It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
If this is how you feel, why don’t you try telling your server upfront. Then they can use their time on people who do actually appreciate their service. Just be prepared for rude, slow service, no refills, no pride in process, and little check back because if all you view your server as a conveyor belt then why would they view you as their guest? I would hate waiting on you never mind being your friend…. Sounds like you don’t have many.
this has to be a troll, and well done sir. Over 7k comments and a shitload of hits. It’s pretty brilliant; Take something common place,like tips, that could have a viable amount of silent dissent (and lets face it every one is a “tough guy” behind a keyboard). At the same time it would have a very large, HUGE, amount of support because, many of the proletariat have been paid 2.something$ an hour and had to support themselves at some point; They realize a lot of the nuances that people who haven’t served don’t think about. So if you put forth your argument in a snide practically sociopathic way, you are bound to get a shit storm of attention. Any one with empathy understands the need to tip at least something.
I am finding it difficult to even find a place to begin with this comment. Just so you know, this will not be a rant against you, or about how much of an asshole I think you are. I’ll leave that to the angry servers. I have an excellent server job and work at a restaurant that the chef would kick you out of the next time you walked in for previously stiffing me.
Let me start by saying that I believe that both systems, tip and higher employer wage, are viable. The non-tip system works just fine in Europe. However, the idea that the cost of food won’t rise significantly is ridiculous. I’ll break it down for you.
I have been in the service industry for roughly ten years. In the restaurant that I currently work I average $40 per hour in tips. Granted, it is a slightly more upscale and hip restaurant in NYC, not your average Chili’s or Applebee’s. The reason that the chef of this restaurant hired me is due to my skill (yes skill, being good at this job isn’t unskilled as you so put it, because I’m sure to hear it from you if I make even one single mistake whilst you are dining with me). It is also due to my food knowledge, ability to read guests, and everything else that goes along with being a great server. My average shift is roughly nine hours in length. The restaurant pays me $3.50 per hour now, with a difference of roughly $37.00 per hour coming from customer tips. Simple multiplication will show that those 9hrs @ $37 will contribute to an additional $333.00 per shift per server in labor costs that the employer must incur. This is as opposed to the 9hrs @ $3.50 equaling out to $31.50 total.
If you were to go to a nicer (I say nicer because I want to be clear I’m not talking chain restaurants here) restaurant, and order a $40 steak and a $75 bottle of wine (for yourself, I assume you dine alone often based on your original post; not a judgement, simply an assumption) do you really think that you will get the same level of service from a minimum wage employee? You just won’t. And, I can prove it by telling you to go to McDonald’s and see if the service is the same (sorry McD’s). Having worked the management side, the general manager side, and the service side of a restaurant, I can tell you that paying a server an extra $37 an hour would increase the cost of that steak and wine by more than the implied 20% gratuity that you should leave the server. Instead of a $115.00 +tax (depending on state/city) bill, you will be saddled with a $140-150 bill at least. That is also being conservative to lean in your favor.
Now, granted you said that it wouldn’t bother you if it were on the check and you knew what it was you were paying for. My question is though, if the ends are the same what does it matter? You will be paying it regardless. All that not tipping in a society that deems it socially appropriate does is make you out to be cheap and willing to screw the next guy simply because you are able to and have a “reason.” I honestly wouldn’t mind changing systems over to the European model if it meant that people like you would either be forced to pay their due.
I could touch on every one of your “reasons,” but it’s not necessary. We’ve all seen the movie Reservoir Dogs and love the little speech given by Mr. Pink, but this explanation of basic math alone proves you wrong. Unless of course you want McDonald’s service to go with that $40 steak.
Look. If you have a problem with us customers not giving you an award for your services. Please. Go take this problem to the federal court. We only want to eat. We appreciate your “extra” services, but so long as carrying your job out is concerned, we think they are all extra. We want food in our stomachs, and your job should only entail you delivering us our food. That is it. If you think that printing out the receipt, decorating our plates, and cutting up lemon slices to be placed on our water cups is extra service, you should probably talk to your employer and consult the federal system about that. We thank you, but that is not necessary. And I understand that the level of service has risen a bit, because the customers themselves believe that they are entitled to extreme service – those who think that they need that lemon slice, or they will sue. They have been spoiled to the point of no return, and there is no obligation on your part to bring them back a sense of humbleness that they get to eat in the first place. You should certainly not feel like you are enslaved when you are working. And we don’t know your circumstances that brought yourself to take on the job of being a waiter or waitress. But please don’t place the blame on the customer simply because they don’t tip. It is simply their choice, and it is optional, like most of you admitted. You are absolutely not entitled to feel offended when they do this, per it being optional. We know you are having a hard time making living wages, but it is true that you are paid minimum in the case that you are not paid your tips. If we believe that you have certainly gone out of your way to make sure everything is comfortable for us, we thank you, even if it was not necessarily for those who did not ask for such service. But please don’t expect anything. We did’t ask for it.
