It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
@the plasticgraduate
I understand where you're coming from. Which is why I do tip in this country. It is a system that I disagree with, but it is a social system nonetheless. And I understand that people derive their livelihoods from tips and so, I do the whole 'when in Rome' thing.
What I am against is the whole attitude of blaming the customer who doesnt tip (enough) while not a single attack is directed towards the system itself.
There are forums over forums dedicated to bitching about people who dont tip. Yet I havent come across even one that says with equal enthusiasm – "lets demand higher hourly wages for servers."
There has to be something to this. Why are servers ok with a system that leaves them at the mercy of the customers if there is such a risk involved? Why dont they demand minimum wages, at least?
I dont understand this.
In reply to Anupa
The system will never change. Restaurant companies have too much lobbying power, and if there was ever a stir made about this, there would be a massive shit-storm on CNN and Fox News. This would lead to one thing – government inaction. No government official would touch this issue, out of fear for pissing of their constituents. So, in essence, any effort to change the system would also be an effort to change the federal government’s system concerning lobbying power and corruption.
In reply to Anupa
Its hard to someone not from the US to understand US politics. There are many, many voices out there saying that $2 an hour for servers is not only unfair, but basically a human rights abuse. But there is no appetite for raising wages within the US political discourse.
If a major politician tried to raise minimum wage, or target excessively low server’s wages, they would be run out of Washington for being a communist.
I don’t like our tips based system any more than foreigner’s do. But I also understand that its up to me to make sure my server is compensated because the employer sure as shit isn’t going to do it until the government grows a pair and forces them to.
In reply to Anupa
I’m curious as to where you work. Next time you want a pay raise, I dare ya to call up the corporation administers and tell them that. Let me know how that works out for ya.
Fact is, the rich people couldn’t care less about the hard workers with little to show for it. They’re all greedy so to say “lets get mad at the system” well ya think people aren’t mad? Of course they are! But you make it sound so easy… “lets just walk up to the man and stick it to him, that’d do it!” HA! How many times has that actually worked… very VERY little.
And no offence to servers, their under-paid problems are probably at the bottom of the list to most of the folks running the place. So I doubt corporation is going to pay much attention to their complaints about payment.
i like the post for its curt, rude, frankness.. :)
I, for one, tip. but tht's in India where I and most of us, don't treat the 10% rule as sacrosanct.. we tip when the service is good, and at rare occasions, have not paid a penny when the service was poor… when i was a student (not earning to tip generously) a waiter gave such a nasty look when the tip was not enough, after tht belittling gesture i was scared into not being stingy.. :) now i am a little more thick-skinned and less in awe of restaurants, etiquette and such crap and so follow my mind.
I came here from IHM and like your blog.. will read up again
In reply to Gauri
Go back to your own country, you sub-human piece of shit.
In reply to Grovercleveland
Wow. Totally uncalled for and ignorant. Bhagwad is cheap, triffling, petty and a miserable human being based upon what he has written here, but there is no call for hateful, racist commentary. There are good and bad people all over the world.
Bhadwad is totally ignorant in regards to what servers and baretnders do for a living and what it expectedc of them from both patrons and the management of restaurants and bars. One could explain all of this to him in excrutiating detail, but the simple fact is he doesn’t WANT to understand and doesn’t care. So, he will, from time to time get bad service at places he frequents. Good waiters and waitresses give solid service regardless of tips. Bad and mean spirited servers will blow their nose in his food and other nasty “revenge” tactics. Oh well. If restaurant employees unionized and prices went up, he’d find a reason to complain about that as well. It’s his nature. He is a miserable, petty, cheap, willfully ignorant little man. My guess is that he is short and probably doesn’t get much respect in life and at work…so he empowers himself in petty little ways like stiffing restaurant employees and feeling virtuous about it.
In reply to Scott Swenson
Bhagwad? You mean Shitwad right?
Hm. Isn't a "tip" appreciation for a job "well done, better than normal" and not for "job completed?" I don't get 15% extra pay from my boss when I turn in my TPS reports on time. Why's a kid ferrying food so special?
The way things often are, you tip 15% regardless of service and more if its good. Right. What if it's a job done shittily?
