It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
wow common sense took that one and ran with it huh,lol the tip was $20 becuase thats what the tip percentage came out to,the “pushing” american football was a joke,i guess i dunno never thought i would have to re-explain annnnnnnnd didnt try 2 make any1 feel bad about not watching football,and trust me my family is struggling with everything from bad business to caner treatments sooo i think i no a thing or to about money issues in my country…ya know,cuase i live here,i also find it that you other people looooove taking shots at people for being from america,ive done some traveling and it seems like false media controls alot of opinions…..so anyways back to the basics of the post stop taking everything you read sooo seruios,its and website,poeple joke,they bitch,they cry ETC,and how about not tipping? your right football is free however when you go to the bar its likily you run a tab up between food drinks and other things….not tipping some1 who relies on that for income is just disrespectful,we are from 2 different cultues neither of us are write or wrong its the views we have from being from other places,it just seems alot of people in this world except everything to be excactly how they want it or somethings wrong…my country and yours its just the way things are.
In reply to lol
here in the U.S. and all over the world, there are countless things that people have been conditioned to believe is ok, safe, proper, correct, good, and expected, that are actually NOT. tipping is one of those things that has snowballed into what is believed to be a socially responsible, appropriate, and expected thing to do. and there is nothing wholly cultural about it, seeing as there are a lot of people who don’t participate in it and are unapologetic about their nonparticipation. group-think can do a number on a person’s ability to critically think for himself. you say it’s disrespectful not to give one’s extra money to someone who relies on that money for his income. outside of the serving industry, what do think about a person who thinks it’s ok to rely on others’ extra money for his income? don’t we call a person like that a moocher or someone with a feeling of entitlement? i don’t fault a homeless or indigent person for begging, and i happily give to those who can’t do for themselves. but when you choose to serve, you know from the start that it’s a gamble as to what you’ll earn from one shift to the next. and while i respect anyone who works honestly to take care of himself, i don’t feel a moral or ethical or social responsibility to support those who choose to gamble with their income when they [most likely] have other options, but just “prefer” not to exercise those other options.
In reply to uh boy
You guys do know that I am an American, right? Born in raised in Cali. I really dont like to hear about Americans, however having a “hard time.” You want a hard time go to Somalia or something, but that isn’t the point here. THe point here is giving people money that you aren’t required to do so. I’m not speaking about the humanistic side, i’m speaking about the sheer marketing side. You chose a job that pays 2.13/hour (in texas), so live with it. It is not my fault that you fiscally did not choose wisely. Businesses either boom or bust, as do people’s incomes. I’d persoanlly rather come back to a restaraunt twice than go once and have to tip. Isn’t that better business if I return? The restaraunt is making more money off of me that way, aren’t they? Uh boy is pretty much right on. You chose to serve, so its a gamble. Live with the consequences. I will tip as I chose. If the girl does a great job, she’ll get a good 15-20%. If the guy does a horrible job, he’ll get nothing. Hey he did a bad job, why does he deserve my hard earned cash for not working hard himself?
People take shots at Americans, but don’t Americans take shot at the people that take shot at Americans too? Think about it for a second.
Anyways I chose not to tip because I”m a fiscally responsible person. I’d save that money, invest in it or return to another restaurant to patronize it. Its my money. IT isn’t by law required for me to pay anything, so why would I pay?
In reply to Common Sense
It’s great that you’re a fiscally-responsible person. I appreciate that. It means that you understand the basic workings of microeconomics.
Let’s say you have a restaurant, and inside that restaurant you have 10 tables. On a usual day, the restaurant is at 20 percent capacity. The server is the only one there because the restaurant is slow.
Let’s say the next week, the projections are to be that slow again. There is one server. Suddenly there is a large rush of people. Which people do you think that server is going to go the extra mile for? The guy that is known not to tip, or the couple that s/he knows is going to tip really well? While their job is to wait on you, take your order, and serve your food, knowing that you will not tip means that s/he has nothing to lose for ignoring you. Now, you might say that the restaurant will reprimand the server (in a perfect world, yes), but because there are plenty of happy customers there, the restaurant management will deem you one of those occasional guests that they “lose.”
