It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Why do you choose to exploit the tipping system in this selfish manner??
I found this thread yesterday, and have been working through reading all of the comments starting with the most recent comments, and have made one or two already… I really just want to take a second to really laugh about the fact that “Common Sense” is clearly lacking this common sense, because he has spent a portion of the past seven months of his life following this thread and ranting on a subject that he feels so strongly about that literally has absolutely nothing to do with him. I would suggest finding something else to feel so passionately about. This is not a human rights issue, an enviromental issue, or any other kind of issue that requires anyone to do anything… tip or don’t tip it is your own choice, geez, there are bigger things to focus on in life. Oh and just a side note… I think if I knowingly had an appointment at the medical office he works at, I’d probably switch doctors because I’d be concerned about his ability to focus on his job when he’s so busy focusing on following this blog and on the jobs of servers.
In reply to Katie
I thoroughly find this subject very dear to me and I will always comment on it. It is simply one of those subjects that most people don’t want to comment on…the status quo lets call it. Back in the 1930s, blacks being put in the back of the bus was a non-issue. Well obviously we see such things as major issues. In Nazi Germany, people getting killed was a non-issue by the Aryan Germans, obviously we see that differently. To each his own.
As to work, I never, ever do anything but work during my time at my job. This is all on free time at home and why not? People read the paper? I follow this, what’s wrong with that?
Why can’t i be passionate about this subject Katie? Are you the judge of what we are supposed to be passionate about or care for? Some people enjoy collecting stamps while others view it as a waste of time. Why is this such an issue for you? Is this more of that sense of entitlement I see in today’s American youth?
I suppose the tyrannical ways of Western culture are true–“you have the freedom to do it your own way, if its done as how we say…” I cannot freely comment about my views about tipping without being persecuted, yes you read that right, about my sentiments toward a ridiculous system. If I was on this website the past 7 months stating my sentiments towards a more “pro” tip standpoint, you, Katie, would not be saying anything. The status quo is continuing. Rather than expressing freely my views, I am attacked by the very entitled children who do not realize that in the future, everything that they take advantage of will be gone.
Obviously my views are a lot larger than simply tipping, but these had to be stated in order to put things into perspective.
In reply to Common Sense
No it’s fine to each their own… But comparing blacks on the back of the bus, and nazi germany to a personal choice of whether or not to tip is beyond ridiculous. No one can tell you to tip, no one can force you to tip. Tipping or not tipping can more closely be compared to saying Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays… You aren’t forced to tip if you don’t want to do. There were real segragation laws that people had to abide by. You do not have to abide by any tipping norms, you will not be punished if you don’t. You not tipping is not the equivalent of you being a nazi, and servers feeling disappointed by your lack of a tip is not the same as anyone calling you Adolf. (and yes I get that isn’t the comparison you were making there…) Collecting stamps is a hobby, if arguing on a blog with servers is your hobby so be it.
And I actually would think it was a ridiculous waste of time is you were a pro-tipper arguing on this thread for 7 months as well.
I am not a “self entitled youth.” I am a 30 year old married mother with two young daughters, and I put myself through college with my serving job. Because I am able to work evenings in the restaurant I can have the best of both worlds, I can care for my children from the time they wake up until my husband gets home from work, and then I can go to work and still make a decent amount of money to help support my family. In my honest opinion this culture of self entitled youth you speak of stems from parents buying and giving kids anything and everything they want to compensate for the time they have to put them in the care of other people. Sure I expect when my kids are in school full time I will stop serving, but for the time being serving meets the job flexibility I need at this point in my life and in my family’s life.
And as for the you can do it your way, as long as it’s how we say to do it comment… I can’t speak for other servers, but I really honestly don’t feel like its that big of a deal if a table doesn’t tip because I know others will. I spent two years in Ireland after I finished college and held two jobs during my time there, one as a photographer’s assistant, and you guessed it, the other job was waitressing. I have worked in a culture/ country where tipping isn’t necessarily customary… But you know what? I was making €9 hourly plus any tips I received… A job I took knowing that serving there wouldn’t have the tips like waiting tables here would have. But unexpectedly I still ended up being tipped on average by at least half of my tables during any given shift, and therefore still coming quite close to what I would make serving here.
