It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Hello!
Any disease is a result. In other words it’s more logical to understand and work with the reason instead of getting mad at disease and it’s symptoms. And why do you ever get so personal and negative with waiters and waitresses? Bottom line let’s be honest, first of all it’s a blue collar job, you can’t expect them having certain level of morality that could satisfy you. Second, they are just a result that was created by this society, and roots go all the way straight to a government.
I personally experienced both, being a waitress and a customer. Last three years I have been often traveling across US and went almost to any kind of famous “eatery” of that current city and/or a state. One thing got clear: High end and expensive restaurants very often have mature, well educated personnel and they know you have come to eat and relax. They don’t fake it to death that they are your friend, they don’t get personal with you, and they are very professional when you questions them about their food. In contrary, when you go to a let’s say 3 to 1 star restaurant or cafeteria which is affordable you see opposite attitude. I simply try not to go there, i dont mind the food, i just don’t enjoy hearing some fake friendly question. If I don’t have opportunity to amuse myself with some nice restaurant I simply stay home and cook, which I also love to do. But… I have opportunity to do so, what if I was a man with a full time job, who probably mostly eats out???? Here I get your frustration about tipping traditions and creepy service.
Here is why I tip even if i didnt like the service
(and I’m not some rich ass lady at all)
1. Well, I do beleive in emotions and there negative and positive nature. Also I beleive that they can affect on objects and human. Waiter or waitress touch and cary our food and drinks, and we eat through their hands… I simply don’t want to upset and live that person tipless who just 5 mins ago was bringing me a food. I rather will go just with water, or stay away from a desert but tip. You won’t die if you didn’t drink that soda or didn’t get to enjoy your ice cream.
2. (excuse me if i get a bit too spiritual over such an issue like tipping)
I guessed you are from India. If so you probably have heard and may be even seen some spiritual gurus and enlightened masters who don’t eat at all. And not only in India. These people have successfully adopted higher vibrations and show beings like me and you by there own example, that there is better way of being in this life… They probably look down at us like some hospital patients who have to take there pills and shots three times a day in order to stay alive, and I am suspicious that they are right. Those are some thoughts and facts that prevent me from being so serious about the service in a food industry. Do I like or do I want to tip???? Who am I to like or dislike? Bottom line I just ate and definately will have to use a bathroom in a while… It is what it is.
You people are so ignorant it’s ridiculous.
I can’t believe what I’m reading.
Servers in the states make *&$# all and it varies state to state, but in Canada they get paid a couple bucks less than minimum wage MINUS A PERCENTAGE OF WHAT THEY SELL! It’s the only profession that makes a negative commission! So when your bill is fifty bucks, you’re waiter has to toss the kitchen help, bartenders and sometimes managers up to 5% of that $50 sale. So WHEN YOU TIP NOTHING, IT COSTS YOUR WAITER MONEY OUT OF POCKET TO HAVE SERVED YOU Whether they like it or not.
Try to understand that by telling us to make our employers pay us more, all you’ll accomplish is making every item on the menu more expensive so your server can be paid a decent wage. Either way it will come out of your pocket, not the owners, not the managers, yours. not only that but now your waiter is getting paid a good wage whether they give you prompt friendly service or not. What incentive have they got to take extra care for you? All they’re asking is that you give it out of civility and gratitude for them trying to make your night special instead of having to rip it out of your pockets. Just face it, You’re Cheap!
Try this: Next time you go in to a nice restaurant, announce to your server right away that you have no intention of tipping them and see what service you get. You wouldn’t dare, Or you’re the type of person who wouldn’t be embarrassed to insult someone while they serve you and well… &*$% yourself, you have no business being out in public.
But you’re perfectly happy to wait until your server has done everything they can to give you perfect service and then snuff them with nothing, %$&*ing cowardly. Instead of saying it on a blog, grow a pair and say it to your waiter straight up that your a cheapskate or learn to tip. 15% for friendly prompt and accurate service and MORE for anything above and beyond!
In reply to cristina
“not only that but now your waiter is getting paid a good wage whether they give you prompt friendly service or not. What incentive have they got to take extra care for you?”
