It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
I m an Indian, the only cheap people and no tiping in service indestery are andians, not all of them thanks god, i do tip when i go some where. I wasn suprise about you my brother indian, just admoted you are cheap!!
In reply to Waiter
Looks like racism within the Indian community is thriving!
In reply to bhagwad
He is not being racist, he simply believes like the rest of the human race that he deserves to be paid for work that he does. He is not a slave and it is arrogant and kind of cruel on your behalf to think that it is acceptable for him to be treated as such. You know that his employer doesn’t pay his wage and basically expects you to do it out of common courtesy and politeness so to ignore your responsibility is just a method of stealing. Stealing is stealing whether it is legally recognized as such or not
I work in the social service industry and don’t (and never will) expect my clients to tip me under any circumstances even though I am providing them a service. I do it out of the kindness of my heart, no strings attached. I certainly don’t get paid what I believe I am worth and understandably it isn’t less than minimum wage, but just as others have stated…if you can’t hang with the job, don’t take the job. It’s unfair to blame me, the consumer/customer for you, the waitress/waiter not being properly compensated at ‘your’ place of employment. The wait staff knows how the transactions will go once they’ve signed on the dotted lines when accepting the position. They already know what to expect, so I don’t feel that it is right to expect me to bridge the gap, financially-speaking, for their wages (or the lack of).
Aside from that, I might spend a total of $7 or $8 in the US for a meal including unlimited drink refills and an additional couple of dollars on a dessert at a typical fast-food establishment. Well, when I go to a traditional sit-down restaurant, I may pay approximately $10-$15 depending upon where I choose to eat (i.e. chain restaurant, buffet, upscale, etc.) for a full-course meal excluding dessert. Now I’m not a mathematician, but from the looks of it, it certainly seems like I’m already paying a part of the waitress/waiter’s wage considering the higher amount that I am paying for my meal (i.e. Chili’s, Olive Garden, TGIF, Applebee’s, Red Lobster, and the list goes on). As others have stated, that would include the meal itself, utensils, drink refills, as well as the wait staff bringing my meal to my table. If they aren’t happy, why not find a job in another industry…one that pays at least minimum wage and above. Colletively, we need to stop being conformists in this hegemonic society and lead our nation in the direction of earning what we’re worth. Waitresses/Waiters…if your unhappy with your earnings, complain to your employer about the unfair treatment, but don’t make me feel guilty or obligated to supplement your low wages. That is your employer’s responsibility, not mine.
In reply to Jsgirl96
Very well put indeed – especially the part about already paying a premium for not eating at a fast food joint.
In reply to Jsgirl96
Actually, if you were to go through the food/ produce orders of a fast food chain as opposed to a restaurant, that increase in price comes from restaurants ordering more expensive items, such as fresh produce and proteins that do not come in frozen squares. The reason fast food is so cheap is because the ingredients used are prepackaged, and often produced in a way that a lot of corners are cut in order to make it as cheap as possible. A restaurant is actually paying producers for a better quality of ingredient. Therefore, if you really want to go dollar for dollar, that increase in price in no way goes to a server’s wages.
By the way, if we all followed your logic and found other, minimum wage jobs, who would provide those services that you render so useless? The service industry (which includes food and beverage, cosmetics, and entertainment) would become nonexistent, and you wouldn’t be able to turn your nose up to the people who work hard so that you can have a good time.
In reply to Jsgirl96
You’re paying a higher wage because the food is usually fresh. It’s also not cooked in ten pounds of grease unless you are getting something fried. Also, a lot of restaurants these days are doing more of their own prep work. You also have an actual Chef cooking at a restaurant versus just a random person, off the street, cooking a burger patty in a minute on a press grill. So that’s what you are paying for… not for the service the server provides.
Folks, can we stop blaming employers for ” not paying enuf to waiters”. Its the law, we can legally pay them 3 to 5 $/hour. And we pay tax on that wage too. If they dont give tax on their tip income, its IRS’s problem to figure out how to make them do it.
And servers can go on strike, but not gonna change anything. There r so many important issues that gov needs to take care of.
My opinion on article; if u can afford eating out 5 days a week u r not cheap and u can tip 10% which i think more than enuf. If u eat out once a week it still wont hurt ur wallet to tip 10%. just a little common sense, we all can b part of solution, not the problem.
And waiters in my place make 100-150 in their 5 hour shift depending on a day. Thats 20-30 $/hour. Its pretty good if u ask me.
Again i think 15% is too much to ask. But u cant not tip either.