In reply to Katie
Katie, you are a respectful intelligent person and I will keep all of your idea on the top of my mind when posting. At first i thought you were a young yuppy kid like many of the others, however it seems from your post you are an experienced person that has been through the hard knocks of life.
Your discourse is admirable. We simply agree to disagree and that’s fine. I simply feel that as a person taht does not want to tip, I am treated as a genocidal maniac. You are correct, there are far worse things out there than not tipping, but just from what people have posted on this blog, you wouldn’t think so.
THe system, however, is flawed. Employers need to start paying fairly. Although minimum wage is ridiculous and should be abolished, employers need to look at what the market is doing and pay their employees within reason. The tippin system makes customers look like dollar signs and not people.
Also isn’t the tipping system arbitrary? Back in the 70s it was your sparge change. The 80s saw the 10% tip. the 90s saw the 15% tip. We’re now going into the 20% arena. What’s next, 35%? 40%? 80%?
You a piece of shit. Hope that money gets to go to your after life.
A bar man, I am. A victim of an unfair system? Far from it. Of course I encounter the occasional guest that absolutely refuses to tip, but they are few and far between. As a matter of fact, I’m usually capable (due to my undeniable charm and stunningly good looks) of completely reversing a clients bad attitude. As a result, I do astoundingly well (financially and otherwise) in my industry. I sat down two days ago and figured out what it is that I make per hour. Over the past three weeks I’ve averaged $27 USD per. Granted, certain times of the year this might sink as low as $15 per hour, but that’s nothing to complain about. The perks of my job are also outstanding! Just yesterday (my birthday) a lovely young lady left me her hotel room key and invited me to join her after I left work. Did I check it out? You bet I did! Was she married/engaged/etc.? I don’t care. All’s fair in love and war. And only a sucker plays the “good guy” and DOESN’T take maximum advantage of a system that is extremely rewarding if you allow it to be. Bhagwad, I highly recommend finding a job in the service industry. Your quality of life will improve and you’ll have a lot more fun.
In reply to Michael
Michael. You have clearly stated more that waiters make plenty of money and therefore do not require anyone to tip. It seems you use more charlatan means of earning money, (and I say that with no offense). Why the service industry? Why not the biotech industry? R&D? Engineering. They seem so much more meaningful.
The author of this post is a compete and utter moron. If you don’t like tipping, please…stay home. Restaurants don’t need people like you. You’re really just wasting everyone’s time and your costing your server money when you don’t tip. You said you prefer buffets anyway, so tell me why you continue to frequent restaurants? And last but not least, you say its an under skilled job, which just further solidified the fact that you’re an ignorant piece of shit. Cause you know…writing blogs is so hard. Ass wipe.
In reply to jenine
the last time I checked the main principle behind running a restaurant was to serve food…not just worrying about how much tip has been left..restaurants needs people who pay for the food being served, not there to make life of an employee by leaving tip..if you dont accept anyone who doesn’t tip why not put a board outside mentioning so…will save time of both!
In reply to Anjali
Ah but that will never happen because although the servers like to act as if they run the restaurant, they really don’t. Infact they don’t have a voice at all and that’s why you see them coming here and badmouthing whoever they want with cheap insults. The bitter servers know they are dispensable and that the restaurant owner can very easily find new servers at will because let’s face it, there will never be a shortage of unskilled workers.
The servers will never tell you face to face to not come to their restaurant even if you don’t tip them. That would get them fired. Its the customers that keep the restaurant running afterall. Who pays for the food huh? If you find a server is providing poor service, I urge you to complain to the manager. With enough people complaining the server will get fired. They really cannot use the excuse of a “non-tipper” to provide poor service although most of them are regurgitating that over here. At the end of the day restaurant owner is happy as long as he get his dough and that’s all that matters.
