It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
There are many possible business models when it comes to compensating waitstaff. You could 1) add an automatic service charge, 2) increase menu prices to increase the basic wage to servers or 3) utilize a tipping system which allows customers to compensate based on the service level they receive. While there is no perfect system, 3) is supposed to incentivize good service by tying rewards directly to it. Unfortunately, any “discretionary” payment system relies on social norms and accepted notions of fairness in order to function. It’s similar to museums that allow you to pay whatever you wish to for entry. These systems run the risk of encouraging free-loaders; enough free-loaders will make the system untenable. I think the author is simply saying that he’s one of these free-loaders – he will pay only if legally compelled to do so. I would assume that he also pays nothing to enter museums without a fixed price tag. As long as he’s in the minority, the system will continue to function. With enough people like him, we will no longer be able to rely on social norms, and will have to switch to a more fixed system of compensating waitstaff.
In reply to Alice
Wouldn’t you prefer a world where servers receive a fair salary for their work just like everyone else?
I should also mention that according to federal law, employers are required to make up a tipped employee’s salary if the tips don’t at least add up to minimum wage. It’s odd that people reserve their frustrations for the customers rather than the restaurant management.
What a bunch of entitled, liberal little kids that aren’t thankful. Make only $2.13? Own up. Get another job. Just because you get tipped is that the only way you work hard? Why don’t you try working in the Emergency room where people are DYING, yet the workers make a little over minimum wage (such as nurses assistants) and are forbidden from receiving tips.
My goodness, talk about liberal elitism.
In reply to Common Sense
Who would wait on you if all the servers and bartenders didn’t SERVE anymore? It is being a SERVANT that you get paid for. And if employers raised their prices and included a service charge, people would less likely go out to eat. Think about it, stop being ignorant and cheap and pay for what you get. Smh
In reply to Brittany
I think if restaurants raised their prices, new low cost restaurants would pop up to fill the gap.
In reply to bhagwad
Bhagwad is absolutely right about raisign prices etc. It is called market capitalism. If a well established restaurant raises its prices, a new restaurant will arise, offering consumers good food for low prices.
Do you really want to know why staff LOVE tips? It essentially protects the restaurant at hand from the competition of such low cost restaurants popping up. They hold a monopoly over the consumer in that the only way we can get good quality food is at a restaurant that demand tips. If anything, I should file anti-trust over such restaurants because there is no true option aside from fast food.
In reply to Common Sense
“Elite liberalism?” Wow, talk about elite prickism. It is not elite to want to feed your fucking family. Quit making excuses for being such a cheap, miserable little asshole. Own up. Go eat fast food. I am an EMT and emergency service people get paid much much better than serving! Servers are usually younger, why do you obviously nut job conservatves seem to want to shit on people you deem “lesser” tha you? Get a life. Tip or don’t go eat, it’s that simple. In fact, I’d call it COMMON SENSE.
In reply to Wow!
Tipping isn’t legally required. For all I care, you could be making $2/hour, living off of Crenshaw in a 100 square foot house with 10 kids. Your problems–not mine. My problem–get my food.
Unless tipping were legally obligatory, you will see my tipping as I please. $2, $4, $10, $100. IF I want to tip, I won’t tip a fixed percentage. It is up to me, not you.
In reply to Common Sense
Wow. Yep. That sounds about right… No compassion or empathy, just “whatever, I got mine so it’s not my problem. ” just remember “there but for the grace of God go I”. Some day you’ll be in a place where you need somebody to do the right thing and help you out. Remember this when they say “whatever, it’s not my problem ” and walk away. “
In reply to Common Sense
my friend works in an ER. She makes about 95K a year.
Not all states require employers to make up the difference if tips don’t cover minimum wage. Not all states will punish employers that do this. I don’t think it’s ok to criticize others for a job you’ve clearly never done. Until you’ve cocktailed a happy hour, I don’t think you will ever understand how needy people are. They blame you if their food is wrong and you have to take it. You have to remember everything everyone tells you and you have to run for six hours or so around the restaurant. If the ketchup is low, you have to refill it even if you don’t have time. You have to memorize the entire menu and every single ingredient in each dish, even if it’s listed on the menu. You have to memorize food prices because people are too lazy to look. If someone is allergic to gluten, you’re expected to be a nutritional expert. If the cooks are in a bad mood, if you have to deal with it. If the cook is taking a longer time than usual because the restaurant is busy, you have to deal with guests. I am not criticizing you, I’m just letting you know that you can’t dismiss someone’s job before you’ve truly experienced it. People treat you like you’re their personal slave. Tips are expected because the $2.13 is for tax purposes and I claim all my tips. Unless you’re willing to pay for higher food prices, you shouldn’t complain. If you don’t want to tip, don’t eat out in the US, Europe doesn’t require you to tip :)
In reply to You Are A Cheap Dirtbag
It’s a federal law. Employers are forced to comply with it: http://www.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm
It also clearly states that if there is a conflict between federal and state laws, the regulation that brings the most benefit to the employee will be the one in force.