Straw man argument at its finest. What incentive you ask? What incentive does any professional in any job have to do his job well? The incentive is to keep the job, genius. You get paid for a job to do it well and not shabbily. You don’t do your job well, you get fired because there’s no shortage of people who would like take your place and wait tables. When the restaurant business starts failing thanks to your shabby work ethics, the owner will know whom to fire. Nobody is asking you to show your fake friendliness to the customer, just do your job professionally and that’s the most anyone can ask from you.
http://ca.finance.yahoo.com/video/finfit-common-tipping-mistakes-194511601.html
In reply to cristina
this just so happened to be the video for the day for yahoos poll coincedental!
In reply to cristina
hey, in capitalism, i pay what I’m required to. Your wages aren’t my responsibility. It sounds absolutely harsh, but it is capitalism. You can’t gurantee everybody riches. You can’t even gurantee everybody fair wages. THat is how capitalism works. There will be rich people and there will be poor people. Heck, the rich people NEED poor people just to stay rich, which is a very very very unfortunate fact.
Now if your restaraunt enacts a gratuity policy of 50%, heck I have no problem. But don’t ask me to “courtesously” pay an extra 15% if I don’t have to.
You say I’m cheap, I say i’m being fiscally responsible.
Let me ask this. Lets say I go to Spokane Washington. In the state, everybody makes minimum wage, no matter what industry. Do I have to tip?
Let me also ask this. Lets say I go to textas, where service industry workers make $2.13. This may sound like a rude scenario, but a possible one just in case. I go into a restaurant. I know that I will never return to the Lone Star State again. The waitress is super nice and she does a great job, but I don’t tip her anyways because I know I will never see her again. What about this scenario?
The service industry needs an overhaul. As Mr Pink says “if you want me to sign something I’ll sign it” but I will not buy into this current state of the consumer being bullied by the staff that they actually pay!!! remember, best buy workers don’t demand a tip, home depot workers don’t demand tips yet they are carrying hudnreds of pounds, climbing ladders and other difficult work.
Let me ask restaraunt service members this. What about the farm workers? They make about 1 dollar an hour. Do you tip them when you purchase their fruits/veggies for the salads you give to your customers?
Do the Paki… I’m an American and your comment is not nice at all. To Bhagwad, I apologize for my fellow brethren to act so childishly. It is a shame that fellow Americans act this way. Perhaps the Entitlement culture of the Entitled States of America has truly gotten to Paki…
If you don’t like American culture you could always GO THE FUCK HOME ASSHOLE. No one here wants to smell your ignorant armpits anyway. Ever think of that? Take a shower and go back to Pakistan.
Comment deleted for abuse with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever :)
i’m american. i abhor the idea of tipping and the feeling of entitlement that servers have of my money. no matter how convicted you pro-tippers are, the fact will always remain that tipping is not the law. IT IS NOT THE LAW. not leaving a tip (and i don’t mean the required specified tip for a larger party of people that is published on menus or establishment walls) will never land a diner in jail. EVER. WHY? because TIPPING IS NOT THE LAW. IT IS NOT A LEGAL OBLIGATION. i believe that most people leave a tip because they don’t want to appear cheap or unsophisticated or without home training. bump that! i understand that many people have low earning potential due to lack of formal education or training in specialized fields or may be suffering from the lack of better-paying jobs due to the economy, both of which may limit them to the serving industry. and that is unfortunate. but so is the way of the world. when i had a 9-5 that wasn’t paying enough for me to pay all of my basic bills, i got, get this, a SECOND J-O-B. and i’ve worked more than one job more than once in my life. it sucked, it left me with little to no social life, and it was exhausting. but those were the dues i had to pay. i didn’t resign myself to staying stuck, broke, complaining, and feel entitled to others’ money to supplement my lower income. the onus was on me, not others, to take care of myself. if the income from serving isn’t enough to meet your basic needs, then get an additional job, or another job altogether that CAN satisfy your financial needs. if you stay in the serving industry, understand that you are doing so by your own will and that at the end of the day, YOU are accountable for getting your light bill and rent paid, not the stranger whose order you took.