In reply to Andy
with this in mind Andy, perhaps the wait staff should unionize and protest against their employers. Lets say these wait staff members are some of the most excellent staff members. They go on strike. The employers hire other staff members to replace them. Obviously, due to lack of experience, they do a lousy job and receive complaints abound by customers. Don’t you think that the employers will feel a sting if they do not pay fairly or place some sort of auto-gratuity claus on the doors?
Wait staff are apart of a status quo.
In reply to Common Sense
This is what you are not understanding, Common Sense. Waiters will never unionize. Not many will admit to the truth but its because they earn a heck of a lot more with the tipping system. Just read the comments, some even earn over a $100/hr and even an average server can earn around $30/hr. Considering that why would they settle for $9.25/hr or whatever the minimum wage is in their state? It’s all about greed. Its more convenient & easier to instead whine about how difficult life is for them if every customer doesn’t tip them 20%.
Screw this. If they don’t want to unionize and demand minimum wage because they are too greedy, I will stick to my guns and not tip. It’s as simple as that. If you provide me shitty service, I will take it up with the manager. I already did it once and it didn’t end well for the server in question.
In reply to Andy
this is EXACTLY why tipping is a sham. People, such as our fellow commenters, tell us that “o, I only make $2.13/hour you HAVE to tip me” these guilt trips actually allow them to earn lots of money in tips. As you mentioned around $30/hour. There are SCIENTISTS WITH PHDS that don’t even earn that much.
Good observations Andy. It is all about greed.
I will quote you–“Its more convenient & easier to instead whine about how difficult life is for them if every customer doesn’t tip them 20%.”
Totally correct.
I will also stick to my guns.
In reply to Common Sense
Common sense-
If you actually had any common sense, you’d know that in a lot of places, workers CAN’T unionize. It’s called “Right-to-Work”. And it’s all your fault. You’re obviously a republican, so you vote for republican politicians. And these republican politicians are the ones who implement Right-to-Work laws. By continuously voting for them, you’re making unions illegal. Then you go and tell servers to unionize so they’ll get paid better.
You know they can’t unionize in a lot of places, but you ignore that and assume that they refuse to, so then you get judgmental. Enough with the hypocrisy, it’s ridiculous.
In reply to Fuck the Right Wing
Wait a minute – you’re saying it’s illegal for all the wait staff in a restaurant to get together and threaten to quit unless their wages are raised? Bullshit.
Call it what you want, negotiations are a vital part of any business dealing. If waiters are unhappy with their wages, they can band together and demand better wages – unions or no.
In reply to Fuck the Right Wing
By the way, you’re flat out wrong when you say that the “right to work” bans unions: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right-to-work_law
In reply to Fuck the Right Wing
bro, i’m not a republican, nor am I a democrat. I tend to vote for guys like Kucinich or other libertarians. You are absolutely, way off base about the right to work. IT DOES NOT ban unions. In fact, it is ILLEGAL for any employer to prevent unions from forming. Come down here to California, Every workplace has those right to unionize placards.
The reason wait staff aren’t going against this tip status quo is because out of whatever reason, tips allow for wait staff to make more and be taxed less. It is very easy to get away with not reporting your tip earnings through the IRS, i’ve seen this first hand. Essentially wait staff bring home more with the tips. Also, it is easier for employers not to give out certain benefits. Its a status quo issue.
Andy observed on this very board that many wait staff members make up to $30/hour on tips. That in itself show me that tipping is a sham and that the tippees are charlatans.
I’m so glad I work in a tourist town, where we can put auto gratuity on any cheap ass Indians, Europeans, ghetto black people etc ;) Everyone knows that Indians don’t tip… most of them anyway. I feel sorry for you. I hope you don’t have any children. There’s a McDonalds on just about every corner- take your sorry ass over there, and grab a BigMac.
