5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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12,129 thoughts on “5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter”

  1. I think I actually lost brain cells reading this. If you don’t want the server to chit chat you then go to flipping McDonalds! In a reasturant it is a servers job to make you feel at home and relaxed and waited on. Yes it was my choice to make $2.63 an hour but guess what, it was to put myself through 4 years of school. I don’t have rich parents and in order to pay tuition poor kids have to work full time as a waitress to pay for that full time tuition.You need to get off your high horse.

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  2. To the one’s who can not afford to tip, I ask only for respect and a thank you. For you tightwads who are to cheap to tip, karmas a bitch.

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  3. Okay first off, to the people who say that we have a choice of making less than minimum wage… That’s true. Minimum wage isn’t enough for someone who is paying her way through college so she doesn’t have to have student loans which is where the tips come in. Being a server is a personal choice and I love it. For everyone that has “big dog” careers, you work hard for your paycheck, and so do we. How would you feel if… Let’s say you went to college, put in many hours to pass all your classes to get a simple piece of paper so you can do bigger and better things. That’s how servers feel. We go to work, make sure your experience is fantastic, at most, just in hopes that at the end of your experience we get that little piece of paper so that we can go off and do bigger and better things with our life eventually. Again though, I love being a server… Not a servant. If I don’t get a tip, I don’t spit in anyone’s food or make them wait extra long the next time they’re in my section. Although, if you have me running around like a chicken with its head cut off, you better believe that I will print out your check faster than you can saw “waitress” and start snapping your fingers so the minute your give me your cash or card I don’t have to refill your drink or bullshit. To the people that say that some jobs have more “man hours”, all I can say is that all jobs have risks. The next time you have nothing to do: pour some water on the floor, fill a tray with about 10-15 pounds of plates, left that onto your shoulder and try not to slip. Not easy is it? Also yes, you are correct when you say that we don’t cook the food or make your cocktails but guess what, we give those people a portion of the tips we make. I always have wanted to have the non-tippers serve for a week (especially Saturday’s) when we come in Friday nights, get home around 12-1 then have to be back at work at 10-11 to work a full 11-12 hour shift with almost no break and maybe A meal. To conclude everything, I’d also like to add that “salaried” workers get a holiday bonus. What’s our bonus? Tips.

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  4. You are truly the scum of the earth.

    In England, what would be the tip to the server is included in the menu price. Servers are paid more, and this is reflected in the price. This is English culture right?

    This article is the equivalent of going over to England and demanding that, not just the restaurant, but the ENTIRE CULTURE reduce menu prices just because this outsider is not okay with how this given service industry culture runs in regards to server pay and menu pricing.

    I’ve worked in the service industry for over a decade, I think cheap pricks like this should be beaten in the streets, or fed to bears. Being upset with how a service industry culture runs is fine….boycott it, write your senators, complain to corporate, hell even do a funds raiser to bring awareness to what you disagree with…….
    …….but going to the restaurants that you have a fundamental conflict with, paying for the very service in question, and screwing over the single mother who is struggling to keep a roof over her head? how does that make sense? When you go out to full service dining, use a bellman at a hotel, valet your car, or have a pizza delivered, you KNOW these employees work for tips. There are different social accepted ranges of tipping depending on the service and quality of service, but this isn’t a new practice?!?!? This practice has been around for a considerably long time.

    Why use the service you’re bitching about in the first place, AND effectively do nothing but FURTHER FUND the businesses by paying for the food and service….oh ya, all at the while at the expense of the hard working tipped position employee who has NOTHING to do how these businesses operate and influence their given culture. You’re a disgusting piece of work sir.

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  5. If you don’t want to tip, don’t got to nice places to eat. get take out, or go to McDonalds. Before i ever worked in restaurants, i tipped well, by many standards, i over tipped, greatly, and still do. I find it gets me better service all around.
    For example, my favorite burger joint in town may try to go out of their way to satisfy me as a customer, but at the nicer restaurants, its the hope of a healthy tip that makes your server motivated to make sure your happy. They’ll answer any and all questions you may have about the menu, accommodate to likes and dislikes, allergies, hell, theyll even help you match your entree to your alcohol.
    When i eat out, i wanted to be treated like a member of a private club. I like when the employees learn my tastes, and go out of there way to offer me new things, or twists on the regular menu. its quite enjoyable. And its a service, that I am more than willing to pay for. And the better it is done, the more I will pay.
    As for England? this is not English culture, this is the USA, where it is, and almost always has been the custom to tip. food costs will skyrocket if servers are to be paid regular minimum wage. your service from them will suffer, as there will be less of them to serve you. when a business can pay their employees 2 something an hour, they have the ability to put more of them on staff and ensure great service. so by all means, if you receive terrible service, tip accordingly (which is sometimes 0%), but if you choose to go out for a nice meal, and are well taken care of, and you don’t tip, its best you hope you don’t get the same server next time. Spitting in someones food, although not unheard of, is very uncommon. But don’t be surprised if you wait 20 mins for drinks, and another 20 mins to place an order.
    I know very few servers who will be kept up at night by you not tipping them. Fact is, if they like their job as a server, chances are they generally make very good money for their time. But they will spread the word about you, and it may be in your best interest to eat elsewhere if you’re not going to tip.

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  6. Whoever wrote this almost had their heart in the right place, if they had one anyway. The real problem isn’t that this author is so antisocial that you CAN’T STAND someone saying “Hi! My name is ____ may I take your order?”

    No, the real problem is closest to the second point that illustrates that these people don’t make enough. You might think it’s not a problem that they don’t make enough, but it is when you look at the number of food service workers there are, how little they make, and how that negatively impacts the whole economy. This is directly caused by employers who don’t pay well and try to have the customer pick up an extra portion of it.

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  7. WHEW! I am so glad not everyone thinks like this man/woman who wrote this article.
    Don’t worry my fellow servers and bartenders, or anyone who lives off of tips: everything evens out in the long run, even if one or two people don’t tip you that night :) That goes for karma too!!

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  8. Spitting that hatred explaining your justifications for not helping your fellow man?

    One thing I don’t see in your analysis is a subjective experience of which to base your expert analysis… ever been in the food service industry?
    It doesn’t sound like it… and trust me, I know you don’t care.

    Sound like a bankers kid. Bragin’ about not helping “I can. And I will.” smh

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