It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Hi, I am a bartender, we get paid under minimum wage. I work my butt off to make sure you and your friends enjoy the best possible cocktail… not only do I stand up for 8 hours straight and listen to people throwing their pieces of depressing life stories at me but I comfort and love the customers who visit my bar. Life isn’t all about money but when you expect class A service and a class A attitude you need to treat those bringing it to you in the same way. I work extremely hard to feed me and my children… if I treated you poorly I would not expect any type of compensation but I never treat guests in my establishment other than in the highest regard, and I expect you to treat me the same way. And in this society that means tipping.
I 100% agree!!! i wait tables while going to college, as every other waiter i suppose, and i make $2.15, an hour. all of your points are very valid. now let me tell you something that as someone who obviously has never partaken in a service industry job you probably don’t know. THEY MAKE US ACT THAT WAY. i don’t want to be your friend either, in fact if i saw my customer from earlier that week on the street i would not recognize their face because i purposely forgot it. trust me outside of work im not that friendly anyway. but the dopey waiter act aside you dont tip me to bring you food, or because i dont get paid enough, i have never messed with peoples food (i hope no ones messed with mine), you tip me because im an excellent waiter, i know as soon as you walk in what you want to eat, or i can help you decide, i suggest what i would want with that, giving you options you didnt think about. your drink never goes empty and you will think im reading your mind when things appear on your table you were just about to ask for. i also am the last stage of food prep. do you think the illegal workers in the back care if your food isnt quite right, no they dont, they care that their inventory matches up with little loss, they dont want to make you another veggie fajita plate if yours is under-portioned or burnt, i make that happen because my livelihood relies on it. you come to me because mcdonalds cant get your order right anyway and i offer perfection, i constantly run from when i get there to when i leave. im working harder for the money in your wallet than you, because tho i am educated i am merely trained as a waiter, your training allows you a comfortable living behind a typewriter judging others, though i dont presume to judge you for that. im in debt up to my ears trying to get to where you are and when i do i will remember industry standard is %15. thank you for leaving a picture of yourself so if i see you in my restaurant i can kindly refuse service as i dont work for free. ps this text is riddled with errors, i know
keep not tipping, eventually the waiting business wont be so lucrative anymore and all the good waiters will move on. good luck when the only people taking your order are in the double digit IQ range
In reply to Jacob
Maybe then people will start making their own meals at home and get healthier. All while whining, begging, fake waiters/waitresses are out sleeping on the streets or forced to get an education. Win-win.
Congratulations ! My comment might be the 1001 st !
I have given this discussion some attention and i agree with Bhagwad on this. The waiter is doing what he is already paid to do. The service is included in the money we pay to the Eat out. There is absolutely no need to tip a waiter.
Brittney has answered my question. Since I am a California resident and California employees ALL make minimum wage, it is official. I now can tip 0% here in California.
Thank you Brittney.
Here’s a fucking idea, why don’t we banish restaurants all together and have everyone learn to cook their own food! Problem solved!
In all seriousness, all of you are saying that it’s not your responsibility to tip the server and all this hogwash about not being educated and they should not work (below) minimum waged jobs. Well if EVERYONE went to universities then no one would be wanting to wait tables because they are just “too simply educated for that job”. If that was the case it kind of points back to my first sarcastic point of how restaurants should not (and could not) exist then.
If all servers picketed for higher wages then no one would be left to tend to tables since they’d be all out on the streets with signs.
I guess all of us who work or have worked as servers should just demand that 20% of the bill should be added automatically in ALL circumstances (not just 6-8 or more people, but even if just one or more!)
In reply to Shut up
i agree. 20% should be added, this makes it legally obligatory for teh consumer to pay.
Again, we are speaking about LEGAL ramifications.
Now again, Brittney has made it clear that I do not need to tip here in California, since the wait staff already make minimum wage.
As long as i’m in california, from here on out, I shall no longer tip. Please convince me how or why I need to tip in California.
In reply to Shut up
“why don’t we banish restaurants all together and have everyone learn to cook their own food! Problem solved!”
Or…you know…an entrepreneur can come up with a brilliant idea to cook people’s food for them and present them with a bill.
Oh wait.
In reply to bhagwad
Well apparently that causes too much of a problem according to you.