In reply to Thanatos
Hey assholios, it is not a requirement to tip, it is completely optional. With that being said, keep your two dollars and go get a decent haircut. For those of us who could give two shits about leaving a couple of extra bucks for the waiter, let us. Dear Fucksticks, I bet your the same fuckbags who will not tip a waiter, but will spend 30 dollars on a christmas present for someone you dont even like…..idiots. Hello, numbnutsacks, go get a life. Honestly, for those douchebarrios that dont tip, there are many of us who will make up the difference….we dont see it as a waste of money. Many states like Washington, California, and Montana actually do pay there waiters minimum wage….guess what dicktanions, the waiters still receive tips from people who just truly appreciate hustle…..Hello??? Tips aside. For someone who waits tables it is an avenue for many other ventures that may come about. Someone may say, look at this fucking dude, he hustles, maybe we could put him in our training program over at BIG TIME CORPORATION. Hey, asscrackers under the bed, stop analyzing this shit to death, because some of us tip and some of us dont. Keep your 57 cents and pay off your student loans dip shits. Education obviously hasnt made any of you people smart, just a little more fucking stupid actually. Ahh, for those of you ghetto mofos, white trash assholes, college graduate hippy fuckfaces, you can actually save the aformentioned 2 dollars and travel abroad…You will then find out that tipping is accepted in most countries, even where it is not encouraged. First, start by getting a passport, then immunizations, then a plane ticket, and then some shit to travel with. This may take you 10 years, but once you do finally get a chance to travel, you will see that tipping is a fucking UNIVERSAL custom accepted everywhere, with the exception of Antarctica. Like the shuttle buses at Denver International Airport. Sign clearly says, “please no tipping” but guess what? motherfucker accepted a Lincoln right out of my pocket. So you see my dimwitted fucking stool pigeons….it doesnt matter that you dont tip. Someone else will. And the waiters are never really worried about what your going to leave them, because believe me, they do know what they have signed up for. Sincerely, a citizen who has been tipping for 20 years, and still has hundreds of thousands in the bank. Started as a waiter, now I employ hundreds. Sometimes, hustle gets you places.
In reply to bob timmons
Lmao!! Amen! Serving is a fine example of how the harder you work, the more money you make! I am not going to cry if you don’t tip me, but I sure hope you don’t sit at my table too long! This girl is Hustlin!!
In reply to Thanatos
Does your boss have a government that allows him to legally pay you 1/3 of the cost of living and tell you to find the rest of your salary somewhere else. Also I hear so many people saying all these servers are doing is running food. Little do some realize that all the small touches in a restaurant are upkepr by the servers. Those booths you sit in and the tables and floor are cleaned by your server at the end of the night. That picture high up in the wall you LOVE gets dusted by your server risking his life to get the corners. You don’t sick every time you order a soda because we clean every part of the drink machine at night. When the parking lot is perfectly shoveled after a snow your server is the one who’s manner asked him to come in early to do it. Your cook is just that a cook thats what they do. Same with a dishwasher all they do is wash dishes. Severs are the F and B catch all we do all the jobs in the restaurant. When you see us calm and collected at your table and on the floor we have a list of 100 people to please and 100 things to do. Id like to see you mother fuckers who say serving isn’t that hard put something real on the line and serve tables.
In reply to Epps
That boss is required to make up minimum wage to you in case your tips don’t reach that amount. An unlikely scenario I’m sure.
@Thanatos
You're right. I've often heard the phrase "America is a generous nation – so we tip". If that is so, when did generosity become obligatory? That defeats the entire purpose. Generosity is by definition rare – if one is generous all the time, then it becomes expected and loses its purity.
In reply to bhagwad
when is the last time that you tipped a doctor, or thanked a surgeon with a generous cash gift.
Doctors and surgeons require a fortune for study, and it takes years of training and hard work to become one.
What is worth more to you, someone who saves your life, or someone that dropped out of school and only knows how to bring a plate from the kitchen to your table.
The next time a waitress is in a car accident and their life is saved by a surgeon, i hope that they thank them by giving them a massive 15% tip.
In reply to matt
@ Matt thats the most ignorant comment I’ve ever heard.
Just because someone works as a server doesnt mean they are a drop out from school.
Many people in the business have graduated college and are trying to start their own business (myself included, I do wedding photography) and need flexible hours. A lot are putting themselves through school and need flexible hours. Many were laid off in this crap economy and it doesnt pay to get a crap retail job pushing cash register buttons for $8 an hour when you can make $100 in a 5 hour shift at a restaurant.
