It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
going out to eat is a LUXURY, not a necessity, so if you want to be cheap eat at home. I mean, its much cheaper to cook food for yourself. personally, i view going out as a luxury, and when i go out (in the U.S.) i include the tip as part of that luxury. If you cant afford that then don’t pretend to live large.
If you don’t want to give away your money then don’t go out to eat. going out to eat is a luxury.
In reply to Alexis
It’s a luxury only if I can’t afford the bill. And I pay the bill. I just don’t tip.
In reply to bhagwad
I think you misunderstand the word luxury in this instance.
If you weren’t an ignorant fucktard that probably cannot afford to eat out, you would realize that the 20% most leave as a gratuity prevents restaurants from charging close to twice the amount for their food. That is approximately what most restaurants would need to charge in order to pay their wait staff a livable (non tipped) pay.
If you’ve ever been to a place where tipping is socially unusual then you’d understand that tipping someone to manage your eating-out experience is worth it and its part of the industry for restaurant dining. There’s places for people like you that won’t tip – fast food or deli or rotisserie, but if you go to a sit-down place then you tip for the service, thats just standard quit complaining.
In reply to livesinchina
I don’t mind having the tipping system at all but I don’t agree in terms of quality of service. I live in China too (Qingdao), and I get generaly the same service here that I do in the US. Maybe US servers are more friendly but I’m not interested in having a rapport with my server anyway. I don’t know where in China you are but service is pretty much straight forward and fast.
The way they conduct buisiness here is a different story though. I’m just talking about the actual quality of my server. It’s really no different at all. If you want to argue that the way they run things out here that’s a different argument.
Hey stupid fuck who wrote this – stay home and don’t eat out. Kill yourself. Fuck you.
Thank you for putting your picture on this article. I will be sure to never come to your table if you ever happen to find yourself at your restaurant, as will many other severs. Cheers!
Bottom line.. you go into a restaurant in the US with all this information. Knowing full well that the employees are working without breaks, sick pay, benefits, proper hourly wage, etc… That the employee truly depends on your tip to make a living, because that is how the system has been set up, and you choose to screw them over. It makes you cold-hearted.
Eating is a necessity. Having someone serve your meal to you and cater to your every whim is a luxury. It’s a slap in the face to engage in that service and skate by on some technicality, screwing that person out of a wage.
I cant understand whats the big fuss if this guy doesnt want to tip. Okay he may be a cold hearted, discourteous and a shameless jerk which he obviously is. But he is doing nothing illegal unless he is asked to pay a tip included in the bill at the end of his meal. He is simply too fond of his hard earned money to give it out to someone as a tip which he is not legally required to. So as long he is not on the wrong side of the law, it is better to let him be a jerk instead of demanding him to tip.
In reply to Nik
you clearly never served before.
Dear Rob,
Until we make restaurants and bars pay their workers minimum wage, this will continue. The government allows them to profit by underpaying their staff, then taxes the waiters as if they have been tipped. Their $ 3.35 per hour paycheck for forty hours a week actually becomes about a $ 10.00 a week paycheck because they are being taxed on that salary. That means that if you do not tip, you are actually costing the waiter money to wait on you. You came in sat down and asked for service, then cost them money for the pleasure of serving you. They do so with a smile on their face because sometimes, people like you who do not tip, also fill out little survey cards slamming them. If they don’t have happy customers, they don’t have jobs. If you really are offended by tipping, get take out and eat it at home. Otherwise, stop acting like people owe you service. The restaurant industry is unfair to their workers and most of America knows that. Tips are needed because these people are being mistreated by their employers. Before you say they are unskilled, go have a nice evening out if everyone of them quits and finds a better job. You will no longer enjoy going out.
In reply to Shannan
“Otherwise, stop acting like people owe you service.”
I’m afraid that if the restaurant presents me with a bill, the restaurant owes me service. The restaurant uses waiters to provide me with that service – just like a cashier at walmart.