It’s obvious that you’ve never worked in or have any idea on the way a restaurant works or it’s mechanics. If the food is all you’re interested in and not the service, then go through a fucking drive-thru or go to the host stand and get it to go. If you think being a server in a fine dining restaurant is easy by any means, then I’d love to see you fucking try it. You’d crash like the Hindenburg. I’m usually good at reading people to know whether they want some attention or if they don’t want to be bothered. And in the latter of the two, I’ll keep conversation minimal. But when someone asks what’s my favorite, or they have a food allergy that needs to be considered, or if it’s a special occasion and want to know what wine should be paired with their food, or have questions about the food that actually requires real food knowledge, what do you think they’re paying for? Do you really think it’s easy to have four or five tables and to time all the courses perfectly while providing every possible thing they’d need during their stay? I for one actually enjoy interacting with people. If they don’t want to talk, then that’s fine. I don’t feel like I’m kissing someone’s ass to get a buck or two. As far as spitting in someone’s food, that’s just something I wouldn’t do because its bad karma. The same can be said for you not tipping someone. Do you tip a barber if you like your haircut? You probably don’t. You seem like the type of person that demands everything and gives nothing. Is tipping law? No. Is not tipping in very poor taste? Absolutely! Says a lot about you as a person. If you’re a salesman, should you not get commission? What’s my motivation to give you everything you need while you’re taking space at my table? I give good service under any circumstances, but people like you, I won’t hesitate to rush the service and get you out of my fucking section. If I don’t get a tip from you then that’s fine as long as you’re out of my station and you didn’t waste much of my time. You’re forgotten and I’m ready for my next people to be sat and hopefully they’re there to enjoy themselves.
In reply to Corey J
Something else too. The money I make doesn’t go into my pocket only. At the end of every shift, I tip bussers to get your table ready with polished silverware and glasses quickly, I tip bartenders to make your drinks in a timely fashion, and food runners to get your food to you when it’s ready if I’m at a table that has questions or needs recommendations. You’re not just not tipping me, but you’re basically not paying the whole front of house staff. It’s like walking into someone’s job and saying,” fuck you and your profession.”
In reply to Corey J
Not ALL the money is my point.
In reply to Corey J
Tip the barber? What kind of joke is that? I am already paying the barber for the haircut, why in the world would I tip him again? You people think you are something special & should get double payment for everything or what? No, I don’t tip the taxi driver either. You know why? Because he’s already getting paid for getting me to my destination. Nobody is doing anything for free. Screw this whole tipping BS. Its hard enough for most middle class people to make ends meet with 9 to 5 jobs these days and then we have to think about tipping the whole world. Yeah right…
Btw please feel free to ask for tips from those customers who want your expert advice on food combinations and what not but leave the rest of us who just come for the food the good chef cooks, ALONE.
In reply to Andy
I know right? I don’t tip the taxi driver after all the fare meter starts at $4.00 now (where i live) gas goes up and the price never comes down…i don’t tip the pizza guy – the deliver charges are at $3.50…are you mad its expensive – i stopped tipping period! if something ever happens to me i can’t get that money back its hard enough to treat myself out. Its their billion dollar corporations that should be paying them not the average joe/girl like me!
In reply to Shelia
Shelia–i think you hit the nail on the head. Why should we, the consumer be assuming the responsibility that the employer should be taking up? it is not our responsibility.
Now i hate to be mean, but I need to lay out some issues. As a consumer (not as a human being), if servers go home to their families hungry, as a CONSUMER it is not my problem. I am at your restaurant to consume the food and have fun. You’re problems in life are not my problem as a consumer. Tipping has nothing to do with humanism, it is an entitlement (something I’m very against). I am in the medical field, and I know of lots of Nurses assistants and EMT’s that make minimum wage. These people are saving your life and they are forbidden to take tips. Why can you service people take tips while EMT’s barely make minimum?
In reply to Corey J
lol most jobs don’t do commisions anymore – i worked in retail for 5 years of my life during my schooling years…they removed commision at it was only 1 or 2% and i worked harder than you…also samething when people walk into a travel agency…so whats your point? because you know about some food etc..and they have questions you need a tip? its your job…period! why should we take it out..if i pay 20 dollars for a meal i want to seat and eat while its still hot..if you have a problem take it up with your manager – as you won’t because you’d be fired!
In reply to Corey J
lol most jobs don’t do commisions anymore – i worked in retail for 5 years of my life during my schooling years…they removed commision and it was only 1 or 2% and i worked harder than you no bonus/commission…also samething when people walk into a travel agency…so whats your point? because you know about some food etc..and they have questions you need a tip? its your job…period! why should we take it out..if i pay 20 dollars for a meal i want to seat and eat while its still hot..if you have a problem take it up with your manager – as you won’t because you’d be fired!