You think it’s just that easy and it’s bringing a plate to a table huh? I challenge you to get a serving job especially at a busy tourist location.
You try waiting on 6 tables at a time filled with ignorant people like yourself that think the world revolves around them and that they’re the only on who walked into the restaurant at 5pm and the only one whose food is cooking in the kitchen and expects everything to happen and be done within a 2 second time frame. If servers got a decent hourly wage then you bit your ass they’d be giving you shitty service just like the shitty behavior and attitude the servers are given by the customers that walk in the restaurant. The only reason we endure and tolerate and continue to smile at the “guest” is because our salary depends on it. You as a shit hole guest should consider yourself lucky we dont get a higher hourly rate or your food would really be tampered with and you’d really hate going out to eat because with an attitude like yours, no server would give you the time of day.
In reply to matt
Have you always been a cheap asshole, or did you have to take a class?
In reply to matt
In America a doctor also charges rediculously high prices and wouldn’t need a tip. Doctors make mannnnnny mannnnyyyy more dollars than a server & for much less “physical” hustle…and THAT is the bonus you get for being a doctor. Your comparing apples to oranges and your comment is irrelevant…besides people send thank you gifts to doctors all the time and doctors have numerous other perks that pay off for all that hard work studying and yada yada yada! Boohoo about doctors somewhere else.
In reply to matt
Why don’t you ask that surgeon how he/ she paid their way through school? I can tell you there is a good chance he/ she held a job in the service industry. I’ll have fun waving my Master’s and three professional certifications in your face next year, because I paid for them with my service job.
In reply to matt
Wow- really fucking ignorant. I have an MBA and a pretty sweet ass job putting it to use and work at a restaurant bartending part time because I enjoy doing it. I probably make part time bartending what you make full time- no joke. I do it because the customers are great- accept for the occasional dick lickers like you. Working in a restaurant is harder than my day job- I would like to see anyone who hasn’t worked in a restaurant work 6 tables. Good fucking luck. Stay home and cook and clean up after yourself if you think you’re too good to pay me for doing it for you. The restaurant pays me for the upkeep and preparation of the restaurant- not to wait on douchebags like you. Tips are to compensate for that part.
Why don't you ask your employer to pay you a decent wage? When we go to a store, we don't tip the clerk for showing is the wares, then why should we tip you? Your anger is misplaced…@Jason
In reply to Sraboney
The wait staff is way down on the totem pole. If the waiter is a trouble maker, the manager can fire him/her and get a new one. Asking for higher wages is easier said than done. Many of the wait staff are usually in a financial rut with no other way to make ends meet. So they can’t afford to lose what little they get.
Now look at a privileged restaurant goer whining about not wanting to pay tips. How much difference does it make to you whether that 15% is added in the bill or you have to leave it afterward? Actually it does make a difference–you get better service in the latter case.
I think most of the people complain about tipping because of the high amount expected (15-20%) which I agree is high. Yes the hourly wage needs to be raised and the percentage of expected tip lowered. But it shouldn’t just be the wait staff who should fight to improve this. I don’t even know how to go about it. (Disclaimer: I am not a waiter. I have never worked in the restaurant business.)
In reply to Change
The thing is I find it strange that every industry in the US has over the past 100 years unionized and got better working conditions, work timings, benefits and wages for itself. Every single profession…except for waiters. And why? Probably because they like it this way. They don’t want a system where they get higher wages and no tips because they earn a hell of a lot more like this.
I have a big problem with that. The “poor waiter” picture suddenly gets inverted on its head.
In reply to bhagwad
Yup. In big cities during daytime, you’ll notice lots of young people just out and about. How do they make a living? They’re waiters at night. And if you’re good-looking and work at an expensive restaurant, you can make up to $500 a night. That’s more than a marketing coordinator who has to make creative and strategic decisions every minute of the day.
I got yelled at a bartender once because I only tipped $2 for her pouring a red bull into a glass, because she wanted a $5 tip. I was earning $10.50/hour working at a lab, creating course material. Was I expected to give half an hour worth of my intellectual labour to someone who spent 8 seconds pouring a can into a glass for me? Unbelievable how entitled some servers are.
They want to justify their attitude by claiming their jobs are ‘more difficult’ than other workers’? Who’s stopping them from getting an ‘easier’ job, then?
In reply to jx
Well lookie here.