In a larger city, with lots of restaurants, you have great variety. You can change restaurants plenty of times without staff remembering you. But in smaller cities, we remember.
I have since left the industry, because I prefer regular salary that is much more predictable. But I just wanted to use that example as why I continue to tip, and I continue to tip well. The human mind works to maximize profit, to maximize wealth. You are doing so by saying you don’t want to tip. You are attempting to maximize your wealth. The server will do exactly the same thing — they will kiss asses of people who tip them well. And that’s the system that has been in place for years and it’s unlikely to change, because 99 times out of 100, guests tip.
In reply to Steven
great so I guess i am more allowed to not tip. I live in the Greater LA area. There are 20 million of us out here, so with your argument I never ever have to tip here. Same with NYC–about 25-30 million people out there.
I understand your humanisic approach Steven, but even so, servers have to remember i am not obliged to tip. Let me put it this way, lets say there is a hurricane. The EMT’s, nurses assitants, who only make minimum wage, the LVNS and the RNS are swamped, i’m talking hundreds of injured in a hospital. The nurses are swamped. Nurses are forbidden to take any tips, yet some people give 20-30 dollars to whatever nurse, LVN, etc. to give them “more attention.” how is this any different? It seems more like bribery than anything else, doesn’t it?
Exactly! People do harder jobs get minimum wage while a server gets more from tips i dont care about your sad stories because i have more then you – really i do! I am there to eat and have fun…not to worry about you – its your job..you are so tip needy next time i’ll come into your restaurant and ask if i can go into the kitchen and pick up my own food…i’m sure i will not be allowed as i do not have that option…so therefore…a tip is not in that option! I don’t give tips – but i give to the food bank, charity..now if i gave tips i would not have enough to help out the poor and give to the food banks…as i’m not a rich person!
So what I’m gathering is that all servers that want to make a living in this system should quit if they don’t like their jobs.
Okay.
Who will wait on you then?
No one is obligated to tip. I have been a server before. I left the industry, just as you all suggest, because the tips were not coming in and covering my bills. But it took a really long time to find employment that would, and I wasn’t about to lose my only source of employment before doing so.
In my experience, the people that do not tip either don’t do so because they don’t want to support the system of tipping (completely understand, and applaud you for your nobility) or they got horrible service (again, good reason — I would not tip for bad service, either) or because they get a libidinous thrill from running someone’s ass off and not compensating them for that. I suspect a few of you have this issue. You are by no means obligated to tip your server for service. Just realize that servers remember faces, and if we are slammed busy and have more than your table, you’re coming last. Money talks. If a table is going to tip $20 on an $80 bill, they will come first. I’m sorry. It’s just simple economics. Law of supply and demand. How high a price are you willing to pay for my service and attention above someone else? Just as it is valuable to you, it’s valuable to me as well. And our bosses, the owners of the restaurant? Well, unless your bill is really healthy or you are a restaurant critic, nothing you say or do will make them tell us to go to you first. Especially if we explain the situation to them. They started out where we are (almost 80 percent of the time — trust me).
I appreciated every tip I got, including those that were literally pennies on the dollar. I understand that some people either don’t have the money, or they thought my service wasn’t good. The lower the tip, the more I remembered, “Did I not provide good service here tonight?” I took my job very seriously. For the most part, I love my guests. Even the ones that looked new to me. But if I feel like I am providing the same level of service to you as I do to tip-paying guests, I will remember that it wasn’t my service that prompted you not to tip. It was your philosophy. And if there is someone that tips and you (a person that does not tip), I will go the extra mile for them. It’s basic human instinct and no internet blog will change that, no matter how big of a potty mouth you have. ;)
NO, it’s not YOUR problem that I made $4.95/hour. NO, it’s not YOUR problem that the system works this way. And NO, I do NOT have to work there. But if every server out there decided that it wasn’t worth working that job, one of three things would happen: restaurants would go out of business, restaurants would have to raise prices to cover higher wages, or there would always be an autograt on your bill and you would have no say in how much you thought my service to you was worth. I could dilly dally and you’d still have to pay the same amount.
