It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Typical you would blog this
I am a server at a country club and including tips I make upwards of $50 an hour. Fuck you and your selfish attitude. I can’t imagine how many pieces of bacon that fell on the floor or fecal matter or spit you have consumed your entire life. If you walked into a restaurant I owned, I would slap you silly and kick your ass to the curb.
Get real, dude. Move out of your mom’s basement, get a job, and get into society.
wow. I have done plenty of jobs in my life. Server being one of them. I worked in a state that minimum wage for someone who listened to your barking orders, fetched your drink like they were your dog, never let you go unpleased (by kneeling next to your table, so neither you nor your date feel threatened by me) for $2.50 per hour. Don’t thank the place who made your food. Thank the person who brought it to your ungreatfull ass. That person needs to listen to the cook bitch, the bartender bitch, the hostest cry, and still pretend like they give two fucks about your silly good for nothing dip shit problems. And no, they don’t spit in your food. Thats saved for the movies you dumb fuck. No one knows what kind of tool you are till after you leave.
In reply to nonya
if the job is that bad, then quit. Its a simple solution. I’m not legally required to pay you anything, no matter how you feel. If it is specifically on the receipt, then yes I have to pay you.
If I could bring the food to myself, heck I would, but the waiters have created a system where you are not allowed to do so. So if I want fine italian food, I can’t bring the food to myself. Why is that? You guys have created a system where you complain that you are serving us so much, yet all we want is food that we cant find at fast food and the such. I have no problem paying higher prices when buying good food, however your tips are not my concern.
If the restaurant has a 50% tipping system that is automatically placed on the bill, more power to them. I don’t care how much yall wait staff cry. Unless you change the law, i will tip as I please. Its capitalism. You not making loads of money is not my problem.
Other employees are “b*tching” at you? WOW welcome to the workforce. This is how it works, duh.
Hostest cried? Wow welcome to Earth, this is something called life.
Hey here on Earth, don’t expect paradise. For every time you eat fine steak you’re going to have to eat fecal matter twice, thats just the way things are.
you ungreatful servers….did you know that you could be sued for spiting in someones food? yes you can and or the restaurant. Your around people all the time with food – so if you were to do that – then guess what you would be caught especially since there are camera’s around too.
If you did that to mine, I would have your ass and also did your boss not tell you tips are not mandatory upon hire? cause i know if i complain that you asked for a tip – i’d get a free meal out of it. lol
It has taken me a few days but I have read every comment on this article. I have thought a lot about what has been written here and I have decided to stop tipping.
I would usually decline to tip while alone but would tip approximately 12.5% while with others, to avoid a negative stigma. I had thought that 15% was a good tip, 12.5% was average and 10% was mediocre. I had not realized that 20% was now the expected norm.
I will now endeavor to stop tipping entirely while with friends and family. If questioned, I will explain my reasons clearly and suggest that if they feel badly for the server or taxi driver or hotel maid then they may add some money themselves and I will not think them foolish for doing so. When dining with my co-workers I will probably still tip in order to avoid controversy at my workplace, so I am still not completely free of the socially-enforced guilt and shame. However, I will only tip 10% and let them think that I am stingy or whatever they wish to think.
Thank you Bhagwad for writing this article and thank you to all those who contributed to the dialogue in the comments, both pro and con.
In reply to Tom
Thank you for your comment Tom :)
In reply to Tom
Unfortunately 20% is becoming the norm. I still remember when 10% was expected. I am just afraid that people will complain to me if I feel generous, give a 20% tip and the staff member exclaims that the norm is 30%. At the rate we are going, it is more than likely.
Cool comment Tom. You seem even more strict than I am because I still feel the stigma of not tipping, as much as I don’t want to. I trust try avoid going out all together now.