In reply to youve
Listen to all of you cheap jerks lol. We as servers do so much more than bringing food. If you have never been a server than you have no right to tell us what we do on a daily basis. We keep your tables clean. We (more likely than not) prepare your salads, soups and drinks. If you want you food fine. But every time you send me back and forth for a different fork (because the silver is tarnished and it LOOKS dirty, even though I know it is warm from having JUST come out of the dishwasher), you are making it harder for me to wait on my not-so-cheap good customers. You don’t want to tip? Your choice. But we can’t make the government raise our minimum wage. Be a normal human being and help a waiterout.
In reply to youve
If it’s that big of a principle to you that you’re standing strong about, then have the balls also to inform your server BEFOREHAND that you won’t be tipping them. That way you accomplish two things: 1) you give them notice ahead of time ago they don’t need to do all those things that you claim are unnecessary in the process of your service, and 2) you don’t look like a cheap-a$$ coward for leaving without a top, aftertaking their best service under the false impression that they might receive additional recompense.
It’s really that simple, and that much common courtesy. You want them to leave you alone? You want them to not expect a tip for working hard for you? Then let them know they don’t have to put in their best effort. You’re still going to get your food served to you (eventually).It’s only right that both you and you’re server go into the symbiotic relationship knowing only you are getting something out of it. If that’s what you want, then yyour server should by right have control over what it is you get out of the experience.
In reply to youve
You did ask for it, by walking into an establishment that has people wait on you. If you prefer not to pay for that luxury, stay at home.
(If you CAN afford to pay folks to wait on you at home, well, good for you. That is awesome. I will come to your house for dinner. But if you cannot, (like most of us), and you CHOOSE to be waited on, then pay for it.)
I will end-note this with the fact that yes, there are cultural discrepancies. Unfortunately in the US being a server means being an indentured servant. And it would appear that “if you don’t like it, get a different job” is a viable option.
I wish it was.
I really wish it was…
In reply to yousomeday
Really? Indentured servitude…
1) you make no less than minimum wage, and by all accounts of servers on THIS site, many of you make (even accounting for all those crappy cheap customers whos food you bring cold and congealing with a side of spittle (read the comments, SERVERS have claimed that they will spit in your food..sick)) upwards of 300 dollars a NIGHT…hardly seems like indentured servitude, now does it?
2.) You can quit anytime, no one will hunt you down, drag you back, and whip you. No one will strip you of your rights and your dignity and refuse to allow you to learn to read or write so that you cannot figure out when your contract should have ended.
Maybe it feels like the type of indentured servitude or even slavery that happened with a “good” master, who made sure that his slaves were well fed, decently clothed, lived in little cottages that didnt leak, had their own little garden plots and didnt sell their families, where the only drawback seemed to be that they were not free to leave (which many of them did not have any desire to leave so it was a moot point) except that, as pointed out before, you ARE free to leave…(and if you are a bad server or work in a cheap family restaraunt and are NT making the wages that many here are claiming they make and instead are making minimum wage on a job where you may be getting minimal hours and you are trying to make that your only job and income, you may WISH you were an indentured servent or slave in one of the above scenarios, but that is neither here nor there.Its the economy stupid.
Here is a clue. You guys keep telling people, if they cant afford to tip, and tip WELL, they should not be going out… well, in this economy that might be a lot of people… as youve seen from some of your tippers, so here is a thought. If those butts are not in the seats, what is going to happen to your hours? If the restarant is only a quarter full, do you think your boss can afford to keep you on at all?
Seems like most of you are making better than minimum wage as things are, cheep tippers and all, and perhaps you should be grateful you HAVE a job, when many dont, and are currently living off their savings, like me. I am currently disabled and am not going out ANYWHERE but some of you would even begrudge me a pizza because i cannot afford a good tip. (and im talking delivery WITH a delivery charge!) Well some nights i hurt so bad i canot get out of bed, and even when i can get out of bed, it is hard to cook on crutches, so i guess by your estimation my children and i should simply starve…nice.