All I am saying is this: reward hard work. If someone really makes you feel like you’ve enjoyed your time, make sure that person knows that so they can make your evening enjoyable again (assuming this is dinner). It’s a great courtesy. Most servers appreciate it. The ones that don’t appreciate people won’t appreciate anything, and frankly need to apply at McDonald’s. But please don’t bunch me in with the bad ones. I won’t bunch you in my list of assholes (even the ones that tip). Just because you don’t tip doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate you as a guest. I did like serving people, even the “cheapskates.” Some people just have an energy about themselves that makes my day better — and that’s enough. Thanks!
In reply to Steven
It seems to me that you’re justifying bribery. Your first point could easily be transferred into other situations. Like if you go to get your driver’s license renewed. There are only a limited number of govt. employees who are “slammed busy” as you put it. Money talks – it’s simple economics. It look as if you’ll be completely ok if someone asked you to pay them a bribe so that you could get “expedited service”.
Law of supply and demand right?
In reply to Steven
Steven, you ask if servers should quit or not. We’ve established this already–why not unionize? Perhaps if all the servers did quit, it would provide the system the shock therapy it desperately needs. In other countries, if workers don’t like how things are, they’ll make sure the employers feel their pain. I guess it is “un-American” to do such things here, as unions and protests are deemed “uncivilized.” Perhaps all servers SHOULD quit their jobs. Make their employers feel the pain. Again, no one forced you, Steve, to be a server. You accepted the gamble that comes with a tip based job, so unfortunately you must accept it.
I don’t mean to sound mean, but the fact that you couldn’t find other employment isn’t my problem. You serving me cold food, however, is my problem. When I go to a restaurant, i don’t care what the heck is going on in your life, just give me my food and accept whatever I give you, even if that is a 0% tip.
This is a capitalist society. Not everybody is supposed to be wealthy. As I mentioned, poverty will be around forever, this is a fact. Service style jobs will always be around. Sometimes, it takes generations for people to excel, this is simply a sad reality. unfortunately, I don’t care about this reality when I am eating at a restaurant. All I care about is eating some good food and not feeling that darn guilt trip about tipping.
Bhagwad said it best, your example seems more like bribery. Did you read my hurricane example?
In reply to Steven
I can write up my own order and walk up to the kitchen counter and pick up my own food thanks. Not that hard to do. If there was an option to do that and get a discount for not being waited on I’d do it.
common sense ur a fuckin joker lol,nuff said
if there is a 2012 end of the world or anything like that its ur weak breed that would die off first lol #notahappyperson #softlikebutter #lol #lolagain
In reply to lol
great way to get away from the conversation LOL–mudslinging. I suppose it works great in Americans politics, so citizens of the Entitlted States of America feel they should do the same elsewhere. Perhaps if you and I saw each other eye to eye you’d continue your demeanor, right?
My fiscal conservatism and responsibility would be my “breed” would survive anything, just to point that out, lol.
Well you wanna here something funny? but not really – i’m out of work for the next few months…yes my job ended! So now i will be on unemployment – and will only be earning 55% of what i have made…oh wait…but the next month i will be earning $0.00 dollars…and you as a server will be earning that specially 7.00 + tips…? but if your in canada you’ll be earning 10.00 hour + tips…so i come to your restaurant…and be spending money for a treat for myself after a stressful day looking for work..oh look its you the greedy server…you wanna tip? NOPE! i paid for my meal you earn more than i do..its not my problem just like me not having a job is not yours right?
that is another example of don’t assume your customers have money…these days everyone is feeling pain from rising prices..well not your rich customers that can tip and earn 100,000 a year…but for your average joe…that earns under 25,000 yea its a big difference. We also have right to eat without your greedy face.
In reply to Shelia
maybe you should suck up your pride and get a job waiting tables… until you find the job you really want.
I wish the Brits never brought you any western civilization. You’d all be nothing but scum in your own ethical/religious system. It makes me happy that most of you attain nothing more than having to work for the extremely wealthy Americans. Even your doctors, lawyers and scientists are only working for those of us who really drive this train.
In reply to D
umm, how does your comment relate to tipping? am i missing something?
