Before we came to the US, a friend of mine warned us that America was a country of tips. He said that you were more than just expected to tip people who served you – they almost demanded it. Now I’m a guy who hardly ever tips. Sometimes I leave a few coins on the table in restaurants because it’s too much of a headache to put them into my wallet. I had heard that tipping in the US was a customary 15%. Plenty of literature out there makes me aware that this figure has been climbing and now hovers around 20%.
Image Credit: Cali2Okie
But in the spirit of America (The whole when in Rome, do as the Romans do idea), my wife and I decided to tip while in this country. We agreed to pay a dollar or two now and then to the waiters who served us in restaurants. We never pay a percentage of the bill because most of the time that’s too much. We travel a lot and dollars are scarce. We can never spare more than a couple.
Two incidents however have made me realize just how much the tipping culture has been ingrained into people in the US.
On a certain weekend, we decided to eat Korean food. We settled on a particular restaurant and while the food was good, the waitress (who may have been the owner) was somewhat inattentive and rude. We didn’t really mind, and we simply decided not to leave a tip. As we were leaving, the woman in question accosted me and demanded to know why we didn’t leave a tip! I was so startled by this, that I simply blurted out that we never left tips, upon which, she just walked off in a huff. My wife and I had a good laugh over her anger and went on our way.
But the second experience was more frustrating and really pissed me off. We went on a three day cruise to the Bahamas with a company called “Carnival”. Now this was supposed to be an “All expenses” paid trip. Of course, it goes without saying that we chose this particular trip because it was the most affordable.
On the second day of the cruise, the bill arrived. And it was a shocker. Each of us had been charged $10 per day per person for gratuities (namely tips) – totaling a magnificent $60. For tips! I was stunned that the company included tips for the staff in the bill without asking me. Of course, it was probably there in the contract fine print – but who reads all that when on a vacation?
We almost had a heart attack. $60 is no joke and not something we can afford. My wife thought that we wouldn’t be able to remove it, but I decided that it has to be outright illegal to force people to pay tips. So I went to the information desk and asked the woman to kindly remove it. She did so, and gave us envelopes whereby we could put the tips in cash at our discretion. They actually have envelopes for the purpose of tipping – I kid you not.
When I contacted the agent who booked the cruise and told her about this, she asked me why I removed the $60. I replied that I couldn’t afford it. Upon which she said that the staff don’t get paid for the services and that I should have paid the tips to make it up for them! I merely replied that I never asked anyone to clean my room or render any other service to me. If they did it without asking me, that was their choice. I shouldn’t have to pay for something I didn’t ask for.
Moreover, unless I’m mistaken, it was the job of the crew to clean my room. Since when do I pay people for doing their job? One might argue that the crew don’t get paid enough and rely on tips to shore them up. My only answer is why is it my job to make up for their low wages? Sure the service was great, but I wouldn’t pay a single cent for it.
I feel that most people are simply too ashamed or shy to walk up to the counter and demand that the gratuity charge be removed. The cruise company is essentially blackmailing us – pay up, or face the embarrassment. Of course, money is money and I would rather face any embarrassment than pay $60. Those who say that it was unethical not to pay, should realize that if it was so important, then they should have included the extra amount in the cost of the cruise upfront as service charge or whatever. Once I agree to pay a certain amount for a package, I should pay nothing else since it’s already expensive as it is. I pity people who come with their entire families – those guys can end up paying hundreds of dollars in tips.
There are people who say that if I don’t intend to tip, I shouldn’t go out and eat or go on a vacation in the first place. What nonsense! Withholding my money instead of tipping is hardly illegal. If the waiters can’t do without tips let the management include the cost in the price of the food. Don’t expect me to pay anything that I don’t legally have to – especially if I feel obligated to do so.
All in all, the American tipping system is rather odd. Not that tipping is an odd concept. What is unusual, is that people here demand tips rather than expect them – as if they have a right to my money.
What an asshole.
If you can’t afford $60 you cannot afford a vacation. Plain and simple. You are not only cheap, you’re fiscally incompetent.