It’s ridiculous how some people think that individuals who work in retail or the food service live to serve others. You’re being given power in deciding how much to tip your waiter, yet you decide to be cheap and not tip at all. Our American culture on restaurants allow customers the ability to decide if they received good service or not. If you received good service, you can tip the waiter well. If the server was rude and overall bad at their job, you have the power to tip poorly. If tip was automatically included in the bill, I bet you would be complaining on how little power you have at deciding on how well the service was. How about America just changes the rules and automatically includes a 20 percent tip on your bill? Would you prefer how our culture does it now, or being FORCED to leave a tip?
A good rule to live by is: If you cannot afford to tip or you are unwilling to tip, don’t go out at all! Cook yourself your own food. YOU would not be willing to work for free, so why basically make others do it? You would not serve strangers food while trying to be pleasant for free. A lot of waiters and servers are putting themselves through college.
In reply to salwon
If people were forced to pay for an additional 20% for the service of waiters/waitresses, not only would the waiters and waitresses treat us like shit (even more so), many restaurants would go out of business because of it. Resulting in you finding another employer, or being unemployed living on the streets. I don’t care if many of you are paying for college, that is not my problem and customers shouldn’t be guilt tripped into paying you money because you play the “college-card.” If the restaurant shows us that a waiter will serve us, without requirement of a tip, then I will take advantage of that nice restaurant’s policy and use it. How can I know that the price of the food wasn’t bumped up already to include wages for the waiters? and that my tip would be additional income that may not be sufficient for the service provided. Plus, quality of service is subjective. Therefore, if the waiter was trying their hardest, but was still only performing at a rate of 3/10, …at the end of the night you are going to bitch you got stiffed… but your service was lacking so in all reality you didn’t get stiffed. Then you whiners come online and bitch bitch bitch. Anyways, I’m done for now:)
In reply to Jendel
If you’re consistently treated poorly by servers, it’s not them, it’s you.
In reply to salwon
You’re insane!
Apply what you said to ALL other occupations. Mandatory tips regardless of service… only the tip AMOUNT changes in regard to the service.
So when the contractor and all of the construction workers do a shitty job building your house, make sure to only tip them 3% of build cost instead of the 20% if they did a good job.
If you don’t want to shell out the extra thousands of dollars to tip the construction workers… then don’t have them build your house, build it yourself!
Apply that to every person who you do business with on a daily basis. I’d be amazed if you universally tipped the way you expect waiters to be tipped.
Oh my god! This makes me SICK. You waiters and waitresses, who expect tips from every single person you wait on, are a fucking total joke! Let’s say I don’t tip you the $3.38 that would have been 15% of my bill for gratuity. Everyone else tips appropriately except one other person. That person pays you a 60% tip, instead of the common 15-20%. You were behind by 15%, then got additional 60%, so now you are ahead by 45%. YOU ARE AHEAD 45% IN MONEY YOU DO NOT DESERVE. Your petty services of walking to and from a table, speaking to other people which you have done since you were 5yrs old, wiping off a table that a 10 year old could do, putting water into a glass- that an 8 year old could do, etc., is not worthy of $25 an hour, $20 an hour, or even $15 an hour. But you people bitch and bitch and bitch when every single customer doesn’t tip you, yet still at the end of the night you make out with decent pay for the SIMPLE job you CHOSE to do. It might be HARD for you…but it’s SIMPLE. A simple job, where you are doing NOTHING SPECIAL. You do not deserve to make any more than someone working at Safeway, 7-11, Walmart, Target, etc., but yet you think you do? It’s quite embarrassing.
Plus, IF THE GOVERNMENT TAKES TAXES OUT OF WHAT THEY EXPECT YOU TO MAKE IN TIPS—-BIG EFFIN’ WHOOPTY DOO—— YOU. CHOSE. TO. BE. AN. EMPLOYEE. THERE.