In reply to Tom
Hi Tom,
What you can do is pay with Debit when you are out with friends or co-workers, i`m sure if you do separate billing it will work just fine..thats what i try to do when out with people, cause i`m not a big meat eater and normally my bill comes up to 12 or 13 dollars, while others 20 or 25 per plate so its not fair i pay more and they pay less to even it out. So just say i don`t have cash i have debit or visa they will assume you tipped while you were in the front paying and just don`t say anything – its simple. lol
In reply to Shelia
Great suggestion Shelia but I think sometimes it pays to be open about your stance rather than play hide and seek. If you feel strongly about something, sooner or later you gotta come out in the open with it. Let your colleagues know about your stance on tipping. At first they will be bewildered and some will think lowly of you but once you explain your reasons, you will find that many will agree with you and come over to your side. Not everybody will agree and that’s fine because opinions are bound to differ. There are many people out there who hate tipping and just needs to hear from fellow peers that its acceptable to not tip to convince themselves.
Being a server in Canada is freaking awesome, minimum wage for servers is $8.9, only $1.35 below actual minimum wage.
Tips and wage add up to around $30 an hour on an average night. Yumm.
Fuck America!
In reply to CanadaRocks
Guess its upto us then to educate fellow Canadians that tipping is utterly unnecessary since you are already getting paid handsomely by the hour by your boss which means customers are already paying your wages when they pay the food bill.
I think its our responsibility to educate our fellow friends, family and peers. I already convinced my relatives and friends not to tip years ago and they have pretty much gotten accustomed to not tipping.
In reply to Andy
I’m glad Canada has it right with their servers. If more and more people stopped tipping here in the US, we can get somewhere. THere is a San Diego restaraunt that says “ABSOLUTELY NO TIPPING” instead they tack on an 18% service charge, which I’m totally fine with.
In reply to Andy
Try, tipping is deeply rooted into Canadian cultures. I personally highlight auto-grats on big tables directly inform them that tips are already included in the total, but some still tip on top of that.
The people that don’t want to pay for their food as delivered by the establishment owner, (through a waiter), can go elsewhere. Let’s not argue customs of Americans, because it is what it is. Let’s argue why a person will selfishly ignore those customs. There are cafeterias that have good food, really. But this is really about class, like in India where the lower class person does not have to be paid their true worth and must accept what higher evolved people will give. The argument that if service was in the cost of the food, would mean they would not go there, because they are cheap, don’t say your not. The problem is they/you are winning, too many cheap people like Bags will force a VAT which will surely be more than a 20% tip, (Like UK), with most of that cost differential going to an owner or government, not a server. So I agree that change is happening slowly, because people like Bags just don’t want lowly servers (low class) to get the money, and they would like to keep the difference until that change does happen. They may rationalize, but they simply want more value than they are willing to pay for. And the bit about giving money to the homeless, I can almost guarantee that even the homeless guy thinks “what a cheap person”. Kismet will arrive to you, what you give in life is what you often get back,…..so sorry Bags. You will never know what it is like to be generous, quite the opposite. No I won’t believe the story about how you are in fact a giving person,….. or came from humble backgrounds.
I’ll check in an another six months or so again, perhaps you will have won and a 20-30% increase or VAT will be in place by then,….. the only condition you would pay more than now. And you will with no umbrage, just so long as the low cast doesn’t get any of it. Again, I am truly sorry for how kismet will smack you down.
In reply to Kismet
Just because you think being a server is a demeaning job doesn’t mean that I do too. Don’t push your prejudices onto me. Nowhere have I mentioned anything about “castes” or “low class” etc. All of this is in your head and you assume that it must be in everyone else’s head also.
Oh my god!! get the f*ck over it!! Just reading your annoying ass comments about why people HAVE to tip makes me NOT wanna tip people like you.
Reading this article I realise just how stupid the entire argument is. And no matter what I say, noone will listen to logic.
First thing. All servers are complaining that they are paid minimum wage, but the customers are the “arseholes” for not making up the difference between what they earn and what they need to survive. Minimum wage is minimum wage, just maybe your bosses are the “arseholes”
Second thing, you are all complaining about an HOURLY wage, how does a 15% per meal make up for a low hourly wage?
Ok, heres an example, lets say that someone orders a meal and say, coke, and its $50 total, so $7.50 tip. What if that person ordered something slightly more expensive, say $50 bottle of wine with the same meal. So the total bill is $100, and tip $15? ehh no. It makes no sense that for the same amount of work that the server should earn double.