And that guy who wrote this article, is biggest POS that needs to get a life. Dude even owners dont want customers like u, so y dont u continue shopping at walmart and cook at home. And u can take ur sweetheart to mcdonald’s for anniversary!
Thanks
In reply to Not at the table Carlos
So, because it’s the law that means we should just stand by it? I don’t understand how we’re being POS’s if there are other countries(i.e. The United Kingdom) out there willing to give their workers due compensation and understand what the word “tip” means while your arguing for a law that keeps them below minimum wage, last time I checked, the restaurants outside this country are doing fine with their decently paid waiters, you on the other hand, sound like a typical, cheap American business owner who’s complaining about paying taxes for a business that sound like it’s doing fine if their waiters receive $100-$150 on a good, 5 hour shift day. You have the nerve to talk about common sense when you’re obviously ignoring the fact that it’s all around you.
P.S.- Your “But u cant not tip either” comment is fucking stupid, really stupid, so if the service you receive is sub-par and top it off, your waiter’s attitude is absolutely rude, then I should still tip? GTFO with that crap
In reply to Dossier
If you service sucks, don’t tip. Or tip 5%. But if you receive good service why not tip anywhere from 10 and 20%. We don’t have to agree with the law or stand by it but until it changes it is what it is.
U guys missing missing smthing here. Y u trying to make America just like other countries. America is America cuz of its unique culture, differences are not necessarily bad u ignorant dums! Differences make it rich. Fuck UK! U want to move there just cuz u gonna save some money not tipping? Be my guest. Oh, maybe u can wait tables there too cuz they pay more to their waiters:) its fucking most expensive place in the world. Y? Cuz they include gratuity In every fucking place u step on.
Besides, u will still pay whatever they ask for your fav ribs at TGIF if they decide to price it 2$ more to pay better wage to servers. And dollar more for ur each drink. At the end of the day money coming out of ur pocket is same. About 10-15% more than u used to pay. Then u gonna be happy? Y argue? Whats the point? Cuz all u gonna achieve is, have all the restaurants add 10% to their prices and give 5% to their servers and keep other 5.
Dude, i dont c why u guys bitching. If u live in USA u tip! If u dont tip, fine. Its ur stupidity and lack of knowledge in this matter.
Thanks
In reply to Not at the table Carlos
It’s more expensive because they are taxed for services such as nation-wide healthcare, so of course it’s more expensive. Here’s a thought, as someone else said before, why should I have to pay more than the receipt says? Just put it down as “gratuity”(which it fucking isn’t) or as a “service charge” fine, I’ll deal with that. But don’t be shifty, sometimes 10% isn’t acceptable to some waiters and I’ve seen that for myself. That and they wouldn’t make as much as they would.
In reply to Not at the table Carlos
You mean rich as in the current $14.7 trillion national debt???
I am so over seeing people say “why punish the waiter and not tip them?”
who’s REALLY punishing the waiters? the business that decides to be cheap and pay them below minimum wage? the customer who pays all the required fees? or the waiters that choose to take a job that they know will only pay them below minimum wage? think about that…
In reply to James
Fortunately for you James, there are a lot of generous people out there that paid for your service for you. If everybody was like you there would be no waitstaff at any restaurant because nobody would put up with serving people like you for nothing.
In reply to todd premus
amen!
In reply to James
AGAIN IT’S NOT THE BUSINESSES FAULT FOR THE WAITERS/WAITRESSES WAGE BEING LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE THAT IS A LAW SET BY THE STATE. Also, waiters and waitresses often make more than you or I if we were to take an entry level minimum wage job.
I have been living in Japan for over 20 years. Coming back to America and getting reacquainted with the “tipping social norm”, I am nothing short of dismayed with such a nonsense custom.
In Japan, EVERYONE working in the restaurant is there to serve YOU, the customer. No tips are required or expected. It is their job. Service in the US pales in comparison to service in Japan, even with best efforts at the best restaurants, so why should I further encourage such a social norm?
When I ask someone who is not my “designated waiter” for something, they usually freak and say “let me find your waiter”. That is pure nonsense. Structured this way, my service response time in the restaurant has been fractionalized by being assigned only one waiter, who usually disappears for most of my meal.