When we walk into a restaurant, we want some damn food. YOU FORCE YOURSELVES ONTO US WITH YOUR PHONINESS AND EXPECT US TO PAY YOU FOR IT. NO. ……YOUR EMPLOYER puts on the menu there is FREE REFILLS… but since there is no soda machine available to the public… the restaurant is ensuring the customer will get their free refills by providing employees to get it for us. So, when I ask for a refill that I paid for, and there is no other way to get it besides requesting it from you because the restaurant’s policy is that YOU get it for US, then of fucking course when i’m thirsty and I want a refill–that I paid for– I expect you to go get it for me—–since that is YOUR DAMN JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!! I. am. not. your. employer. therefore. I. do. not. pay. you. for. the. job. YOUR. EMPLOYER. expects. you. to. perform. It is simple logic that you greedy morons are avoiding all to make us feel guilty into paying you more dough.
Why do many people get a job as a waiter or waitress anyway? Well, because it takes no intelligence; it’s not difficult; and are expecting that generous people will pay you an ass load of money for the petty services you force onto others. YOU ARE GREEDY PEOPLE and will not be getting my money.
So remember, when you’re bitching and giving yourself a heart attack that I didn’t pay you $3.39, I’ll be laughing and smiling having a grand ol’ time with my money in MY pocket. :) Fake-ness won’t get you anywhere with me!
Ta-ta for now! :)
In reply to Jendel
” I. am. not. your. employer. therefore. I. do. not. pay. you. for. the. job. YOUR. EMPLOYER. expects. you. to. perform.”
Your whole post is about how waiters are there to serve you and how they should get your refills, etc, yet you say it’s our employer that should pay us for the job THEY expect us to perform? YOU just basically said you expect us to perform it. Therefore, if you expect satisfactory service, then you SHOULD be paying for it.
“Oh my god! This makes me SICK. You waiters and waitresses, who expect tips from every single person you wait on, are a fucking total joke!”
You are trying to persuade everyone to think like you. If they all did, no one would be getting any tips then.
“Your petty services of walking to and from a table, speaking to other people which you have done since you were 5yrs old, wiping off a table that a 10 year old could do, putting water into a glass- that an 8 year old could do, etc., is not worthy of $25 an hour, $20 an hour, or even $15 an hour. ”
This could be true if you were just so high and mighty that you were the only table around. But when a server has your table as well as usually ANOTHER 8 to 10 tables to serve at one time, then it’s quite a difficult thing to manage.
“You do not deserve to make any more than someone working at Safeway, 7-11, Walmart, Target, etc.,”
That’s because they aren’t performing a direct service to you. If you walked into Target and handed the person a list of every single thing you needed and expect them to rush around the store to get it for you..then that SHOULD require a tip.
“Why do many people get a job as a waiter or waitress anyway? Well, because it takes no intelligence; it’s not difficult; and are expecting that generous people will pay you an ass load of money for the petty services you force onto others. ”
No. Many people get it because the food industry is extremely large. Many people go out to eat. Like I and may have us here have said before…if you don’t want the dining experience, COOK YOUR OWN FOOD.
“So remember, when you’re bitching and giving yourself a heart attack that I didn’t pay you $3.39, I’ll be laughing and smiling having a grand ol’ time with my money in MY pocket. :) Fake-ness won’t get you anywhere with me!”
I’m pretty sure that YOU will be the one having the heart attack since you are sitting here typing with so many curse words, caps, and exclamation points. Seems like someone is getting a little heated.
Tipping is a social norm. Get over it. I don’t like to wear pants. But it’s a social norm to wear them when in public places. Does that mean since I don’t like wearing pants I should just not wear them when I go out? No.
In reply to Shut up
I expect waiters to serve me in the same way that I expect walmart cashiers to serve me. They’re employed by the larger organization. I’m not their employer – neither the cashier’s, nor the waiter’s. I don’t need to have any financial transactions with either.
I’m sorry, but following social norms ends when it costs money to follow it. One can play along and wear the right dress, greet people in a certain way etc. All this costs nothing. When money enters the picture, forget it. It’s all business then and “social norms” can go take a hike.
