It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
5 Reasons why you do not get laid.
1: You spend your time trying to come up with different ways to sound as if you are better than everyone with these, in your thoughts, NEWFOUND reasons to why you’re too cheap and self-absorbed to leave a couple of extra bucks to someone who DOESN’T spit in your food. They’re not your fat, drug-addled mother.
2: You spend your time bombarding hard-working people who actually show you the little amount of attention, in-which you can only obtain through your “blog”, with a condescending explanation to why you’re such an asshole.
3: You’re too insecure to actually tell this to your server without laying eyes on them. When you leave the restaurant, I guarantee that you walk out fast, and with your head down, because you know everyone is viewing you as an ugly, piece of shit asshole.
4: YOU, yeah you. You use blogs to speak out, you would never say this in person. Because you would be verbally torn apart in 5 seconds by anyone. Because yes, most of you bloggers are perfect open targets for insults.
AND THE LONG AWAITED NUMBER FIVE: You are an ugly, flawed, douche bag. An ugly, flawed douche bag who was raised by people who weren’t ready to raise a child properly. You lack proper social skills, and you definitely are not successful enough to make a honest living. So you resort to bashing people, who are better than you, over the internet. Stop coming up with excuses just because you’re a broke, egotistical piece of shit. Women hate that, or men, if you swing that way. If you happen to find somebody who has low enough self esteem to breed with, that waste of life is just going to come out as fucked up and flawed as you are.
Find a new hobby. I’ve read some pretty entertaining ill-willed blogs. But, yours lack the originality, the edge, and any form of craft that an actual clever blog requires. I read better rants from the Facebook status’ of fat, drunk, racist idiots.
I hate people like you.
In reply to Kyle Kalnasy
Thanks you so much for this :). People like you make my day. Feel free to drop by anytime!
In reply to Kyle Kalnasy
this relates to tipping…HOW???? If I may ask?
I REALLY hate to mud sling, but Kyle, you seem like such a little brat.
OOOO I don’t get my $2, oooo i’m sooo sad oooo.
I’m sorry, i’ve tried very hard not to say such things, but this last post was the final straw. This is ridiculous people. Lose your entitlement. This is why people like China and India are kickin your butts!!!!
In reply to Kyle Kalnasy
Kyle on your points.
I feel strongly about this subject
I’m a hard working person. Why don’t I get tipped?
I’m very secure about myself, which is why I have the cajones not to have to tip you people.
Blogs–if you are an American, don’t you value free speech? If not, you can always move to Cuba or China. I’m sure they need LOTS of wait staff.
How do you know how someone was raised? Just because you don’t agree with his points, he is an automatic douche? Just because you don’t agree with him he wasn’t raised properly? Just because you don’t agree with him he is bashing? WHO IS THE ONE BASHING IN THIS CASE????
Kyle–I hope you are an American. You are actually bashing on someone for expressing his Freedom of Speech. You are an Entitled, Elitist American hypocrit. Again I hate to do this personal attack stuff, but your post was just an insult. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t make him a douche.
I don’t tip either, yet I’ve worked in hospitals helping save lives. Am I a douche? What if there was an American soldier who fought for your freedom that doesn’t believe in tippign either. Is he a douche? What if there was a woman who was a handicap and has been abused who also, happens to not believe in tipping? Is she a douche? What if your grandchildren one day say, grandpa, i HATE tipping. Is your grandchild a douche?
5 Reasons I don’t leave a tip:
1. You agreed to a fix wage from your employer. You ills mean nothing to me. Take it up with your employer of you are under paid. If you are not making your minimum in tips, your employer is supposed to pay you. If h/she is not, report it to your authorities.
2. I, as a consumer, am not responsible for your wages.
3. I don’t tip other professionals such as cashiers or car-salesmen.
4.Tips based on the percentage of a check is arbitrary. I could be by myself at a restaurant and order a $10 meal one day and the next day a $20 meal. Why do I have to tip $2 and $4 respectively?
5. Service is subjective: you may think you are nice, while I might think you are being very mean. It is SOOO arbitrary
6: IN CALIFORNIA, YOU ALREADY MAKE MINIMUM WAGE.
