5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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12,129 thoughts on “5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter”

  1. why not just title this “5 Reasons Im an asshole who will NOT tip you, and even if I decided to, it would be with the change in my pocket”. You are the worst kind of person and I seriously hope you do not breed. You are a piece of shit and any woman you take on a date to a restaurant is sure to see what an asshole you are. If she doesnt, marry her instantly because finding another woman as big of a douche as you are, will be a miracle. You sir are a complete IDIOT and no nothing. You obviously feel as tho you are above anyone and should NEVER go out to eat. Even college graduates who cant find a job or used their money being a server to pay for that degree are serving you your food. You should be the one cleaning the bottoms of their shoes instead of putting them thru the aggravation of waiting on your pathetic ass. Interesting how you find the need to publicly announce what a piece of shit you are tho. Just proves the douchebagery. No one thinks youre funny or cool. You are an asshole. Please make sure you tell the waitress/waiter this the second you sit down so they can adjust your service accordingly. I can guarantee you if you spout off this bullshit, they will make sure not to talk to you, make friends with you or do anything to go out of their way to be nice to you as if you were an actual decent human being. And just because you are such an asshole that you actually EXPECT them to be spitting in your food, doesnt mean they do. That just proves again that you really are that big of a douche. PLEASE DO THE WORLD A FAVOR AND NEVER GO OUT INTO PUBLIC.
    Sincerely,
    Everyone else in the world

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  2. I agree with the OP on this. He brings up some good points and honestly I don’t have the money to be tipping anybody when I decide to eat out. I’m a college student who is paying for school, rent, etc. It’s really not my problem. You guys don’t have to get mad at him it is immature and you can do what you want with your money and tip all you want but don’t try to force me because I have a different take on the issue. Go ahead and stand tall and fi your self with pride because you tip well. It’s your own choice after all.

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      • In reply to Jillian

        how is he entitled? He is paying for the food he ordered right? If need be, he could go get the plate from the kitchen himself and completely ditch the waiter, then your role would be pointless right? And what if all people who don’t believe in tipping decided not to patronize the restaurant you work at. Then guess what, the restaurant would lose money from the food that THEY PURCHASE and you would be out of a job anyway. At least you make a minimum wage check if you don’t get any tips (you get paid $7.25/hr at least ($8-$9.00 is California) if you’re tips don’t equal the equivalent of minimum wage when factoring in the hours you’ve worked).

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      • In reply to Jillian

        WTF? so what, I should start tipping cops after they’ve given me a speeding ticket because they’re underpaid? Or maybe tip a car salesman if I don’t buy anything for wasting his time working on ZERO Dollars an hour + commission?? The only entitled prick I see here is you, thinking the words customary and proper etiquette mean obligatory! you don’t like it, go work min wage at McD! some of us are ALSO trying to save money for college.

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    • In reply to Rick

      Well here is the simplest answer I can give all of you. DON’T GO OUT TO EAT! There is the dollar menu at McDonald’s that you can order off of (:
      And another thing is it a not the business that chooses how much you are paid hourly it’s the state.
      Also me being a hooters girl I can tell you there is more to it than just bringing you food. You are to interact with your guests, fulfill their needs, get them drinks, clean up their mess, make sure they leave wanting to come back, and to make sure they have a wonderful experience over all.
      Being a waitress is what pays my bill and honestly those who don’t tip should get terrible service go be honest with you. That’s just like me saying you shouldn’t get paid fully for doing a job because it’s not that important or you didn’t invent the item you’re making..

      Think about that before you guys go out to eat somewhere you should be tipping. You chose to go there and get the service.

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  3. Oh boy, an internet troll! Hey everybody, come and look at the internet troll! See it, over there? Let’s all put on our happy faces while we point and laugh at the internet troll!

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  4. You should tip for anything that you are too lazy to do yourself.

    You take a cab, tip the driver.
    You don’t feel like finding a parking spot, tip the valet.
    You don’t want to bring your bags up to the room, tip the bell hop.
    You don’t want to make your own food, tip the waiter.

    It’s pretty simple, and if you cant afford to tip, you shouldn’t be using these services when you could be doing it yourself for much cheaper/for free. Most of these people get paid dick, so you should help them out for helping you out.

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    • In reply to I’m better then u

      Obviously you’ve never been a server. You have to know the entire menu, the ingredients of each dish and how it’s prepared, know the POS system backwards and forwards, deal with coworkers, do side work, and keep asshole customers like you happy. And not just you, but the 4 other tables in your section as well. Yes, obviously there are much harder jobs out there. But I’m sure there are harder jobs out there than whatever it is that you do. Tipping is a standard at US restaurants with waitstaff. If you aren’t prepared to tip, stay at home and serve yourself.

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  5. THIS ARTICLE SUCKS AND MISLEADS PEOPLE.
    IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO TIP THEN DON’T COME OUT AND EAT. COOK YOURSELF, CHEAP ASS.

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  6. People who don’t tip shouldn’t go out there is so much people in this world that are college students ,kids still in school that are helping out at home .. yes you are right tipping is your choice. But when it comes down to you wanting something to eat and you are soo thirsty you need your server to get you a drink right away .. its us that take that time to make it your best visit and to get you your damn beer as soon as you last sip is up .. if u come on and demand to have your burger pink but don’t to red or bloody and your salad to be all Roman and no iceberg don’t eat out ..

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  7. And this my friends is why I charge an 18% gratuity fee to EVERY Indian couple / party that walks through my doors. On top of this I dont listen to their special requests, I dont pay them any attention, and I dont tell them anything interesting about the place they are visiting. They get substandard service because I know its what they want, and what they are willing to pay for! Because my restaurant is high end we rarely have foreigners come in and when we do we slap an 18% gratuity charge on them… Why because this is fucking America and we can!

    So, Congrats Dipshit! You are not only making everyone think your cheap, but consequently your entire race. I have met Indians that tip well, but Ive also seen a solar eclipse that turns day into night. Both happen with the same frequency.

    P.S. We get down on one knee and talk to you like our friend because we want you to be comfortable dining at our establishment. Not because Im trying to work you over for another 5%… Do you think anyone is like well that waiter got down on one knee so I should give him extra… NO… let me tell you NOONE thinks like that. We act like your friend because most of us in the service industry genuinely like to talk to people and share our restaurants culture. But your too busy getting into a rage shitfit because Im acting like you actually matter to me… Another reason to treat all Indians like shit when they come in… Its what they want! :)

    Again Congrats on making your whole race look like inferior cheap ass hats.

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    • In reply to Matthew

      That’s just racist dude, you are a terrible person with terrible business ethic. “Because this is America and we can!”; you can also give heroin to young kids but it doesn’t mean you should. Asshole. He’s not making himself look cheap, or “his people”, he’s making himself look conscious of his spending. What you’re doing, on the other hand, is making yourself look like a complete asshole and a bigot. You’re not making your people look that way, just yourself. If you base a complete race off of one persons blog post then you look like the inferior ass hat. Gratuity can’t be forced on anybody or else it isn’t a gratuity, its an added charge that I would flat out refuse to pay even if I intended on tipping in the first place. So yeah.. all in all you seem like an absolute piece of shit and a racist

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  8. spot on. most americants (sheeple) cannot understand a real wage concept like every other big boy country–whereby the workers actually get paid real wages, real benies, real protections. in the faeces house, you have to deal with crapitalism and their incessant need to have dogs eating dogs–so their employer can get away with severely underpaying for services. Circling the drain. Do not tip. Have your cheapie americant employer pay you. Dig it cheapies.

    Reply

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