I work a full time job and waitress part time to supplement my income because the hours are flexible. I am an educated, intelligent and SKILLED woman and serving tables happens to be the most convenient way to make some extra money to save towards a future home. I completely agree with your sentiment that this is a bizarre custom and have been looking into how I can get involved to change this outdated custom. However, in the meantime, it is only mandated for MA employers to pay their serving staff $2.63 per hour, expecting that customers will make up the difference in TIPS. Servers do not just hand you your food. At my job we take extensive training courses to know our exclusive menu, our 150+ imported and domestic beers and handcrafted cocktails. We polish silverware, sweep, clean up broken glass, wipe tables, clear tables, take out trash, argue with chefs and bartenders when your food or drink are taking too long or aren’t up to standard, answer your questions, get you extra napkins, refill your water, and TIP out other employees from that little bit of money that you grace us with at the end of your delicious and relaxing meal. So the fact that you feel entitled enough to come into this country and refuse to adhere to our customs infuriates me. Based on what you have posted and others have posted I am assuming you are Indian. I am an admirer of your culture and am ironically enough planning a volunteer abroad trip to India this year. I will be working in a Women’s Studies program with impoverished prostitutes. I’m sure given the nature of my trip I will see some not so flattering “customs” while in India and while I will not adhere to any custom that I find “ethically” wrong. I will follow guidelines when it comes to wages, currency and the exchange of services and money because only someone uneducated and morally lacking would go into another country and deny them an income because they feel like it.
The part of your post that bothers me the most and I’m surprised more people didn’t comment on is your complete lack of respect for people. You have every right to agree or disagree with a rule, custom or law in this country. That is what makes us so great. I will not deny you that right nor will anyone else, however; common human decency and respect will get you a lot further. Again I can only assume that you come from an overly privileged family, didn’t have to pay your dues to get where you are and generally are a selfish and spoiled individual but to undermine what another has chosen for work or condescend to to those people in such a way as to deny them money for a service is outdated, barbaric and tacky. Where are your manners? It is one thing to have an opinion but to belittle and trash someone just for having a job you disagree with is ridiculous. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order.” This is not a third world country. We do not have a caste system here and your server is not an “untouchable”. We have standards that we treat people by in this country, specifically hardworking people. My advice to you is to drastically improve your attitude because my bet is that if you haven’t already you are going to run into a bigger issue than a few miffed bloggers if you continue to treat people this way. This country can open up many doors for people and it can be very welcoming too but word to the wise, we don’t look kindly on ignorant, cheap, angry foreigners looking for a free meal. Good luck ;)
In reply to Amber
I’m sorry, but WHATT???? The fact that you pretentiously tell Bhagwad that he is from a “spoiled family” totally makes you look like a typical spoiled AMERICAN that thinks she knows EVERYTHING!!!! Women’s Studies?
Come down here to South Central LA to see how your fellow American women are being treated.
Again, you agreed to the job. You acknowledged by accepting the job that you will be receiving the low wage that you will be receiving. IT has nothing to do with privelege, it was YOUR choice.
Caste system? Again, come down here to South Central. You’ll see poverty at its finest.
Your comment just made me feel ill. I mean i can’t believe educated Americans like yourself can talk down to others. Have you been to India? Have you left suburbia? Have you left New England even? Go to Bridgeport, not too far from you and you’ll see LOTS of good ol fashion American poverty.
I’m not being selfish. If anything, wait staff members are beings selfish. They refuse to unionize, they refuse to fight the status quo, they refuse to go to the government to fix such horrid issues, they refuse to protest and they refuse to get a better job.
Why? Here in California for example, wait staff make minimum wage. So That is $8/hour + tips!!!!!! WOW!! I wouldn’t want to protest that.
The average waiter/waitress actually brings home about $30,000 a year. That’s actually pretty good money for unskilled labor (again, skilled is define as being specifically trained. Bar tenders I understand as being skilled). For the sake of controversy, we’ll call wait staff members semi-skilled laborers.
Now I want to ask this AGAIN. What about teh Wal Mart cashier? What about the AM/PM clerk? They make minimum wage? What gives?
Do I have to tip in Cailfornia Amber? Brittney says no, since in Cali, wait staff members make minimum.
Again, I suppose the American custom is that We White People are the masters of the universe and everyone that is brown and black is equivalent to mud and filth.
America–our culture is the best. You are free to practice OUR culture, not yours, lol.
In reply to Common Sense
Yes, in America you are supposed to practice American culture! Other wise, don’t come here! Typical self-loathing AMERICAN! And poverty in America simply does not compare to real poverty. I know. I live below the so called poverty line. And go to the government to fix it? That only makes more poverty.