It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Here is a fantastic article on this subject:
http://live.gourmet.com/2010/09/app-exclusive-the-death-of-tipping/
This thread is probably already dead, but I’ll comment anyways. I work as a waiter. As such, I completely disagree with your opinion. You can call me a bigot or incredibly biased, but it’s an experience you don’t truly understand unless you try it. I work to support my parents and I rely on tips greatly. If you’re telling me that I should either quit or demand a higher wage, you have a very limited view. In this economy, it’s hard enough to find a job let alone keep one. So, quitting is out of the option and asking an employer for higher wages is practically asking to be fired. I’m 17 and I can’t exactly find a job elsewhere by the way. What you need to understand is no one wishes to be a restaurant worker. Some people are simply born into unfortunate circumstances that prevent them from succeeding elsewhere. For example, there is a chef at our restaurant who immigrated from Mexico, hoping things would be better over here. He’s dedicated and hardworking, an overall great guy. The only problem is that no one would hire him because he can’t speak English well and he isn’t particularly skilled in much. Now, if you’re saying tough luck then you can try living in Mexico because it obviously can’t be too easy to get an education or live well. There’s also me for an example too. My family’s poor, so I have to work. It isn’t exactly easy for a high schooler to get a job anywhere for the matter because employers are more willing to hire older people. Also, I forgot to mention that we pool our tip with everyone, meaning the waiters, the employers, (who by the way work as chefs too because it’s a small business, which also brings me to the fact that some employers can’t afford to pay well) and the waiters. So, people like you are hurting not just the waiters most of the time. By the way, don’t generalize. Just because some waiters treat you poorly does not mean all waiters will. If you don’t tip me, I won’t spit in your food nor provide you with less service. Also, this brings me to my last point. Sorry I’m not organized. I’m just writing whatever comes to mind. Working as a waiter really isn’t a simple job in my opinion. It’s difficult to remember every single request of the consumer. Like for example, table 1 wants napkins and a bowl, table 12 wants me to refill their glasses of water, table 4 is waiting for me to take their order, table 2 needs me to bring their food, etc. It really requires you to multitask and keep track of what you’re doing. In addition, I have other responsibilities not just limited to bringing food across tables. I have to refill the napkins when they get low and also the plastic bags and chopsticks. I need to wash the dishes and also clean the bathrooms, which includes refilling the toiletries. By the way there’s a lot more I do but I really don’t feel like listing it because this rant is getting really long. Also, this may not be the experience of most waiters but please understand that there are people out there who do deserve tips and it is in your best interest to not group us with all the people who have maybe provided you with bad service( I say maybe because you might be just assuming that you’re waiter is unhappy)
In reply to Steven
I get what you’re saying Steven. But in principle, don’t you think it would be better for everyone if the employer simply charge us more for food on the bill and paid you better wages? It might not be possible for they system to change now, but are you happy with it in the first place?
Steven,
I can appreciate your situation, really. At 17 you must be confused with the world around you, lacking direction and a real purpose in life. However, the sooner you learn this, the better. You are where you are today based upon everything you know up to this point in your life. In other words, if your world is to get better, you must get better.
How do you spend your time away from work? Are you focusing on a better future or watching TV until it is time to sleep? It’s really up to you and no one really cares if you succeed in life or fail.
You may want to pick up a copy of Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
http://www.amazon.com/Think-Grow-Rich-Napoleon-Hill/dp/0449214923
If your mind is prepared to receive the content, it could be life changing. Many of us start in dead-end jobs like small restaurant waiters, but it is up to you to change your life and move beyond that. Don’t look for jobs, create them. Imagine that concept. Achieve your own goals, or be doomed to achieve the goals of others.
THE UGLY TRUTH ABOUT SERVERS.
