5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. Hi guys,
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    Reply

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    Reply

  3. Article should have been “5 reasons I’m an awful, spoiled, self centered human being that does not know how to exist in society”

    Reply

    • Grammar Police says:

      In reply to Clare

      You forgot the period.

      Reply

    • In reply to Clare

      You are describing a waitress perfectly.

      Reply

    • In reply to Clare

      5 reasons you are a waitress:

      1) You are lazy
      2) You feel entitled because you make minimum wage and expect extra money.
      3) No formal education because you are very simple.
      4) Drug, alcohol, and abuse problems.
      5) You have zero pride and marketable skills.

      Reply

      • In reply to Godiva

        But they still make WAY more money than me.

        Reply

      • Servergirl77 says:

        In reply to Godiva

        Ha! Yeah I can tell you have never been a server in your life! Everyone thinks it’s a simple job “just take my order and bring me my food and I might tip you or just yell be rude and expect the restaurant to pay for my meal” YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE RESTAURANT! We have sometimes 30-40 other people that 1 server is taking care of you are lucky you have money to come and eat while we clean up after you and deal with your shit if you don’t want to tip get the FUCK OUT OF MY RESTAURANT!

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Servergirl77

        It’s clear you’ve never been anything BUT a server if you think it’s hard. You seem to think that it’s the only job that has to multitask, and if you’re dealing with that many people on your own (30-40 people is 6-10 four tops), it’s because the restaurant you work for is poorly managed, but it’s still simplistic labor.

        And yes, many of us have been servers in one form or another. It’s a pretty common job for teens and young adults. It sure as hell doesn’t compare to the stress of university, which I needed just to get a chance at my current job. It doesn’t compare to worrying whether I’m going to meet a deadline for a big project. You fuck up as a server and get fired, you go put in your application down the street. You fuck up at a real job and you have no idea when you’ll be able to find another job, if you even can. Even worse – a lot of people here run their own businesses. You fuck up there, it’s not just you without a job, it’s dozens, maybe even hundreds of others who lose their jobs. There’s a reason CEO is constantly in the top 10 most stressful jobs, along with things like Enlisted Military and Firefighters. What’s stressful about being a server? You have to deal with assholes? So does every other job. You have to rush and get everything right? So does every other job.

        Either way, it’s not the customer’s responsibility to pay you. Like every other goddamn job in the world, it’s your employer’s responsibility to pay you, except they’ve somehow convinced you that it’s the customer’s responsibility. It’s not. It never is. In fact, if the customers don’t give you tips, your employer (by law) has to ensure you’ve received at least the Federal minimum (higher if your state is higher). If you think you’re entitled to more than that, well, YOU’RE the one who took the job, YOU’RE the one who agreed to the shitty pay, so YOU’RE the one to blame for both.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        And even when you’re self employed (w/o employees), you have to go out and find work and clients. You have to work hard. You have to take responsibility for the money you earn, just like with other jobs. I don’t see either how serving compares to even solo self employment. Servers just basically do what you do when you work @ a grocery store or a mcdonalds, or even less than that.

        Reply

      • Putos meseros says:

        In reply to Servergirl77

        And this is my problem because?

        Reply

  4. Craig Larsen says:

    Great post.

    Reply

  5. My family recently ate at a moderate priced restaurant for the second time. We didn’t leave a tip the last time we were there and had the same waiter again. I’m surprised his tiny little brain remembered us.
    So his way of getting back at us was to not clean dishes off the table. The table became very clogged with dishes. As he brought the main course he knocked over a lot of dishes and half the food he was carrying fell over. It crashed to the ground with food and glass everywhere. A full carafe of pinot noir fell as well. It splattered ruining a woman’s silk dress sitting nearby.
    The maรฎtre d’was just a few tables away when all this happened. He looked horrified and immediately started damage control. He told the waiter his employment is terminated as of now. He apologized for the build up of dishes on our table. The maรฎtre d’ comped our meal which included filet mignon, single malt scotch, wine and desserts. The woman’s dress would be replaced and their meal was comped as well.
    All of this was caused by an incompetent unskilled easily replaced waiter that thought he was special and entitled to a tip we never gave him.

