It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Old thread, but I stumbled upon it, so a my 2 cents:
The whole tipping culture in (North) America is fundamentally irrational, IMO.
All said and done, we basically have (and largely accept) a system where workers in this particular industry are paid well below what would be the market-determined rate for their service. The assumption here, of course, is that the difference will be made up by an arbitrary amount paid up by the end users of the services.
That’s the commerce side of things.
From the consumer side, it’s very different. If I pay money, I’m usually expecting to get something in return. It doesn’t have to be tangible – donating to MSF will not give me tangible returns, but it will have other benefits, like making me feel good about helping people out. Nobody pays cash for nothing. So what’s really going on with the tipping scene?Apart from the fact that it allows you to show appreciation for a good meal (and thereby, feel good yourself too), it allows you to ditch the negative consequences of being someone who does NOT tip. In other words, you’re basically trying to avoid being called a cheapskate by people around you, as well as avoiding a guilt trip for robbing someone their supposed due (as dictated by your culture). In my opinion, this is the only reason that the vast majority of people actually tip.
When I am in the US, I tip generously if I get good service and I tip not-so-generously if I get bad service. This is not because I have any commercial obligation to do so. I do it because:
a) It is not a considerable loss to me; and
b) My personal value system tells me that any act that is not a considerable loss to me, and helps another person make their living, is worth carrying out.
The system may be skewed, but it is what it is. I don’t see ‘not tipping’ on a personal level as an effective way to change the system, because it is not something that is public or something that can set a precedent in any measurable way. Considering that it does not really hurt me in any form, I go along with the flow of the industry, and pay up the differential between the upfront cost of the food I eat and the true cost of the service that is delivered to me.
I’m making business cards that say “tinyurl.com/thisisyourtip”
Wow, what an interesting read, original post AND comments! I agree with Bhagwad that tipping is entirely optional, and if you are a waiter you shouldn’t feel “stiffed” if you don’t get a tip/get a small tip. If at all get angry at the system that allows restaurants to pay less than minimum wage ($2.13 is ridiculous!), and a system that takes taxes from you regardless of how little you earn.
On that note, how is it possible for employers to pay less than minimum wage?? Isn’t it called “minimum wage” for a reason?!? Some of the comments were saying that if a waiter doesn’t make at least minimum wage in tips the employer has to make up the difference – which makes perfect sense. If your employer does that then I really don’t know what you guys are upset about. If your employer is NOT doing that they are breaking the law so get mad about THAT, instead of at the customers for breaking a invisible ink “social contract” or going against “American culture”. From the law-breaking employer’s point of view, tipping is a wonderful thing as it reduces labor costs – ridiculousness like turning away customers who didn’t (voluntarily!) tip before makes financial sense.
For those who say that if there were no tips, food prices would go up and customers would have to pay more : they are already paying more! Anywhere from 10%-25% more! Raising food prices means that the cost is at least up-front and guilt-free.
Also, don’t assume that people who don’t tip or tip less are rude or don’t donate to charities – it is a matter of principle. I’m always nice/polite and smile and say thank you whenever anyone helps me, THAT is my thanks for their good service. No one’s saying that waiters don’t have a hard job, but it should be the EMPLOYERS paying their wages, not the customer. End of story.
In reply to BBDLiteful
Thank you BBDLiteful. You are the only one that is stating that EMPLOYERS pay wages, not CONSUMERS. Also tipping is VOLUNTARY so by law i’m not required to tip. One excellent point that you brought up that i didn’t realize was the “below minimum wage” and how can you be payed something below minimum wage if it is already called minimum wage. GREAT POINT !!! :) I think wait staff need to save their energy and complain to their employers instead of the very consumers that pay the bill.
Another supporter!!!!
In reply to Common Sense
Get take-out then.
If you really want to dine-in for your meal and not tip, it just means that you want the prompt service and experience without paying an extra dime of appreciation for it.
Take the food home. Refill your own water cup and clean up your own mess.
It’s hard to justify being cheap.
