It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
“When I go to a restaurant, I just want to eat and pay what I have to: namely the bill. I don’t want any subjectivity.”
Well, you opted into that subjectivity by going there in the first place. What you really want is everything to be broken down and itemised so you can pick and choose just want you want to pay for. Lets take this to the next level..
“Please complete the following form and hand it to your maitre d’:
Food
[ ] Freshingly Prepared
[ ] Brought to your table
[ ] Warm on arrival.
Cutlery
[ ] Plastic
[ ] Metal
[ ] Fingers (aka “God’s Cutlery”)
Service
[ ] Server smiles
[ ] Server speaks with an authentic Italian accent
[ ] Customer prepares his own meal using the Resturant microwave. They then carry it out to their own fold-up camping table which has been assembled in the parking lot.
In reply to Neil
“What you really want is everything to be broken down and itemised”
What, you mean like…a bill or something?
In reply to bhagwad
see Bhagwad i guess here in the Entitled States of America, you are not supposed to pay a required bill fee. You are supposed to hand EVERYTHING you own to the waiter. Soon you will be required to tip 100% and your first born at the rate we are going. HAHAHA
Joking aside, bills itemise the entire service, correct? why can’t the LABOR be included in that? You guys ever work in construction. Did you know that labor is included? BTW most of those guys work under the table too, so please do not give me “i make the 2/hr” BS.
I refuse to take anything that “Common Sense” says seriously because they’re clearly a republican, which automatically makes their opinion irrelevant.
Joking aside (well, half joking), all I see in these comments are people constantly repeating their arguments. While I think it’s totally wrong not to tip and I think people who don’t tip are true assholes, nothing I say can change their opinion. I feel for the servers who have to deal with customers like that.
Oh, and racial stereotypes exist for a reason. I waited tables from my senior year of high school all the way up to when I finished grad school. I can easily say that in general, Indian people are lousy tippers. Don’t get me wrong, there are some exceptions, but over all the stereotype was very true. Call me racist, I don’t care because I know I’m not. It’s not my fault that in every one of the 12 restaurants I worked in, I got stiffed by 90% of Indian customers.
In reply to Liberal
First off–i follow no party as I believe both parties are leading the country into a dictatorship and taking away our liberties and freedoms. The dems tax the hell out of us and regulate the hell out of us and the repubs wanna bomb every non-whtie non-christian country in the world, but aside from that. Both parties are ridiculous and we are becoming apart of a dictatorship and don’t even know it. But again, that is my own aside.
BTW you sound WAY more republican than I do with your racial ways. Besides most Indians in the US (and outside the country) are wealthy and fiscally responsible. I guess they are the only ones that are not conned by the entitled young Generation Y elite that have overtaken the country, am I not correct?
People are repeating arguments, as am I. I’m asking the same question over and over again and NO ONE from the serving community has answered. Ken is the only one that has provided a sensible answer, but HIS is completely based on compassion, which is fine and good.
If you wanna go racial stereotypes than I guess white Americans are fiscally irresponsible and do nothing but carry debt and interest. The country is in a ton of debt. I guess the indians got something rigth that we didn’t get.
“What, you mean like…a bill or something?”
Seems my point sailed over your head. Oops.
By asking for no-frills waiting, you are asking to itemise things that aren’t being sold separately to begin with. You want the waiter to be a separate item that you can just opt out of, correct? Well that’s not how their business model works. They would not make much of a profit if customers could de-construct the restaurant experience and only pay for the specific elements that they wanted to.
Think about all of the hundreds of things that constitutes a Restaurant’s overhead. Are you going to go down that list and check off things that you don’t personally make use of?. No toilet paper in the bathrooms please, no ketchup, don’t clean my table, I’ll bring my own plate, so make plates a separate thing to deduct from my bill!
You don’t like the subjectivity, the process of thinking of a tipping amount. Well that is how most restaurant’s have constructed their business model so that’s what you are opting into by visiting them.
In reply to Neil
so you agree with frivolity and arbitrary issues? Business can’t run on frivolity. Then again i guess the restaurant industry found out how to make the frivolous a business motto.
you mention restaurant overhead. Food is usually marked ON AVERAGE about 3-4 times its actual value. So a filet mignon is normally about 8-10 bucks but at a restaraunt you’ll be lucky to pay under 25. Where is that other overhead going? Are you telling me that 15 dollars is going to the cooks? C’mon give me a break will ya?