America needs to wake up to this nonsense social norm. I do not tip the person at the bank who is friendly and spends more time with me than the waiter. I do not tip the travel agent who prepares my itinerary for my trip. Why am I expected to pay 40 bucks on a 200 dollar tab and 10 bucks on a 50 dollar tab when the difference in service levels is almost indistinguishable? Total nonsense. Should I feel guilty for not staying with the social norm? Should I feel some “power” over the waiter’s wages? Should I have a good feeling of generosity and kindness if I tip 20+%? I think not. We are just brainwashed to think that way.
I cannot agree more with this post. Bottom line, if you do not like the money you are receiving at your job, whether it is in tips or wages, find something else. Restaurant owners, take note. If you abuse your waiters you may soon be punished.
I am all for a movement that posts signs in windows stating that ALL STAFF (table wipers and dishwashers too) are paid at least minimum wage and no tipping is allowed.
Am I a cheapskate? No, I am just being fair to everyone else. The guys who prepared the meals in the back, the ones who pick up the dishes, the ones who wash the tables and wipe the floors are not getting tips, are they? Why should you?
The Japan way of restaurant and staff management works very well and I encourage those who are new to this concept to study and perhaps embrace it.
In reply to Michael
Actually the cooks/ bussers usually DO get a portion of the server’s tips, and more times than not it is the servers who are cleaning the floors and wiping the tables. i know it is hard to understand something you have not experienced and I hate to say it this way, but a few months in the industry might change your tone. You really have to walk in our shoes to understand why people in the service industry are so adamant about tips.
In reply to Michael
Bussers, bartenders, runners and expos get tipped out by the servers. Also, the waiters/waitresses that say, “Let me find your waiter/waitress” are lazy. At my job we are all a team. I am a host and when I seat someone if they ask me immediately for their drinks I go and get them. If I walk by a table and I am asked for something, I take the time to go and get it. That is how it should be. Most of the servers at my place of employment would do the same. But, I have seen and experienced servers/hosts who can’t/don’t want to be bothered and would take the time to find your server. What they don’t understand is by the time they have found the server and asked them to either go see their table or relayed the diners wishes they could have done what they wanted at least two times.
I would just like to make the point that servers are required to tip out. We tip out the bartender and the food runner. Personally, I have also tipped out kitchen staff when they do a particularly good job or when they handle a rush well. So let’s say I have 13 tables going (typical of the dinner rush at my bar.) If by the end of dinner I have sold $200 in drinks and $300 in food, I owe the bartender at LEAST $10 and the food runner $15, and a five or ten to the kitchen staff, as well as some kickback to the bouncers and security if they’re on their game as well. If no one tipped, I would have come in to work and paid the staff upwards of $50 for the privilege of serving you.
SO FUCKING TIP.
To put the math more simply:
in ten minutes you order:
3 vodka tonics & an appetizer: $28
my tipout to bartender & FR: $1.40
your tip: $0.00
my pay: $3.60/hour = $0.60 for ten minutes
my gain: -$0.80
In reply to nora
Unionize and get better working conditions just like every other labor industry in the country.
In reply to bhagwad
Right to work law. Meaning unions are illegal. Republican 1% made sure of this.
In reply to bhagwad
Bhagwad. The simple truth is you’re a cheap ingrate who will complain and chisle your way through life. Stop trying to justify it. Be cheap, ingracious and stop acting like it’s a virtue. It’s who you are, and they are ugly qualities.
In reply to bhagwad
The union wants nothing to do with the food service industry. They would never unionize a restaurant. The turn over rate is way too high.
In reply to nora
Nora,
Here is a law firm that will represent you, free of charge, specifically on your tip pool issues.
http://www.877tippool.com/
I am 100% behind supporting you to do your best without a single tip. Your performance should be rewarded by management through promotions, increased salary or wages, but not by tips and certainly not by tip pooling.
In reply to nora
Better soloution, if no one tips you, you should not be expected to tip-out.
Pay to goto work? that is insane talk.
Nora,
Where in your contract does it say you REQUIRED to “tip out” the other staff?
If it does, there may be some recourse on your side against the employer for such a contract. Perhaps, you “feel” you need to “tip out” the other staff? That seems to be more the case.
Would it not be more simple if everyone just did the job they were paid for and tips were completely eliminated? It is all too ambiguous, which makes it confusing and unfair to those who work just as hard and secure no tips whatsoever.
Tip this person, but not this person. Oh, someone else brought me my plate instead of you…what should I do? Should I still give you 20% when you were only a small part of the picture? Are your talents skilled above the chef? Where is his tip? Why should you be paid when someone else brought me my plate, and what about when multiple people serve the table? You see, it’s confusing and I believe this system should be eliminated completely.
