It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
You disgust me. This is how things work in the U.S. That is our rules and our law, servers pay are determined by the state. If you don’t like the laws our government sets than please feel free to get the fuck out of this country. I’m not some redneck screaming ‘merica, this country has plenty wrong with it, but the way servers are paid is not one. I served tables for 6 years through part of high school and college to pay for it until I got my degree and started working in business. Its assholes like you that screw hard working people out of money they need, no one waits tables because its fun and they don’t need the money. It can get to be really hard when employers under staff and not worth it when they over-staff… it takes the right servers to make a good restaurant just as it takes the right chefs and bartenders. I hope that the next time you go to a restaurant and screw an innocent American out of a tip you choke on your food and suffocate to death. Not everyone is bad (in fact most people are very nice and tip fairly) but some people from India and some Québécoise just don’t understand what the rules are. Just like anywhere you go in the world no matter who you are, learn the customs of a country before you visit so you don’t look like a piece of shit.
Your an asshole. Servers work far harder than lazy pieces of shit like you.
Hey you dothead fuck, howsabout you got back the the black hole of Calcutta or whatever other Indian shithole you crawled out of?
To start off this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. You can’t be serious with this. You tip your serve because as you stated earlier we bring you your food. If it wasn’t for us servers you wouldn’t get to fulfill your cravings in which you came for. Honestly you should just eat out at fast food. You’re cheap and don’t deserve the right to eat out tipping is part of that. I just waited on you hand and foot ran around like a crazy person to make sure your experience out was a good one. And for your information I do care about my tables and their happiness. I take pride in what I do regardless of what it is. And if you don’t like the way Americans do things you can get the fuck out of my country. This is how it’s done in America.
You are a tight pocketed cunt.
You’re right, it should be added into the bill. Of course when you saw it added to the bill you would still bitch because you are a pathetic piece of shit. If it was added in with the price of food you would still have to pay it so exactly what is your point? Why don’t your punk ass just tip your server? It’s a harder job than anything you have ever had…
Actually, servers don’t make minimum wage. In NJ, we make 2.13 an hour. And there are days when I work a 6 or 7 hour shift and leave with 40 dollars. I work my ass off to make sure my guests food come out on time, while helping to maintain a clean kitchen and help out my fellow servers. And after working a 25-30 hour work week, my “paycheck” is 17 dollars. When you see us breaking our necks to get you your extra napkins and ketchup, we are also taking care of 3 or 4 other tables, running their food, getting their drinks, and get their salads and soups out before every thing else. Our job is difficult. And just to be clear, when I try to get to know my tables, I’m genuinely interested. It makes my shift easier when I’m getting along with my tables and I hear that one story that made me smile. I don’t just squeeze money out of my tables. I like connecting with my guests and giving them a good experience.
I used to come across people like this when I worked as a bartender in the Florida Keys. Every so often a foreigner would get some crazy notion that somehow the rules of common courtesy did not personally apply to them. The simple fact of the matter is that if a restaurant paid the service emoloyees a standard wage, the price of the meal would increase thusly. Simple mathematics really. So leaving it up to the customer to decide how much each server gets paid keeps the food price as low as possible, while at the same time encouraging the service person to be attentive, patient, and nice to people such as yourself who seem to think you are somehow better than everyone else. You can minimize this part of the experience, and call for it’s end, but it would take away any incentive for quality people to want to do this job, which would be terrible in the long run. By the way, when these foreigners would leave without tipping, it was generally the other foreigners at the bar that would be the most angry about it, and would tip me most generously on their behalf. So thanks for that, and the next time you want to explain why you don’t want to tip just type “I am super super cheap, and very narcissistic”, and just leave it at that.
Look here you spoon feed towel head terrorist mother fucker. You have probably never worked for any thing a day in your life. You are probably here illegally. If you dont like servers and go in the kitchen and your fucking your food yourself. Do not go to place where NEED TO BE SERVED. If you not going to tip tell them up front and so you dont get good serve and get can your own food. If you to cheap to leave a tip stick to your own restuarants with the rest of the towel head none tipping terrorists. If you don’t tip, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF PLACE THAT REQUIRE SERVICE.
I was just about to keep reading until I saw a comment as ignorant as saying that “the waiting/serving job is UNSKILLED.”. Yes the job is rather easy right? Listening to your meal/drink choice, bring it to you and collect money. Period! Now that would be easily accomplished by simply being assigned ONE table. Sure a minimun wage would suffice. But as you can see, employers/owners have to make money somewhere and like Hell they can afford 1 waiter/server per table. That would be ridiculously overstaffing the place for such an EASY job right? Why not let 1 waiter/server handle 20 tables? This is much more advantaging for the company as reducing the number of staff. Still it sounds easy.
Now you have to think outside the box. IT’S TIME TO! It’s getting interesting.
Table one walks in, dating couple, sits down and start catching up, not looking at the menu. You come up to them asking if you may bring them anything to drink while looking through the menu, because you have manners. They keep talking and tell you to come back in ” a bit ” with two Grand Marnier on ice. You go punch that order in the computer and while you wait….
BAM! Table two and five just got occupied too, you may come up to them as fast as possible (you don’t want to make people wait), because you have manners. Table two are regulars, they won’t need to look at the menu and will shoot everything one shot and IN DETAILS. No onions, no sesame on the thing, allergies, preferred garnish, double shot for the martinis, etc etc etc!!! You note down and have to make your quick way to table. Oopohhhh they’re in a hurry and they will simply think that you’re probably doing nothing else beside serving them. They ask for appetizers. While they’re asking you what’s the filling for the dumplings? or is there MSG inside the food? The drinks for table one has been sitting for a while, you have to get table two’s orders punched or else they’re gonna have to wait forever and table five is still asking you shit and you can’t have your mind worrying on anything else beside carefully taking table five’s orders and shit pay fuckin attention to their requests and ohhh shit drinks still waiting on the counter, no orders punched yet annnddd ohh shiit they ain’t done ordering slowly (but remember, they’re in a hurry and need to be served ASAP UPS Express Delivery) ANNDD OH SHIT YOU’RE THINKING THAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO BE FUCKED TABLE SIX AND FOUR JUST SAT DOWN AND OHH SHIIT WTF SCREW A OF YOU MOTHER€>%^}€ERS WHO THINK THIS JOB IS EASY AS BREATHING AND DOT HAVE ANY CONSIDERATION FOR PEOPLE WHO NEEDS TO BE SMART TO DO ALL KINDS OF CRAZY MULTITASKING SHIT FOR GOD’S SAKE.
But no, you will calml tell them that you’ll be back with their appetizers and drinks first, then you gladly take their main dishes. All that with a bluffing smile, because you have manners. THEN YOU GO GET THE FUCKING JOB DONE. TELL ME ONE MORE FUCKING TIME THIS JOB IS NOT MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DEMANDING AND I WILL BE GLAD TO LET YOU “listen to people’s orders and serve them. “.
Anything can happen with this kind of job. You approach different kinds of people, hence require different things. You made a fool out of you for thinking that this job does not deserve a more decent wage and is totally “unskilled”. Don’t fucking get me started with handling dishes. The fuck you think serving 5 plates over 5 trips.
– A fucking waiter/server, Bao.