It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
You don’t tip because you’re an asshole.
In reply to Philip Hart
You have saddened me Phlip Hart. My soul has been incredibly affected by your insult, as you are the absolute authority when it comes to determining who is an a–hole and who is not. You are the annointed one, chosen to lead all of mankind to the rapture, while leaving the rest to rot as a–holes. You, and no one else, determines who is an a–hole.
I DO NOT believe in tipping! I live in Canada, born and raised..So yes I’m part of the “North American” culture. I go to pizza hut alot and a medium pizza 1 topping is $14.99 + $1.50 for one pop and + 0.75 for a Garlic Dipping sauce…now all that adds up to:$17.24 before taxes….now with our 0.13% tax it comes up to $19.48 – is that not EXPENSIVE FOR SOMEONE JUST WANTING TO DINE OUT? and that is just me alone…treating my self out to a meal almost 20 dollars!
Then we have that little greedy waiteress expecting a good $5.00 tip! Well i pay for my food and leave…why do you think that its $19.48 for my meal? because in that price i pay to sit in the restaurant, the plate i used, the food i ate, th e company, manager, staff, oh yes and the waiter…oh and lets not forget the cook that actually made the food!
So no one thinks of the customer struggling to get by in life, and all she wants is a treat out a dine in with out a begger! NOW FOR YOU PEOPLE TELLING US TO STAY HOME..YOU WOULD RATHER HAVE YOUR COMPANY LOOSE BUSINESS BECAUSE YOU WANT A TIP. I have personally spoken to the manager at pizza hut and a Girl was fired because of what she did! The manager told me that by no means is she to ASK YOU FOR A TIP IT IS OPTIONAL he did write her up for it..but she did it 3 weeks later to another customer saying there was a 4 dollar surcharge to sit and eat..she was FIRED! The business WANTS US “CHEAPSKATES” AS YOU PUT IT IN THE RESTAURANTS! WHY? SIMPLE WE ARE STILL BRINGING IN MONEY WHICH NO ONE MENTIONED IN THE OTHER POSTINGS…ME NOT TIPPING DOESN’T MATTER TO THE RESTAURANTS I EAT IN BUT IT ONLY MATTERS TO THE SERVERS! SO DO NOT TELL ME TO STAY HOME, TELLING ME TO STAY HOME MEANS LESS HOURS FOR YOU AT WORK! TRUST ME!
It is us that come in spend 20 dollars for 1 person and or 30 to 40 dollars for 2 people for a fun night out – HR likes and wants us there in that restaurant! We are spending big bucks too, i eat out once a week and i don’t tip…if i did tip i wouldn’t be able to afford to eat out 1 time a week. I worked in retail no one tipped or commissioned me anything! I had it harder standing on my feet for 11 to 12 hour days and climbing ladders like a fucking monkey and running around like a chicken without a head…you get a little less then minimum wage, but end up making more than some office worker at the end of the year – there is always a rich idiot that tips $15.00 or more on you! So don’t cry!
Now realize this you still need to serve, and be kind cause if you don’t I will just bring it up to your boss and or management…they realize i’m still a paying customer $19.48 for 1 person to eat at pizza hut is alot!
Oh yes i can’t stand tipping its not just the bloody restaurants its, the hotel man that opens the door, the person that cuts your hair, the mover, the cabbie etc..i’d go broke…i believe in only paying for the service! That is my believe and thats that…all else is not my problem! Remember i am still paying DON’T TELL ME TO FUCKING STAY HOME WHEN I AM STILL KEEPING YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS RUNNING!
Bhagwad –
” When I sit down at a restaurant, I agree to no such thing. It’d be nice to see some substantiation of this claim of yours.”
The act of sitting down in the restaurant is similiar to the act of hailing a cab, sitting at a shoe-shine chair or bidding in an auction. No written contract, just a simple gesture that tells the worker you require their services. If you don’t agree with tipping, stay away. Don’t waste their time.
Common Sense –
“Anywho, restaurants need one of either two things…”
Why do they need to do anything? You just are listing things that you want to see changed because that fits your own idealogy. What’s in it for the restaurant owners?
” man is legally allowed to walk around in most cities without his shirt, however, many establishments stricly state on their windows/doors “no shoes, no shirt, no service.” So again, both legal requirements have been met”
I dont think they are *legally* required to have a dress code sign. Its just a courtesy. I think the law only protects customers against racial or religious discrimination.
“This is where liberty comes in”
Its not about freedom or liberty. You are not being oppressed. You are choosing to go to the restaurant.
In reply to Neil
“The act of sitting down in the restaurant is similiar to the act of hailing a cab, sitting at a shoe-shine chair or bidding in an auction.”
Certainly not. When I don’t tip a waiter, no one can prosecute me. even if I openly admit it. You can’t get away with paying nothing to a cab driver or even bidding in an auction. You can be penalized for those. See the difference?
Moreover, even cab drivers give me a bill. What does a waiter give me? Nothing. The day waiters start billing me for their services just like cab drivers is the day I will pay tips. Till then, don’t pretend that the two are remotely similar.