In reply to bhagwad
Your analogy is erroneous. Our American culture expects tips in certain occupations. That’s just the way it is. You can make arguments that the employee “negotiated” a horrible wage with their employer, but that’s such a cheap way to write off the real problem. Your understanding of the fundamentals of the issue is flawed.
In reply to Irony
Saying that something is “culturally expected” is a very poor argument. I’ve debunked it before giving the example of how it’s “culturally expected” to treat women badly in many countries. That doesn’t mean you go and do it when you’re there. You do the right thing. Culture be damned.
Unless of course a particular custom is ethically neutral. Like bowing instead of shaking hands. Or using chopsticks etc. Those you can follow. But tipping is not ethically neutral.
In reply to bhagwad
I hope you can see that how you’ve phrased that argument makes it sound like tipping is as damaging as poor treatment of women and other societal nonsense. That argument does not apply in the same way.
There is an implied agreement between patron and server that there will be a tip for their service. Sure, one can choose to ignore this well known agreement, but what does this accomplish? There are several advocacy groups out there pushing for fair wages for these workers, but in the mean time, this social agreement is important.
In reply to Irony
“There is an implied agreement between patron and server”
Here is think is the crux of the issue. “Implied agreements” are not meaningful because I was never told about it, nor did I get the opportunity to refuse. There are two solutions to this:
1. Tipping policy is clearly stated in a prominent place in the restaurant. Specify a percentage. Or better still, just fold the cost into the food. I don’t mind paying more.
2. The server has to state his expectation when they serve me. At which point I’m free to ask the management if this is official policy or whether the server is trying to illegally extort money from the customers on the side.
In reply to Irony
I’ve already debunked his comparison of the tipping custom to the one of mistreating women. That is SO dramatic. I’ve already said this, but he obviously thinks they are actually in the same category of being worthy of comparing.
You are wrong. And I will tell you why.
1. If servers did get paid a decent wage, the price of your food would go up astronomically. You can’t get out of being a cheapskate. Sorry, asshole.
2. Serving is a NOT mindless job. I am a graduate student at a top Ivy league school, which I help pay for by waiting on assholes like yourself. I am above average intelligence. I can do problem sets and recite Shakespeare in my sleep but I still find serving to be a challenging and demanding job. I have served at some of the finest restaurants in the world and the knowledge that goes into that is far beyond what your tiny brain could comprehend.
3. Tipping is not “free money”. You are paying for a SERVICE. It’s not free money. It’s a service you would NOT GET AT HOME. Someone waiting on you, cleaning up after you, and serving you. Free money?!!?? NO. It’s not “DOING ME A FAVOR” by tipping me, it’s paying for a goddam service. Would you expect someone to approach your table, take your order, enter the order, expedite the order, serve you said order, clean up after you, and attend to any other needs you may have while you sit on your ignorant ass AT HOME? NO. IT IS A SERVICE YOU ASSHOLE. YOU ARE PAYING FOR A SERVICE.
4. I have traveled abroad and am highly respectful of other cultures. This is American culture, whether you like it or not. Why don’t you go back to wherever the hell you’re from? The food and service may be shitty, but at least you won’t have to tip!
IF YOU DON’T WANT TO TIP AND DON’T AGREE WITH TIPPING – FINE. BUT THEN DO NOT GO OUT TO EAT AT A FULL-SERVICE RESTAURANT. THE END.
You’re a complete and utter asshole. You should be ashamed of yourself for posting this rubbish. You are insulting so many hardworking people with your ignorance. Have you ever even WORKED in a restaurant before? Shame shame SHAME on you.
In reply to Server
I don’t mind food prices being higher. That way I know the cost upfront and choose not to go to a particular restaurant if I can’t afford it.
As for your other points…do you tip the cashier at Walmart? I didn’t think so. The fact that you negotiated a shitty wage with your employer is none of my concern.