In reply to Meg
wow, i suppose the Klan still needs some more members. Better sign up.
i hope i never have YOU as a customer at my restaurant. i read your rationale for not tipping, but you seem to be missing some key information here.
1) servers in the US don’t make minimum wage – they often don’t even make half of that – because the IRS classifies them as tipped employees. because of that, restaurants can get away with not paying them a decent wage – because the tips usually make up for that deficit. and while that isn’t your fault, you should know that because servers are tipped employees, they are taxed not only on their earnings, but their actual sales. that’s because when they make a sale to the customer, it’s assumed that they’ll be collecting a gratuity on that sale. so if you don’t tip them at all, you’re actually taking money OUT OF THEIR POCKETS.
2) servers may not have cooked your food, but unless you’d like to go to the back of the house and haggle with the grill line, prepare plates, check steak temperatures, or dress the salads yourself, servers are the reason you’re getting anything at all when you go out to eat. you are paying them for their service. if you don’t like that, then there are hundreds of fast food joints you could eat at that won’t require a tip from you.
3) nobody’s going to spit in your food for undertipping or not tipping. servers get fired for even suggesting that they’d consider that in many places. that said, it’s still a temptation, because when you’re bending over backwards to make a customer happy and comfortable, you expect to get something in return. you can’t talk back or get any kind of revenge against those who run you ragged, yell at you on the floor, or otherwise treat you like dirt. but DECENT PEOPLE DON’T TREAT OTHERS LIKE THAT, PERIOD!
4) servers aren’t at all “unskilled” – their jobs include money handling, manageing the seating flow to the restaurant, coordinating orders with the kitchen staff and the expeditors, splitting checks, following up on special orders, carryout orders or catering services, proper wine service, etc. and if you think any of these tasks is easy, then go ahead and try it yourself – maybe there’s some fine dining place that’ll accept you with NO experience, but my guess is you’d get laughed out of any starred restaurant for saying you should get the job because it doesn’t require any skill. that’s just freaking insulting!
— bottom line is, i hope i NEVER see you in my restaurant. not only is your attitude about tipping incredibly disgusting, but you’ve proven with your comments that you’re just a crappy, mean person. i suppose it could be cultural, but here in the USA, we pay people who serve us – these are the people that make sure that we’re safe and comfortable and well-fed. eating out is a luxury, as is the service we’re getting. don’t want to pay? then don’t get served. but don’t make it feel like it’s the servers’ faults for wanting to be paid for the job they do.
In reply to andrea
i suppose it could be cultural, but here in the USA, we pay people who serve us
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
You do know that maids are payed about $2/hour right? Farm workers are paid about $1.50 an hour. and this is the united states. Please get off of your high horse.
Wait staff agreed to a low wage and they should live with it. There is no legal ramifications for me not tipping.
Why don’t we tip cashiers? The nice lady at Macy’s? The nice lady at Wal Mart that was helping us buy our AR-15? The nice man at Foot locker helping us buy our shoes? They make minimum wage. Why don’t they deserve tips.
Why don’t you tip your EMT when he takes you in an ambulance? It is illegal to do so, did you know this? They only make about minimum wage in LA county and maybe $9/hour in OC.
All of your points go against every piece of fiscal reasoning i have ever seen. Please take some economics classes. It isn’t about “being nice” to people. Its about consumerism and capitalism. Thats it.
See if there were a system that allowed me to go to the grill line, check the temperatures of the steak, etc i would but guess what? Your industry monopolized a system where I CANNOT do something like this. Therefore as a consumer, I can SUE YOU for ANTI TRUST LAWS. Ever hear of that?
Decent People? The US has the highest theft, arson and murder rates in the developed world. Please spare me the decency stuff.
