It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
I realize this post is a few years old, but what you said so seriously encouraged me to write this post.
Yes, I am a waiter.
Now that you know that, could you please step back and look at the bigger picture?
Why do you think servers are paid UNDER minimum wage, with tips to compensate their pay?
Think about it. If waiters were paid in full by their employers (which is a just idea), then they have no obligation- no incentive to provide you with outstanding service. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe this system is to better serve the customers rather than just keep more money in the employers’ pockets?
My second point is this. I am seeing many people posting about how education is provided, and if the server wants to, they can achieve advanced education, thus resulting in a better job. You are correct about the means and rewards of a higher education.
Now, have you noticed that most servers are in their early 20’s and 30’s? Why is this?
Because a majority of people working part-time jobs(waiters included) are STUDENTS.
THEY’RE ALREADY DOING WHAT YOU ACCUSE THEM OF NOT DOING.
Third, you saying that you would feel fine with paying whatever is on the bill is incredibly idiotic.
So you have a problem with tipping, but you’d feel fine being CHARGED 20% gratuity on the bill?
Buddy, that should be even more offending to you, because now it’s not a tip by your grace, but a DEMAND for a tip. See what I’m saying?
And as for the whole culture issue, you did bring up a strong point with the treatment of women in the middle east. However, if you feel so strongly against injustice in various cultures, namely the culture of tipping; THEN WHY DON’T YOU TELL THE OWNER OF THE ESTABLISHMENT THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG?
Last, we are all people living in our own norms- things we are used to. You walk in a restaurant, and just because you feel different and therefore do so differently, is by no means an INTELLIGENT nor COURTEOUS method of communicating how you feel. What did that server do to you? Yet by your simple beliefs you leave with no tip and without a word. So how can you blame the opposite party for viewing you as a cheap person if you don’t even bother to explain why you didn’t tip?
Maybe you really do feel cheap on the inside so can’t even face the person who at least on the outside so gladly served you.
Please, reconsider. As a final point, if you do have a problem with the way things are- you are aware of carry-out, right?
In reply to Paul
By the way, I must add a few thoughts.
OF COURSE if the service was poor, you should tip, or not tip accordingly.
And as for the blackmailing for tips… You wouldn’t have been threatened if you had either a.) tipped, or b.) at least explained why you didn’t tip.
Sorry we’re not gifted at telepathy.
In reply to Paul
But I already pay extra for food at restaurants. That means the service is included.
And yes – having the extra on the bill would be better for me because then I can make an informed choice as to which restaurant to go to based on the price alone.
Finally, most of us do our jobs to the best of our ability without the extra incentives of tips. If waiters were paid at least minimum wage, I see no reason why they would not do the same.
What do you mean by paying “extra”?
Where does it indicate that the cost of the food already includes the service?
Be as it may in other countries, this is not so in the U.S.
Point taken on the pre-charged, LABELED tip on the bill.
“Most of us do our jobs to the best of our ability…”
I think you’re wrong here. Ever heard of social loafing?
People procrastinate because there are others in the workforce who are willing to pick up the slack because they do not want to lose their jobs, as a result, everyone looks good.
Waiting/serving is one of the few occupations where social loafing is non-existent. This is because the worker suffers as a direct result of their lack of work.
I look forward to your response.
In reply to Paul
I pay “extra” in the sense that a sit down restaurant is more expensive than a pure take out place or a self service place. So what am I paying extra for? The service of course.
Not that moving food from the kitchen to the table is a super duper snazzy value add. It’s basic. The restaurant needs to make sure my food reaches my table (so I can eat it). That’s what waiters are for.
You just proved my point that waiters don’t need extra motivation to do their work since there’s a direct negative result of them not doing so. Where’s the disagreement? I come from a place where no one tips. Waiters do their jobs just fine without additional motivation.
bhagwad is right on the money:
You just proved my point that waiters don’t need extra motivation to do their work since there’s a direct negative result of them not doing so. Where’s the disagreement? I come from a place where no one tips. Waiters do their jobs just fine without additional motivation.
Paul, you are proving the point that waiters will only work hard IF they receive an incentive. There are other jobs out there that require you do work your best without tips. Why is waiting any different?
This is the last time I will post here.
Obviously, you have a problem with the culture here. You even said so yourself in an earlier post “to hell with the culture difference”
If you don’t like the country or the way things are here then maybe you should leave?
And the increased cost of food at a restaurant is for exactly that- the AMBIENCE, the fact that it’s SIT-DOWN. Does NOT mean that service is included in there.
As for the person who won’t provide their name and said why should waiting be any different?
Did you know that as of LAW, the minimum wage is divided into two categories, one for the majority of jobs, and another EXCLUSIVELY for waiters/servers.
Don’t take my word for it, look it up. Basically what I am saying is this. Servers are required to operate and make their earnings in this way, BY LAW. The LEGAL minimum wage for servers is $2.35, much lower than the REGULAR minimum wage.