Old post but I’ll still write my opinion. Serving at a restaurant is a service. If you dont pay tips to other service providers then you should not be expected to tip waiters. As simple as tgat. Now someone will say its a part of American culture, but, culture neednot necessarily be right. Some things just need to change. Waiters need to be paid more and not expected to survive on tips alone.
In reply to Leez
you’re right. The person taht is providing service over the phone when I call ATT does not expect me to provide a tip. Culture should not play into commerce. Common sense, however, should. Wait staff need to be paid more, but at the same time, they need to begin demanding it more. Unfortunately, the current status quo of tipping actually is the very reason they do not demand for it. They continue to guilt their patrons into the tipping system, and it works very well. Luckily I’m not as gullible as others are nor should anybody fall prety to the guilt trip of wait staff.
I am a server and I work very hard to make sure even the neediest of customers have all of their whims and menu modifications taken care of in addition to taking care of multiple groups of people who think they are entitled or more important than the next person. Even though I know I am smarter than most of my customers I try to make sure they enjoy themselves. Being a server on a busy day or night requires extreme organization and composure and I’d be willing to bet all the tips I’ve ever made that the creator of this thread would fail miserably. I’m also positive that Myself and probably 80 percent of the population are better and happier people than this poor lonely disgruntled man. It’s kind of sad actually.
I don’t get too bothered by poor tippers because for every greedy bastard are ten more nice, gracious people who appreciate good service and a sincere smile. My guess is the author of this thread has had a sad and lonely life filled with disdain and insincerity from people he was expecting love from. Maybe it doesn’t go that deep and he is simply a sadass doosh hahahaha >o<
In conclusion and in defense of the food service industry, I quite enjoy it and I live more than comfortably. Nothing wrong with a good old fashioned hands on job! And Jal Park, I really hope you can find something to soften your heart at least just a little bit. You need more joy in your life get a puppy or something!
In reply to Luffy
so are you telling me that servers work harder than say a nurse and therefore are the only ones ENTITLED to a tip (its illegal for people serving you in a hospital to receive tips)? All you guys talk about is the emotional stuff, but remember, restaraunt service is a business like any other. If i’m not legally bound to pay a tip, why should I? Fear of being a jerk? I really don’t care what you or your entitled colleagues feel. I’m at the establishment to eat, that is it. My wife hates tipping more than I do, so don’t think i’m “lonely” or use something else to detract the conversation.
Luffy–you argue that Bhagwad maybe “sad,” but are you saying he is not entitled to his opinion? In America, we value freedom of speech, don’t we? Why are you trying to make it personal? I’ve worked a lot of hands on jobs. You ever work out in a farm when its over 90 degrees? you don’t get tipped that way, trust me, and you probably make about minimum wage (or less if its under the table).
In free market commerce, we are free from your so called emotions, etc. Go to wall street or main street and you’ll see what i’m talking about. It is a good thing to be nice to people, but its BUSINESS. I’m a consumer, taht is it. Treat me as such, that is it.
your superiority comlex is rather compelling to others that may be slightly gullible. Your sense of entitlement seems typical of those in your industry. Once again luffy, you have proven my point. Wait staff feel entitled to receive ADDITIONAL pay than they are legally bound/contractually bound to receive. Postal workers don’t get tipped (not in the restaraunt sense anyway), and they are walking in the heat to deliver your PennySavers. Why do you guys get to make your cases about tips when the rest of us underlings only get what we and our employers agreed? O, right, thats how wages work. you negotiate with your employer and agree to a wage.
nicely and eloquently owned :)
In reply to Luffy
yes, by using simple emotions that anyone can do. I’d like to see wait staff argue the EXACT economics behind tipping and WHY ARE THEY ENTITLED TO TIPS WHILE THE REST OF US ARE NOT??? Please see my post before you claim ownership as a result of your post :) In a debate, simply relying on your competitor’s shortpoints won’t get you too far. Rather than actually arguing the point of the post, which is tipping, you go off talking about how the blogger should go buy a puppy due to him being lonely, according to you, a person that has never met the blogger. Everytime any of us bring up real facts, you guys play on the emotional card. So who may I ask can claim jump ownership using eloquent speech now?
