It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
I don’t approve of this guy at all. He knows nothing of the restaurant business. 9 out of 10 new restaurants fail in their first year. That is a lot of jobs coming and going. Its really hard to make a profit in this business. It is a part of our culture. (With what lack of culture we have) You are basically going out to be waited on, you’re letting yourself be lazy in a sense. You’re willing to pay X amount of dollars to have a dish cooked for you and brought out to you, have your drinks refilled, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO GET UP! Anything you need that is in their ability will be taken care of FOR YOU! Again, if you’re willing to pay X amount of dollars, the amount you spend could’ve been enough to buy the ingredients and make it yourself and have leftovers. Not willing to leave a tip? Then you shouldn’t be eating out then you cheapskate.
Just because in your country ten percent or no tip at all may be customary and what you are used to, that is just not how things work in the States. When I am in France and tipping isn’t customary, sure I don’t do it. If I am in Costa Rica and someone tells me it is customary to tip your maid twenty percent, great I am happy to oblige. But that is just not how things work here.
In your ignorant “I don’t get paid enough” blurb, you make it seem as if some employers have decided they are going screw over their servers by choosing to pay them less. The fact is, that in the US, tipped employees receive half or less of the minimum wage as their base salary and tips account for the rest. So in Illinois, servers like myself get paid $4.25 an hour—-however, all of these wages immediately goes to taxes so each paycheck a server receive results in $0.00, and at the end of the year you owe the government even more cause you are taxed on your claimed tips. SO everything you make as a server comes from the guest, and that is what WE HAVE AGREED ON AS A CULTURE. Its not like this has just started happening, this is how employees in the restaurant industry have been getting paid for decades, if its new to you and you don’t like it, don’t go out to eat.
Furthermore, the tip that you give your server doesn’t just go to them. The server at the end of every shift pays out of their pocket the bussers, bartenders, food runners, and sometimes cooks. So if you feel like servers don’t DO anything (even though we have to placate temperamental assholes like yourself, know in depth details of all dishes, drinks, and ingredients, time out all the food coursing and coordinate with the kitchen on multiple tables needs constantly, pay close attention to allergies, food preferences, etc etc etc—you’re right that is not a job at all…..) we are also paying people who do more action orientated tasks like running food, polishing plates, making drinks, etc as well. So when you stiff a server, you are morally agreeing that it is also ok not to pay the busser, the food runner, etc. Clearly you have no conscious in whether or not people can buy their groceries at the end of the week because YOU do not think that tipping makes sense. Well guess what, its not YOUR cultural rule to amend or alter. This is simply the way things are in our culture, so either deal with it or don’t go out to eat—-my guess is you have no way of enjoying anything anyways you bitter, cheap piece of shit. The karma of not paying hundreds of people will come back on you eventually and I hope somehow I can be around to see it.
In reply to Annonymous
Well said anonymous on the above respond to this ridiculous blog post or whatever it is.. this philistine who fell out of a freakin coconut tree and was lucky enough not live in his filthy village clearly lacks attention, was neglected as a child or has an extremely small and smelly penis that not even a dirty diseased prostitute whore would touch with a ten foot pole. This piece crap excuse as a human Bhagwan Jal <—< btw: nice name douche hole
Should be hogtied and beat like a piñata just for fun..
Would you rather every bill in every restaurant you go into contain an 18-20% gratuity on the bill that you are FORCED to pay, or would you rather have the CHOICE to leave less if the service warrants it?
If you have that gratuity on every bill, good luck getting any sort of quality service, your server will know that they have that 18-20% in their hands and have no motivation to provide any sort of service to you. Even when I am in a foreign country where the servers ARE making decent wages I still enjoy rewarding good service. The server is allowing me to enjoy my meal and have NOTHING to worry about other than enjoying myself. When poor service is provided then I then in turn have the right to reward my server with a poor gratuity, I am not FORCED to pay a fee that is undeserved.
The assumptions you make about the service industry are like me saying you must be a terrorist because you appear to be middle eastern. Neither are fair assessments.
By all means though, please come into my restaurant, inform my servers and I that you don’t intend to pay for your service and I will gladly let you explain to yourself what dishes on the menu are the better options for what you are trying to decide between and what wines pair well with each, you can enter your own order into the computer system that you don’t know how to use, you can pour your own drink that you don’t know the ingredients to, you can cook your meal that you don’t know how to cook, pick it up from the kitchen fight through he crowds and get it to your table to eat with the silverware you cleaned yourself, at the table you set for yourself. Every time you want that water glass refilled you can fight back through those crowds and refill that yourself too.