None of the ‘waiters’ here in this discussion want to post a reply to jx!
In reply to jx
Wow! That was pretty inappropriate of that bartender! You were right to be upset! But please understand that not everyone waiting tables is young, beautiful, rude and spending all of their money on partying! There are people from all walks of life doing that job! Most of us are just trying to feed our children while finishing school!! I’ve never expected a tip, but I certainly don’t need anyone to give me a long list of why they are choosing not to pay me for the services rendered…just eat your food quickly and leave…more than likely as Kharma has it, the next group of people will make up for you.
In reply to jx
I’m kind of disappointed that you would base your opinion on one bartender with a bad attitude. I can tell you that the vast majority of establishments would not put up with that kind of behavior, and that girl was most likely fired not too long after you had that unfortunate interaction with her.
In addition, I have to question why you were at a bar if you are making such a low wage. Bars/ restaurants in big cities are often high end establishments, in which patrons are expected to pay for the atmosphere and experience. This comes from the tips that are given. I never expect or demand a tip, but I feel that if I have worked hard to facilitate a good experience, some compensation would be nice. By the way, a good part of bartenders/ servers who work only at night do so because they are supplementing their income while going to school full time or working a day job that does not pay well. Please try to be more understanding.
In reply to bhagwad
Do you realize that these systems and unions are being done away with completely in this country? There is no job security anymore! You should be afraid of losing your job if you stand up for yourself at any job!
In reply to bhagwad
Do you have any idea what the current opinion of unions in the US is like? Unions are viewed roughly on par with the KKK. The governor of my state recently declared our teacher’s union “a terrorist organization” and was praised for his honesty!
I’m very pro-union, but I’m one of very few.
For all the servers who make a lot off tips, there are several hundred who are living below a living wage. Yeah, if you work at a high end restaurant that runs about $100 per person for dinner, you’re going to be doing pretty okay for a service industry job. But still not enough that anyone would make it their lifetime career. But more importantly, the vast majority of servers are working at smaller, family style restaurants where most of the cosumers are getting the $9.99 blue plate special. Its hard to even break even at that point, if you account for servers that have to tip-out to hosts and other staff each night.
In reply to bhagwad
So what do you think would happen if employers had to pay waitresses more money- you think they wouldn’t pass that off to the customer? Prices of food would increase to MORE than what it would be if you had just tipped in the first place. And then service would decline because why should a server go above and beyond serving you if they are going to get paid anyways?? When you are paying the bill at a restaurant you are paying for the food- not the service! If you really think that servers should unionize then you will be paying $20 for a burger rather than the $8 you pay at a restaurant today. Why is it so difficult for you dick suckers to realize that what you are paying for is the product- not the service!
In reply to Marie
And why is it so hard for you assshits to realize that not everyone has the fucking money. Don’t tell people that they aren’t allowed to go out once in a while to have a nice meal, just because they can’t pay a fucking gratuity?
In reply to Change
15-20% is not high when you factor in every server has to personally tip out a percentage of their sales to the bussers, bartenders and food runners if they have them. If you cant afford to tip you cant afford to go out to eat, bottom line in the US. If you dont like it then stay in your country no one asked for you to come to our country and be a prick. We’d much rather you stay out anyway.
To everyone that thinks waiters should just ask for more hourly wage, please realize it just won't happen.
I've worked for seven years in restaurants. I've seen managers and owners shave hours off employees' checks, steal tips from the pool, refuse to pay any overtime, and refuse breaks to employees working long shifts. At two restaurants, employees went to the labor board (this is supposed to be anonymous) to file complaints. Guess the outcome? They got fired.
The fact is that restaurant owners are powerful, and servers are not. If I asked any restaurant owner I ever worked for to pay me more per hour, I would have been laughed at. And then there would be a "Help Wanted" post on Craigslist the next day. The owner of the restaurant I currently work in is a personal friend of several local and state politicians. Nobody that isn't a server cares about servers' wages. And if you think you do, then go join a movement for change on this issue, but I bet you won't.
Tips are our wages. You should calculate that in when eating out. It is the system, and it's spiteful to take money from a server's pocket simply because you don't agree with something they have no control over.