Take it easy lol. I never said anything about servers working harder than anyone else in any other profession. I simply stated that servers work hard and in this society tips are their compensation. As expected the point I was making was completely missed. Of course you don’t HAVE to tip like I said some people tip, some people don’t. When you walk into a church or temple you take off your hat out of respect and because it is customary. Most people tip when they dine at a restaurant because it is customary and because they are decent and nice in general.
You are entitled to state your opinion and I am entitled to state mine. My intention was not to get your panties all in a bunch lol. And now that you mention it, I wouldn’t be opposed to tipping my doctor or nurse. I bake cookies at Christmas for my dentist and I give my mail carrier a gift card every year. Some of you are so hilariously cheap. I still think the puppy thing is a good idea lol >o< Being emotional is good it's what makes us human. As charming as this blog is, I'm over it and I'm sure the rest of the world agrees with me.
(and p.s.
not eloquent at all, pretty lame best of luck!) muhahahaha…
In reply to Luffy
noted then. I just feel people use emotiosn WAY TOO MUCH in this country. When you perform business transactions, thats what they are, business transactions. Money and commerce are NOT human, but we are. I am a firm believer of NOT having a minimum wage, as that would allow for better competition amongst workers and employers, which is why I have no problem with wait staff making less than the minimum wage. They agreed to it as well, so that is not my problem. And even if the wages are so low, why not unionize or quit the job? Why make the consumer feel guilty when its the EMPLOYER’S fault that your wages are so low? Don’t bite the hand that feeds.
You always talk about customs, but aren’t those customs arbitrary? Wasn’t Jim Crow a 300 year old custom in this country? not all customs are right. Yes it is nice to bake cookies and the such for people, but the pro tippers GUILT you into tipping. If you don’t tip, you are suddenly Mussolini. Get my drift? I don’t have to tip, and I won’t tip an arbitrary 15%. I will tip as I please. Thats called freedom, something I value as an American. You say cheap, I say fiscally responsible. Unlike a lot of Americans, i carry no debt, no interest and don’t take out loans. I save my money. If it makes me look cheap, so be it. Maybe more Ameicans should take a hint and save more money this way. Americans take on so much interest and debt that everything price wise is inflated because people assume Americans will buy a good or pay for a service even if they don’t have the money. The tipping indoctrinates that assumption.
Again I still am waiting for SPECIFIC reasons why tipping is so important. The ones I have seen I was able to argue against.
BTW–the custom in many Asian countries is that dogs are filthy, so the puppy analogy might not work for all people. I hate dogs too, so a puppy would make my life miserable. LOL
I do alot of searches in my free time on positive and negative feedback the customers have about their dinning experiences. So when I ran across this one from a customer that absolutely refuses to tip I wanted to make sure I checked it out. I read all the reasons why you don’t wanna tip and even though I don’t have the same attitude towards it as you do, I do respect your opinions.
I have been bar tending / waiting now for almost 20 years. In those years I have received tips that were very generous and I have received tips of no amount at all. At the end of the week when I average then all out more times then not I land around 20% for what I received for that week. So, im not here to try and convince you that i’m some poor smuck that needs charity from anyone.
I work hard at my job. In fact when I got out of the navy in ’93 as a computer specialist, I choose to wait tables because that is what I enjoyed doing. To this day I don’t regret it. You can’t put a price tag on being happy with place you work at.
Now, my job is very demanding. Some people will say its unskilled labor. But, I beg to differ with you. Yes, anyone can take an order and deliver the final product. But, not everyone can be outstanding at customer service while doing that.
At the place I work at now. I make $2.13 an hour. And thats before taxes. I am required by state law to at the very least report 12% of my sales as wages earned before I log out for the night. So that $2.13 gets even smaller then that. By the time the week is over I get maybe $30 in a paycheck, or if it was a busy week there have been times when I owe the place money where I work because of how much taxes were assessed to me.