I’m sure whoever you have joining you for your meal will feel a bit lonely while you are running around providing your own DINING EXPERIENCE to yourself. But I have no doubt at that point you would give yourself a gratuity…
In reply to Ron Dugans
Since you ask, I would rather have a compulsory gratuity in the bill. Even better, include the cost of it in the food prices so I can make an upfront comparison of how much different restaurants cost.
In reply to bhagwad
You think it seems fair to then be forced into paying for unsatisfactory service? I do not.
It actually seems to be genuine hypocrisy, you are willing to pay for poor service that is DEMANDED at a rate determined by the restaurant or even the servers themselves, however you are not willing to volunteer a reward to a server at a rate you deem they have earned.
Being in the restaurant industry(and holding an office job 40 hours a week, with a college degree) I am likely to leave my server no tip if they do nothing to earn it. I know how hard I work for my gratuities, if my server is not willing to work for it then so be it, but if they are then I am more than generous with the gratuities I am willing to leave, not because it is “customary” but because I feel they earned it by serving me. Just as I feel I should earn the gratuities afforded me each shift, good and bad.
It just seems to be quite ignorant to bash the American culture over something you clearly do not have a full understanding of.
In reply to bhagwad
Really? You removed my last post? Does that mean you agree that your stance is overtly hypocritical?
In reply to Ron Dugans
Ok, maybe not, computer issues, but you must agree with the overt hypocrisy either way…
Wow…
Personally I have worked as the C.F.O. of my father’s business for 10 years. I recently decided to take a parttime job as a server to help out my family. I now work for my father for free. Instead of taking a salary from him, he can use that money to pay for my mother’s healthcare. As I type she is currently dying of cancer. I can’t take a “real” job, as you want to call it because I need to be able to also help at the job I now do for free and to help take care of my mother. I have to keep my own sanity in tact while dealing with DICK HEADS like you. I can’t let my sadness or anger come across while dealing with unruly children and assholes that think they are the only person in the world. As for this being an unskilled job.. have you tried it? Honestly? Have you ever once tried it? You have to have some of the best communication skills, not to mention memory and multitasking skills. Having 6 tables with 5 or more people sitting at them all wanting things like a soda, ranch, more crackers, napkins, crayons for their kids (who are just going to break or eat them) and then the next person saying my well done burger is too well done, this drink isn’t strong enough, blah, blah, blah….
I don’t want to make it sound that horrible so I will stop. I actually enjoy the service industry. I meet tons of great people that become friends, we get to know each other on more personal levels. So if you think someone is pretending to be your best friend.. they probably aren’t pretending. Maybe they think you look lonely and need someone to talk too. But you sir can keep your money. I would not want money from you anyway. I will keep doing what I do and having wonderful experiences meeting people I would have otherwise never met. Oh and I make $2.50 an hour, but I average anywhere from $25 to $40 on some nights because I do an awesome job taking care of my customers (even the ones that I know aren’t going to tip well) … so you can take your “real job” and cubicle and shove it up your ass!
There are so many things wrong with this post that I’m not even sure where to start. Let me begin by saying that I prefer the system where servers get paid one wage without tipping as well. But the problem with your argument is that YOU EXPECT THE SERVERS TO FIX THE BROKEN SYSTEM. They do not have that power. So basically this post argues that you should punish the server for the government’s dumb decision about their job. Right. As far as your first point goes, many restaurants REQUIRE that kind of obnoxious service. I don’t like it either when I’m a customer. But if I’m struggling to find a job and have finally scored one as a waitress, and my employer says to smile like an idiot and ask how everything is and ask about my patrons’ fucking kids then I will do it. Again, you punish the servers for their employers’ policies. As for your second point, WAITERS DO NOT GET PAID MINIMUM WAGE. Tipping is considered part of their salary. You make waiters sound greedy for wanting tips. No, they just understand, like you do, that money does not grow on trees and that expecting someone to live on $2-4 an hour is wildly unfair. If you have a problem with the system, by all means, take it up with the lawmakers. But punishing the waitstaff is bloody ridiculous.
I’ve never waited tables in my life but for some reason, I can’t help but be infuriated by this post. You are a stingy, self-centered, and quite frankly a despicable excuse for a human being.
I am a waiter and this is the one of the worst written articles I have read thus far. All those points you made are ridiculous, you can’t be serious with all those…
Not everyone can be a server.