i’m good at reading people too. it says a lot about a person who projects his “personal” attitudes and convictions about money onto others and expects others to adapt said convictions. i never presume to know what’s in someone else’s wallet and i never presume to know the relationship that other people have with their money (their money–their business). and i’ll never have the audacity to tell someone that if they can’t afford to leave a tip or don’t believe in tipping at all, that they should get their meal from another type of establishment or order take-out, or cut their own hair, or walk to their destination, or move their own furniture, etc. oh, and to the idea of servers tainting the food of a habitual low/nontipper: people who have the inclination to do something as vile and disgustingly retaliatory as that are also the types who don’t need so-called provocation to exercise that kind of nastiness. in other words, if any server could bring himself to spit in a patron’s food because he recognizes that person as a regular nontipper, he would probably also do it because a patron looks at him funny, complains too much about his meal, reminds him of his ex, is fat, is ugly, or just crossed him on a day when he got up on the wrong side of the bed. the idea of good tipping being “protection money” from having tainted food brought out to one’s table isn’t even on the same plane as not believing in tipping. and to those servers who are in that industry because you like it and like not having traditional hours, i can understand that. there are lots of times that i want to go the freelance route and quit my 9-5. but by doing so, i know that my income will be unpredictable and unstable. and if i chose to go the freelance route, i couldn’t expect my clients to pad my fee just so i could get my mortgage paid on time and have groceries and a full tank of gas. my financial circumstances are just that, mine. and while i may not wish to have to spend 8+ hours a day away from home, it’s what i’ve determined that i have to do, and the choice that i’ve made that no one has forced upon me. which goes back to people not “having” to rely solely on tips to meet their basic needs. if serving doesn’t bring in a stable enough income for you, get a second or third job, or find a 40-hour a week gig like many other people do. pay your own dues; don’t expect that others should.
boy i missed quite a bit!!! uh boy pretty much reflects my exact sentiments. Look, tipping isn’t the law. Guys like Corey J will argue, but the fact is, if you go and check allergens (which waiters I encounter just say ‘o its ok’) or ask about favorites–its called doing your job. You get paid to serve, that is it. The fact that you agreed to a meager 2.13/hour is not my problem. There are a lot of things that are done in poor taste that are perfectly legal in the US. It is completely poor taste to fart in an elevator right? Does it mean that that person will be subject to jail time (unless somebody is physically harmed by the fart)? No, it just makes the person look mean. Sure this is a pretty extreme comparison, but it works nonetheless.
The tipping system is simply feeding the sense of entitlement in the US. Perhaps you American waiters that feel that you aren’t making enough money should go to China to the Iphone factory (most of you probably own something manufactured in China) and tell me how that compares.
Tipping is not part of the law. If your restaraunt does have a tipping policy, then yes, it is mandatory to pay a tip, which I will be happy to pay. However if you have no gratuity policy, it is up to me and me only to decide how much to tip you–0%, 5%, 12%, 18%, 9.7693957019375710574829%? its all up to me. I don’t follow anything arbitrary, especially not in a free market society.
anyone human that takes this story serious or is truely mad about it to where you have to post something angry is sad,if your are straight up ANGRY you have to tip people dont go out to eat,if it gets you angry this person doesnt like to tip…GET a life who cares,there are countless miserable people in the world dont let them suck you in.
by the way, went out to eat monday night,ya know for AMERICAN football…food and service was awesome,left the chick a 20 whole dollars!!
In reply to lol
lol, are you the redeemer of mankind in terms of what to take seriously? Will you lead us onward to the rapture?
So what we’re expressing opinions. If you tip, that is fine, however I feel that I need to display a sense of fiscal responsibility. it is nice to tip the waitress 20 whole dollars, yet I would rather go to two restaraunts and tip both of those servers 10 each. Better yet, how about we go to four restaraunts and tip them 5 dollars each? Why just one person?
This is my issue with Americans and their hypocritical “charity.” Its what I like to call “extreme make over hme edition” syndrome. Sure we feel good about giving somebody, that might not necessarily need it, a big tip, or a big makeover, etc. yet there are still thousands of people suffering. Listen, that woman has a job, a waitress. There are still 10% of Americans who would LOVE to get 2.13/hour at this moment.
How about we save up for our children’s college? how about we save up for ourselves? How about just not tipping just because the society’s status quo tells us so. I thought America is a free country?
BTW why are you pushing AMERICNA football. What are you enacting some sort of superiority over others? Is your American entitlement rising over ratinoale? Hey I like the NFL like the next guy, but I don’t make others feel bad for (assuming) they don’t watch it. Lets stick with discussing tips.