Once again, it is THE LAW. If you disagree, YOU’RE the offender.
Leave the fucking country. Man, you seriously try hard to find a way to make your non-tipping look okay.
You mentioned yourself that you are from a place where they don’t tip, BECAUSE TIP IS INCLUDED OVER THERE. They tip here, obviously BECAUSE TIP IS NOT INCLUDED. You are such a blithering idiot. You are contradicting yourself with every damn post.
And stop making multi’s and posting. It doesn’t win you more support other than in your childish head. You’re so pathetic.
In reply to Paul
So now we come to it at last. After all the justifications are shorn away, what you’re really saying is “It’s the culture”. No reasons. No rationalizations. Good – at least you’re finally being honest.
Well if it’s a crappy culture, I have no reason to follow it blindly. As I mentioned, if I’m in an Arabic nation, I’m not going to mistreat women just because “it’s the damn culture!”
And please show me how merely disagreeing with a law makes me an offender? Freedom of expression anyone? I’m not breaking the law am I? Perhaps I’m ignorant of some law on the books that I’m violating. Do tell :D
Very convenient to have a “culture” that involves people throwing money at you. Sorry, but do you think I was born yesterday?
In reply to bhagwad
Its not a cultural thing guys–its the RIGHT thing not to tip. Why is it, btw that countries that are propsering so well today HAVE NO MINIMUM WAGE?? Its all a sham. We don’t need government to intrude in our lives everyday. This is why I feel no need to tip. can’t pay your bills? you should have not agreed to a job in which the wages were not adequate to your living standards. That’s called fiscal responsibility. As a potential employee and wage-maker, you have to understand where you are in terms of your finances.
THIS IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY AS A CONSUMER!!!! I AM ONLY AT THE ESTABLISHMENT OF INTEREST TO CONSUME, NOTHING ELSE. Your wages are not my problem, again this is a free market capitalist society. Your wages are YOUR problem.
Amen! I worked in the fast food industry and we work far harder than any waitress or waiter. We not only have to carry heavy things and the stress of cooking several orders at once, but we don’t get nothing to show for it. We aren’t given tips for a job that is far more back breaking and stressful. How many times do I see waitresses at restaurants, just standing idly by while the cooks are in suffocating heat? If we can do our jobs, which are far more challenging for no tips, then so can waitresses.
In reply to Kayla Sonergoran
Kayla–very good points. The wait staff do not even realize this, but the reason that the system has remained is because THEY WANT IT THAT WAY!! Some posters even mention that they make MORE money this way by not tipping. Prices are already marked up yet they demand a labor cost that is not included in the final biling.
If you, Kayla demanded someone at a fast food restaraunt for a 15% tip for their food, i’m sure you would know their reaction. I wish more people had your attitude, otherwise we the consumer would not have to feel guilty for essentially pumping money into the economy by spending, yes spending. Wait staff do themselves a disfavor by repelling people from spending money in restaraunts by enforcing these silly tipping ideals. Have you noticed that during the recession, one of the hardest hit industries was SIT DOWN RESTARAUNT SERVICES?? yet waiters STILL demand a 15-20% tip? how does that even make business sense?
Good post Kayla, hats off!!
Go get a real job. One that does not rely on your customers to pay your wages.
Get a real job faggots , its not my job to pay you more than you need and for you to go spend it on drugs and booze!
Well , I’ve been gone for a month and look what has happened. All I can say is OMG. I try to be polite but the ignorance and the stupidity is wearing away at my politeness.
Servers… You say you are educated and intelligent. Why is it then , that you can’t , for one second, see why people don’t like being DOUBLE BILLED. If YOU went to any other business and they acted like you do (extra extra extra.. I can’t do my job unless you pay me extra) you would be outraged. Why, for just a moment, can’t you understand the other side. And don’t say the non tippers don’t see your side, cause we do! You are being treated UNFAIR no doubt, BUT it’s NOT the customers fault. For “T” (that was too gutless to even put a name) like others have said, there are many many workers, that work a hell of a lot harder than you plate carrying wimps and do it with pride with out the incentive of tips. If that’s the only reason you can do a good job for someone, than you are pathetic.
P.S. That stupid excuse that prices will go up is BS. MacDonalds survives fine with low prices, good service and no money hungry whores. Also “t” the stupid comment you made at the end about “stay home”… that will really keep you employed now won’t it. Jeez
I see that Common Sense has been taking care of things in my absence. Good Job!
And Bhagwad…. Look what you started :) almost 3 years later and you still have to defend yourself.
Good Post!!
This has been a long going issue for me and my friends. I’m so glad that someone had the courage to bring it up!!
Right on Janet… you are not going to win with these cheap people…. they just want an excuse to be discusting human beings…. you reap what you sow…. so im not worried.