5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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12,129 thoughts on “5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter”

  1. Sounds like you’re a real bitter kind of person. Being a server in the U.S is a skilled trade. It takes years to become a truely good server. There is a great deal of multi-tasking involved. Servers must be attentive to not only you and your needs, but also the needs of all of their other tables and the patrons of the entire restaurant. They must also relay the specials and information about ingredients, variations of each dish and the perfect drink to join it. Being a server is a headache, but it is also a very rewarding art. We who are servers choose this line of work because we know that we choose how much we will pocket that night because the harder we work, the more we make. Most of us need this money to help us get through school. How does it feel knowing your too cheap to tip so the poor server who just wasted an hour and a half of her time trying to make you happy, can’t buy one of her textbooks, or pay her rent. Bottom line is, who gives a shit if you think the employer or the server is in the wrong for expecting a tip. This is the U.S and it is OUR custom to tip the servers. If you can not bring yourself to do this then simply do not eat out. Do not get delivery. Make food at your own house, each and every night. You make your living doing whatever it is you do, and this is how we make ours. Do not be dissrespectful to us just because you want to be cheap.

    Reply

    • In reply to Haylee

      Thanks for making me roll on the floor laughing for 5 minutes. A server considered a skilled trade is the funniest thing I have ever heard of. If you are over 21 and have been a server for at least two years than I guarantee you are a loser at life. It is not my responsibility to give you extra money. I can definitely afford it as I’m sure I make more in an hour than you have in your checking account. Being a human conveyer belt takes no skill whatsoever.

      Reply

    • In reply to Haylee

      Training guide for a server:

      No specialized training, education or degree is needed . This is a simple unskilled job. With that being said, the steps of training a server are listed below.

      Make sure the table has menus.
      Announce the evening specials, take the order and write it down.
      Remove the menus and bring the order to the kitchen.
      Drinks get picked up at the bar.
      Collect the food from the kitchen and bring it to the table.
      Check back in a few minutes to make sure everything is satisfactory and take the time to see if drinks need to be refilled.
      Collect empty dishes.
      Clean the table.
      Bring the desert cart to the table.
      Take the desert order and bring it to the kitchen.
      Pick up desserts from the kitchen and bring it to the table.
      Check back to see if everything is satisfactory, and look to see if coffee needs to be refilled.
      At the conclusion of the meal bring the check. Make sure you kiss the ass of the
      person paying the bill to make him feel bad and possibly leave a tip that you don’t deserve.
      Your training is now complete: Now you may bitch and moan about how hard your simple job is.

      Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Although it gets as redundant as posting that damnable link, I feel you should end every response with, “and I should know because I worked as a server.”

        You know the response people are going to give to your reply is going to be something along the lines of, “Waaaah, you should try it some time! It’s not as easy as you make it sound!”

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        You’re right What a joke. I should have ended my server training guide with (I should know I was a server )

        I was only 16 years old when I had that simple server job. In 2 weeks time I was promoted to Head Waiter because I took initiative and I did things that needed to be done without being told.

        The funny thing is I thought that was expected of me. Any adult that does this shit for a living should be fucking ashamed of himself.

        When I told my dad how simple and easy this job was he made me quit and work in his precious metals foundry. The only reason I took the server job is because I wanted a titanium golf club and my dad said get a job. I didn’t realize he was just teasing. I never should’ve told him how simple the waiter job was he busted my ass at that factory. It was noisy hot and dirty. That was my first taste of hard work.

        Reply

      • In reply to Dear shortcoming man

        Yeah, you know they train monkeys to serve tables, right? And the customers at the restaurants where they do this talk about how they’re better than HUMAN servers?

        The definition of “unskilled labor” is a job that requires no formal education. You claim serving is skilled, so what university did you go to for your serving degree?

        The problem with servers is they believe they are entitled to money they didn’t earn. It has nothing to do with empathy – I’ve done volunteer work with the homeless, because I know what it’s like. I even donate to shelters because they do good work. Servers, on the other hand, do a job that they get paid for. Like any other job, the responsibility of who pays them falls to their employer who, in this case, is the restaurant they work at. They are the ones with the employment contract.

        You’re clearly not American based on your language skills, so even mentioning American tipping practices is hypocritical. They don’t tip anywhere else in the world like here, and everyone else pretty much thinks Americans are insane for tipping the way they do. You want to convince people to tip big on every meal? Go convince your people from wherever you came from, then convince the rest of the world to tip. You’d just be laughed at and called insane for even trying.