You know how many people we fire because they can’t handle the job? People (exactly like you ironically enough) are fucking assholes and will be rude right to your face and you have to take it and eat it just like the food we bring to your fat ass. You have to be able to multi task and you have to be organized and most important of all you have to have good time management. If you got sat at a restaurant and didn’t see your server 30 seconds after you have been seated, we get in trouble. If you do not have your drinks on your table within two minutes of you being there, we get in trouble. If you had appetizers and you did not get them 5-8 minutes after you ordered them, we get in trouble. Now, times that by 3 or however many tables you have, still easy? Now, add people saying ” why don’t you have…” Or “the last time i was here they did….” And having to go grab a manager because now they are mad at YOU for something the RESTAURANT does not have. And while this is going on, your other tables are wondering where you are because they think that they are your only table so they expect you and everything now, when that doesn’tyou. So please excuse us for trying to be your ‘best friend’ while we are serving you, we are trying to make you not hate us. Although its quite apparent that people like you will come in and be bitched up.
Just because you are ignorant doesn’t mean people who work hard should have to suffer. I would love to see you serve for a day, and cry when you don’t make a single dollar. We have bills to pay, and some of us have mouths to feed, so do us all a favor and stick to McDonald’s because thats all you are worth. Oh and just an FYI be careful who you say this too, restaurants are allowed to refuse any service they want. Think about that.
I have worked in the industry for years, as well as held professional jobs. Serving customers, and owning a bar/restaurant are among my skills, as well as being a teacher. I can look at this from the standpoint of worker and owner of a food service business, and of someone who patronizes them. The food service business is tough. Finding workers who can actually do the job well, and with a demeanor that fits the industry is often difficult. The job requires patience, organization, cleanliness, timeliness, long hours, and the server is usually the one who takes the heat from the customers. As the employer, I can pay the servers what I choose, but the guidelines (in my state) are to pay half minimum wage and the employees report tips. The hourly pay keeps food costs where people can afford to pay them. No one will want to pay the actual cost of getting that meal out to you, and we can’t charge what McDonald’s charges because it won’t pay the bills to keep us open. To get a good worker, the pay has to be substantial, and the business has to be there. The tips make all the difference in the world about what kind of worker is there to serve you. If you like the place, the food, and would like to keep eating out, a tip ensures the worker and the food will be top quality. If it isn’t, then you have a reason to either NOT pay your bill, or to NOT tip your server. If you have ever been to a place to eat and received unacceptable service or bad food, or badly prepared food, you know what I mean. Good workers go where the money is good. Good servers go where the tips are good. There are many people like you who don’t appreciate what they get, always looking for that cheap way to go. A server normally isn’t there to entertain you, but To Insure Proper Service. (TIPS) Those who fear spitting must realize that few have done this, and it was prompted by people who undervalue the job. Restaurant/Bar workers are not servants. They provide a service that you have come for, and they expect proper compensation. That compensation is up to you as the receiver of services, but a percentage of the bill is the accepted value of the services you receive. It is up to you to reduce or increase that percentage based on the worker’s efficiency. By the way, most of my servers declared 100% of their tips. Most of them are on charge, and they declared over and above the charged tips. Before you complain about tipping any worker, try their job. Honestly, a lawyer’s fee, or a doctor’s fee seems quite out of line, but then again, they are not tipped employees, and we have come to realize that some services are priced high, and others are tipped. I would hate to have to pay double each time I go out for food or drink, just to avoid paying a tip. Your reasoning is wrong, but I totally understand your position. The people who usually don’t tip are from another country where it is not done. Please respect our employees. Either tip them for their efficiency (or lack of) or just lay down twice the price of your bill. I think you’ll see that tipping is the cheaper alternative.
I have been in the service industry for 2 years and done everything host/serve/ bar tend/cook/expo/ and manage. Regardless of your thoughts it is NOT an easy job. I have worked my way up to being a salaried manager, this is how I pay for my education. I have seen more people come and go because they cannot handle the industry. My problem with guests, such as yourself, who see no need to tip before you even get in the restaurant are ALWAYS the ones who have complaints. You cannot find the reason to tip your waiter/waitress yet find something to complain about and ALWAYS include complaining about the SERVICE that you see as an unskilled job. You are the guest that I have to come by 5 different times and still are not satisfied until I have bought your meal and then I have to buy you dessert TO GO. Get off your high horse. If you don’t want to be waited on and tip, then DON’T GO OUT TO EAT! The service industry provides a great job experience to help people develop skills that you would never learn without being in this job. It is obvious you have never served a day in your life. I love my job and go above and beyond to make sure that my staff is giving the best service and food possible to feed ungrateful, stuck up people like you.
seriously?! wow… it amazes me how extreme assholes like to advertise the fact by posting dipshit blog posts.. youre just a cheap bastard and no amount of rationalizing changes that… btw…ill hire you for $2.13/hr to shut the fuck up!