It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
“Read the comments here to find out what waiters have to say about tipping. I’m sure you’ll find it enlightening.”
A waiters opinion on a message board is not the same thing as their behaviour when serving you in a restaurant. When you go to a restaurant you are paying for professionalism, when you go to the internet you get un-filtered thoughts and emotions. Whatever unpleasant feelings they are harbouring, unless they actually express these feeling to you in some way, it has no effect your experience.
“Are you seriously claiming after all this time that waiters don’t want you to tip them?”
Its not the “want” that is in question, its their behavior towards you that I’m interested in. When you are waited on in a restaurant it doesn’t matter what they want, it only matters how they treat you.
““I stand by my values by resisting the waiter’s attempts to squeeze money out of me”.”
So in your experience, what are they doing/saying that you need to resist? You still haven’t answered that question.
“A waiters opinion on a message board is not the same thing as their behaviour when serving you in a restaurant.”
And when I’m in a restaurant, I behave exactly the way I always do. I’m not rude or impolite. So what’s the problem here? This is all over the Internet and has really nothing to do with how anyone actually behaves in an actual restaurant.
Of course, I won’t tip them, but you’ve probably figured that out by now.
“I stand by my values by resisting the waiter’s attempts to squeeze money out of me””
How about I change the word “attempts” to “expectations”?
Just so you know, Most decent minded servers in the U.S. will not openly bitch and moan about not receiving a good tip, they’ll just be offended. I’m not even a waitress, just a busgirl…but when I see a waiter or waitress get verbally abused, monopolized, and/or generally mistreated by a table but is still desperately running around like crazy with a huge smile on their face in the middle of a busy night to try to give good service to a rude table and end up with a 5% tip …that’s just not right. Sure, I don’t agree with the fact that I make $3.75 an hour and after I claim my tip-outs from the waiters my weekly check rarely even reaches a whole dollar…but the fact is if all of the servers were paid an hourly wage that reflected the work they do, you’d be paying twice as much for your food. We don’t have the authority (or the right) to demand that kind of change when it would affect all aspects of the restaurant and its employees.
Also, if you (the author of this article) have the gall to look down your nose at the people doing their best to make sure you have a pleasant experience and refer to them as “nothing more than conveyer belts” what kind of person does that make you?
You seem to be from the U.K….if I’m wrong, please correct me, but you’re clearly not from the U.S.A. and I think I speak for all people that you seem to think are “beneath you” when I say keep your condescending bullshit in your own country, it’s not welcome here.
I can understand your defiance at leaving an exorbitant tip, or even giving an awful tip to a waiter that truly didn’t deserve it, but there’s no reason to shit on people that are trying to make an honest living. If you don’t want to tip, don’t eat out in the U.S… nobody is forcing you to eat out, much less so if all you want to do is complain about it.
Ok Bhagwad, thank you clarifying that waiters are not actually harassing you for tips, its just that they have certain expectations. Completely understandable expectations since its quite rare for someone to leave no tip at all.
So..since you have clarified that part, where does the “emotional blackmail” part come in? You said “Cause I like the food? Why should I deprive myself of that just because of emotional blackmail by waiters?”. What are they doing that constitutes emotional blackmail? Do you need to change some words in that sentence too?
In reply to Neil
I’ve already told you that this is based on what people like you and waiters say outside the restaurant. The emotional blackmail is implicit and perpetuated by individuals who justify the expectation of unearned income.
Are you going to address the real issue of why you think tips are good or are you keen on sidestepping the issue as much as possible with these side tactics?
Please keep in mind what my post is about – tipping is good/tipping is bad.
If you want to discuss something else, I suggest you find another forum as an outlet. This is not the place.
In reply to Neil
Neil, im with you….as owner of a franchise I encourage my wait staff to be neutral in there service and give the patrons the best service possible. And, just for conversations sake, we have also risen the wage of waiters to almost $4.75 cents per hour. So the gap is actually closing a little between minimum wage and those serving tables. It does lessen the stress of having to “earn” tips and deal with individuals who do not accept tipping culture. My problem is not with the act of not tipping by bhagwad, it is the attitude of dehuminzing that actually offends me. Emotion, ethics, morals or thoughts are totally different than not leaving a few bucks. If you dont want to leave a tip, dont. As simple as that. For me as a franchisee to impose a service fee upon you for service is a great suggestion. With that being said, I have seen some restaraunts engage in this technique. For the most part the reactions are fairly unfavorable…..but if this is what the people start demanding, we will eventually work it into the system, and tipping as we know it will be a thing of the past. My only fear is that the reprecussion would be that patrons will dispise the fact that they are then “forced” to leave a tip in the form of paying a service fee instead of leaving one on their own accord.
This is such troll bullshit and why Europeans should stay the fuck in their countries….not to mention how many if them come here and end up working as waiters….
