It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.
1. You act as if you’re my best friend
Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.
Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.
The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…
Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.
Image Credit: cafemama
2. You don’t get paid enough
And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.
What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?
3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?
And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.
Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.
4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra
Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.
5. Money doesn’t grow on trees
I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!
By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.
So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.
Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.
Dickbag
You are a piece of shit. Eat mcdonalds everyday
You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Sounds like ur from the UK. Go back home!
YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO COOK! STAY @ HOME! NEVER SHOW YOUR FACE IN A RESTAURANT EVER!
I Noticed That The Author Of Such Shit Wasn’t Willing To Post A Photo Of Himself! CHICKEN SHIT!
You are an ignorant piece of shit. You don’t even know how much work goes into being a server. Next time you go into a restaurant, the first thing you should do is tell your server that you don’t tip. Then see what kind of service you’ll get.
I totally agree with everything you’ve said, if nobody left tips, it follows that wage pressure would force employers to pay more as some people would quite their jobs as waiters. With fewer waiters to go around (as supposedly you can’t live on a waiter’s pay in the US) employers would be forced to pay more. Employers would have little choice, if they didn’t pay a living wage they wouldn’t be able to find any decent staff. As wages rise, the need to get tips to pay rent would no longer exist. By tipping you simply allow the employers to underpay their staff and the staff to under declare their income.
In reply to Ivan
another good opinion. COuldn’t have said it any better.
In these United States, tips are given for a service rendered. They are given to people who do a job that you can do yourself yet choose not to. You could cut your own hair, but a hair dresser/barber can do it for you and make you look good but you chose to have some one do for you, so a tip is deserved. You could drive home drunk but you hail a cab to get you home without a DWI or killing someone and a tip is deserved. You could mix your own drinks at home but you go to a bar and have the bartender make a nice drink just the way you like it, so a tip is deserved. If you don’t want good service but want good food, go to a pizza place and order your food at a counter and bring it to your own table and pour your own drink and walk out without paying anything but the minimum. I thought your people hated Jews, you sure seem to act like one.
In reply to taxi driver
Hmm…and here I thought that you already paid taxis what’s on the meter since it’s far more than the cost of the fuel. I guess I must have been wrong.
Seriously I hope Mike Tyson fucks you ’til you love him.
Deleting my comments doesn’t make you any less CRAZY FUCKING UGLY and borderline illiterate. and also I hope you realize… Especially with you CRAZY FUCKING UGLY face, you will be easily recognized by many servers who are chomping at the bit to do horrendous, unforgivable by God, should be a crime against humanity, bad things to your food. Please continue to go out to eat. As often as possible. And eventually get e. Coli meningitis and hopefully Live the rest of your days as a vegetable.
In reply to Dustin
I didn’t delete anything. Now adding paranoia to your list of accomplishments?
Actually your rants are spoiling this thread (not easy to do – congratulations!). So if your next comments are not relevant to the post I’m marking your IP as spam. Then good luck commenting on any other wordpress posts on the web.
In reply to bhagwad
And uve seen my face..u can see my face..im messaging from a phone..dumb ass..u r the type of person who needs a old fashion ass whoopin!! U keep referring to the US as this country so im assuming ur not from here..dont like it go back where u came from!
you are a piece of shit sir. there are many social norms we are all expected to follow. if you don’t want to tip then don’t go out.