The tipping system does nothing but stress people out. The CONSUMERS feel guilty because they have to pay a tip even if its bad service. otherwise they’ll get scolded by a bunch of Generation y entitled college kids and won’t be welcome back at the restaraunt. The wait staff feel cheapened because they only get 10% rather than 15%. Sometimes one waiter may feel jealous because he recieved a 30% tip while another waiter who did a BETTER job only received 10%. Its arbitrary because I could potentially tip 100% if I bought something for $5 dollars, but if I got an expensive glass of wine for $50 dollars, are you expecting me to tip the same percentage?Again, arbitrary.
Lets go back to the wait staff. Fact of life–if you are ugly, you aren’t gonna get tipped too. I did not bring this up due to sensitivity reasons, however unfortunately overweight women who are not very attractive looking are genuinely seen as physically, spiritually and emotionally unattractive. Their tips will always be low. Fact of life. A stupid blonde woman with big boobs who gets your order wrong will proably average 25% on her tips, am I wrong? Again, arbitrary.
Personality gets in the way of the tip. A boring person will get a 10% tip while a “cool” white guy named Brad who refers to you as “bro” and “man” will probably see taht 20%. Arbitrary? yes
The price of labor is one of the smallest costs involved in commercial transactions. If servers were to make a living wage, the customer would probably notice an extremely small increase in price of their food and drinks. Especially at commercial chain restaurants where margins are even thinner. This is even taking into consideration senior waitstaff making a living wage. So don’t get into the menu price increasing if actual wages were paid.
http://cheadlesucks.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-tipping-sucks.html
“The current byzantine estimation process of service and food quality known as “tipping” is the opposite of a “magic eye” puzzle—the more you look at it, the less sense it makes. Waiters suffer when they give good service and they get stiffed; they don’t know how much they’re going to get paid for their service in advance, which is a pretty demeaning position. Customers suffer from having to deal with questions over who, how much, and whether to tip. Like war and segregation, tipping is a system that harms everyone who comes into contact with it. ” see above link for the reference
Restaurants do nothing but exhaust their staff members and their customers. Lately, our Entitled children of the Entitled States of America, the very same kids that were demanding $30 dollar VHS disney tapes are now SCOFFING everytime you pay less than 20%. Yes, 20%.
You say the restaurant busines model is opted for this? Then why do i not see this busines model reflected in my bill? Legally i’m not required to do anything. if you did construction work at your house for $100 dollars, you aren’t going to give the guy an extra $20 are you? He didn’t ask for you and you aren’t legally required to give it to him. If you boil it down, the guy probably had to have made no mroe than $3/hour. you still don’t tip him do you?
Look, waiters/waitresses. You guys are going to get tipped less and less nwo. people are waking up. You complaining will not help. Learn how to live with $2/hour if you decide to get into this business, otherwise UNIONIZE, STRIKE OR QUIT THE DARN JOB!!! It is not my responsibility to cater to your need, but it is YOUR responsibility to do as such. As the customer, I am always right. If i chose not to tip, I’m still right. I’m not legally requried to do so UNLESS your restaraunt has a tipping policy. IHOP has a tipping polic–anymore than 4 people have to tip. Gues what? I APPLAUD Ihop for removing the subjective nature of tipping and actually placing the tip on the bill. Why can’t OTHER restaurants follow? Is IHOP to below your standards? Are IHOP workers and patrons sub-human?
Tipping is arbitrary, frivolous. It has no place in a free market society. If thsi were the USSR, North Korea, Cuba, red party China or north Vietnam, then yes, tipping has a place in restaurants. Unfortunately for you guys, we live in a wonderful free land called the United States of America.
I’ve always found it hilarious that waiters expect/demand tips for doing a task that compared with MOST other jobs is unskilled. Like bhagwad said, you get paid to do the job. It’s not my responsibility to pay you anything extra.
For everyone saying “Maybe you should work in a restaurant and see how hard it is…”, OH PLEASE!!! Try working in the fields PICKING the fruit/vegetables in 100+ degree weather for hours, do you tip those farm workers 15% of the food cost!? No, you don’t. Try working in a slaughter house. Do you tip the workers or butcher 15% of the food cost!? No, you don’t. Try building a house or commercial building, did you tip the construction workers who built your house 15%!? No, you didn’t. Try welding on skyscrapers/aircraft/automobiles/bridges/machinery, have you ever tipped a welder 15% for something that they made!? No, you haven’t.