6 only applies in Cali.
You clearly just dont get it… It doesnt matter what people do in other countries, in America, it is customary for you to tip people like servers, cab drivers, nail techs, hair dressers etc. There is no debate. Its just how it works. If you don’t, your not making a statement, you’re just a dick. Tipped employees make a different base wage because they are TIPPED EMPLOYEES. You, ‘as a consumer are not required to pay my wage’ NO SHIT you dumb ass, you are required to pay your bill and expected to leave a tip if you have good service. Your argument is soo weak. If you don’t have enough money to go out and pay your bill and leave a tip then just stay home.
COMMON SENSE – The one and ONLY reason you don’t leave a tip: You are a cheap, closed minded individual. The servers you stiff whenever you go out are probably paying their way through school or trying to feed their family etc. So good for you, you’re making it that much harder for them. BUT people like you are few and far between, I have been a server & bartender for years, through and after college. Me and those people you stiff, work harder than you ever will and probably make more money than you, even with ass holes like you dining out. You were obviously not raised, wherever that was, with class, morals, or manners. Get a life and a job, as it is clear you do nothing but try to defend your warped opinions on blogs that people hate.
In reply to Getaclue
So if its a CUSTOM in a country, it automatically makes it right? So it is perfectly OK that in China, it is customary to have female abortions. So as long as your in China, it is ok, right?
Its just “how it works” in China. You either have a boy or an abortion.
I am not required to pay. You cannot arrest me if I do not tip, unless there is an auto-grat. As long as it is not on the receipt, I’m not contractually obligated to pay.
Sure, I’m cheap. I prefer to call it fiscally responsible. Guess what? I paid off my student loans, live in my paid off house, married AND i’m in my late 20s. Thats what fiscal responsibility does.
So because I don’t agree with you, Getaclue, I already dont’ have morals? I wasn’t raised right?
What’s up with the Moses complex bro? Getaclue. Not everyone is going to think like you. Get a life. Perhaps you should let others have their opinions and stop defending your entitled opinions on blots that people disagree with.
You can make more money than I do, taht is fine. See the wonderful thing in capitalism is that not ALL people are guranteed riches, but with some blood and sweat it can be done. My fiscal responsibility has given me stability already in an early age. I went to college AND paid everything in full WITHOUT DEBT.
Again, I’M IN CALIFORNIA!! I don’t have to tip because all make minimum wage. How fair is it to tip one minimum wage employee while, say, a Wal Mart cashier, gets squat?
If you don’t get enough money, go take it up with your employer.
You argument is SOOOOOO WEAK!!!
yeah. exactly. Compare you not tipping to abortions. You totally get it! Idiot. Its not because you don’t agree with me that shows you don’t have morals or common courtesy. Its that fact that you DON”T HAVE MORALS OR COMMON COURTESY. Cheap, ‘fiscally responsible’ call it whatever you like. At the end of the day, in this country, and believe it or not even in CALIFORNIA, when you don’t tip your waitstaff, your are JUST A CHEAP DICK!
Getaclue,
I wish you would just shut your little ass up once. Oh I forgot. You don’t have one!! HA HA. Your just a complete blabber whose argument is if I don’t subscribe to your religion (the church of racketeering and extortion) I am “cheap”.
Nobody has to tip and for all I care you are a class warfare Marxist guerrilla. See, tipping is just a secret extortion scheme to bleed Americans like ATM’s. Who knows what these people make with tips? 25, maybe 30 an hour? And yet others can’t even make close to that amount?
Your a scumbag plain and simple. Get out and stay out!
Dan … you are awesome. “Shut your little ass up once” is definitely my new favorite saying. But that is besides the point. You are just plain ignorant and there is no point in arguing with someone like you. And just so youth understand, my sweet little ass makes between 30-50 dollars per hr… even with clueless douche bags like yourself wasting my time. Sorry you’re so pathetic and are such a shitty person. Honestly, its gotta be tiring to be so awful. Whatever you say on here, even if you use fancy words is wrong. Sorry asshole.