I am from Washington State servers will be paid $9.04 a hour starting January 2011 no tip credit for the employer so………. the server checks will be higher because
the restaurant will have to raise prices to pay the wages. As the check costs go up
the server just gets a larger tip. Once again the server wins . The owner has to pay the higher wage the employee labor and industries tax, social security tax and employment security tax. And no SERVERS you do not pay into unemployment – your employer pays it all !! Servers are the highest paid employee in the building.
Dear server: I might be able to listen to some of your complaints if you had ANY INTEGRITY. Honestly,
do you know one server who EVER claims ALL of their tips. I have never known one and been in the business
for 35 years. You are the biggest group of WHINERS ! Oh, they didn’t tip me !! THEY DON’T OWE YOU A TIP!! If the general public heard how you talked about them they would never tip you anyway. Yes, some of you work very hard but so do a lot of people including the people who cook the food for you over a hot stove.Have you ever ONCE thought about the owners side. We have run our restaurant for 30 years – day and night – this year so far we have lost over 100,000. Not one server has a clue! Frankly most servers are not worth $9.04 an hour so we will let the average ones go. If they go on unemployment their checks would be larger if they would have claimed all their tips. We always know when a server wants a loan from a bank, is considering unemployment or a L & I claim because all of a sudden they start claiming more tips so their income looks larger. WHAT DECEPTION ! Servers seem to have it figured out.
This is the topper. If you servers don’t claim all your tips and the IRS figures it out usually the restaurant has to pay the back tips and the fines and penalties EVEN THOUGH we cannot legally make you claim them FAIR?
you decide.
And just for your information. When restaurants go out of business 30% is caused by employee theft.
Like, eating without paying, giving away free food drinks etc, out right stealing ( OH, i forgot WE OWE YOU!
THERE YOU GO – THE UGLY TRUTH – (their is more, I could write a book)
Finally,Someone who understands me!
Concerning tipping – I won’t comment this, it’s culture thing (in some countries tipping is even strictly forbidden) and You can do what You want (seriously – I don’t judge You here – I’m completely neutral), but actually first reason is kinda stupid – the very idea of restaurant is based on full service it offers – not only food. You wrote that the restaurant owner could put a tip into food price, but that kills the whole idea of tipping – then You would be forced to tip and You wouldn’t be able to raise or decrease the amount of tip (which ultimately is some kind of telling the waiter that You were pleased [or not] with Your whole “restaurant experience”). I understand Your point – I just disagree with choice of first reason :)
I have been in the service business for a few years trying to support my family during financial hardship. I have owned companies and been a cheif executive many times. Karma has found me in position I would have never dared thought. I do believe that service people should at least recieve minimum wage ($8-$9 per) plus the customary America Tip amount of 15-20%. Unionization isn’t the answer look at what that has done for Spain, Italy, Greece, and yes the United States.
I have driven a cab and worked as a concierge I have found that without a doubt there are cultural differences. The Indian, from India tend to not want to part with “any” money, as they feel that they are better than person providing the service, or that they American Way is unfair, so they should not pay anything. I have found that Indians once they become citizens of the US sometimes see the light and go along with customary norms at a minimum level. From experience I have found generally any country previously part of, or currently part of the British Empire, just don’t like to tip, just like back home for them.
I have seen here many reasonable rebuttals to the intial postulate, but lets face it, bhagwad just doesn’t want to pay his “fair” share no matter what anyone says. It is unfortunate that the many other considerate patrons pays “his” way. What is interesting to me is that in other countries – that often even mock our graciousness – would prefer an American patron “every” time, because of our tipping for service pratices.
In reply to J. M. Fox
Yes look what the unions have done for Spain, Italy and Greece – great job !
Alright B-wad. Just ask your server to include gratuity on your next bill so you have a reciept for it.
Then shut the god damn fuck up and get out.
In reply to nora
Unfortunately, they won’t include it in the bill even if I ask them. See the problem with not having a standardized price list?