As far as other people go, compared to real jobs such as business men, lawyers, doctors, nurses, and sewage treatment techs etc., waiting on people IS unskilled. Anybody can serve, face that. People have been serving people with little to know training for millenia. Anybody can manage seat flow. Anybody can carry a plate. Is it hard work? Absolutely. Is it skilled? Nope.
Medical doctor–thats skill
Lawyer–skill
Nurse–skill
Teacher–skill
REAL Salesmen–skill
Business owner–skill
CEO–skill
Not all of us can acquire these jobs and make lots of money, so guess what? You will make little money. That is how capitalism works.
Also here in California, all wait staff make minimum wage. So does this mean in Califoria I don’t have to tip? Why does no one answer this question?
As a waitress, there are many I have come across who I have waited on with the same attitude as the op. Fortunately, he is in the minority, one of his choosing. I do not pretend to be nice, it is me. I genuinely enjoy my profession. On another more fortunate note, alot of employers are adapting the attitude of putting the gratuity on the bill, because of people like him. The op, does not realize wait staff wages are regulated not by the employers, thus showing his ignorance in his reasoning, it is regulated by the minimum wage regulations. Sad, it is that one assumptioj he knows all when he really knows nothing of the culture he steps into. Almost like people assuming they know his motive for coming into a country that he obviously has no respect for their customs. What is your motives op? One can only assume by your attitude which is not a very friendly one.
In reply to Debbie
Customs? We used to have a custom where Blacks would go to separate bathrooms. You want to have your cake and eat it too huh? During the time that TIPS were invented (late 1800s) it was still legal for 9 year old to work in industrial factories. That was the CUSTOM. Wanna revert back to that?
Wait staff ARE regulated by employers. Minimum wage is minimum wage. You said it yourself–it is regulated by the minimum wage regulations
Guess what? Wal mart staff make minimum wage. Why don’t I tip them?
Employers can do whatever they want. They don’t HAVE to pay only minimum wage. They can pay $9/hour. Please spare me.
Id like to piss all over your face and then kick you. Fuckin tool
Tell you what , next time you go into a restaurant with table service be brave enough to tell the server that you don’t believe in tipping. Do it on his initial greet, not at the end of the meal. See what kind of service you get.Don’t complain to the management, after your meal is over either.
In reply to MO
Umm…do I tell the walmart cashier that I’m not going to tip him either? What concern is it of mine how much the cashier is getting paid for his job?
I have a better solution – why doesn’t every restaurant put up a sign requiring customers to tip instead? Or just add it to the bill and I won’t mind. As long as it’s in writing and I have to legally pay, it’s ok with me.
In reply to bhagwad
Your not talking about wal mart cashiers, you talking about why you don’t tip servers.
In reply to MO
There’s no difference between walmart cashiers and waiters.
Both are employees of the business. Both do their jobs as their employers demand of them. I don’t know and neither do I care about how much walmart cashiers are getting paid. In the same manner, I don’t care about the waiter’s financial compensation either.
Waiters are deluding themselves if they think they’re not employees of the restaurant in which they work doing a job that they are required to do.
In reply to bhagwad
If you think there is not a difference between walmart cashiers and servers, well your just showing your arrogance or maybe ignorance. You brought wal mart cashiers into the discussion. Again I challenge you to go dine out at a restaurant with table service and up front tell the server you don’t believe in tipping. Then come back and telleveryone how that experience went.
In reply to MO
And again I’m telling you the onus is not on me to make my stand clear. By default we don’t leave tips to any employee of a business we patronize. Only waiters seem to think they’re exceptions to this rule. Well, I’m not buying it.
I see you’ve completely ignored to provide any logic for your argument that walmart cashiers are different from waiters. Well then, at least admit that your stand is emotional and has no basis in logic. We all have irrational ideas and it’s no shame to admit to having one.
Just be up front and open about it.
In reply to bhagwad
All are employees of a business. All should receive whatever pay they agreed with. wait staff agreed to $2.13 at times, it isnt’ the consumers fault they are fiscally irresponsible.