    Reply

    • In reply to Godiva

      I find this whole thing very funny. This entire disaster was caused by a waiter that thinks he is something special. Although it was a hard lesson learned, the waiter just realized he is nothing more than a conveyor belt, and dirty dish jockey.

      Waiters are a dime a dozen and easily replaced. Wealthy regular customers are necessary for the success of any restaurant. The waiter found this out the hard way.

      Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Also I like balls.

        Reply

      • Grammar Police says:

        In reply to $Bill

        You forgot the comma after also.

        Reply

      • In reply to Grammar Police

        My doctorate was in chemistry and math. After studying for those advanced placement courses, there was a little time left to become a grammar expert .
        I will try to improve my grammar for you next time. It is a good thing I have a secretary that handles those trivial things for me.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Me like eat boogers to

        Reply

      • Donald J. Trump says:

        In reply to $Bill

        That’s very unfortunate sir. You see here in America we teach grammar to our children in elementary school. I’m sorry that in India, or Pakistan, or Dumb Fuckistan, or whatever camel jockey country you come from doesn’t have better school systems. I hoe your green card is up to snuff because I’m coming for you and every terrorist like you. I WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN (without the likes of you)

        Reply

      • Grammar Police says:

        In reply to Donald J. Trump

        -… come from *that* doesn’t
        -forgot the period after the last sentence

        You’re welcome Mr. President sir.

        Reply

  6. The truth sucks says:

    Waitress holiday checklist

    Buy illegal drugs
    Buy cheap booze
    Buy cigarettes
    Get more gross tattoos
    Add some freakish piercings
    Patch roof on trailer
    Buy second hand clothes
    Pick up welfare check
    Have more babies as a single mom
    Bitch about poor tips

    Reply

    • Servergirl77 says:

      In reply to The truth sucks

      Are you Fucking kidding me? I stuggled this year because cheap ass people trying to come out and eat and not tip for the service they got and I don’t have kids but I do have family and friends to spend Christmas with and didn’t make enough for gifts for people I love because or people who this they are entitled to something from me as a server I don’t owe you ANYTHING!

      Reply

      • Grammar Police says:

        In reply to Servergirl77

        -because *of cheap ass peo
        -no capitalization on fucking
        -for *the people I love
        -people who *think
        -at least 3 run-on sentences without proper conjunctions

        Reply

      • In reply to Servergirl77

        You are very confused. It is the customer that owes you nothing, you are the one that feels entitled. The shitty pay you got is your own fault for being unskilled labor.

        When I was a teen I waited tables at an exclusive restaurant. It was the easiest most simple job I ever had. When I told my dad how simple it was, he made me quit and work at his precious metal foundry.

        That was hard stressful work . You mess up there it can cost tens of thousands of dollars. It is also dangerous work, so you have to look out for the safety of others as well. The worst thing that can happen as a waitresses is you drop a fork big deal!

        You will be nothing more then a simple waitress your entire life. It is really sad you think being a waitress is a hard stressful job. Adult jobs are clearly more than you will ever be able to handle.

        Simple teen jobs were never meant to support adults or a family. They are only meant to be pocket change jobs. That is the reason why you are poor and had no money for gifts.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Im I liar. I couldn’t have waited tables at an “exclusive” restaurant because I wouldn’t have been old enough to bring cocktails to the table. See?

        https://www.alcoholproblemsandsolutions.org/StateAndLocalLaws/1133835601.html

        I’m a sack of poo.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        lol Silly Cubby doesn’t know that restaurants that have minors as servers, but serve alcohol, have the servers put in the drink order at the bar and the bartender serves the drinks. This is actually pretty common in places like country clubs which like to hire high schoolers, especially over the summer.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        No. I’m just a liar. Obviously at an upscale restaurant the bartender would be far too busy to walk drinks to every table. Especially for the “head server”. I’m a liar and a loser. If you had a dick I’d suck it.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        Oh, come now, Cubby, we both know you’ve never been to an upscale restaurant.