In reply to fuck off
Good job not saying a SINGLE thing that has to do with the topic at hand. You’re an uneducated, brainwashed buffoon, who thinks that people owe you extra money just for doing your job. I do my job in the back of the house, why do I not get tips? Here’s one that’s even closer to home: I interact with the customer more than the servers do, and do not get any tips. I LITERALLY just saw a server at my job walk out with over 450$, and they worked a 5 hour shift. Guess how much of that in tips they claimed? The very minimum in order to claim minimum wage, and kept the rest as pure, un-taxed profit in their greedy, disgusting drug-infected lives. You know why I don’t tip? Those nasty, disgusting whores mostly use it for drugs and to pay child support, which I’ve never heard the end of. An actual conversation at my job almost a year ago: “I cannot WAIT until I leave tonight, I’ve gotten almost 200 in tips so far, and that’ll finish off the rest of my debt to my dealer! I can also get another gram if I can convince him to let me pay him later.” – trash at it’s finest AKA the majority of waitresses/waiters.
In reply to Zachary Tillery
I’m sorry, but you’re clearly the uneducated buffoon, Zachary. And you’re horrible at lying. I’m going to assume that you don’t even work in a restaurant and you’re just making shit up to defend being cheap. But, if you’re not lying, and you do work in the restaurant in the back of the house, you’re still a liar. You definitely don’t interact with the customers more than the servers do. There is just no way. I was an assistant manager at a sports bar, and my servers and bartenders definitely interacted with the customers more than anyone. That includes the hosts, the bussers, the bar backs, the cashiers, the cooks, me, the manager, the owner, everyone.
You know damn well why you don’t get any tips. One, you’re not the one waiting on these people hand and foot, so what do they need to tip you for? Two, you obviously make at least minimum wage and don’t need it. If you don’t, then report your job to the Better Business Bureau because that is illegal.
Yeah, some servers don’t claim all their tips, but others do. Stop making generalizations. You’ve haven’t met every server in the world. It sounds like you’ve hardly met any at all. Most of my servers were college kids who were trying to pay tuition. I hardly doubt that all of the servers in the “restaurant” you work in are like that. I had a few druggie servers in the past, but obviously I fired them. They were incompetent. It’s not easy to be a server, and you can’t do it when you’re doped up.
As for child support, so what? If they actually abandoned their child in its mother’s time of need, that’s horrible. But they still need to pay child support. It better for the mother and the baby if they do that instead of go to jail. Then the mother gets no money at all. If the couple broke up for reasons other than the baby and the court ordered that he pay child support, that’s no reason to look down on him.
As for that conversation, I’m going to call bullshit. It just sounds fake. But if it’s true, then yes they’re trash. But they doesn’t speak for all servers. She speaks for a very small portion of them. You should know that. I was mugged by three black teenagers last year. Do I think all black teenagers are low life thieves? Of course not, because I don’t make generalizations.
In reply to …What?
You’ve beaten yourself with your own argument. I work at Ryans Buffet and Bakery. I cook unlimited steaks for customers, interacting with them MORE than the servers in their section, and will often come and communicate with the server after I’ve brought them their steak. I don’t get tips because it’s not a cultural thing, even though I make the customer want to come back, NOT the greedy, money hungry server in her section. You’re an idiot if you think it’s not possible to pull 2k a night in tips.
In reply to Zachary Tillery
Zachary–i clicked on your link and saw the website. All i can say is “STANDING UP WITH AWE AND CLAPPING!!!” i cannot believe there are more people that are not suckers to the restaurant mafia.
The 2.13 thing is just lame. I mean I’ve been arguing this the entire board. I really don’t care what you make, give me my food. Your wages are not my concern as a patron of your restaurant. Take it up with your employer, not me. If the prices at restaurants “skyrocket,” i’ll still come. So will most others. The market always balances itself out. People still purchase gas when the prices skyrocket don’t they? People still purchase luxury items when the prices skyrocket don’t they? The market in a free capitalist society ALWAYS balances itself out.
Thank you zachary, i cried when i saw your website, hahahaha.
BTW how come a large breasted waitress who has terrible service always averages 20-25% tips while a fat unattractive waitress who provides EXCELLENT service only recieves 5-10% tips? Aren’t they both making 2.13/hour? Seems a little unfair doesn’t it? Oh that is right, life isn’t fair.
“I’ve already told you that this is based on what people like you and waiters say outside the restaurant. The emotional blackmail is implicit and perpetuated by individuals who justify the expectation of unearned income.”
You cannot take comments made here as representative of waiters in real life. Only the most passionately against you will bother to comment, people who are neutral or agree with you are much less likely to comment – just as with any topic of discussion.