So it’s no skin off a waiter’s nose if a customer doesn’t tip. Unless…the waiter thinks they deserve more than minimum wage.
In reply to bhagwad
Look, you don’t have to tip.. it’s a choice not a requirement. But it goes without saying that 90% of people will admit that not doing so shows a lot more about yourself than you might imagine. It shows you have no code or morals, and it shows how you really think about people who do “lower class” jobs. This is the fundamental flaw with capitalism, all parts of the system are required to run… so who decides what’s most “important?” Without the server, there would be no business, just as there would be no business without an owner. You treating your servers like dirt, essentially telling them they’re worth nothing to you, shows the world exactly what kind of person you are. That’s your decision, and that’s fine… But given the virility of this sad excuse for a blog, I would suggest not eating in restaurants in the US… you might just be eating something you don’t want to eat.
In reply to Wow!
You’re just demonizing those who don’t agree with you. According to you, the fact that I like my food without caring about how it gets to me is an ethical crime. And that stuff about “lower class jobs” is all your own. I never said anything of the sort.
In reply to bhagwad
Bhagwad, so your ideal place to dine would be a glorified fast-food restaurant in which there is no service but higher quality food than a McDonald’s? That’s actually a neat idea. If such restaurants existed, you’d get good food at current menu prices and there’d be no need to tip. The problem is that most people who want good food care about service as well; I’d rather pay the additional 15-20% to eat somewhere where someone takes my order, makes recommendations, paces my food so that my entrees don’t come out before my appetizers, and refills my water. If more people were like you, there would be restaurants catering to your needs, and you wouldn’t have to eat at full-service restaurants and then make people mad when you refuse to tip. I think it’s fair to say that you won’t tip but you also are ok w/ no service beyond fast-food service; too bad that option doesn’t really exist.
BY THE WAY, EVERYONE HERE: THE SCUMBAG THAT WROTE THIS BLOG IS A MISERABLE TWIT. “If your guest was calling you names, or perhaps, recited your blog to you, could you still be gracious?” NOT ONLY COULD HE NOT DO THAT, HE WAS NOTIFIED THERE WAS A LINK ON FACEBOOK TO HIS BLOG. I’M GUESSING HE HAS DEALT WITH AN INFLUX OF EMAILS LATELY BECAUSE HE’S NOT BRAVE ENOUGH TO DEFEND HIMSELF. INSTEAD, HE TRIED TO FLAG/REPORT THE POST SO IT COULD BE DELETED. BTW, I’M SHARING THIS WITH AS MANY PEOPLE AS I CAN. I’VE SCREENSHOT YOUR ENTIRE BLOG SO YOU CAN’T ERASE IT FROM THE INTERNET. YOU’RE AN INSUFFERABLE JERK WITH NO COMPASSION WHATSOEVER.
In reply to NASTY
Lol wut? Please go ahead. This post has been up for four years now and if you think I’m taking it down because of haters like you you’re sadly mistaken.
And I believe in freedom of expression. I wouldn’t ask any Facebook post to be taken down. The fact that I’m allowing you to spew your venom on my personal blog should be proof enough of that.
And you think companies comply with all state/federal laws? It’s also the law to not keep a minor past 10 pm due to school, do you think they actually comply? All I’m saying is they companies ignore the law sometimes and the ones that suffer are their workers. Enough places do this to where it’s impossible to fight it.
In reply to You Are A Cheap Dirtbag
So…we have a situation where a company is criminally not complying with the law and not paying waiters the legal wage. And we have customers on the other hand who are not breaking the law.
Who do you get angry with?
I noticed you never addressed anything else I wrote in my first comment. Also, you don’t tip your server until you’ve eaten. If they gave you poor service, poor tips are due. If they gave you decent service, decent tips are due. If they gave you excellent service, give them a nice tip. I’m not saying you should reward bad work, but you should appreciate what they do because someone has to do it. Some student is paying for their loans because educations are not free. If not, go to a fast food restaurant or cook it yourself; that’s why grocery shopping is cheaper. You’re paying for the cooks, bussers, servers, bartenders, everyone that is taking care of you. If you really feel strongly about this, why do you bother going out to eat?