As ive said in other comments, usually we do pretty well, and i ALWAYS tip well, even when the service could be better. I never penalize the waitstaff when the food sucks, unless it is COLD and sucks, because THAT means the waiter let it sit after it was completed, so unless i get an apology or the place is crammed (i can understand things like that, having been a waitress myself when i was younger.. think i may have served Nero, so my minimum was quite a bit lower than yours lol)
I said i wasnt gonna respond to this anymore, because frankly the OP is a dick and i disagree with pretty much everything he said, BUT a LOT of the servers here in the comments have been complete dicks as well and seem to have NO work ethic, NO pride, NO self respect, and NO respect for their employer…that makes me sad.
It is about the bottom line, but “TIPS does NOT stand for ANYTHING, the whole “to insure prompt service” nonsense is totally made up. A tip is simply another word for a gratuity, and a gratuity is just what it sounds like. A sign that we are GRATEFUL for the fact that you went out of your way, above and beyond your job description (because your job description, which DOES include “sidework”, serving the food in a timely manner, refills, courtesy, etc, just ask your boss, these arent “extras” that you can simply decide not to do if you are satisfied with minimum wage and dont want to work hard enough for a tip, unless your boss is an idiot, NOT doing your job is a good way to lose it)
And frankly, there are too many people out there who WANT to work, to keep someone on who does NOT want to work. The “whats in it for me” attitude of your generation (and the “me” generation of your grandparents) are a major part of the problem in this country. Too many people thinking they are “Entitled” to other peoples money. You are only ENTITLED to money that you EARN. And in any sane reality you cannot EARN 10-20 dollars ON TOP of your wage by spending on average 10MINUTES smiling, chatting, and bringing prompt refills to a table.
Therefore that money that you often receive is a GIFT, and throwing a hissy fit by not doing your JOB for your EMPLOYER, because a customer did not give you a GIFT (and actually quite an exorbitant one at that) for whatever reason, whether it was because he didnt want to, couldnt afford it, or didnt believe you had given him exceptional service (which is the condition upon which a gratuity is based, EXCEPTIONAL service, above and beyond, not normal service, which is called DOING YOUR JOB, which you get PAID FOR already by your employer at the agreed upon rate, which is NEVER below minimum wage, thanks to the laws that force your employer to supplement your wages to bring you up to the minimum.))is immature at the least and criminal at worst.
The other arguments against a european or japanese system are because servers KNOW that even with dead beats, poor tippers and no tippers, they STILL make WAY more than minimum wage by and large, and that they often do NOT declare most of those wages so they also pay a lower tax rate and you get money in your pocket every night, which makes life easier sometimes (unless you are bad with money and tend to spend it as soon as you get it) but that is all random extra info that doesnt really pertain to the point.
One of the reasons i am disabled is that i have a mylin sheath disorder, it causes the covering of my brain and nerves to wear out in spots so my thoughts dont always connect in ordered patterns, so i am easily distrated and ramble.. plus i cant sleep for crap and havent slept tonight so i apologize for my deteriorating writing and spelling skills. I will go back and try to break up the block of run on sentances into digestable bites… but hopefully i made SOME sense.. i used to be quite intelligent heh.
Look. If you have a problem with us customers not giving you an award for your services. Please. Go take this problem to the federal court. We only want to eat. We appreciate your “extra” services, but so long as carrying your job out is concerned, we think they are all extra. We want food in our stomachs, and your job should only entail you delivering us our food. That is it. If you think that printing out the receipt, decorating our plates, and cutting up lemon slices to be placed on our water cups is extra service, you should probably talk to your employer and consult the federal system about that. We thank you, but that is not necessary. And I understand that the expectation on the level of service has risen a bit, because the customers themselves believe that they are entitled to extreme service – those who think that they need that lemon slice, or they will sue. They have been spoiled to the point of no return, and there is no obligation on your part to bring them back a sense of humbleness that they get to eat in the first place. You should certainly not feel like you are enslaved when you are working. And we don’t know your circumstances that brought yourself to take on the job of being a waiter or waitress. But please don’t place the blame on the customer simply because they don’t tip. It is simply their choice, and it is optional, like most of you admitted. You are absolutely not entitled to feel offended when they do this, per it being optional. We know you are having a hard time making living wages, but it is true that you are paid a minimum higher than 2 dollars in the case that you are not paid your tips. If we believe that you have certainly gone out of your way to make sure everything is comfortable for us, we thank you, even if it was not necessarily for those who did not ask for such service. But please don’t expect anything. We did’t ask for it.
