It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
James–I am an American. if you are an employee and receive only 2.13/hour, your employer is teh cheap f…
get out of here James. Leave America. You are against Freedom of Speech and liberty, something I as an American fought for and am proud of.
If i don’t want to tip, that’s up to me. BTW here in california, wait staff make minimum wage, before tips. There is no reason for me, especially here in Cali to tip.
Get out of my country James. You sound like a fundamentalist that wants to oppress free speech. You sound like the problem with this world. You make yourself seem like some sort of dictator repressing free speech.
In reply to Common Sense
correction–your employer is the cheap f…
“Neil–can you just argue some legal ramifications? You are arguing expectations etc.”
Its a philosophical debate, not a legal one. You talk about being “Stressed” with tipping, so lets talk about your state of mind. Thats what interests me the most.
“Also Neil, you argue that most customers pay their tips. Are you creating a STATIC assumption Nothing is Static. It is all relative. For example, some can live just fine with $1/hour while others cannot live on less than 100k.”
Tipping is not static either. Its relative to the bill, which is relative to the standard of the restaurant, which is relative to the wealth of the customers who frequent them. Customers who can’t afford to tip should find somewhere cheaper, or prepare their own food. As you have said yourself, the mark-up on food alone is often extortionate. If money is tight you will save more than the cost of a tip by avoiding such places.
“Tipping just makes for bad business.”
Do you mean to say a bad customer experience? Calling it “bad business” suggests it makes them less money.
“Got low wages? live with it. You agreed to it. You accepted”
This is my attitude on tipping too. You don’t like the tipping? You already agreed to it, you already accepted it, you walked through their door, you asked for a table.
“I am a free American. I don’t want to live under your dictatorial oppression.”
You are willingly entering their premises of your own free will. If they are making you feel oppressed, you should boycott them completely!
Again Neil, you are arguing social ramifications. I am not legally bound to tip, period, unless the restaurant carries some sort of gratuity policy. Lots of Chinese places I go to automatically add a 15% gratuity. This is clearly stated on their menus that all bills will also contain an additonal 15% gratuity, which I’m FINE with. Ihope does this as well. You are correct in the sense that tipping is relative, yet why is it statically set to 15%? Again, why can’t we go back to the old 10% of the 80s or the spare change of the 70s? Who makes these rules? Don’t tell me society. Why should we follow societal rules? Are they always correct? I hate to break it to you, but sometimes society and fashionable norms can be a dreadful think. You might want to look up a little old country called Germany and see what their societal norms were during the late 30s and early to mid 40s.
If I walk into an establishment, I am only required to pay the bill and the sales tax, that is it. Again, a clear indication of the gratuity should be added. Most restaurants do this for parties greater than 6 people. Ihope goes with 4 people. Chinese restaurants are usually automatic. Again, nothign wrong with that. So why is the pressure on ME to tip? Listen, I am a free American, you are correct. This is why I’m only goin to pay what is required of me, that is it.
BTW have you guys seen reservoir dogs? Mr. Pink pretty much outlines EXACTLY how the tipping system is.
BTW yes tipping does make for bad business. You are placing the responsibility of the well being of the EMPLOYEES directly upon the CONSUMER RATHER THAN THE EMPLOYER. The employer ends up pocketing much more than the employee. Its unfair. But again life is unfair, so deal with it.
Again, these are all SOCIAL aspects and HUMANISTIC aspects, but in business and free market enterprise, no such ideals exist.
Neil, your arguments are actually favoring my point of view towards tipping.
I still would like to know HOW i agreed to tipping? Is it LEGALLY required upon me? no. The sales tax is. The actual fee for the food is. The tip, however is not required. Put it into perspective. Auto insurance is legally mandatory. Driving under the speed limit is legally mandatory. Gratuities, unless the restaurant dispalys a SPECIFIC gratuity policy, is not required. Please see state law. That is how it is here in california and the rest of our fine nation.
Let me tell you also, our country is about revolution as well. I am slowly seeing people who are getting fed up with the tipping system and are no longer tipping. This is similar to what the patriots back in the day did, or what our brothers were dealing with discrimination.
BTW, why would I tip california wait staff if they already make minimum wage?
OK i want to end with this–i’m going to repeat myself–TIPS ARE NOT LEGALLY OBLIGATED UPON CUSTOMERS UNLESS THERE IS A SPECIFIC TIPPIGN POLICY.