In reply to DansAnIdiot
So the fact that you make that much shows me that wait staff are unskilled workers that are overly paid DIRECTLY by consumers, (already making no economic sense) showing me I do not need to tip at all. I mean that is ridiculous. Talk about con artists eh?
In reply to Common Sense
That is complete crap, I would LOVE to know what server is making $30-50 an hour. Maybe one working at a very high end classy restaurant, which is NOT the majority of restaurants. In season, most waiters are lucky to break more than $60 PER DAY, not per hour.
Let me just clarify that just because that commenter is making overly inflated wages, MOST waiters are not.
supply and demand. I’ve really only worked in upscale restaurants so my experience is limited to that. you get what you pay for really. I enjoy doing my job for the most part, there is the occasional stiff from a foreigner and i understand there is confusion sometimes. i know they apreciate my service and that does matter to me. i have come in contact with those people i deem ‘cheap’. the $8 tip on $100. I shell out a minimum of $5 for every $100 of the check for ‘tipout’ which pays the food runners, bussers, bartenders and in some restaurants, the managers and hostess. so when a table of 4 spends $250 and leaves $0,i take $12.50 and give it to the house. I say again that my restaurant has a higher volume of foreigners than most so poor tips are not unheard of. but on the rare occasion a guest with full knowledge of the system set in place by the food and beverage gods intentionally screws meit happens, i don’t get visibly upset. i just remember all the annoying things you asked me to do for the last 2-3 hours, shake my head, laugh to myself and get on with my job. because for me to do my job correctly, i sometimes have to pay from my pocket to serve individuals i secretly disgust not because of their tip but of the way they eat, look, speak and interact as humans. If tipping was not part of this job then you will lose anyone with any skill in this profession. if you’d like to be served by someone with any sense, you’ve got to release your Kung fu grip. it’s like pulling teeth with some people. anyway, thought I’d share.
serving someone who disgusts you and then having to pay money just to get rid of them because there is no tip is gross. it’s hard enough having to watch you stumble and mumble, pick your teeth, shout, act like a child if we’re out of mussels, drop tissues on the floor. get butter and grease on everything within reach. complaining and lounging around and then neglecting to at least cover the expense of your meal is childish. but we already knew that because we looked you up and down before you saw us. read your body language and wagered whether or not you were intimate with the girl you brought with you and ultimately most important. how much torture would it be to get you fed, full, satisfied and gone. who knows, your tip might buy me a cup of coffee, go towards my rent or fix my teeth. it might be -$12.50 and -.3 hours of my life.
that’s just the way it is mr chow yun fat, move or lose it sister.
Brittney, sweety, if you are working at a restaurant and not clearing at least 30 plus per hour, you are waisting your fucking time. There are always better places to work at, and if you are not PRETTY ENOUGH OR SKILLED enough to work at a place like that, than I would keep your chubby ass in school and TRY to find a job where you could try to make as much as me. I have a degree and a job, and I STILL bartend and serve because the money is too good to give up. Even with idiots like Common Sense and BagTWAT, my job is worth it. And what the fuck does ‘in season’ mean… Bitch, if I only made $60 per shift I wouldn’t stay at that shit hole. I do not make ‘overly inflated wages’. I make 2.33 per hour PLUS the TIPS I EARN FROM PEOPLE WHO UNSDERSTAND HOW TO BEHAVE IN POLITE SOCIETY.
In reply to Just Because Im Bored
Okay “Just Because I’m Bored”, let me explain some things to you, since how you are such a high and mighty server who knows everything.
First off, if a waiter/waitress doesn’t clear $30/hr, they are wasting their fucking time?:
Do you realize how many professions, even college educated ones, get paid UNDER $30/hr? A LOT. So for someone to feel they need to make at least 30 an hour means they are fucking selfish or living the high life. Making anything better than minimum wage is considered good, because sooo many peopel make minimum wage.
Secondly, you say that if someone isn’t making AT LEAST $30/hr, they are either unskilled or chubby?