I never worked as a waiter because I knew I could make more money doing something else while I went to school. It was MY CHOICE. I decided to learn how to work on cars and TIG weld stainless steel and aluminum. The products we produced could cost anywhere from tens of thousands of dollars up to a few million depending on what particular equipment we were making. I didn’t get 15% of the bill for any piece of equipment I MADE, grinding , welding, operating dangerous machinery. I didn’t just pick it up at the shop and take it to the customer. And guess what? I NEVER BITCHED ABOUT IT! I got a paycheck for my hard work. I was not entitled to a “tip”. And if I were, I’d be fucking rich right now.
You don’t have a hard job so stop bitching about not getting paid enough and taking it out on others who don’t want to give you UNEARNED money! Think about what other jobs actually entail before saying yours is so hard.
Common sense, if you are replying to me, you are just rambling.
I’m not a waiter, never will be. I agree that arbitrary tipping system is stupid, I agree that food has a huge mark up (capitalism, bro) – so what?
My gripe with Bhagwad is his notion of even stepping into a restaurant in the first place if he is so against the tipping system.
Its very clear from the outset that waiters are expected to be tipped, its not some secret scam that you get trapped into. So with that in mind, you can decide before you even make a reservation whether you agree with their tipping policy or not. If you don’t – don’t go there! Simple!
In reply to Neil
I go to a restaurant for the food. To eat. Nothing else. It’s up to the restaurant to decide how they want to deliver my food to me. Either using a person, or using a conveyor belt. Either way, I pay what’s on the bill and nothing more. I pay as much attention to the waiter as I do to my spoons and forks. They’re implements the restaurant provides me to perform the service of eating.
In reply to Neil
Waiters are expected to tip? why? they created a status quo? In America, I thought we don’t have that! Its called freedom. If I’m not legally obliged to pay additional, don’t expect me to pay additional, that is it. Now you mention a tipping policy–there should be a CLEARLY stated tipping policy at restaraunts. Again, Ihop does this, so why can’t other restaraunts follow suit? Remove the ambiguity? Its too confusing man.
BTW Wolf–i couldn’t agree more. I actually worked in the juice industry. Believe me juice is messy and dirty when you are manufacturing it, but hey, i got the job done, that was it.
Bhagwad,
“I go to a restaurant for the food. To eat. Nothing else. It’s up to the restaurant to decide how they want to deliver my food to me.”
They have decided. They have decided to use waiters who you are expected to tip. That is their business model. When you choose to go to a restaurant that has waiters, you are opting into this business model. If you are against this model you shouldn’t give them *any* money!
Just as with a Hotel where you can’t decide that you don’t want any receptionist, any porters, any maids. – its part and parcel of how they operate. Not everything is an optional extra. There are plenty of alternatives to such hotels, just as there are alternatives to Restaurants who expect tips.
Common Sense,
“Waiters are expected to tip? why?”
I assume you mean “expected to be tipped”. You are tipping them for the service they provide. If you think that this service is superfluous, then simply don’t go to these restaurants. By sitting down in their restaurant you are accepting that you are ok with their tipping system. Just as sitting down at a shoe-shine chair (even if you say nothing) is an act of ordering a shoe-shine.
“Remove the ambiguity? Its too confusing man.”
Why not ask about their policy when you first arrive? If you decide you are against it, you can immediately leave their premises and no further time and effort will be wasted by either party. Better yet, call ahead and ask. Its common to read reviews of restaurants to avoid dissapointment, why not also research their tipping policy for the same reason?
In reply to Neil
“That is their business model.”
Let them bill me for it then.
“Just as with a Hotel where you can’t decide that you don’t want any receptionist, any porters, any maids.”
The hotel gives me a bill and I know the charges upfront. Without a bill, there is no obligation to pay. Please don’t compare legitimate businesses with the kind of rough bribery that waiters seem tow want.
“Why not ask about their policy when you first arrive?”
No restaurant will have a policy saying that you must tip the waiters.