        First, it’s true even in plenty of lower class places. Second, upscale restaurants have a higher staff-to-customer ratio, meaning there would be plenty of bar staff to do it. Third, what $Bill actually said was that it was exclusive, which means even at its busiest it’s not going to be too busy to take care of all its customers promptly.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        Nope. Bartenders tend bar, servers serve tables. Doesn’t matter if it’s “exclusive” or “upscale”. No restaurant would hire a server that can’t bring drinks to tables. If there are 10 servers on the floor the bartender makes drinks for the bar top, makes all the drinks for the servers and runs around the entire restaurant to drop them off? I think not.

        I am both…I..mean WE are both lying sacks of shit that suck farts out of people’s butts. We are cheap AND poor losers that live with my….I mean our parents.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        lol Cubby, I’ve been to NUMEROUS restaurants where the policy is all drinks are made at the bar and delivered to the table by the bar staff, which is generally more than just one or two people depending on time of day.

        This isn’t some club or something, and people aren’t chugging down their booze like it’s water on a hot day. It’s really not hard to keep up – especially when you hire enough staff, which higher class establishments do.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        What a joke, I really don’t think Cubby understands what an exclusive restaurant is:
        The waiter is required to know the name of the person that pays the bill. It is required you know the food and drink preferences of the dining family.

        For the Japanese families you need to know how to perform the tea ritual. The waiter is required to perform at the level of a Butler not just a simple waiter. The waiters duty is also the same as a concierge.

        Cubby is a jealous little puke. He lives a very sad unfulfilling life. To make himself feel better, he needs to belittle successful people such as you and me.

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        Oh like I do to servers. Got it

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        We DO suck farts out of butts though :/

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        Nope. Bartenders bartendend. Servers serve tables. It’s true at every restaurant.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        Whatever you say, Cubby lol

        Reply

      • In reply to $Bill

        you seem very entitled. If I was to guess you are either an old hag or a middle age man going through a life crisis. If you don’t want to tip then don’t tip. But when you screw up at your fancy job just remember who’s shoes you’re going to be in. Yeah you may never resort to serving, but you may need to resort to something much worse. Something you never seen yourself doing. if you don’t like to tip then don’t come out to nice restaurant or any in matter of fact, because those hard working people in the restaurant don’t want to clean your mess up for free but they do it anyway, it’s a job. Just like a nurse doesn’t want to wipe your random nagging ass when your old but they HAVE TO DO IT. Stay humble people. You never know where life will take you and whos paths you will cross with.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to Whitney

        I used to be poor, and it’s a poor person’s understanding of wealth that makes them think the average wealthy person (or even upper-middle class) would be entirely screwed in the case of losing their job (and $Bill runs his own company, so that’s not likely). See, wealthy people know to save in case something happens. They invest in safe ways, like bonds and things like that.

        The only time “wealthy” people end up in the poorhouse working for tips is when they never learned to manage money in the first place (generally people who have had money fall in their laps, not people who earn it). Even if they did, they sure as hell wouldn’t spend the rest of their life doing it. The majority of upper middle class or higher people are people who put in the work to get there, and they’d just do it again if they lost it.

        When you say a person is acting “entitled,” it implies they don’t actually deserve what they earned, but anyone has the right in this country to earn as much as anyone else. They just have to put in the same work that got those wealthy there in the first place (regardless of whether the individual put in the work, or their great grandfather did). Expecting people to give you extra money for a job you’re already being paid to do is being “entitled.” If you don’t like it, or don’t feel like you’re getting paid enough, then do something else. Nothing is stopping you but your own choices.

        Reply

      • In reply to Whitney

        This guy is funny. I can’t speak about everyone, but my portfolio is so huge and widespread that I could take a huge loss and still live comfortably for the next 100+ years. When I go out to dinner I deserve to be pampered by the poor. Nothing you do is worth more than minimum wage.