You agreed to represent the restaurant when you contracted with them, and when your service is good, the customer returns, strengthening the business. When the business is strong, management should in turn reward the staff…as a team representing the restaurant. All of the staff represent the restaurant, and service should all come to each customer as one force, involving everyone.
It seems you are thinking you are a an outside sub-contractor to the restaurant, and I believe you are not. You are part of the team, just like the door staff, the chefs, the water staff, and the clean-up staff…all one team.
No matter what industry or what our job description dictates, let’s just do our jobs as best as we can, as this is what we are paid for. Your wages should increase based upon positive feedback from the customers to the management about your service. If not, move on to another establishment or another profession. Isn’t this how people are promoted anyway?
In reply to Michael
Tipout automatically comes out of your payout at the end of the night and you have no choice in the matter. You obviously don’t have any experience in the industry and you might try doing a little research before you open your mouth on such things. If someone leaves me no tip, I still am required to tipout about 2% of that sale to bussers and bartenders which means I just paid for 2%of your meal. I work in one of the biggest names in the restaurant business and I know what I am talking about
In reply to Michael
and it would be wise for you to actually have experience at the job that you are trying to come off as an expert on
In reply to Michael
Servers have to tip out bussers, runners, bartenders and expos usually. Bussers help clean your table when the server is busy. Runners bring your food when the server is busy. Bartenders make your drinks. Expos help make sure the flow of the food coming from the kitchen to your table is done smoothly and in order. Does that help? So the server tips all those people that you see that help them out when they are at other tables. Therefore, part of everything the server makes through tips goes to help paying them. That is in the job description. This person just also tipped the kitchen and security if he felt they went above and beyond that particular night. Which is an awesome thing to do. I am a host and when someone tips me I am so so grateful. The other night a guy tipped me for blowing up a balloon for his kid. Seeing his kid smile was payment enough and I tried to give him back the $2 but it felt so nice that someone gave me that. It doesn’t take much to make us happy, just be fair. That’s all.
Personally, i don’t tip. I believe all servers are scum bags who just try to leach more money from the customer. You always got that twinkle in yer eyes until you realize you ain’t gettin’ anymore money from me, then you get all mad and pissy. It’s just an act. I don’t get a tip for excelling at my job (which I do, greatly), so why should average waiter joe get one for walking from point A to B with my food? They shouldn’t. I once had a waiter come up to me and get all tough after I paid and didn’t tip. Long story short, I punched him in the jaw after he started getting all up in my face. So not only did he not get a tip, now hes taking the rest of the shift off and going to the ER, which will probably cost him a good $900. I guess you guys arn’t too bright
In reply to Derrick
Well done, brother!
In reply to Derrick
Go back to India, cocksucker.
In reply to Derrick
Derrick, I would love to meet you and talk to you about my love for the service industry, and how my motivation comes from my love of people and helping them have a good time. Sure, I may run into aggressive people like you who try to make me lose that joy, but it helps me work on my patience, and chances are that for as many angry people are out there, there are just as many if not more that appreciate my hard work. You have every right to think however you like, but the generalization you’ve made here doesn’t speak to people like me who would have smiled at you on your way out and told you to have a great day, regardless of how much you did or did not tip. Although I can’t force you to, I hope one day your attitude changes and you can avoid physical confrontations with people who are, just like you, trying to make a living.
Agree…never liked the idea of giving tip. It hurts my pocket. I am not smiling while I am giving tip…as I have already paid for what I ordered. They survive on us…as wages are calculated including tips.
In reply to Reality
Reality:
They may survive on us, but their wages are adjusted by their employer should they fall short on tips. It’s federal law. In California, every waiter MUST earn at least $8.00 per hour. The person working at McDonalds also survives on us appearing at their place of employment, as do the ones at the car wash, Baja Fresh and everywhere else.
In reply to Michael
Laws and actual practices are not always congruous. A server who’s tips do not add up to minimum wage will usually not be compensated for the difference, he or she will be fired. Businesses find it much easier to just hire someone else who will work harder to make those tips. This is why servers/ bartenders rely on the generosity of patrons. Personally, I tip anyone in the service industry that I come in contact with, whether it be my server/ bartender, or my nail technician. I believe it is a courtesy for those who must interact/ deal with people’s quirks and personalities in order to make a living. I understand that it is difficult to understand from the perspective of someone who has never been immersed in the service industry, but tips really are an essential facet that makes the service industry work.
In reply to Michael
Not in Massachusetts