        Reply

      • In reply to Dear shortcoming man

        Getting promoted to Head Waiter in only only 2 weeks. With no previous restaurant experience. Supervising servers that have worked at the restaurant for over a year.

        Yes it was a super simple job. Most of the servers never graduated high school. Some had GED diplomas. All of them were very simple people and found the job challenging.

        My father did not want me to have a simple job with no future that did not challenge me. For that reason I left the restaurant and worked weekends at his precious metals refinery.

        There I learned what hard work was, and was challenged mentally. The job was physically demanding. It also required training classes with specialized equipment. You were also required to have an advanced understanding of chemistry and math.

        Reply

  2. Do you go eat where you deserve?Sounded like you are a randomly walk in patron who end up in unexpecting place.Like a true American you should tip..With wealthiness and maturely aging,tiping my server is not going to kill me.

    Your poverty background is not a good excuse for this case.You should have known better since you became a wealthy man.It’s just your shortcoming stuck in your head.You went through it all alone and became a sucessfull man. I respect that but it sounded like you have never received any empath at all in your childhood.That turned you into a relentless person.

    Reply

  3. Im from New Zealand and there is NO expectation to tip. At ALL….

    he thought of the concept of “tips” does not even cross the mind of the waiter.

    Trust me. I know….

    One guy gave me a tip and it was cool. But no, i never expect one.

    Now I am an airline pilot.

    If 150 passengers gave me 15% of the total airfare, I would LOVE that, but again, no…. I do not expect them to do this….. Why would they??

    The whole “tip” thing is just a strange thing americans do that most of the world does not understand.

    Like walking around beating your chest trying to say your the best country in the world when you are clearly not.

    Kind of amusing really…..

    Reply

    • In reply to Tom

      Tipping is a stupid thing Americans do that most of the world does not. I totally agree with you on that.
      However I do not need to walk around and beat my chest saying that my country is the best in the world. The rest of the world already knows that!

      Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        HAHA!

        Well said sir….. Haha… :)

        Then why the hell can’t those damn restauranteurs get their sh*t together and start paying real cash to their conveyer belts!

        I bought some food delivered to my house lately. Indian food in vietnam.

        And there was this sad ass look on his face when I didn’t tip him.

        This isnt even a tipping country. Vietnamese are tighter than a nuns c*nt over hear.

        He must have seen my white face and assumed I was an american tipper….

        He smiled at me lots as he handed me the bag.
        Then this sadness overlayed the smile as I closed the door. The smile remained. But with sadness over the top of it…..

        Priceless….. Literally priceless….

        Reply

      • In reply to Tom

        The restaurant industry definitely has their shit together. Waiters are paid federal minimum wage by law. If the state minimum wage is higher they get that instead. So in the end with or without tips they make minimum wage. For that reason tipping is unnecessary.

        The problem is that waiters feel entitled to a tip. They think the world owes them extra money for doing their simple job.

        Waiters and waitresses remind me of children that pout when they don’t get a second piece of candy.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Yeah I think the whole thing is stupid.

        How did it all begin?

        This “moral tax”…….

        There must have been a point at which it became a “thing”

        But didn’t in other countries.

        Its almost a religion over there.

        Reply

      • In reply to Tom

        It was brought over by European aristocrats to flout their wealth and power over the common people. A tip was given to show you could get somebody to do something demeaning or get special treatment.

        A tip was considered a very small insignificant amount of money to the European aristocrat. It was given to show The common man he was beneath you.

        Now how this evolved into modern tipping we have today is a whole other story involving nothing but pure stupidity.

        Reply

      • In reply to Tom

        You are a mean man. In the U.S. you should tip at least 20% of the total bill. If you only tip 15% that is unacceptable. I only make $2.13 an hour and after taxes my weekly paycheck is less than $10. How am I supposed to raise my 6 kids on that? Do us all a favor and stay home you cheap ass!

        Reply

      • In reply to Mary Ann

        LMFAO!!! This bitch is crazy thinking I’m going to tip 20% on a $350 tab. A waitress is not even worth tipping $1. I just want the food. I don’t care about your personal issues.

        Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        Perhaps she needs to forward herissues onto her manager or look for another job.

        Anyway, soon we will have robots with higher intelligence to do the job….

        Im sorry that you had kids….

        Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        I don’t think it’s actually a server, I’m pretty sure it’s somebody just trolling. Even if they were a real person, somebody trying to raise 6 kids as a server doesn’t deserve the dignity of a response.

        Reply

      • In reply to Tom

        I plan to abolish restaurants all together. This country has obvious obesity and health issues. My new America will consist of buildings similar to barns. In these buildings a customer pays a flat rate and eats a combination of kale and white rice out of an object similar to a trough (An additional trough with water will be provided at no extra cost). there will be no servers and therefore no reason to tip. I WILL MAKE THIS COUNTRY GREAT AGAIN!

        Vote Trump-Pence 2016

        Reply

  4. Actually…’be been dishonest. Im an old fat loser who’s never gotten laid. I live in my moms basement. I hate everybody and I hate myself, that’s the reason I’m always on here. Sorry

    Reply

  5. AMERICA IS A SUPERIOR COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
    Paying your bill plus tax and leaving a good tip!WOW!
    When you are in different country ,people assume that you americans are GREAT! no matter how your true character is.
    We all know that it’s not entirley right with this tipping custom.In oversea country,it helps people there regonize you AMERICAN better! At least they will treat you with their welcoming attitude.

    Reply

  6. I am flattered this person is so jealous of me that he wants to be me. Does your mother know you’re on her computer using her Internet from the basement?

    Reply

    • In reply to $Bill

      Right? And conversing with themselves at the same time, meaning they’re taking the time to respond multiple times.

      At least they’re generating revenue for Bhagwad with all those page refreshes.

      Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        You know what I think?

        I think all of us are wasting our time discussing any of this junk.

        What are you guys all doing using the precious moments of ypur lives insulting strangers on the internet just because they do not share your opinions?

        If you look ino the psychology of it all, its really stupid.

        Go out and make a million dollars or have a dream and work towards it.

        Right?

        Who cares what “mr internet nobody” thinks…..

        Right?

        Go become something amazing and solve all your families money concerns etc….

        Be something.

        Do something meaningful with life.

        Reply

      • In reply to Tom

        What a joke and myself, have already become so successful in our lives to the point where we have the time to pursue any interests we feel like.

        So now we have the luxury of the do what we want when we want.

        Reply

      • In reply to Tom

        You want to look at the psychology of it? We’re here because we agree with the topic and prefer facts over delusional beliefs and misinformation. Opinions should be backed up by facts and knowledge.

        People who come here and argue their OPINION, even once being informed of the facts, and who cannot logically justify their behavior are behaving irrationally which is, by definition, insanity. People who live with a victimized mentality when their situation is a result of their own choices, people with a grandiose sense of entitlement to something they haven’t earned, people who talk to themselves, and people who only come to antagonize others all clearly suffer from psychological defects.

        And then we have people who keep coming back to tell us we should stop coming back? What is the point in this? We support the topic. It makes more sense to tell the people who disagree that they are wasting their time. While at it, why not explain to them why they are wasting their time with the history of tipping, the laws regarding tipping, pointing out their hypocrisy in not tipping everyone? Maybe humble them a bit by pointing out that their job isn’t as difficult as they believe it is (because really isn’t), and remind them it is not thw responsibility of society to make up for their decisions.

        Maybe then they will step up and make something of themselves instead of playing the “poor me” game.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        It is the sincerest form of flattery. This person wants to be our protégé.
        Generating their own posts and then replying to it is not mentally healthy.

        I really suggest this person go out and socialize with people. (not his inflatable girlfriend)

        He should also move out from his parents basement. Find an apartment get an actual life.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Just like me. I like to come here and talk endlessly about how rich and powerful I am all day every day. It’s so weird most rich powerful people are at jobs being productive, but not me. Not me! I spend my time coming on here and arguing with teenagers. My life is super fulfilling yet this eats up about 90% of it.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        It’s funny that this person’s world view is so narrow that they can’t comprehend that people can be at work, be productive, and still have time to take a couple minutes here and there to respond to someone on the internet.

        Even more funny when you consider that they must not have much of a life, nor be productive, since they’re on here commenting away just as much (actually more, especially since they are replying to themselves), yet obviously don’t have a profession that allows it, given that they demonstrated their inability to conceive of it.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        What? I was just telling you a little about my life. I totally agree. I’m the president of nasa. Between meetings I like to come on here and talk about tipping. And yes you’re right. The earth is flat.

        Reply

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