        Reply

      • In reply to Zeus

        Zeus I could not have said it any better myself. My portfolio is so large, the only reason I still work is to groom my son and daughter to take over my company that is traded on the New York Stock Exchange.

        Plus I am very good at what I do and I want to share my skills with my children.

        These people are so funny to think that we may end up having to serve tables. They should know we have well-balanced portfolios managed by top hedge fund managers. Our wealth is invested intelligently. I bet we have more money in our wallets then their net worth.

        They are just used to having a couple hundred dollars in their checking accounts.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Oh my god stop! I’m gonna piss myself. “My portfolio”? That is the funniest thing you’ve ever said ever!

        “New York stock exchange”
        Rotflmao!!!!!

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        Cubby there is nothing funny about a portfolio. Maybe you don’t understand what it is?

        The term portfolio refers to any combination of financial risk such as stocks, bonds and cash. Portfolios may be held by individual investors and/or managed by financial professionals, hedge funds, banks and other financial institutions..

        To simplify it for you, it is a plan of investments. To be a traded company on the New York Stock Exchange has extremely lucrative advantages. The complexity of this would be too much for your little mind to comprehend, so I’m not even going to try to explain that to you.

        Reply

      • What a joke says:

        In reply to $Bill

        $Bill I think Cubby can’t wrap his head around the fact that successful people don’t just throw their money around to people who don’t earn it.

        It’s common among poor people to not understand investment (a big part of why they’re poor). Having been poor I know any time they have a windfall – a $1000 scratch off, big tax refund, whatever – they have to spend it right away. It’s the same reason when poor people win the lottery they run out of money in no time.

        Reply

      • In reply to What a joke

        Exactly!!! Instead of paying off debt with that thousand dollars they will run around foolishly and spend it.

        This is an interesting fact: 90% of upper middle-class people are wealthy because of investments.

        This next one really blew my mind. 61% of luxury car sales (Lexus, BMW, Porsche) are made by families with gross incomes under $130,000
        This tells me that these people want to be perceived as pseudo-rich. When in reality they are in debt up to their eyeballs. A good reason why the poor get poorer, and the rich get richer.

        Rich people ( incomes over $250,000 ) tend to spend an average of 35k for a car because they see the value in investing their money. Then when they retire they purchased cars in the six-figure range because their massive portfolios bring in more income than the value of the car they purchased.

        Reply

  7. 1. This is what the server is trained to do whether he or she expects you to tip or not. However if you politely ask them not to do this, they will probably be more than happy to comply. And by the way, the only people who work there who are salaried are the managers. If the servers were salaried, they wouldn’t be making a big fuss about tips.

    2. You’re right, it’s not your problem that they’re underpaid. However, part of why employers do this is because they know if they pay employees more, they’ll have to jack up the price of everything just to break even. Then they lose business because no one wants to spend that much money. So why are they a server? Well, there’s a number of reasons. Perhaps they’re a student trying to put themselves through school to better themselves. Or maybe they’re already done with school and doing this aside from having another job to pay off their student loans without going into debt. Or maybe they’re a single parent trying to make some extra income to support their kid(s). Whatever the reason, they’re relying on tips to survive. If you’ve ever been through any of things I listed, you should be able to understand why they get upset when people stiff them.

    3. I’ve worked in plenty of restaurants and the only time I ever saw anyone do anything like this was when I worked at McDonald’s and some guy was hitting on the cook’s girlfriend, who was working the drive-thru. Most of the time, when a server says they’re going to spit in a guests’ food, they’re really just speaking out of frustration, they don’t actually do it. Why do they get so frustrated? Any of the things I listed in #2 are a possibility.