To lay my cards on the table, I tip, but not excessively. I would tip less for bad service. I’ve never been treated so badly that I leave no tip. I don’t really eat out enough for it to be a financial burden. I’m sorry if you just wanted a black and white, for/against argument, but this topic was filed under “philosophy” so you should expect more angles of discussion.
The logic in your original post is sound enough, however I think to truly stand by your values you shouldn’t participate in restaurants that expect or accept tips from customers.
You keep saying you just want the food, you don’t want the waiters. Can’t you see that this isn’t something that these places are offering – its all part and parcel of their business. Obviously there are enough people that want the full waiter service that its become a standard feature, not an optional extra. You want to be billed for a waiter’s service, again, this isn’t something that they provide, so stop expecting it!
In reply to Neil
“You cannot take comments made here as representative of waiters in real life.”
You actually mean that waiters in real life do not expect me to tip them and that they won’t be pissed if I leave nothing? I don’t believe that.
“Can’t you see that this isn’t something that these places are offering”
Then why can’t they at least mention what they’re offering exactly either on their website or as a notice on their door? The fact that they don’t have it means it’s not official policy.
“You actually mean that waiters in real life do not expect me to tip them and that they won’t be pissed if I leave nothing? I don’t believe that.”
The majority of customers tip, so yeah they would expect them. Being “Pissed” about it would be an overreaction though!
“Then why can’t they at least mention what they’re offering exactly either on their website or as a notice on their door? The fact that they don’t have it means it’s not official policy.”
They probably don’t see a need to. If enough customers complained about it they probably would.
Apparently a lot has happened during my absense, so I will just add a couple of things here:
1: why can’t the wait staff just ACCEPT 2.13/hour? Again, your wage is not my problem. Why can’t you negotiate for higher wages? We live in a free market society, so why can’t you just find a better job?
2: why can’t workers demand for higher wages, ie unionize, strike or quit the darn job?
3: I AM NOT LEGALLY OBLIGED TO PAY ANYTHING EXCEPT WHAT IS ON THE BILL!!! I don’t care about what is “expected” of me. This it the United States of America. It is expected of all of you to allow me to live with liberty and freedom. THis includes my choice of not paying anything than what I additionally am required to do so. So why should I tip if I am not obligated to do so? Again, if you argue humanistic reasons, that is fine, but humanism has no true place in capitalism.
4: Neil–can you just argue some legal ramifications? You are arguing expectations etc. In the healthcare industry, patients are expected to shut the f.. up and listen to the damn doctor. I don’t know if you have visited an ER, but trust me, that never happens. Just as an example, the sheer volume of morbidly obese people in the US tells you that Americans are not following what is “expected” of them from their healthcare professionals. So why can one industry receive its “expectations” while the other cannot? Bias? Prejudice? One sidedness?
5: Also Neil, you argue that most customers pay their tips. Are you creating a STATIC assumption? Remember, in America, this cannot work. Nothing is Static. It is all relative. For example, some can live just fine with $1/hour while others cannot live on less than 100k. Relative. A lot of thing are expected in Amerca and are normal. Americans are promiscuous cmpared to the rest of the world, while AMericans expect each other to have had at least 3-4 sexual partners, sad but true. So lets not get into “expectations” and “social norms.” This is business. Stick to business arguments and leave the personal expectations at the door.
Tipping is stressful. Everyone at the end of the day gets mad. I am mad as a customers for having to pay the wait staff’s wages. The wait staff is pissed at me for not paying enough (i guess 20% is now not enough anymore). Neil is mad because his point is not coming across most of us. See what this is doing to us? Tipping just makes for bad business.
BTW i saw that someone is paying their employees about 4.50? That is fine if you and the employee agree to it. They have no right to complain if they have agreed previously. As a free American I believe we should abolish wage laws, but that’s another topic of discussion.
Lesson to all yall 20 some year old kids? Got low wages? live with it. You agreed to it. You accepted the wage on the condition that you MAY OR MAY NOT receive tips. So please do not complain. You accepted the position and YOU ARE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO DO YOUR JOB. I am NOT CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO PAY YOUR TIP UNLESS THE RESTAURANT HAS A TIPPING POLICY (15% for parties larger than 4 etc.). All state law indicates that tipping is optional. I’ll tip whatever I want whenever I want however I want. I am a free American. I don’t want to live under your dictatorial oppression.
btw Mr. Pink’s opinion is EXACTLY how people who are not suckered into the tipping system feel.
“see this here? this is the world’s smallest violen…”
And thats why you’re just a cheap paki that’s not liked anywhere in the world .. Go back to india you cheap fuck … You’re the problem with this world
In reply to James
Once again, a dumbass troglodyte who likes to stick to customs without any reason to believe what they believe. You made no reasonable argument, nor do you have one. Your argument is invalid, and I hope one day…just one day…you’ll learn to have common sense. Have a nice life being completely oblivious and ignorant.