BTW you are correct- it is a philosophical debate. But in a free market society, we look at real numbers and real market forces. let the art majors (who are most likely unemployed) deal with the philosophy. Most Westerners lack the sense of morality that the rest of the world holds anyways, so again, its all arbitrary.
Bhagwad you really must not have a life, to be able to respond to all these comments lol. You seriously make me laugh!! Same with common sense i love how he backs you up in everything, get married you two!! Have a wonderful day, oh and remember STAY HOME and cook its cheaper ;) !
It’s about culture, you idiot.
If you don’t like to tip, don’t go to restaurants or coffes, just go to a McDonald’s or BUrger King
or back to your country :)
Angela–it seems that you have run into the wall in terms of your arguments, as you have gone off subject and interjected with your comment. Again, please come up with something constructive.
Joe–again, culture does not reflect how a free market society works. Now in terms of American liberty and free markets, if something is not required, then i’m not required to pay a cent extra. American liberty is…the CULTURE!!!!!!! Uh-oh, two conflicting idealogies???? Now what?
JOE–again, get out of my FREE country if you won’t allow me to freely practice my liberty and my free market rights!!!! My brothers and I fought hard for this country’s freedoms so I will follow the law and that is it. Cultures vary from place to place, however the law remains intact throughout the land. This is our governing force. i’m not going to let a bunch of whiny teenage kids who are unnecessarily entitled and have not seen the real world con me into paying something that, quite frankly, is arbitrary and unnecessary. I’m going to patronize the restaurants freely and not tip unless a tipping policy is clearly stated. If you go to many theme parks that have dine in restaurants, they enact an 18% gratuity for parties of 6 or greater.
Common sense – When you pose a question, you should wait for our answers and respond to that instead of assuming what our views will be and going off on a tangent about Germany or some other nonsense. That’s just straw man debate tactics.
Also, excessive capitalization and exclaimation marks are obnoxious. Let your WORDS do the TALKING, not your PUNCTUATION!!!!!! (see what i mean?)
Anyway..
“You are correct in the sense that tipping is relative, yet why is it statically set to 15%?”
Well if the percentage really is “static” then there is no practical difference between paying that and paying an automatic gratuity. If 15% is such common and well-known thing then customers will be entering the restaurant with the correct expectations.
“I still would like to know HOW i agreed to tipping”
Like I say, you agree to it by entering the restaurant, sitting down and ordering something. If you disagree, you should stay away.
“BTW yes tipping does make for bad business. You are placing the responsibility of the well being of the EMPLOYEES directly upon the CONSUMER RATHER THAN THE EMPLOYER. The employer ends up pocketing much more than the employee. Its unfair. But again life is unfair, so deal with it”
If they make a profit, its not “bad for business”. Business is money, not fairness and well-being. Restaurant owners will get paid more than their waiters regardless of whatever tipping system is in place. What is your point here?
In reply to Neil
“You agree to it by entering the restaurant, sitting down and ordering something.”
You say this very often, but I’m yet to see you offer some proof of this. When I sit down at a restaurant, I agree to no such thing. It’d be nice to see some substantiation of this claim of yours.
In reply to bhagwad
I do agree with you Bhagwad there really is no agreement made upon entering the premises. Again Neil is arguing more cultural ramifications than actual legal ramifications. In free market societies, social aspects are put aside and only legal ramfications are followed. Please see my example on the shirtless man below for better perspective. There is no LAW stating that by entering ALL restaraunts you agree to automatically tipping 15%. Again, if you enter a restaurant, and the entrance, menu or somewhere else on the menu states that a 15%, 18%, 23% or whatever gratuity will be added to your bill, then yes, you agreed to the contract. Some sort of statement however has to have been made (again, teh no shoes, no shirt no service rule i clearly outlined below).
I want to bring up another point. People say that tips make up the difference for minimum wage. In washington, everyone makes 8.67/hour, no matter who. Does that mean that tipping is completely not required in Washington?
If we want to speak regarding abitrary, let me ask this. Everyone here agrees that a person who is doing a good job deservs a 15% tip. But is there a standard as to what a good waiter or waitress is? What if my standards are much higher than Neil’s, who are higher than Bhagwad’s who are higher than Angela’s and so on and so forth? What if I refuse to tip based on the waiter not smiling? Hey its discretionary right? Then can’t I make my decision in a discretionary manner?
This is what is wrong with an arbitrary “server/patron” relationship. Washington state and California have it right by paying their wait staff what is necessary (however, again, minimum wage is bull crap, pardon my language, and it has no place in a capitalist society).