In reply to youve1
If you don’t tip, servers loose money because we have to tip out other people. Plain and simply you are a cheap bastard and shouldn’t be allowed out to eat. Sorry that you are a spoiled prick who had never waited on a table in his life. Go take your nasty face to McDonald’s.
It seems like you’ve had bad experiences with restaurants and their waitstaff, and I sincerely apologize for that. I understand not everyone has the money to eat at a restaurant that provides quality food and service. So here’s a tip, if you don’t want to tip, order food to go. Or go home and cook it yourself.
This this article is incredibly offensive to those whose earnings essentially comes from tips. We work hard at what we do and for you to trivialize the role we play in restaurants? It is incredibly frustrating. And, by the title and focus of your article, am I right to assume that if I were a bartender you would tip me? (Assuming you’ve interacted with a bartender before?) You also cite your experience of being a shop floor manager giving you the authority to say that servers are unskilled. That’s like saying because I have experience as a surgeon, lawyers are unskilled. Please, get some experience under your belt as a waiter and then judge all you want. Servers are responsible for communicating to the kitchen what you want as your meal and to the bar what you want to drink, as well as bringing those items to you. In addition, their job is to ensure that for the rest of the night you are comfortable and well taken care of. And that is only for the brief time you are in there care. There is a plethora of other jobs they have before, during, and at the end of their shifts.
I can memorize a table of eight’s order – from drinks to apps and salads to entrees. I can carry three scalding hot plates on one arm and juggle a pepper mill, extra plates, steak knives, and whatever else is needed to complete your meal in the other. I go home every night at 11pm or even 12 and crack open my books. Because I’m a college student who works as a waitress. I love my job, and am proud of what I am able to do at my job. Maybe it isn’t much. Go ahead and belittle what I do. I love my customers (for the most part) and I love my coworkers. I’m blessed to have such a lovely “work” family and I can only hope you’ll one day understand how I (and many others) feel about working as a server and come to respect that role as we do.
In reply to Chen
“So here’s a tip, if you don’t want to tip, order food to go. Or go home and cook it yourself.”
Ok , I (very slightly) see where you are coming from, but lets say people took your above advice and did skip out on your restaurant and your numbers fell say 25-30% what would happen to you? no hours ? no money period? hmmm, you need me (customers) in order to have a job.
I usually tip pretty well, more for females than males (they usually do a much better job catering)
this past Saturday I had dinner with a few buddies bill was $357.21 I tipped her $150(In cash)
she was attractive, funny but forgettable and my Glenfiddich 12 was literally never empty (come to think of it I never even asked for a refill, she just made it happen) Biggest sell of the night was when I was leaving, she asked “Are you sure you meant to leave this much” to which I replied “by all means, you earned it.”
I have a feeling that you my friend don not see that, because you believe that you are entitled ….and you’re not.
Everyone can argue until they are blue in the face. The fact of the matter is that if the restaurant had to pay a decent hourly wage, excellent service takes a hit. Without negotiated wages, enough service to keep the job is what you’ll get from the majority, who do it to pay the bills, while about 10% seriously enjoys the job. It’s a fact that if your stance is that you don’t want to tip at all, you will run the risk of anything from bottom rung to being refused all together, because you’ve negotiated $2.13/hour, even less with tip-outs.
Additionally, t’s not even remotely realistic to expect servers to get political in a showdown with restaurants -their employer- for higher wages. Such a showdown is called a STRIKE, and the very un/under-insured people who live shift to shift to pay the bills will never take such a risk just so that the customer can justify bucking the system.
You have to be the biggest joke ever. I cannot believe you even wrote this giant pile of bullshitthe next time iI do go out to eat im going to tip double just because of assholes like you. Spit in ur food? Ive been in the rrestaurant buisness 8 years never seen someone spit in a customers food. Befoe you talk this kind of shit work a day in there shoes see how long you last. I hope when day im face to face with you so I can have the biggest laugh of my life.people like you who have your kind of mentality seriously need a reality check. So whoever you are really go fuck yourself
You are a sad and pathetic exucse for a human. Your rant is not intellectually or even eloquently stated but rather the oh so easy Internet equivalent of a toddler pitching a total fit. Might I suggest you change your web address to asswad.com?
You walk 50 feet from the kitchen to the table. You think that is worthy of a 40 dollar tip? Fuck you I went to college and earned a degree so I can affored to eat at expensive restaurants. I don’t give a shit what your life story is I am not your employer thus don’t bother me for a tip.you earn 2 dollars an hour. Fuck you I don’t care.