In reply to You Are A Cheap Dirtbag
your employer is REQURIED to follow the law. I am also following the law. TIpping or not tipping as I please.
Do you know what it is called when someone doesn’t follow the law? It is called A CRIME.
Get another job if it is so bad.
In reply to You Are A Cheap Dirtbag
i’m not legally obliged to tip and therefore, not legally obliged to tell the wait staff that I won’t tip. Isn’t it freedom of speech and freedom FROM speech? Are you trying to compromise my constitutional rights?
Guess what? In capitalism, there are rich people, poor people and people in the middle. I cannot gurantee that you will all be wealthy. It is your responsibility, not mine.
Tipping by decade:
70s–spare change
80s–10%
90s–15%
2000s–20%
2010s (NY, LA, SF)–25%
What’s next, 30%? Remember, inflation also takes into account the tipping, so based on inflation, a 10% tip in the 80s was the same as a 10% tip today. So what gives?
The entitlement?
Why don’t you all protest, unionize or find another job? Hurt your employers that way. Make them feel the sting. That was how union jobs did it back in the day, right?
If you feel so strongly about not tipping, why don’t you tell your server at the very beginning? I think that’s fair.
You are an angry, sad lonely little man. That is all.
In reply to J
well i don’t believe in tipping either. I’ve got a big family married and all. I’m not lonely, so I guess not all us non-tippers fall into you category.
Tipping is an entitlement, not so dissimilar to welfare and the such.
Want more money? Get another job. Work for sanitation. They start you around $11-12 an hour no experience.
In reply to Common Sense
$11 an hour? FCUK no, I make 80K a year bartending and that’s just tips! that doesn’t even include the hourly I make. Work smarter, not harder.
Bhagwad makes a point–you have your EMPLOYER who is not following the law. Why are you angry at the very consumers that technically pay the bill, which goes into paying your salaries anyways?
You don’t liek it that I don’t tip? Well that’s not my problem. It really isn’t. Your living conditions? Not my problem. Your wages? Not my problem. As a consumer, I hold the right to be entitlted to NOT TIP because I’m not legally responsible for your wages. That is your EMPLOYERS job, not mine.
BTW, why even have a minimum wage? You have an agreement with your employer, so who am I to tell you what the minimum (or maximum) wage should be?
YOu make $1/hour? You agreed to it. So please, go back and get me my food.
In reply to Common Sense
yeah, having a gorgeous 5 bedroom house with a pool and hot tub in the backyard is such a travesty. *sigh* i think i am going to pour myself a nice glass of wine and go think about how much it sucks to work 40 hours a week and make so much money i barely know what to do with it… *sigh sigh sigh*
Waiters and bartenders expect tips. That is is how the system works, the only other option is to raise prices and better compensate employees.
Luckily most people are NOT like you. Most people tip because they 1. realize this unchangeable fact and 2. they appreciate the service. If you refuse to tip please mention this to your wait staff first. I would never spit in your food, but I am not legally required to serve you as well as my tipping customers. I won’t be rude and frankly I won’t care, but if you think I am going to go out of my way for you, then you would be mistaken. If you refuse to tell your waiter ahead of time because you do not want to receive service that is sub-par to what you are used to, then you are cheating a system based on etiquette. If you want to argue that bad service would cause me to lose my job, I need to reiterate that, thankfully most people are NOT like you. For the most part in my experience, employers agree with their employees, and many will decide that your business is not worth their time and resources.
In reply to LW
I keep hearing this “tell the waiter first” line. When the truth is, it is the waiter or the restaurant who should be clarifying their position from the start. When you go to walmart, you don’t care if the cashier is working for $1 an hour or is sacrificing their newborn to work there. You don’t care. You just go, shop, and pay the bill. When I enter a business, why should I assume that I’m being asked for anything other than to pay the bill?
So here’s my counter proposal that I think is more fair. State your expectations either verbally, or written on the menu. Say something like “As a restaurant, we do not pay our waiters. You are expected to pay them.”
Then we can talk.
In reply to bhagwad
why don’t you just educate yourself on the customs of the country you are in? or is that too difficult for you? here’s an idea- be thankful you can shit in a toilet and not on the floor of your parent’s hut. be thankful your visa was approved. be thankful you haven’t been murdered for being such an ashole.