5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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12,129 thoughts on “5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter”

  1. You people on the “I don’t tip” side don’t get just how insulting it is. Imagine if you had to smile and laugh at their stupid jokes, make their salad, carry their food, get their to go drinks, all while being happy and keeping all 6 of your table’s orders straight. Yes, as a server, I don’t “deserve” your tip, but that’s kind of a piece of my soul I’m sticking out there for you, and if you stiff me, you’re essentially telling me to go fuck myself. It’s incredibly insulting. I like talking to people, learning about their lives and making them laugh for an hour, and if I do that for you, you can spare a couple bucks to not ruin my day. I would do the same for you. That’s just how I see it though.

    It just boils down to trust. I trust you enough to be nice to you, and hope you aren’t going to fuck me over in response. Fortunately there are enough generous and genuinely interesting people out there to keep me from losing my faith in humanity.

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  2. Do you understand what the point of a restaurant is? The point of a restaurant is a place you go for great food and SERVICE. The main reason people go to a restaurant is to be waited on by a person (who yes gets paid by your gratuity) that takes care of your every need and cleans up your mess. If that isn’t why you are going out to eat then why don’t you just order take out? Because restaurants do allow you to pick up food, but the fact that you are eating in the dining room means you are there for the service and not just the food. So just remember next time if you don’t think tipping is apart of going to a sit down restaurant then order take out you ignorant dumbass unless you want to get your drink, your food, and clean up your mess. You’ll do all of us a favor by not having to wait on someone who doesn’t appreciate the things we do for you.

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  3. The only reason to not tip is for a rude waiter. Even if the service is bad, it is not always the wait staff’s fault. Maybe tip more for a good waiter or waitress, but you should always get something, because these people don’t usually make minimum wage, and are basically working for tips. And don’t just say, get a better job, because times can get tough, and it can be hard to find decent work. Most of these people work waiting jobs because they don’t have any other options, or are in school and don’t have a degree to work anywhere else.

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  4. Anyone who actually agrees with this can take their happy rears to mcdonalds and get a happy meal. Lmao or better yet go spend a month working as a server then speak your opinion on if it’s real work or deserving of tips

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  5. This guy seems like a party! Not someone I’d want sitting in my section lol. Probably a hermit who hates going out and is an aaahole to everyone around him. The only reason I’ll pray for him at night is in hopes that he’ll grow a heart one day or a better attitude lol

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  6. Just like your face, your opinion is insignificant to me as a server. For you to post this self-righteous, pious opinion is futile, hilarious, and severely misguided. First, shame on me for reading your banter. Alas, this is the bane of our existence with the advent of social media…I’m intrinsically forced to listen to your whole thought. Tipping actually is a city in China yet also it has become a staple of American dining. Here’s the real low down on serving: you are a servant to society, some revel in their position, some despise every swallow of life in the republic. Either way, everyone enjoys my personality, vim, vigor and whit regardless of the slop you came to shovel in your stupid face. I can turn a mediocre cheeseburger into your own personal “center of attention” highlight of your day. You’re there for sustinence out of the norm and I’m there to butter the “bread” from the dough you say you’ve worked sooooo hard to earn. I choose to place myself in a position to never contradict you, treat you as royalty for half an hour, and move on to the next set of random people that I will quickly flush from my memory. The caveat, unlike your narrow-minded opinion of the individual actually performing a perfected American artform of subtle subterfuge in your presence, most servers of caliber are intelligent enough to hold degrees, have worked many jobs., and have concluded that easy money from the common folk for a bit of acting actually pays more than “working a shop floor”.

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  7. if you’re so against tipping, maybe you should refrain from
    Going to restaurants and go to the grocery store, buy your own food and cook it your own damn self. Restaurants are for convenience and enjoyment, a big part of which is you not having to do any of the work because other people are doing it for you. You’re the kind of person servers like me hate- our job is to greet you, make you feel welcome and make sure you enjoy yourself and your meal. If that’s too much for you to handle, stay home. This is just how tipping works in the United States, if you don’t like it don’t go out to eat or just leave the country, I’m pretty sure no one would miss you and your self righteous attitude that makes you think you’re better than your server. We work hard for our living just like everyone else.

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  8. So at first reading this I thought this guy is a bloody prick, an a-hole beyond a-holes, but there is some merit to his statements. We live in a society wear we think we deserve something. In a Restaurant Servers feel they deserve customer’s appreciation, and many customers feel they deserve to be handled a certain way. It’s this mentality of feeling like everyone owes you something that causes the underlying problem. I can say I tip roughly around 20-30% because my parents raised me to tip well and never not leave a tip. I find the interest in this article is that the author seems to blame servers for their “incompetence” to understand his undesire to pay your hourly. While the servers blame him for his egotism in that he feels nothing for their struggle. To me the problem lies in society. You don’t go to a regular place of business and have this problem. The worker is paid a wage and the customer receives good service in whatever way they want. Yet the restaurant industry manages to put all the pressure on their employees and customer while collecting a profit with minimal hassle. If you are upset by this man’s opinion maybe it’s time to make the minimum wage laws include restaurants. And if you are a person who agrees with this man, well maybe it’s time to speak up. I think a minimum 15-20% gratuity added to checks is fair for services rendered. And to those of you who made this more personal than necessary. Shame on you his sexual life should never have been brought into this. Had a man made comments equal in caliber to some of the statement made by you feminism hell fire would be thrown. We are equal and are entitled to our opinions. So think before you attack someone’s personal life over an opinion. Honestly he has some merit to his remarks on restaurant owners, but fumbled in his hostile delivery.

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  9. Waiting tables is a retarded job for retarded people which is why it doesn’t even make minimum-wage. If you don’t like it get a real job stupid. I’m not going to tip you for bringing me food I paid for.

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  10. You could’ve just made it ONE reason.

    1. I’m a piece of shit who should probably learn to cook my own food.

    When you go out, do you go and get the food from the kitchen staff, deal with assholes like you, refill your own drinks, clean up your mess when you get done stuffing your fat face?

    Nope, but the waitress does.

    Learn to cook your own food you fucking leech.

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