It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
you people are hilarious! If I Pay the Waiters, Waitresses and Staff, by definition it means that you work for me. I want my food done a certain way. I’m hiring you for the night to give me my food. I love that you treat me, your other employer with respect but what I pay you is what I pay you. You won’t demand extra money from your boss if you were working a normal office job. So don’t do it here. I understand you’re under paid but it’s people like you begging for tips that give the restaurant biz a bad name.
you will never understand unless you have been a waitress or a waiter. and we do more than just bring u your food. we clean everything and all have different jobs to do before our shift ends. it really is HARD work. people who have never really had to be on this side will never understand. if ur such as asshole to where u cant help the person who is bringing u all your special shit u want when u eat JUST ALITTLE BIT… THEN DONT EAT OUT.
Waiters should just be paid a regular wage and tips should revert to being optional.
Couple of things that bother me greatly in the servers logic in the comments.
1. Food prices would double\triple\skyrocket whatever. The general idea is I’ll be paying more.
But wait, I’m already do that if I tip 10-20%. Then let’s look at it closer. A lot of responders here claim making 60-80k with 40h week with 20% tip. That’s 30-40$/h. So explain ho is it going to triple the food price if your wage is bumped from 2$/h to the minimum wage of say 9$/h ? Looks to me like the price of food for the customer is going to go down.
2. A lot complain that minimum wage for them is 2$/h and that I should feel sorry for them, then turn around and brag that they REALLY making is anywhere from 15$/h to 50$/h. Huh.
3. Tips based on % of order doesn’t make any sense to me. Say customer A orders a 10$ plate and customer B ordered a 100$ plate. Waiters job at serving these too are the same and they both need to tip 20% to not be “cheap” yet customer A pays 2$ extra and customer B – 20$ extra. FOR THE SAME WORK. To me that looks like waiter just scammed customer B for 18$. What an amazing con culture.
4. Servers are not freelancers that hang around a restaurant, they are employees. Your deal is with your employer, he determines you duties and compensation. Otherwise I should be able to bring whatever freelance server I wish, I’m sure I can find a decent one who will be willing to do the job you do for less than 20%.
5. As for 2$/h wage. You negotiate a wage with your employer about what your services worth. If you come to the agreement of 2$/h than you BOTH agree that that is the value you bring to the business. Law forbids them to pay you less, but nothing is stopping them from paying you more if they think you worth more. I make more than minimum without any law forcing my employer to do so. Maybe your amazing one of a kind waiting skills are not as valuable as you think. Wait … you agree to the 2$/h, so you think it too.
This whole tipping thing just seems like a big scam to cheat customers out of their money and shift the blame from employer to customer if employee is not payed more than his wage.
In reply to AndrVet
I would like to comment on your above rant… Servers pay the IRS based upon their sales, “tipout” to other employees such as bartenders, food runners and bussers get payed out based on the amount of the sales… If every customer would be as ignorant as you are no server would make any money… People like you are better of eating at McDonalds or other fast food chain where tipping is a place in China…
In reply to Nicky Goodson
cooks, busboys and hosts make 1% off the pooled tips in most places. My girlfriend is a hostess and walks home with a 23 dollar tip out every 2 weeks, im sure she wouldn’t miss that if you got rid of it…
In reply to David
My buddy is also a chef at Jack Astors, where some servers are making on average $200 a night in tips, and he brings home maybe 60 bucks every two weeks. Servers are mad greedy, its simple. Explain how the chef, the main reason EVERY SINGLE CUSTOMER is in your restaurant when you really break it down, gets shafted and its made to seem like the servers are what keep restaurants afloat?
This article hurts to read and the comments below are even harder to read. I had no idea that people were still this ignorant. This has thrown my whole day off, so I have to put in my two cents.
First of all, it’s “server” not waitress. It’s 2014. That term disappeared with stewardesses.
Also, a few people mentioned that servers should just get a pay raise, it’s not “your job” to pay us. But it is. You picked a restaurant that you dine at. Did you walk up to register and order your drink and food? Did you get an empty cup to fill yourself? Did we ask you to throw away your garbage on the way out? No.
Of course tipping is optional, but there is nothing that brightens my day more than seeing 20% on a check and Knowing I did a good job! If you liked the service you received than give at least 15%. I tip well when I go out to eat because I know I will make their day. Not because I have to. Not because “I’m responsible for their pay” but because I appreciate what they did for me. Yes, it may be in their job description, but it’s in your job description as a human to be pleasant. That 15-20% will not break your bank account, you won’t even remember most likely, so why start a riot over something so simple!? And if it will break you that’s okay! Just be pleasant. However I do believe that if you don’t have money you shouldn’t be eating out. Grocery shopping will save you a fortune.