So in this case, 15% tip is RIDICULOUS, but for a cheap $15 meal, then 15% is possibly not enough.
If you as a server, I know that you are not a greedy person, i understand you have bills and you wont have tips from everyone, but lets say you want an average of $20 per hour, and your boss pays you$4 now, thats $16 per tips per hour, but of course you wont make that ever hour. So, for the purpose of this example lets make it that you need $48 in tips per hour so as to cover for the times when you dont have customers / tips.
So if you wait on 10 tables in an hour then you only need $4.80 tip per TABLE. If its only 1 person, I feel a $5 tip (NOT 15% is sufficient).
BUT before you scream abuse at me for being a cheap bastard, while i feel $4.80 tip per table is pretty good, theres more. I feel that each subsequent person at the table should pay $2 – $2.50 in tips. so 4 people at a table would pay $11 – $12.50 in tips. (maybe for large groups just $2.50 per person is acceptable)
This tip based on number of people would cover the time spent cleaning the table after they leave, and the time spent on the meal. You can see that I already believe $4.80 per table is fair, but at the same time, the more people at each table means more people to look after, and I realise that a busy restaurant, with 40-50 people that your trying to help can be very hectic. AND I have complete respect when you have 10 people from different tables order drinks and you can get it right, and give the right drinks to the right people at a speed faster then I can tie my own shoes! So i am trying to say, $5 per table + extra for each subsequent person i think is fair tip.
Paying a fixed tip rate per person is much more fair then shoving your nose up at a customer that cant afford the lobster because you were hoping for 15% commission from it! Additionally, if its a nice restaurant, and someone is ‘only buying water’, well, to me its still fair that they pay $2.50 for the chair -> because you are still providing the service.
Heres some practical examples of bills vs the amount of tips that i feel is fair:
1. If my bill is $15, I am happy to pay $20 (which is actually a nice commission).
2. If my bill is $45, I am happy to pay $50. Why, because its the same amount of work and effort. If a customer comes in and orders something *cheap* do you get angry and demand they pay for the lobster and then demand a 15% on top? The $5 tip per person is quite reasonable. Dont scream and tell me to fuck off or call me a greedy bastard. If a $45 meal takes you the same amount of time to service me as a $15 meal, then really, you should be happy with that $5.
3. If it was my family of four (and i know the kids are messy) I would be happy to pay the $5 + $2.50 for each other person (so $12.50) in tips. And this is ALOT better system. -> you would see us coming in and know for a fact that your gonna get at least $12.50 from us. Whereas with the crappy “15%” system, you wont have a clue what to expect. What if we only spend $50-$70 on our meal? (using the 15% rule would mean that you would get LOWER then $12.50? is that really fair to you as a server?) What if we spend $85? Are you really gonna be shitty because the $12.50 tip was lower then the 15%? Is that really fair to me?
My final notes. I honestly think that charging per head (or per seat) is a much fairer system. For certain restaurants, I think they should actually make it known, that If you do come into the restaurant (even if its only for water) that it will be $5 for a chair, and $2.50 per subsequent person. Like for a place that does eat in as well as take away, perhaps entry INTO the dinning area should be an upfront fee (by fee i mean the tip) and if they dont want to pay, then they are welcome to use the takeaway and eat in the gutter.
PS. If you see me coming into your restaurant (excluding cheap places like maccas, or something) and I am on my own, then you are guaranteed $5 cash as a tip. If I am with my family, your guaranteed $12.50
I really hope that you wont spit or poison my food just because I wont pay 15%. But i hope you can understand that what i propose is much more fair, to both the buyers AND the servers. Just imagine, if everyone knew for a fact that they would pay a tip based on my system (easier to work out, easier to calculate) trust me, its a win-win for everyone.