In reply to Neil
Sorry Neil you are correct I meant expected to be tipped, not the former. Now let’s talk the law for a bit. California law along with other states clearly dictates that tipping is NOT required. An establishment, say Houston’s, that is in the State of California must abide by California law. UNLESS THE RESTAURANT CLEARLY STATES A TIPPING POLICY, I do not need to tip BY LAW!!! Commerce is regulated through the state and fed (ever hear of the FTC)? Unless California CLEARLY states I am by law required to pay a 15% gratuity, or if there is a clear gratuity policy such as IHop and other restaurants, don’t expect me to tip. I do ask their policy everytime I go to a restaurant. Most restaurants indicate to me that parties larger than 6 people add a gratuity fee. I’m fine with that. This is standard everywhere. If my wife and i go to a restaurant by ourselves, there is no official tipping policy at the restaurant (well most anyways), so by law we are not required to pay anything else other than what ie EXACTLY on the bill, which includes the food and the sales tax (here in california it is 7.25%). You are correct Neil in stating that once you sit down in a restaurant I am ok with their tipping system, however, this policy is ONLY enacted once a prequisite has been met. So If I went to IHOP with 4 people, the gratuity would be automatically placed on my bill, which i’m fine with. This is THEIR policy and it varies from establishment to establishment. I have yet to see ANY restaurant that AUTOMATICALLY charges a gratuity to all its patrons. This is policy. Bhagwad related this to a hotel “The hotel gives me a bill and I know the charges upfront. Without a bill, there is no obligation to pay. Please don’t compare legitimate businesses with the kind of rough bribery that waiters seem tow want.”
Remember Neil, policy and custom differ. I always ask before i enter an establishment waht the gratuity policy is. If I’m not expected to tip, then I won’t. This means that if it is not on my bill, then I won’t pay it. The bill between teh patron and establishment is the contract. The contract is the only portion that needs to be fulfilled. Anything else is OPTIONAL!!!!! So waiter/waitress receiving tipping is NOT REQUIRED UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED BY THE ESTABLISHMENT!!!!
Just an aside for everyone, the tipping “custom” also states that tipping is BEFORE taxes. So its 15% BEFORE the sales tax, just remember that.
I have commented before but I am still trying to understand what makes people so pro-tipping. I would just like to ask some of the people on this forum who support tipping ( “$2.13 an hour is all we make”, “if you can’t afford to tip, don’t go out to eat”, ” it is an American custom” etc.) :
1. Do you think the tipping system in place is a GOOD, equitable system? Because I don’t. I don’t think it’s fair to the customers who are guilted into tipping but more importantly I don’t think it’s fair to the employees. It’s pretty stressful if you think about it – because tipping is like Russian roulette – who knows if you’re going to be able to pay your bills this week? At least ensure a living wage! Not this ridiculous $2.13 an hour.The employers are definitely getting the best deal out of this system – and look, if you can afford to run a restaurant where costs are high (rent, utilities, supplies) you can definitely afford to pay your employees a living wage. I would infinitely prefer a restaurant that has a sign out front “No tipping allowed – because we pay our employees a decent wage :) “.
2. What if waiters were paid the actual minimum wage or higher by their employers ($8 or whatever it is in your state), and any tips would be on top of that? This is how it is in some places, Canada for instance, and also the state of California. Would you still say tipping is the “right thing to do”?
I’d also like to add that I have been to countries where there is no tipping culture – specifically South Korea, Singapore and Japan. The service there is about 900 times better than where I live (Canada) . I have also heard from others that tipping is non-existent in places like China & Hong Kong. Any “tipping” is in the form of a service charge that is specifically included in the bill. I am guessing here that commenters who say tipping = better service have only been to countries like France etc in Europe.
And I don’t disagree that Indians in general might tip less or not at all. There is no tipping culture in India either – and if you do choose to tip you just round up the amount on your bill. You’ll also find that Australians and New Zealanders don’t tip as much because there too only exceptional service is tip-worthy.
In reply to BBD-Lite
With regard to point 2, many here have emphatically stated that they don’t want a minimum wage by law since the tipping system allows them to earn far more than otherwise.
In reply to bhagwad
I don’t believe in minimum wage but due to more economical reasons than the tipping reason, but you’re correct Bhagwad that the reasons that the pro tip people don’t believe in minimum wage doesn’t have anything to do with market forces but rather their own personal gain at the loss of others.