Your attempt to display an equivalence between tipping wait staff and paying for other services is extremely insufficient.
In reply to bhagwad
True, but please do not pretend to be a paragon of logic.
Your logic was self-refuting, elitist, and entitled. However, I especially loved number three.
“3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?”
Did you need five reasons and have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for this trash? How would one know if you are not going to tip. Either you can tell them to begin with, or you can be as rude as possible. If you can manage to act like a decent human being for the 10 seconds they check in on you, the waiter is completely in the dark about what the tip will be. The cliche of spitting in someone’s food is not about tipping, it’s about customers behaving poorly and upsetting the wait staff. This cliche extends into all areas of business. There is always a way in which people can be punished for their actions, but people seem to be most viscerally upset by this.
Granted, with the attitude you have revealed in this post and your comments, the decent human being bit might be a stretch.
Your attempt to find even five reasons to justify your act of punishing the innocent waiter is extremely insufficient.
In reply to Neil
I’ve sat by and watching you go absolutely ape shit about tipping, but the comment “If you don’t agree with tipping, stay away. Don’t waste their time.” is the final straw. You are so caught up in giving fucking retards, like yourself, extra money for doing their ALREADY PAID job, that you forget that it is optional. Why the FUCK would I tip some guy to shine my shoes? In the same sense, why should I tip the person who is already getting the same rate as those in the back? See the point now? Go back to working at your tipped job, because you clearly work at one and get very mad when people don’t hand over their life savings because you took a plate of salad to them, and shut the fuck up. You’re so god damn annoying.
In reply to Zachary Tillery
Let’s ease up on the language Zach.
In reply to Neil
Again Neil, we are speaking of legal ramifications. It is not a courtesy if something is clearly posted out front. Upon seeing such postings, the establishment has relinquished their requirement to serve people with shoes or shirts. Now think of it this way. What if your religion required you not to wear a shirt? Although it may be discriminatory, the fact that a sign posted out front indicates to clientele that you will not be served.
Now to the liberty issue. Again, I’m not legally required to pay a tip, simple as that. I will freely chose to go to any restaurant I want. I am being oppressed by a status quo that tells me to pay for somethign I am not legally obliged to pay for, correct? Unless a specific policy is stated at the restaurant or if local law says otherwise, there is no need for me to do so.
Neil, you are speakign specifically on societal norms or a status quo. Our forefathers went against the status quo to gain freedom, and I am chosing the same thing. You can easily argue that they could have moved to another country, just as you indicate I can chose not to eat at a restaurant, but let me tell, as a human being, I want the right (within limts) to chose for myself. This is where free market capitalism comes in.
BTW although i’m not an attorney, i do have a fairly (not the greatest) background in law. Discrimination is a fine line. For example if Disneyland sees someone with excess tatoos and piercings, they do have a right to not grant admission to that person. Now if a restaurant KNOWS i will not tip them, they actually can forbid me entrance. No restaurant has done that to me. On the other hand, as a free American, I can pay whatever tip I want unless it is clearly stated on the bill, that is it. I have a right NOT to tip if I want. Again, social aspects aside, tipping is not needed. I may look like a jerk, but quite frankly I really do not care.
What’s in it for the restaurant owners? My continuing patronage. Restaurants took the biggest nose dive during the recession, yet their model of business is the only one that has not adapted as others have. I mean a lady hounded me for only givign her 15% rather than 20%!!! I mean i thought 15% was required. I did not want t o bring this up, but it is fact.
In reply to Common Sense
I’m sorry i mean relinquished their right to serve people without shoes or without shirts. Man, its too early :)
I am a 16 year old girl who lives in a pretty nice area of town, but I by no means have a bunch of money. I work as sales at a local business and have a friend who is paid under the table by a local Mexican restaurant at about $4? an hour. She isn’t even a waitress, but cleans up for the patrons and makes sure their glasses are full and also washes the dishes when the restaurant closes. This being said, she get paid nothing but in this economy, it’s the best she’s going to get as a teenager who needs money for gas and food. I am the type of person who, if I think that I’ve been helped really well and my waiter/tress did amazing then I’ll give 20% and if not it’s more like 10-15%. I’m not going to keep them from receiving what they are due. They did good work, they get paid crap, and I see it as I’m paying for two separate services– the food and the service. There is no excuse for not paying for the service if they helped you out and brought your food and gave you what you wanted. They are real people just like you and, as others have written, they are actually helping you by only wanting a tip rather than getting paid minimum wage. However, I don’t expect a tip for the work I do because I get paid minimum wage and I get paid to help my customers rather than just bring them their food, like waiters/tresses. They don’t get paid for that part of their jobs– that’s all you.
I rather not tip – which i don’t. Instead of giving that greedy server a nice 10 dollar tip why not go out and give it to the food banks that really need it! Thats what i do! With 10 dollars i can buy for a couple of boxes of KD, lipton side kicks, a couple of can’s of soup and some mr. noodle packages and drop it of at my church food box or at a food bank and that can feed 3 or 4 familes! does that not make sense? STOP TIPPING YOUR JUST ADDING TO THE PROBLEM…IF CUSTOMERS STOPPED TIPPING IT WOULD FORCE THEIR MANAGERS TO PAY THEM BETTER – PEOPLE WHO TIP JUST ADD TO THE PROBLEM AND MAKE IT HARDER ON US!