You tip nail techs, hair dressers, bell boys, valets, and even those who work on your car (it’s included). You tip them based on their service. If you don’t tip them and return, they aren’t going to be as helpful. This isn’t bribery, it’s common sense. If someone doesn’t appreciate what you do for them, then why turn around and help them once again?
If you’re a decent person, than tip if you’re not, go to subway or wherever. We could care less because your ten percent isn’t worth trying to steal the smile off my face.
How about all you cheap asses stay at home get your drinks yourself get your food yourself and condiments as well! Yes we don’t get paid enough hourly but we get tipped and we rely on that to make a living! If you have a problem tipping stay at home or go to mcdonalds and order off the dollar menu if your worried about your money or a self serve restaurant! It’s called being polite! I still tip even if I’m not financially set but that’s my problem not theirs. Let us treat you with respect, take your orders and do everything you ask especially if you’re a rude customer we will still try to make you happy! But please do us a favor and keep your lousy ass on your couch.
In reply to Olivia romero
But it’s the servers’ job to get food and clean after!! That is why they were hired!! I must say the writer made valid points. You can’t make people “polite” just because you think it is the right thing to do!! I can say the same argument to you.. if you’re not going to do your job right and expect that some people have different prospective than yours and they won’t pay tips, then may be you should keep your ass on your couch!! I want to add that I am a student and I do tip more than%10 whenever I have extra. And by extra I mean money because I am often broken :) but MAN your argument sucks!!
I haven’t been a server in five years, but I’m shocked.
I’m not going to lie. Serving was the best (and hardest) job I ever had. I did it for four years, and I actually miss it until I remember people like you. Luckily, most people not only have common sense and manners, but are kind. I made pretty good money, despite my $2.13/hour salary (which meant my checks were always $0 after claiming that and my tips), simply because I was great at my job.
Would I have treated you differently if you came in a second time after not tipping me the first? No, that wouldn’t be what I should do for my job. However, I do have to admit that out of all of my tables, you would be my last priority if I were busy. I also admit that I would tell every other server in the restaurant about you… and they might not be as kind as I am when you come in the next time.
After serving, I worked two customer service jobs. One was residential customers over the phone. That was so simple that I would roll my eyes when people complained. Of course, some customers were over-the-top rude, but I got used to that in the restaurant. The other was large business customers over the phone, email, and in person. My coworkers would complain about how rude the customers were. They would complain about how busy and stressed they were. I wanted to tell them to try serving for a month — no, not even that long — a week. People are more rude than you can imagine, and the fact that you’re unappreciative of the service you receive (assuming it is good service) makes it worse. Like I said, I loved my job, and generally loved the customers. However, sometimes even I would get disillusioned with people and my job even though I’m the most positive person I’ve ever met. It’s not an easy job at all; it certainly isn’t as you describe it. During the rush, I would have 100 things to do — all of them RIGHT NOW. I wish serving was as easy as an office job! Hell, I wish it had the same salary, too, if I’m wishing for things!
Perhaps you should re-evaluate how you treat the people who go out of their way to make sure that you have a good night and a good experience. Perhaps you should try serving for a little while. You’d have a new perspective if you were on the other side of the table.
And yes, I do kneel down at your table as I greet you so we’re at eye level. I’m not trying to be your best friend. I’m trying to be accessible. That doesn’t mean you won’t get your food as soon as it’s up.
PS: I’ve never met anybody who spit in anybody’s food. Not one person. Honestly, there wouldn’t even be an opportunity to do it if somebody wanted to. And no matter how rude you were to us, none of us actually wanted to.
I would explain it in other way.
1. I dont think 2.19 per hour is enough for any human being
2. Other countries service is included in the bill which is 20% for sure
3. They made it up to customer to put tip in percentage to make sure your server have been serving you as good as possible. And it does not mean you are doing favour for server by paying for service
What’s the big deal? Another foreigner who doesn’t tip…
Hey, at least this one speaks English enough to order without pointing..
Thank you! someone who gets it! I refuse to be pushed into giving someone my money because their employer wont pay them enough. I will give a tip if I feel like it. You as a waiter or waitress have no right to my money which I worked for just because you have a lousy job which doesn’t pay you enough there is a reason why food at serving restaurants are more expensive than ones in which you do not get served, the food costs more because of the service.