In reply to D
“Most of you attain nothing more than having to work for the extremely wealthy Americans. “
So just like most Americans then :D
In reply to bhagwad
most as in 99% of Americans, lol.
It is quite sad (for you) that you do not want to interact with your waiter. We are placed on this planet with other humans, and with the possible exception of shit head bloggers, most of them have points of view worth experiencing.
In reply to Tom Stevenson
I interact with people all of the time. Does that mean that I have to pay them a tip for interacting with them? I interact with the Best Buy worker, yet he is forbidden to accept a tip from me.
Who cares about this humanism stuff in terms of speaking about a capitalist society? Serve me my food, that is it. Serve it to me hot (or cold if its ice cream or something). Be prompt on refills.
In other words, do your job. I don’t want to pay somebody who is already receiving a paycheck to do their job. If I do tip them, it should be under my discretion–5%, 10%, 15% whatever i’m in the mood for. I don’t need an oppressive status quo to tell me how much I should voluntarily pay someone.
Want some great points of view? Go talk to a homeless person. I am serious, they love the company and I have no problem giving them money, as they are down on their luck. THey will tell you some of the best points of view. Want another point of view? talk to a businessman. They wont take your tips either, and they’ve got some great insight.
Do your friends require a 15% tip from you when you want to interact with them?
Tom Stevenson–aren’t you yourself a (badword) head blogger as you have blogged your opinion on the comments section on a blog?
“umm, how does your comment relate to tipping? am i missing something?”
Umm how is your sarcasm relevant when the comment wasn’t directed at anything you wrote?
In reply to D
D, I’ve offended your true mastery and honor. Please forgive me for my insolence. I’ve performed a great dishonor upon you. Please spare me of your wrath. My sarcasm is total disrespect to your incredible benevolence and i fear what may come of my insolence.
OK, now what does your British comment have to do with anything your majesty?
what garbage reasons. These seem like excuses to keep your money over anything else. My specific problem is people not tipping on deliveries.
The fact is, service jobs revolve around tips because it is a SERVICE JOB. It has nothing to do with being educated with skills or not. When you deal with people and your quality of service is to be rewarded, then that’s how it should be.
The fact is, a lot of people act as if they aren’t required to tip. If you get a service, you tip. That’s how north america works. If you don;t like this system you don’t need to get delivery. The service is there for you to use, not abuse.
I have found that a lot of ethnic minorities pay to the cent and/or dont as for the 5 cents change and act like they are doing you a favour.
Sure bad service warrants a bad tip. Not tipping at all and saying its cause of bad service is just being cheap. If there is a 0% tip then the person should have given you 0% service.
In reply to Annoyed
Try telling this to your employer :D
In reply to Annoyed
There is no legal binding for the tipping system UNLESS the restaurant clearly indicates anywhere on the premises that an automatic gratuity is required, that is it.
Why can’t a best buy employee receive a tip then? He’s offering his service isn’t he?
“ethnic minorities?” Well go over to Europe then. Wait, europeans don’t have a tipping system either, oops.
In reply to Annoyed
lol are you serious?
Let me get this straight “The service is there for you to use, not abuse. I have found that a lot of ethnic minorities pay to the cent and/or dont as for the 5 cents change and act like they are doing you a favour.”
Really? So its not your job? your there as a special helper out of volunteering time? Guest what say that to your boss not us…infact please do tell your boss that what you believe…and see how fast you will find yourself on the unemployment line. I’ll tell you something you MUST bring me my food and there are cameras around in restaurants..also if you feel that why the if me an option to go to the kitchen and get my food so i can bring it to my table and eat, if the restaurant doesn’t have that option then too bad – thats why they hire you.
I didn’t hire you – your not my problem and you know greedy person if they tipped you 5cents yes they did do you a favour because they increased your pay! Even 25cent. They didn’t have to give you nothing. The reason restaurants pay you less is because you guys are making alot of money and are still compainting…..people that work in best buy, walmart, etc…do more for customers then you do! Try working at mcdonalds and running out in the cold to hand someone their bag of food etc..no one tips them!
you can complain here all you want, but i’m no minoritie I WILL NOT TIP YOU – go to europe and some other parts of the world no one really tips…this thing is just big in canada and the u.s.