In reply to bhagwad
I GUARANTEE you that if I were serving you, I would include gratuity if you asked. Many restaurants require that it be added to parties over 8, so the capability is there. I’m sure if you told the server that you were a jackass and it was the only way they would get a tip, they’d do it for you.
See the problem with being a difficult, ignorant jackass?
In reply to Nora
And what will you bill it as? Restaurants require a gratuity included in the bill for parties of eight and above only (and you still get a tip!)
So what will you write in the bill? That I’m paying you your salary which your employer is supposed to give you?
Why should I take that burden on myself? Did I come to eat or be Jesus?
In reply to bhagwad
Uh, obviously I’d bill it as gratuity. Whatever percent you prefer. Default is 20%. It would show up on the bill included in your total, and when reports are done at the end of the night gratuities are included in not just the waitstaff’s tips but also their SALES.
God damn you are ignorant. You must get your rocks off on being difficult.
In reply to Nora
Tell you what – the next time you go to walmart, make sure you tip the cashier 20% of your bill too.
Why not spread the love?
In reply to bhagwad
That has nothing to do with what we’re talking about?
You asked how you could have a tip included in your bill so you could have a receipt for it, and I responded with the reasonable response of asking for gratuity to be included into your bill.
In reply to Nora
You misunderstand. You see, I only give money when I get something in return. I’ve already paid the bill which includes the cost of your salary and therefore your services too. So why should I pay extra?
Of course, you can always put an item on the bill saying “Because I’m poor” – cause that’s what gratuity really is – begging.
In reply to bhagwad
You kind of remind me of those religious bigots you see on movies like Jesus Camp – it doesn’t matter what arguments are levied against you, you insist on being right. There is no time to be reasonable – you are right and that is that.
Sir, we are done. You are not the kind of person who will come to the establishment at which I work and so I do not need to worry about you any further.
Enjoy your cheap, courteousness-free life, bastard.
In reply to Nora
Ah the irony of calling me the person ignoring arguments! I’m pretty sure you were describing yourself just there, and redirected your focus onto me since your ego didn’t allow you to admit that they were meant for you :)
Just so you understand, you didn’t respond to even one of my arguments – either in the original post or in the comments.
Who’s behaving like a religious bigot again?
In reply to Nora
“Why does the waiter not bill me for their services? If they’re rendering me a service I have the right to a receipt. And why isn’t the quantity of the bill shown to me up front? If waiters are truly freelancers, then I want to get a bill just like I get a bill for the food.”
In reply to bhagwad
Yes, “SHARE THE WEALTH”
In reply to bhagwad
Also, ignoramus, people RARELY tip over gratuity. Randoms don’t as least. Of course, last night I had a customer with a 450$ bill, plus a $92 gratuity add another $200 onto my tip because I gave excellent service for his bottle service table all night.
He’s nice. You’re a dick.
In reply to Nora
Of course you gave him excellent service – though god knows what “excellent” service means. Did you get his food cooked faster? No. Did you feed him with your hands? No. What did you do? You took the food from the cook and gave it to him!
Yeah – well earned no doubt. I bet you like idiots who just throw away their money at you. But don’t get pissed if the rest of us aren’t that stupid.
In reply to bhagwad
I said it was bottle service, there is no food?
Read first, respond second.
In reply to Nora
So you did even less work than you were supposed to. My bad.
In reply to bhagwad
Different, certainly not less.
In reply to Nora
Did you report the entire tip to the IRS or are you another thief like all the other servers I know?
In reply to nora
Or include the price of the worker in the food so the customer can make a rational choice about the price of the total experience. its exactly the same argument but of course… that wouldnt be acceptable because waitresses expect to guilt people into overpaying gratuities so they can make money under the table instead of paying their fair share of tax.
until I see a waitress tip a mcdonalds worker $5-$10 for their happy meal,
NO TIP FOR YOU NORA!
In reply to allen
Post as yourself, Ballsack.
