5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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12,129 thoughts on “5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter”

  1. I am a server and whoever wrote this is that typical asshole ( to put it nicely and I apologize ahead for my language but its irritating how some people think) who obviously is every servers worst nightmare. I make 2.35 AN HOUR. the rest of my pay is what I make in tips. I have gotten ZERO dollar paychecks because of taxes taken out of my pay. I have bills to pay, I need $$ to put gas in my car, and I need $$ for food. So scum fucks like this low life who wrote this have no clue what its like to literally work for your money. The servers who are “too friendly” to you are actually people who can put their real lfe problems aside and be that extra nice to you and make sure you enjoy your stay. So complaing about that? HA. Wow. Step foot in my shoes for a day, ull be crying at the end of your 12 hr shift having a lot more respect for servers.

    Reply

    • In reply to kris

      Tipping is a form of corruption. Wait staff should be treated as professionals and be paid a good salary or a good commission… not forced to essentially beg for money.

      That said, I’m not going to hurt wait staff just because the restaurant industry is corrupt. Until proper wages are mandated by law I’m forced to tip as a matter of ethics.

      Reply

  2. So you know, going to a restaurant is a luxury and a choice. You’re saying that you don’t feel the need to pay a little extra for those who do the work for you? If you hire a gardener or a cleaning lady do you not pay them? It’s the same thing, except pay is based on a percentage, not a timed rate. It’s someone doing their job so you don’t have to. Most good servers interact with their customers. It’s called having a personality and being social. If that’s not for you then stay home and microwave a cup of Ramen Noodles with your hermit self.

    …You know I could go on with how invalid and inconsiderate everything you said was but I feel like this is one of those situations where having no consideration for other people is going to outweigh any valid argument and reach an understanding.

    AND FOR ALL YOU SERVERS OUT THERE:

    I’ll have a salad. No croutons, extra tomato, dressing on the side. What’s your house vodka? I’ll have a vodka and club with a slice of lime. And a water, 3 cubes of Ice, no lemon. And when your’re done taking care of that 15 top with the 3 screaming children and oblivious parents, could you put in an fried calamari appetizer? Also, it’s my son’s 15th birthday. Could you round up about 5 of your coworkers and sing “Happy Birthday” to him when our dessert comes? And one question, I’m severely allergic to almost everything imaginable so what do you recommend? I’m not very hungry though so I’m sure I’ll have a lot of leftovers that I’m going to need you to wrap up once you’re done separating our check 5 different ways.

    Thanks. You’ve been very helpful. I know you make 2.35 an hour but I don’t think it’s necessary to tip because that’s not fair to me. I just want to eat, but I don’t want to put any effort in. You’re jobs easy though so you’ll get over it. Sorry. ;)

    Reply

    • In reply to DJ

      If I was put in your shoes, you are right. I wouldn’t last 12 hours. I would quit and walk out in the first ten seconds and find a job that can at least meat the federal minimum wage laws.

      “So you know, going to a restaurant is a luxury and a choice. (Not a fact, just an opinion) You’re saying that you don’t feel the need to pay a little extra for those who do the work for you? (The little extra money one would pay is in the overly inflated costs of the food) If you hire a gardener or a cleaning lady do you not pay them? (Not relevant, the original topic is tipping, not salary) It’s the same thing,(no it isn’t) except pay is based on a percentage, not a timed rate. It’s someone doing their job so you don’t have to.(They do their jobs because it is their job to do so) Most good servers interact with their customers. (that is their choice to do so) It’s called having a personality and being social. If that’s not for you then stay home and microwave a cup of Ramen Noodles with your hermit self. (First, you do not microwave Ramen Noodles, you microwave the water. Second, this is a very assuming and ignorant statement which does little to prove a point, if any even exist.)

