It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
5 Reasons this is boring: It’s nothing but troll-fodder. It’s unoriginal. It’s poorly written. It’s only one jerk-off’s opinion. Most American’s already understand this particular economic structure.
dude, you’re an asshole. tips should be given out of respect cause guess what… the server has to pay for your meal as well! the 15% minimum that they suggest is what the server has to pay as well. also, ‘You don’t get paid enough’ and ‘Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra’ aren’t reasons to stiff someone. do you get up off your ass and get the food? NO! you just sit there and expect them to bring it to you like a servant. oh, and my favorite: ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’. if money doesn’t grow on trees, then why the hell are you going out to eat? to lazy to pop something in the microwave or cook something yourself? and you complain about there being worse jobs, yes there are worse jobs, but i’m sure sales floor worker isn’t one of them. i’m tired of seeing servers treated horribly because some people are ignorant asses! before you go putting other people down for the jobs they work hard at, think about how it is on there side.
Obviously none of u fags have ever worked a job as demanding as service industry… And I fought for my country and that’s not as bad as putting up w u stuck up pieces of shit who expect me to worship the ground u walk on for ur crap tip! I wish I could throw that shitty tip n ur face! It’d b more worth it to me than taking it! FUCK U ALL!! And don’t sit n my section I take care of people not cheap pieces of shit!! Go to McDonald’s u don’t tip there cas u don’t get service assholes
You are off the wall rude. Have you ever even tried to serve food in a restaurant setting? The servers work extremely hard for the money. They take your order, re fill your drinks, bring your food, clean up after you, and everyone else. They deserve to get great tips for giving you a service. I can’t believe you could even say those things about them. They work their ass off to make you happy! If you don’t tip, you should NOT be going out to eat. Cook at home get fast food, but do not demand a service and not give the servers the tip they deserve. If you do not tip, managers have the right to refuse service to you for as long as they want.
Oh, I see a dirty limey is the culprit to this article and is obviously anti-American. I hope you are recognized for this and that the next time you have spotted dick, it’s not the kind you can eat.
Seriously, Indians are the worst tippers ever. And possibly some of the most annoying people around. And why don’t any of them like ice in their water?
For those of you who don’t tip, do you know that most of your friends that you treat to a nice dinner, know you’re a cheap ass and tip to make up for your sorry behavior? Unfortunately, this only happens 50% of the the time. The humorous part is that some hard working, skilled, servers think highly of your unintelligent selves. Does that make you shake with anger, you non tippers? That your hard diligence of trying not to tip goes unnoticed? I hope it does; and, being a server, I hope you keep your classy friends, who actually knows how the system works, around.
It’s the fucking service industry. You don’t want the service? Order your shit to go and eat in your car. Don’t waste my time or table when it could be filled with people who know that it’s how our country set up the industry. If you want to just eat your food, Cook your own god damn food. This goes for you fucking Canadians and Europeans that don’t feel they need to tip.. Go back to your own fucking countries or respect and honor the way we do things in AMERICA.
Have you heard of a grocery store? or carryout? There are other ways to enjoy food without having to tip. Don’t sit at a table and demand good service for free. Please name me a product or service that is free in the u.s., i cannot think of one. Its called a dining experience and servers are there to make the experience as great as possible. Dude is totally ignorant. It’s not our employers it is state law that determines minimum wage. We don’t try to be your best friend, our job is to make your dining experience awesome, so I’m sorry if we’re nice to you. And spit in your food if you don’t tip? I’m pretty sure you have already finished your food and left the building before I find out you stiffed me- dumbass. It’s not just people like this, but ignorance in general, that pisses me off.
After initially reading your attempt at “blogging” or “creative writing”, I originally wanted to throw my computer at a wall. Then I wanted to write every expletive and adjective that you are, but hey, after reading most of the comments on this posting, I figured it be redundant. You clearly know you’re somewhere between animal excrement and lint in some people’s eyes.
The unfortunate fact that restaurant employers pass the buck to the consumer in paying their employees to keep food costs down is medieval but I don’t understand the antagonistic perspective you have to servers in general. It seems like you want minimal contact with them, that you view them as beneath you. However you also seem the type that if a server treated you like the piece of work you are, you’d yelp, squawk, and google your terrible experience and the dismissive help.
The idea that servers tamper with your food is a deterrent to you’re tipping is a cop out. I can’t deny that it’s probably happened somewhere, but living in the “what if realm” is kinda crazy. If you’ve based your dining experience on the movie “Waiting”, then spoiler alert, it’s highly exaggerated.
In closing, I think if you have this much aggression and need to take it out on people who have even less control of their work surroundings than you, then I suggest not going out to eat, or human contact period.
Also, I suggest the title of this post should be “5 reasons why you’ll be forever single”.