WELL THEN. First off, I wasn’t referring to MYSELF as a waitress not making money. Nor am I chubby. Actually, rather skinny. Averaging at 115 lbs at 5′ 6″ IS NOT CHUBBY. And, as such a great waitress, you should know that the majority of waitstaff have to work their way up in the industry. Not everyone jumps straight into fine dining or high end restaurants, so just because YOU have that experience, how dare you apply that to every waiter and say if they aren’t meeting the standards YOU’VE been blessed with they either suck at waiting or are ugly… You have no right to judge a stranger like that while knowing NOTHING.
NORMALLY, high end restaurants want EXPERIENCED waiters. Ones who have been in the industry for years. BUT, just because someone is newer to waiting does NOT make them a bad waiter. It means that sometimes they have start out at the lower end places (like IHOP, Denny’s, etc) and work their way up as they gain “experience”. Eventually moving on to Applebees or Outback Steakhouse or Olive Garden, and then once their resume looks amazing, they can apply and get hired to that REALLYYYY fancy restaurant down by the beach with the awesome sunset where the meals average $30/each.
And REALLY? You don’t know what “in season” means?
Okay, well, here in Florida, we have a “hot spot” season. It’s called WINTERRRR. During winter, all of the older retirees from up North or rich people who want to get away from the cold leave their Northern states and come stay at their vacations homes in Florida until Winter and the cold passes up North. We call these people “Snow Birds”, because like birds during winter, they travel south to escape the cold weather. So from Around November-April, we have A LOT of visitors in Florida, and they make up the majority of the service in the waiting industry. When Snow Birds leave, so does the extreme amounts of business for waiters, i.e MONEY.
THIS is what in Florida is called “in season”—- IN SEASON, waiters make a lot more money than they make when season ends (and there is mainly only locals left).
And if YOU are making $60/hr, GREAT, good for you. I was just stating that not every waiter does, and it’s not because they are shitty at what they do, or that they are ugly or fat (and trust me, I’ve seen PLENTY of those types of waitresses, but I don’t tip them less because of it. How shallow.)
And AWESOME FOR YOU if you are blessed with customers who appreciate the system or follow it. A lot of people don’t, or they think they are only really supposed to tip at higher end places and leave $3 for a group of 4 people at the lower end ones, because “it’s only breakfast”.
Jobs are scarce, especially where I live, so to say there are so many other jobs out there is simply not true. And personally, I think A job is better than NO job. But I’m not gonna sit here while people say waiters make $60/hr when the majority of waiters DO NOT.
People like Common Sense and Bhagwad justify not tipping because waiters make a lot of money, so they don’t have to tip. But it’s because of people like them that people I know working at Cracker Barrel make SHITTY money, because too many people feel entitled to free service just because it’s not written in law to pay for it.
It’s not fair to the waiters who earn less and work at less prestigious restaurants to suffer when say, people like Bhagwad go out to eat at low end restaurants and think “WELL THIS WAITER IS MAKING $60/hr, HE DOESNT NEED MY TIIP,” so he doesn’t tip waitstaff that already make less money than you. You don’t suffer, THEY DO.
And your attitude about waiting is the EXACT reason why Bhagwad wrote this blog.
In reply to Brittney
See Brittney here is the problem–STATUS QUO. The reason wait staff won’t unionize or protest to make fairer wages is because the big shots taht make $60/hour or whatever ridiculous sum LOVE teh current status quo. People tip them while hard workign people like yourself are stick bringing home peanuts on this current system. Why can’t we change it? See here in California, wait staff already make minimum, so all is well.
Brittney–I don’t agree with you, but at least you are intelligent and a nice person. The person you responded to seems like a total jerk. I do feel bad for you. This is where my humanism comes in. If I really can tell someone is working hard, then yeah of course I’ll tip.
My whole rants on tipping don’t have to do with humanism, however they have to do with economics, logic and rational thinking.
In reply to Just Because Im Bored
if behaving politely means making sure you get way more money than you deserve, than I suppose I am not behaving properly.
Guess what happened in Germany in the ’30s? It was polite to make sure all Jews and gypsies were turned over to the SS. Well, I guess people that didn’t follow that status quo were simply “behaving improperly in society” weren’t they “just becase?”