      …You know I could go on with how invalid and inconsiderate everything you said was but I feel like this is one of those situations where having no consideration for other people is going to outweigh any valid argument and reach an understanding. (Your first error is that you admit to arguing, rather than debating. Secondly, you once again argue from ignorance and make unprovable claims and accusations about others. Maybe if you worked somewhere that paid minimum wage, you might be able to educate yourself a little more.) “

      Reply

  3. So you know, going to a restaurant is a luxury and a choice. You’re saying that you don’t feel the need to pay a little extra for those who do the work for you? If you hire a gardener or a cleaning lady do you not pay them? It’s the same thing, except pay is based on a percentage, not a timed rate. It’s someone doing their job so you don’t have to. Most good servers interact with their customers. It’s called having a personality and being social. If that’s not for you then stay home and microwave a cup of Ramen Noodles with your hermit self.

    …You know I could go on with how invalid and inconsiderate everything you said was but I feel like this is one of those situations where having no consideration for other people is going to outweigh any valid argument and reach an understanding.

    AND FOR ALL YOU SERVERS OUT THERE:

    I’ll have a salad. No croutons, extra tomato, dressing on the side. What’s your house vodka? I’ll have a vodka and club with a slice of lime. And a water, 3 cubes of Ice, no lemon. And when your’re done taking care of that 15 top with the 3 screaming children and oblivious parents, could you put in an fried calamari appetizer? Also, it’s my son’s 15th birthday. Could you round up about 5 of your coworkers and sing “Happy Birthday” to him when our dessert comes? And one question, I’m severely allergic to almost everything imaginable so what do you recommend? Also, I’m really not hungry so I’m sure ill have some leftovers that I’m going to need you to wrap up once you’re done splitting our check 4 different ways.

    Thanks. You’ve been very helpful. I know you make 2.35 an hour but I don’t think it’s necessary to tip because that’s not fair to me. I just want to eat, but I don’t want to put any effort in. You’re jobs easy though so you’ll get over it. Sorry. ;)

    Reply

  4. Of course tipping is optional.

    Of course they’ve accepted a low paying job in the hopes of getting tips to make up for that.

    Of course they should be doing their job regardless.

    But it’s nice to tip. It is nice. You don’t need to be nice. You can be a misery dooder who scrimps and scrapes for his every penny but still somehow justify going out to a restaurant instead of shopping at the thrift store or damaged goods warehouses.

    You don’t have to be generous. No one is forcing you to be considerate and friendly.

    The restaurant is an atmosphere. It was created for customer service and friendly waiters and waitresses, and themed, goofy wall art. If you aren’t feeling any of that, why did you go? Didn’t feel like cooking at home or having to do a lot of standing or walking in the kitchen? If you want to avoid human contact, I’d suggest not sitting down in a full room of strangers all sitting at tables eating and chatting.

    You chose to go to the restaurant, a public area with a theme and an atmosphere, and you have chosen to not be nice. They get people like you all of the time. You don’t need to tip, but it is nice to do so and I go to a restaurant to experience it. I don’t go just to order, sit miserably in my own little world pretending it’s my dark, quiet dining room at home and ignore the atmosphere. You’ve wasted your time and your money.

    Order take out, go home and sit there alone.

    Reply

    • In reply to Peej

      Tipping is “nice”? Sure, why not! I mean…giving money in general is nice. Giving money to random strangers is “nice” too. But you don’t do it. Giving money to walmart cashiers is “nice”. Being “nice” is not a good enough reason to do something.

      Reply

    • In reply to Peej

      People may go to restaurants for, you know, the food? The type of food you can’t get at a fast food joint, or maybe don’t know how to cook themselves. It’s not about avoiding human contact, it’s about avoiding having to pay extra for “human contact” when it’s apparently apart of the “atmosphere”.

      Why is it that a smart consumer who sees the flaw in the tipping system is automatically assumed to be scraping money, or have to shop in a thrift store? Money in the bank is better than throwing money around because of a social obligation.

      I haven’t chosen not to be nice. Thats just an assumption again. I am ALWAYS pleasant to my servers, never give them a hard time, and don’t abuse them like a lot of people (even the ones who tip) do.