I understand the differences in your culture in comparison to American culture. However, it is generally acceptable in America that if you receive average/good service in a restaurant, the tip out is about 15%. More if the service was above and beyond. From what you said, you prefer average service (take order, run order, deliver check, bye bye). However, if you consistently show up at the same establishment and become a "regular" so to speak, and only tip less than 10%, you can expect that when you walk through those doors, the serving staff are probably trying to pawn you off on whoever else they can, such as a newbie just out of training because they know you're going to nearly stiff them. Not to mention, you probably won't even receive "average" service and may find yourself waiting for a long time for your drink, food, etc… because the server is probably more focused on making sure they their customers who aren't cheapskates are getting the best service possible. You are last on the priority list. Why should a server sabotage their money by spending less time on their good tipping customers to take care of a cheapskate whose going to probably leave them little to nothing?
When you go to McDonald's, you are expecting to just get food served at the counter, eat, and go with no interaction whatsoever with a waitstaff, so therefore you obviously don't need to tip. Employees are paid minimum wage there. Same goes at any fast food joint. However, when you go to a restaurant, it is expected that the customer service is better, the ambiance is better, food is better, etc… You're "taken care of" so to speak. The servers get paid less than $4/hour depending on the area because the tip is part of their expected income. Keep in mind, out of what you tip (or fail to tip), we also have to tip out bartenders (whether you drank or not, its part of the tip-out), hostesses and hosts, and sometimes the chefs as well. So if you leave $1.00 MAYBE .40 or .50 goes to the server. That is certainly not going to pay the bills, student loans, or feed the kids.
Don't expect even average service if you're known for being a cheapskate. If you can't afford to tip or are too self-righteous to think that you should tip, then don't go out to eat somewhere that you'll have a server. Your excuses are all cop-outs. I'd never spit in a customers food or do anything like that to sabotage what their putting into their bodies because their cheapskates, but don't expect exceptional service beyond the absolute minimum when I have customers at the table next to you who take care of me when I take care of them.
If you don't like the American customs, you know where to go.
Alright, now I understand that different countries have different customs and all the like. However, as someone said earlier, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." If you don't like having to tip a waiter, then don't eat out. Go home and actually cook for yourself. Waiters are here to provide a service to you and if you don't make it worth their while, why should they bother to do anything for you? From what I understand, over the pond in jolly old England waitstaff are paid a decent amount. Do you know what that means? Servers won't give a shit if their service is good or bad, either way they're getting paid. Here in America, if a server is decent (keep in mind, there are plenty that aren't) they'll work for that tip. And those of you who believe serving is a mindless job, then you've obviously never served at a restaurant before.
Also, for those saying that the kitchen staff should be commended for their work, why not be penalized for their misdoings as well? Who do customers get mad at if their steak wasn't cooked correctly? The cook? Pfft, as if. It's the servers that get the brunt of it. Sorry I don't have x-ray vision to tell if your steak is medium instead of medium-rare, I assumed the cook put it on the grill for the allotted time.
Also, if you're recognized as being a crappy tipper, what makes you think you'll get decent service? If a server knows they're not getting anything worthwhile from you, then why should they bother? As for you doing us the "favor" of allowing us to serve you and feed you for a meal, then shouldn't you scratch our backs as well? No? Then I sure hope I never have you in my section or else I'll be ignoring your sorry ass. Oh wait, that's right, you're the world's gift to us servers. We should be worshiping the ground you walk on just because you came to our restaurant.
Not so much.
@Elias
<blockquote cite="#commentbody-7179">
Elias :
Waiters are here to provide a service to you
IMHO waiters are there to transfer the food from the cook to me. That's not a special service, it's something that is part of the restaurant's offering. The waiter is part of the restaurant, not some outsider who decides to play the good samaritan.
<blockquote cite="#commentbody-7179">
If you don’t make it worth their while, why should they bother to do anything for you?
How about it being their job for which they are getting paid a salary?
In reply to bhagwad
Shut the fuck up, you cock-sucking raghead. Go home. You are not needed nor wanted in this country. I personally believe you’re probably here on an expired tourist visa or an H1B and I will be complaining to the immigration and customs enforcement people about you.
Go home you fucking piece of shit.
In reply to Grovercleveland
I concur. Every time these shits come into the restaurant, you have no idea how much fun all the servers make of them. We try to pass these asswipes to another section and then we crack up about it and say ” congratulations! Now you make $0!” Then we go out for drink at the end of the night and buy the poor server a drink just because we know how bad it is. That is how bad you make you own race look you freaking Indian with your “wata no ice!”