When i don’t tip i’m making a statement that – see this is why you should have your boss give you minimum wage and not depend on a customer that could have cancer, or be unemployed or is also earning a lower waged job, but wants to have a treat out for food once in a while! I’m not a fucking bank! I’m a person..I’m not your company which earns millions of dollars per year…They should be tipping you! I just paid for the service! Meaning the food!
Brain don’t tell me i’m making a statement like that…Cause i’m not i think you should be earning minimum wage thats why i don’t tip! Me tipping and others that tip are making it harder on people can’t can’t afford it! They are also making it harder by saying…Hey its ok that the billion dollar company doesn’t pay you cause i’m rich and i can!
Don’t tip – problem will solve it self!
In reply to Shelia
Sheila, with all due respect, you are clueless… The tips your waitresses are receiving from actually going work and working are keeping them from needing to go to the foodbanks you mentioned in your previous comment. Many servers are people that have been laid off and would otherwise be out of work, many servers are overqualified and overeducated for the job they hold, but have families to feed and clothe. Many servers are parents, and restaurant work is more flexible to be able to spend the days taking care of young children that aren’t in school yet rather than sending them to daycare or hiring a sitter, mom can take care of them during the day while dad is working, and mom can waitress evenings when dad gets home…or vice versa. If a person is unemployed or makes so little in wages then said person should probably take their ten dollars and go to the grocery and buy a couple of boxes of KD, Lipton side kicks, a couple cans of soup, and some mr noodle packages…and feed themselves so you don’t have to. On a side note, in fact the reason I actually responded to the particular post, I am a waitress (obviously I suppose), one of my coworkers has an 8 year old son with leukemia, she quit the dayjob she was working to be able to take him to all of his necessary appointments, and started waitressing evenings so she could still be earning a living and to pay for his treatment. So just as you say we don’t know what our customers story is, you don’t know ours. If you choose to eat out and don’t tip obviously that’s your choice…but you sound like a self righteous, arrogant person that wants to come off as some sort of hero for not tipping and giving food to a food bank. I have 2 kids, I take them to church every Sunday, we tithe, we do volunteer work for our school and parish and our community… But you know what else I also do? I tip when I go out to eat.
In reply to Katie
Very well said Katie.
Brain i can’t see your comment on this page but only on my email your comments make no sense!
Also let me say this: i can see your greed! By telling me that if you were to make a set wage 10/hr like it is here that your service would go down and you wouldn’t do as well…Tells me something…That all the jobs 98% of them that don’t earn tips also work hard sometimes more harder they do well.
Now if i see that…And many other customers see that all it takes is when i’m leaving, telling your manager that you did a horrible job! Guess what…You will be fired and i’d get a in store credit! Smarten up!
In reply to Shelia
Sheila, try not to write everything in caps. I’ve cleaned up your comments this time. Thanks!
Mr. Pink says it all!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=641Pbo8Gt9A&feature=plcp
Tipping was never meant to be a wage supplement but merely customer gratuity and hence occasional.If a customer orders a simple salad costing 10$ or a lavish cake costing 100$,the waiter makes no extra effort in carrying either of the two items to the table,but must yet get a higher tip because of the latter.This is irrational but yet it is customary.
And it is also irrational to expect gratuity for something you are supposed to be doing;so they should stop calling it a ‘tip’ and just include the 10-18% extra cost as part of meal itself.If there is a wish to pay more, then that is up to the customer,and they need not limit it to just the waiter but be allowed to tip the cook,the cleaner or whomever they want to.Of course it’s the minimum wage which caused the earlier informal act of tipping to now became the expected norm(contrary to the highly ignorant postings of those who think that the minimum wage is actually helpful).
There are good reasons to tip though.While this blog’s author may not appreciate social interaction with the waiter,for some this is indeed welcome.Attention from an attractive waiter/waitress is alike to getting attention from a Stripper at a Strip club.
Also,if you have a cranky member in your dining group and the waiter gracefully handles her with tact and diplomacy,you may want to reward him for that.
In some dining establishments,each waiter plays the part of the Maitre d’ and the Sommelier.If carried out skillfully and the waiter makes your dining party’s evening as smooth as possible,carefully attending to your specific dining needs,then that certainly deserves some gratuity.
But if you do decide to tip,then do so in cash .Why?What did the IRS do to earn your gratuity as part of this service?Nothing at all.
In reply to Marl Karx
Very well said Mr. Marx. I don’t agree at all with how people hold non tippers as hostage. Automatically tipping truly is “for the birds.” I’m glad you mentioned the $10 salad or the $100 dollar tip. I can take it a step further. How about an $8.00 salad, which will be given to two people plus free waters, or a $300 bottle of wine for only one person and nothing else. Tipping is up to the consumer. If they want to tip 1% 15% or 500% it is up to them and no one else. If I don’t want to tip, its up to me. I’m not legally obliged to tip, so nobody should be telling me otherwise.