BBD-Lite–although we do have a minimum wage set up in the US, employers should simply pay their employees what they are worth. Let’s face it, waiting tables is not necessarily worth say $15/hour. Perhaps they are receivign their worth value that is it. In any case, employers should be paying their employees fair wages. At the same time, the waiters who are employed by these restaurants agreed to the wage, so they should not take it out on the very people that pay the restaurant. Basically “don’t bite the hand that feeds.”
I think service outside of the US is FOLDS BETTER!! In India, the wait staff wait on you hand and foot, without expecting a tip. Europe (with the exception of some French) is also excellent. The British wait staff are incredible compared to Americans.
“good service” in itself is arbitray I know, but the customer should feel satisfied. I think with the “fake” friendliness here in the US, i feel suffocated and I can’t just sit back and enjoy my pasta or something. It seems that the entitlement of a lot of these kids forces them to be uber friendly.
Another difference, we’re now living in the Entitled States of America where EVERYONE is Entitled to whatever they WANT, not deserve or earn. Waiters used to expecte a 10% tip, now its 20%. Soon it will be 30%. So if i go out and spend $100 on dinner, i’d have to give the waiter $30 of my hard earned cash. That’s not just.
“Let them bill me for it then.”
If its a customer-defined tip, they can’t bill for it. If you are so against the tipping system, why do you go to places that subject you to it? You want the food, with no-frills waiting and no obligation to tip, correct? Well if that’s not what they offer, don’t go in there expecting it.
Let me ask you this – when you eat out, do you pay extra for the spoons and forks and the table cloth? Why not? Because they’re necessary for you to eat the food for which you pay.
Waiters are just another service provided by the restaurant to allow you to eat. They’re like tables and chairs. Their cost is included in the bill by the restaurant. Unless explicitly specified otherwise.
“Let me ask you this – when you eat out, do you pay extra for the spoons and forks and the table cloth? Why not? Because they’re necessary for you to eat the food for which you pay.”
If paying additionally for cutlery was a common and expected part of eating out in restaurants, anyone who disagrees with that practice could choose not eat at those restaurant.
Anyone who does not agree with expectation of tipping should not eat at those restaurants.
In reply to Neil
I’m sure the price of cutlery is included in the bill. The price of waiters is included as well. Are you saying the restaurants don’t pay them?
I don’t believe in unwritten “expectations”. Either something is written somewhere and made clear. Or not. I come to enjoy my food, not to wrack my head unnecessarily bothering about waiters.
In reply to bhagwad
Obviously the bill includes the cost of operating the restaurant, but do you understand how weak your argument really is that “if $2.13/hr (the american federal minimum cash wage for tipped employees, which means anyone who earns more than $30/month in tips) isn’t enough, they should get a different job?”
If restaurant owners paid their employees a living wage, which would be far more than $2.13/hr, their operating costs would skyrocket. If their operating costs went up that drastically, their options would be to either serve substantially worse products with no variety, or charge you, the customer, more money. It could pretty easily be the difference between a $15 meal and that same meal costing you $18 (equal to a 20% tip), or more.
The way the restaurant system works, yes, servers are paid poorly, which causes the cost of entrees and drinks to be lower than if they were paid what they deserve. Within that system, the customer is expected to pick up the rest of what the server deserves. Sure, if the service sucks, tip poorly. If it’s horrible, don’t tip at all. If they are efficient, helpful, and friendly, and you’re such a selfish prick that you can’t look at that human being, know that they make very little money, and say “thanks for doing a job that is systemically based on me giving you a couple bucks, but I’m not going to because I’m a dick,” well, I don’t know. I guess just keep being an asshole.
Furthermore, there is absolutely no way anyone has ever said to you “if you don’t tip me I’m going to spit in your food.” That is absolute bullshit. You know it, I know it, anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant knows it. You’re so aware of how wrong your perspective is that you’re willing to resort to an absurd straw-man for your third point.
Whatadick.
In reply to uh…nope
“or charge you, the customer, more money.”
Please do. I don’t mind paying if I’m billed for it.
“Furthermore, there is absolutely no way anyone has ever said to you “if you don’t tip me I’m going to spit in your food.””
You haven’t been reading the comments here have you?