I did not set up the way business’s can pay their workers. This is something that the government of the country I live has done. I 100% think that owners should pay their workers no matter what the job is minimum wage, i mean thats why its call “Minimum” wage. But, this is not the case. Because of the way it is that hamburg you just payed $8.00 for is at a that price instead of it costing $11.00 and me earning minimum wage. You leaving a $1 tip on a $8.00 hambrug might even be a way of saying thank you to your server becuase in the end they just saved you $2.00 so everyone in the workplace didnt get a part of what you ordered.
With all that said. I dont take the tips people give me lightly. At no time do I think im owed a tip. I dont approach my service like ‘OMG i cant believe you didnt give me money”. I treat my customers like royalty. I pamper them every chance I can. And at the end of every meal before the tip is even in question I explain to my guest that really appreciate them for sitting in my assigned area and allowing me to serve them. And, because they did sit in my area I have a program set up to show them how much I appreciate them. At the end of every month I pick so way for me to give back to one or two of my customers to show them they are indeed important to me. Just last month I had a drawing for two $25 dollar gift certificates that I paid for out of my pocket. This month I am having one drawning for dinner and a moive ($20 dinning / $20 movie gift cards). Next month im doing 4 weekly drawning for $10 dinning card each week. And before you ask, everyone that I wait on has the same chance at these drawning no matter how much or even how little (or nothing) they leave.
Again, respecting your opinion. Id like to say that there are people out there that love what they do and would go that extra mile to make sure you enjoyed your time while out. While you by no means “Need” to tip or every “Have” to tip. Sometimes when someone does something other then take your order and deliver your food it might be nice to at least say thank you not every tip has to be monetary. We all know how the economy is. Everyone likes to eat out, and no one likes to be told you “Have” to do this because in all reality you don’t. Next time your in a restaurant look around while your deciding to not tip. Take a second and count how many people are working there. The ones you cant count, because you cant see them are working on either salary or over minimum wage. The ones you do count because you can see them, would no longer be there if no one tipped. Because I dont think anyone would work 40 hours weeks for $30.
So once you take away all the people that work for tips. You could probably get your food cooked and you could also complain to the manager because no one is taking your order. But, that is as far as you would get in that dinning experience.
well said! food cost does have a lot to do with it
What most of you are failing to note is that the US government-enforced minimum wage for servers/bartenders is $4.65 per hour SOLELY due to the fact that they get tipped. Nurses, salespeople, etc get paid MUCH more than this because they dont get tipped. So, here’s how I see it. If you don’t want to tip your server/bartender, stay home and eat the food you cook yourself and drink the cocktails you made yourself. If you still refuse to tip, prepare to get food poisoning and/or suffer violent bowel movements now and again. I dont put Visine in the drinks I make when I don’t get tipped, but I know plenty of people who do. You definitely shouldn’t mess with the people who handle your food and drinks. The things I’ve seen will make you never want to eat out again unless you treat the ones who serve you properly.
In reply to Industry Vet
Like I said if you’re going to blackmail, at least openly admit your criminal tendencies.
In reply to Industry Vet
So here’s how I see it–accept what you receive as most of us do. Not everyone is supposed to be rich in a capitalist society. Also, you tip AFTER you receive the food, so your illegal activities your friends are performing may not pan out too well. Please do not use the “its the right thing to do” argument, as your friends are poisoning the very customers that are patronizign the establishment. Sounds hokey to me.
How about agreeing to better wages with your employer? How about unionizing? HOw about quitting a job and finding another job that pays better. Why are you getting mad at the CONSUMER for the low wages your EMPLOYER is giving you? Please people, with the exception of Ken, NONE OF YOU ARE MAKING SENSE.
BTW industry vet, the Visine thing sounds like something a Terrorist would do. That’s just horrible.
In reply to Industry Vet
Fuck your a dumb arsehole.
You sound like a freak that should be in jail. What if your customers tip you 20%, do you then tell them you poisened their drinks, or do you just watch them drink it and enjoy their suffering as it gives you sick pleasures that you cant buy with money.