In reply to Matt
Interesting Matt, I really think this is a good policy that restaraunt owners sould implement. Again, what you have above is not at all arbitrary and I really thing it is a novel idea. Applaus on my end. What you have is absolutely fair but at the same time prevents wait staff from “fighting each other” for tips. A simple system that works. I also like your $5 start and the $2.50 additional, as it would be unfair to simply go $5/person, as wait staff would continue to fight each other for the bigger tables, which would lead to bigger pay. $2.50 is good because obviously more people=more labor=more money required but it is low enough where a $5/only table is still seen worth serving. I like it very much.
It also allows for large parties to stay together. A lot of time due to restaurant policies, larger parties will split up between two tables to avoid the gratuity. What this does is it gives the larger party essentially a $2.50 savings. So instead of two tables paying $5 initially and $2.50 for everyone else, you only have one person paying the $5.00 while everyone else is paying $2.50.
Very easy, not arbitrary, very focused, it is a win/win situation.
Also btw, this should be placed on the bill (so below the tax you would see this $5 dollar charge).
Again, applaus.
Here’s the thing… Your in AMERICA now. And in AMERICA servers earn a living by getting tipped. This is how we pay our bills and feed out families. Maybe where you come from things are different, but unfortunately your not at home. Your in OUT home. OUR country. If you expect us to respect you you need to respect us.
Also, from what I gather from your name, you appear to be Indian. Let me tell you about your kind. You all march into our restaurants smelling like body odor & curry with your obnoxious children wearing expensive clothing. Then you sit in out sections, bark orders at us, talk down to us & leave a mess behind you while leaving a 5% tip And while I’m waiting on you, instead of a nice AMERICAN family who appreciates my service, it takes all my will power not to shoot your kids! How dare you talk down to us! A job is a job. Many of us are single mothers or college kids. We are all there for a reason. You are not better then us. In fact, this post just makes you sound like an asshole. If your not going to honor our traditions then go back to where you came from. People like you are the reason servers spit in your food. Cause believe me, you may not remember you server, but we remember you!
In reply to Amy Makalsky
You sir, are employing what is known as an ad hominem. Attacking the person making the argument instead of the argument itself. You have not stated why you believe tipping is right, nor have you attempted to poke holes in any of the main points made.
Basically it means that you have no rational reason for perpetuating the culture of tipping and are resorting to emotional tactics instead.
Well done.
In reply to Amy Makalsky
well Amy, i’m sorry, but you can cry as much as you want. I’m a consumer. Your life has no bearing on how much I voluntarily pay you. Please see Matt’s breakdown of things.
YOu have families? get a better job. I’m sorry to say it, but if you have a family, you should perhaps find a job that pays higher wages. It is not my place to directly pay you as a consumer. That is your employer’s responsibility.
Going to college? Perhaps you should have thought of going to a reasonably priced college before accepting a job that pays such low wages in the first place. I went to a State college and now make more than any of my Ivy League friends or others make. Perhaps you should have saved up your money before goign to college. Perhaps you should live with your parents. Dont eat anything except for potatoes and milk for all of your meals. Don’t have kids until you get your education.
I’m sorry to sound rude and harsh, but these are great alternatives. Don’t “bite the hand that feeds.” remember, as a consumer, I have no right to hear your complaints and you have no right to complain to me. What about the Best Buy kids? They also ahve families and go to school, yet they don’t deserve a tip (i tried to tip one but he absolutely refused).
Guess what? I’m American. I have the freedom to do what I want with my dispensable income. The establishment (restaurant) and I came up with a solid agreement as to how much I pay (that agreement is on the receipt). Everything else is up to ME whether that be 30%, 12%, pi%, or 0%.
Trust me, my nice “American” family doesn’t care so much for tipping as many other “American” families.
Bhagwad, again, I apologize for the ignorance that my countrymen continue to perpetuate. It makes me feel ashamed of such people. Please return to the US, as we always appreciate visitors and never talk down to anybody.
O and Amy, remember I don’t go to local restaurants. I purposely go to restaurants that I don’t return to simply because everybody in the industry is horrible at what they do. You’ll remember me only once, but i’ll never return again. You won’t have a chance to spit in my food in the first place. Good logic though ;)