Again, wait staff, the system itself is not standardized. The custom may be standard, however at the legal basis, there is no standard method of tipping. Therefore, I can tip (or not tip) however I want and you have no right to say anything. It is my money, I can spend it however I please and unless there is something clearly stated on my receipt, then you have to right to take it from me. There is nothing legally binding for you to take a tip money, and Neil I apologize in advanced for the caps, BUT EVEN IF I ENTER A RESTAURANT, I AM NOT LEGALLY OBLIGATED TO PAY A TIP unless there is a service charge that is stated somewhere either on the menu or on the premises of the restaurant.
Put the social and expected and customary stuff on the side. This is America, a capitalist nation that prides itself on Economic Liberty and justice. laws are in place in order to create some sort of standard. When you are driving, do you stop at a red light simply because “it is customary?” no.
Neil, you are actually the most competent pro tip person on this board I have to say first off, so let me tip my hat off to you.
Point taken about the CAPS!! I WILL LET THE WORDS DO THE TALKING. LOL. I was trying to attempt to draw some parallels that people tend to take home. I thoroughly painting a picture with other relevant information makes for good conversation, this is just me. Lets just say we agree to disagree.
Anywho, restaurants need one of either two things, accordign to your post: A culture change. Again remember cultures change, sometimes quickly and sometiems slowly. If it is the “american culture” to tip, then the fact that it is a cultural experience will almost gurantee that there will be those that do not follow the culture. IE in many countries, it is already that a small minority will not follow the status quo. You cannot gurantee 100% of a population to follow a status quo.
Secondly: either pay your wages more fairly or add an automatic gratuity to the bill. Automatic gratuities seem incredibly fair. You cannot say that you have to pay (i was going to capitalize the have, but I showed some restarint) to pay a tip if it is not on the bill. Again, i’m speaking stricly on the legal basis of tipping. let me put it this way. A man is legally allowed to walk around in most cities without his shirt, however, many establishments stricly state on their windows/doors “no shoes, no shirt, no service.” So again, both legal requirements have been met. The man can legally walk around the city without his shirt, but restaurants, libraries, etc., display clearly on their windows as such. It is culturally frowned upon in the united states for a man (and woman) to walk around without a shirt (Actually it is forbidden in the united states for a woman to walk around without a shirt). no such indications or warnings are displayed on restaurants ie no tip, no shirt, no shoes, no service. Essentially I am following my half of the contract legally by paying exactly what was on the bill. here in cailfornia, that is the sales tax (8.75 in LA county) and the actual bill. If there is a party larger than 6, the gratuity is usually added but not always, which is fine.
Now let me ask you this. Many ethnic restauranst pay their staff minimum wage. They do not expect tips. If you are arguing that I agree to a tip when I walk into an establishment (that agreement is not accepted by law as it is not a required form of payment, see california law), then doesn’t that already contradict this static rule of tipping in restaurants? They don’t tell you obviously NOT to tip (sorry i needed to capitalize for emphasis) because who would turn away free money? However the general rules with many ethnic restaurants is you really don’t need to tip due to the staff already beign paid at minimum wage.
There are a lot of social aspects that Americans simply do not follow and sometimes social values and ideaologies can be bad.
This is where liberty comes in. If you want to tip, great tip. If not, then don’t. I thoroughly do not believe in restaurant tipping. The system is flawed and in a free market society, unless there is a mandatory payment I am required to pay on my behalf of the contract, I will not pay it, simple as that. The system needs some changing, and I am doing my part to start the wheels of that change, which is exactly why I comment on thsi website so much.
Again Neil, I 100% disagree with your views on tipping, however you seem like an incredibly mature person so as a human being, I commend you. If I offended you in any way please forgive me, unless my tipping views offend you. That I cannot change lol.
BTW legally, if a restaurant says we add a 30% tip to all patrons, I have no probelm with this. Sure the number is arbitrary, however the fact that the establishment stated they will add such a tip allows them to legally do so. When a customer sees this, he is legally required to follow through.
Theme park sit down restaurants (Knotts berry farm comes to mind) add an 18% gratuity to all parties with 6 people or more. Again I have no issue with this at all because this is something that I the patron am legally required to follow through. However, if the restaurant has no legal clearance of tipping and have not stated anywhere in the premises (all you need for a tipping policy is some sort of statement on the premises of the stablishment ie the door, the windows, the menu, where the hostess stands etc.), then I won’t tip simple as that.