      Also, I will not go to a restaurant if I am miserable and am going to “sit miserably in my own little world”. I go to a restaurant to eat, so it would not be a waste of time and money if thats what I got out of my experience. You’re serving us our food because your employer is asking you to, therefor the responsibility of compensating you fairly is on them. I see it like every other form of employment, you do your duties and get compensated fairly by your employer. People who choose not to tip aren’t miserable people, they’re just smarter with their money than you, so they can still go out and enjoy the restaurant atmosphere just as much as you. If I want fast food I’ll get fast food. If I want restaurant food I’ll go to the restaurant and pay the extremely inflated prices, which are set that high to cover company expenses (such as employee wages).

      Reply

  5. I live in Beverly Hills CA and refuse to tip. I am better and more important then any low life waiter or waitress. If you don’t like your unskilled ridiculous job, too bad. Not my problem.

    Reply

  6. I think before writing anything (shit) like this one should put themselves in the others’ shoes.

    This article has been written by a rather cheap Indian guy who is not used to tipping culturally.

    I’m originally from India myself so I do understand where he is coming from. But, at the same time, you’re in a different economy with a different cultural norms.

    We don’t tip waiters there because the employer (the restaurant) pays fairly to the waiters and not the shitty $2 tipped minimum wage like it is in the US. I do not like the idea of tipping (And hate tipping CAB DRIVERS esp. who “expect” tips with lousy service and are audacious to ask you for it) but I always, always tip waiters rather decently (15%) if not generously, so do my parents.

    Waiters REALLY don’t make anything. Oh and if $2 are over a 100 bucks in your currency then you’re better off staying off the US, in your home country, man.

    Reply

  7. This is why, as an Indian-American, I hate Indians. Yes, your system of being cheap and ignoring the working class works out so well in India. And you wonder why there’s open sewage in the streets, everyone (including the rich) get sick all the time, and people are rapist losers.

    Reply

  8. This is the same classic Indian attitude that leads to people simply walking by while people rape, molest, and abuse people. And simply will never understand etiquette or class. Or wear deodorant.

    But the best is when they complain about other people who travel to India not following their etiquette rules. So I know what I will do. When I go to India the next time, I will try to cheek kiss every woman, I’ll curse in people’s faces, I will bump into old ladies to get where I am going. Oh actually, the last two happen in India all the time. And you wonder why civilized Indians leave for the UK or US.

    It is etiquette to tip at a full service restaurant. If you don’t want to pay it, eat at the many places that don’t have full service.

    Reply

  9. Of coarse look at who this article was written by..the worst tippers. I would have bet a year salary that the article was written by this person. They typically are the most rude pain in the ass tables that have you running around all night to maybe leave a 10% tip. if you dont want to tip dont go out to eat, my waitstaff makes 2.13$ and hour and your selling me they dont deserve a tip. your out of your fucking mind. order takeout if you dont want to tip. i would tell you to order delivery but then youll cry about the $2 you have to give the delivery driver , because gas is so cheap they should just drive it to your house so your lazy ass doesnt have to go out and do it all in a rush for free right? i would love to meet the “author” of this article in real life. Typical Typical Typical, anyone in the hospitality industry knows exactly what im talking about. http://www.bhagwad.com sounds just like a guy who stiffed one of my servers last night. people like that as going to rot in hell. most of them make 100k+ a year and cant leave $5 for a full time college student trying to make money to eat and go to school at the same time.

    Reply

  10. I hate this tipping system. It’s flawed. Why should I pay more than what’s written on my bill? I’m so fed up that I don’t eat in restaurants anymore. Since then, I have more money in my pockets (about 2 grands more a year), I eat healthier food, I don’t get food poisoning anymore and I’ve developped myself some cooking skills. If everybody else did the same, you waiters would be out of a job in a second and without any degree and skills, you’ll get your ass on food stamps haha. And since I don’t get tipped for my services as tax consultant and that waiters backmail people for not tipping, I take pleasure in screwing some waiters’ tax returns because by law where I live, you are responsible for your tax return, not the person who filled it. To you all waiters and bartenders, fuck you and have a shitty day while I jerk off in all the money I didn’t give you this year :)

    Reply

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