    4. You’re right, they didn’t cook the food or invent it. But have you ever been a server? I’ve worked both on shop floor and in restaurants and I’m here to tell you, working the shop floor was gravy compared to working in a restaurant. Judging by the way you criticize servers, my guess is you’ve never been one. Otherwise, you’d know that being a server is more than just bringing food out. They also have to refill drinks, do math, run checks, grab lemon wedges, grab extra napkins, deal with rude people, deal with stupid people, restock glasses, refill ice, pick up trash, take trash out, make sure their section is clean, bus tables, deal with creeps and those who insist on offering unsolicited life advice, and try to remain calm all while holding their bladders and starving because they don’t have time to eat or use the bathroom. It’s also possible they have friends and family they want to see but can’t because they’re working all the time. Still think it’s pretty unskilled? Here are some other skills being a server teaches you: sales pitching, people skills, time management, problem solving, money handling, multitasking, heavy lifting, good memory, good overall coordination, setting up tables, public speaking, and ability to work well under pressure and in a fast paced environment. Can you think of any other job that teaches those skills? For that reason, many employers will hire anyone with a server background. I dare you to say being server is unskilled now.

    5. You’re right, money doesn’t grow on trees. Which may be why your server is a server. While you are within your rights to stiff the server, please keep this in mind- many restaurants pool their tips. So if you stiff the server, you’re probably stiffing the host, the bartender, other servers, and the busser. Also like I said, if they’re a single parent, they may be doing this to support their kid(s). So if you stiff the server, you’re more than likely stiffing other people who are also relying on tips to survive (especially their children who need food to be healthy and unfortunately, food cost money).

    So now that you understand that there are plenty of reasons to be a server other than not doing well in school and you still don’t tip the server or if you continue to criticize servers, you’re just being a jerk. And not that it’s any of my business, but if you can’t afford to tip, you probably shouldn’t be going out to eat.

    Reply

    • In reply to megan

      You make federal minimum wage you’re already overpaid. This is the reason why a tip is never necessary. You took this unskilled simple low-paying job, that’s your problem. If you want a job that pays more money, then earn a college degree and get a better job.

      Reply

    • In reply to megan

      When you told us waiting tables was skilled and difficult I could not stop laughing!!! Your job is so easy that’s why teenagers do it as a first job. When teenagers become adults they stop waiting tables and get real jobs. Looks like you did not get that memo.

      Reply

    • In reply to megan

      Being a server is un skilled.

      Reply

  8. If you think being a waitress is a difficult skilled job. You will never be anything but a lowlife poor waitress your entire life. You should remain a waitress because you won’t be able to handle a real job with real grownup responsibilities.

    Reply

  9. Let me tell you the reason I’m a waitress. I did not do very well in school but I did try. I’m not really good at anything. I have no college or skills that can make me money. Lucky for me im thin and big chested. It really helps me getting tips. There is nothing else I know how to do to pay the bills. I’m not proud of my job but I’m not smart enough or have skills to do any job that is much better.

    Reply

  10. Fuzzy navel says:

    Ex-server in high school and college. Worked a full 40 compared to everyone else’s 15-20 hours. I saved my management money by being able to take care of half the restaurant tables on my own, when it was busy. Easiest job I’ve ever done, I burnt some calories, I had fun seeing how many people I could take care of without service becoming poor, and I sadistically enjoyed the girls crying and moaning about how tough the job was, because it wasn’t. But I was raised well, from a single mother who also paid her way through school but with three kids, serving, and never felt entitled to this 20% bullshit. She now makes more in a night doing real work in a hospital saving lives, a skilled and intelligent job. What made it easier, I never made an effort to worry about the tips. Because I knew I was just a server who was working towards a better goal.
    I’m now a Navy bomb tech.
    Where’s my tip for allowing you to sleep safely at night while we are working relentlessly, making sure the war stays over seas. I guess sticking your face inches from something that was designed intentionally to kill you isnt appreciated by some of you libtard types, who have this entitlement aura about you. Next time I get the pouty face because I don’t feel the need to tip on you opening my beer that I can easily do and many would do for me in appreciation of my actual service just as a thank you, I’ll instead ask you for a tip and smile at you while you may continue to bitch how tough it is to do basic body movements and not think about more then basic math and to say the question “How can I help you?”

    Reply

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