The fact that you run a website specifically for this is ridiculous. Sorry, but no one is going to Unionize. This is how it works here in America, and its been running this way for decades. No one gets a job in a restaurant or bar for any other reason. Why don’t you get a job doing this for a year, here in America, at least as a test and then come post your reasons. The restaurant industry here runs this way. We report all of our sales and are taxed accordingly. You can say “that’s not my problem, it’s theirs for working for someone like that'” but if you knowingly do this, then you are knowingly being a dick. The Just running this site means you are a dick. I know in other countries that gratuity is included in the price of items, and I know that in other countries some get offended if you tip. ITS A CULTURAL DIFFERENCE. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT THEN DON’T GO OUT TO EAT. We live in a weird time my friend. We can’t change this, the restaurant industry would collapse. I would never spit in anyone’s food or drinks, in fact non tippers still get great service from me, but just don’t expect me to sit in front of you and answer a ton of questions if I could be making money off of someone else. I don’t try to be anyone’s best friend, I just make sure that I am approachable(I am specifically a bartender now). This is a capitalist industry and when you go out to eat and know you are not going to tip, then you are literally stopping that person from making money by sitting down in their table. Waiters work in sections and are allotted a certain amount of tables, each table represents the ability to make more money in a certain amount of time. You can argue until you’re blue in the face, but this is just how it works out here. Hell I go out sometimes and tip cheap if they give me crappy service, but it’s a symbolic gesture letting them know that they screwed up. I never tell customers they need to tip me, but if I’m doing good by them, why not show me some appreciation for my ability. Restaurants are dicks too, they pay minimum so that they can keep costs down, which is why gratuity is not automatically in the bill. You can have your opinions about whatever you want, just know by you doing this, promoting this even, you are doing wrong by the people who are working so hard to make sure you have an enjoyable stay.
In reply to Maxon primly
So almost every other industry in the US has unionized workers to demand better working conditions and wages, but waiters somehow think these basic rules don’t apply to them?
Don’t unionize if you don’t want to. But then don’t cry when I pay the bill and nothing else and you’re stuck with piss poor wages from your employer.
Oh, and to hell with cultural differences.
In reply to bhagwad
There it is… The last sentence just totally made sense of this entire page and all it’s nonsense. You’re just a fucking troll. How often do you go back to an American Restaurant and notice the service hasn’t changed? Do you see yourself with a different waiter than the rest of the area? People are bickering on who wants to serve the cheap-ass Indian dude. I never say this to anyone, but go the fuck back if you’re not already gone.
In reply to bhagwad
So your waiter should have to pay extra tax on your meal? What if your super hungry and order a lot? Once again that’s on them to pay that extra out of their paychecks? Shove that’s not my problem up your ass. That’s a cop out answer. The industry runs like this man, if your trying to prove a point against the man, then your doing it wrong. Your only hurting the common man.
In reply to bhagwad
I’m not going to reply to anything else you say, I’ll be too busy being a decent human being.
In reply to Maxon primly
Your language in your previous comment proved that you are anything but decent.Yes, please do not comment anymore. We do not need to read such dirty language.
In reply to bhagwad
Go home, you parasitic piece of amphibian shit. You dotheads are the scum of the earth and your nation should be nuked.
As a waiter, I have never begged for tips. I do appreciate kindness of others, and living in California, I am taxed 12% of my sales. Regardless of what I make, or what I am required to tip out to others, I am held responsible for a theoretical salary. I do understand the frustration of the customers, but tipping is still optional. No restaurant will deny services to non tipping customers. If you encounter a server who does, speak to their manager. They will be fired.
As for the idea of a restaurant union, sounds nice on paper, but will never work. If restaurants were required to pay their employees a decent wage, an 8 dollar sandwich today will cost 13. Most restaurants fail in their first year of operation. Unions or no unions, the customer will still pick up the bill or everyone will be out of a job.
Most people tip about 15%. Some pay more. Some pay less or nothing at all. That is just part of the job