In reply to Kim
I think I’ve already demonstrated that I can afford to go on a vacation :) . I just don’t like wasting money when I don’t have to. Savvy?
In reply to bhagwad
>$60 is no joke and not something we can afford.
Then you lied. Which is it? $60 dollars is definitely a fucking joke. I’m considered poor in the US and I make that in 2 hours. For gratuity on a 3-day cruise? Come on.
Please wear a sign or something saying you don’t tip. It’s not fair to the people that have to serve you to behave as if they’re going to receive one if they’re not. You’re essentially asking them to do the job for free. Make your intent plain BEFORE you accept the service. Especially if you’re in a country where you claim to understand the custom.
In reply to bhagwad
I like your blog. I think you’re refreshingly logical. I disagree with some things, strongly agree with some posts, and then there are posts like this one (and your original tipping post) where I get the feeling that you could communicate your point in a much clearer (and fair) way and avoid some of the trolling but you choose not to (maybe because it brings you so many visitors to your blog).
Ultimately, we tip in the United States because it’s custom – yes, service workers are paid a low wage and it IS passing the cost onto customers which sucks BUT in europe, the cost of a meal is significantly higher so to me, it’s the same. In fact, in a way, it’s better because you can choose to tip less or more based on service whereas in Europe (and some other countries where tipping isn’t custom), you have to pay the same amount even if your server was incompetent. SO, in that way, I think tipping is very “American”.
Thank you, don’t come again. *insert bad accent*
We lived in Europe for four and a half years with the US Army. We were in the custom of tipping until one night when we went to pay the bill. Our bill was €56 it would have been over €11 or about $20 for an additional tip. We were talking about it with our German friend and she said you have to remember, European service workers actually make a decent wage so tipping is like for them delivering your baby table side.
In America, in Texas in particular, servers earn $2.xx an hour. It’s ridiculous. The restaurants should pay their food service workers better and pass the charge on to the customer but they don’t. We have been out of the tipping habit now and I find myself in a slight dilemma. Do I pay my served additionally for the service. Or do I stop tipping my wait staff all together. I want a better paying job and have had to make time to go to school and get the education to get a better job. Why shouldn’t they?
Thank you for the blog.
In reply to Jennifer
Extremely naive and narrow minded viewpoint. Did you never consider some of them are servers specifically because they need to WORK to pay for school? If you’re too cheap to tip, then you should be buying groceries at Walmart as opposed to eating out. Your logic is just ass backwards. So because servers in Europe make a living wage, that give’s you the excuse to not tip servers here in America? Why do you think eating out in Europe is so much more expensive? Because the servers are paid more. Herp de derp it’s not that difficult of a thought process. Ultimately, even with a 15% tip, your bill in America will STILL likely be lower than your bill in Europe. Whatever school you are making time to go to, it’s not workin’ for ya. Your intelligence seems to be of the caliber in which investing in it would be ill advised.
In reply to Jennifer
I was fine with everything you wrote—right until the end. I have been a server for 18 years now, and while I only make $4.59 an hour and do rely on the tips, I’m perfectly fine with someone who chooses not to. I understand there are people who don’t agree with it or understand it and that’s cool. However, how dare you make such a comment about servers should get an education and imply that we are uneducated and lack skills! Do not judge people you do not know! I chose to do this job so that I could be there to put my children on the school bus every morning instead of some daycare. I chose this so I could be there when they got off the bus, and be there to help them with homework every night. I did this so I still have the time to prepare a home cooked meal instead of crappy takeout. I also do this so I can be the one driving them to baseball practice every night on time, and wrestling, or whatever seasonal activity. But the biggest reason I do what I do is so that I can be with our children while my husband is at work, usually overtime, protecting everyday citizens like you from the criminals, and for the four times he voluntarily went away from us for years to serve this country! So, before you blindly judge someone you don’t know, just think about the fact that you know nothing about a person until you walk a mile in their shoes
Don’t go on a cruise with carnival again. I bet they’ll remember you.
Sub
And youll never be accepted in,OUR COUNTRY, fagdad. I can see why yore bitter. Youre not worth prayers. Youre the reason racism exists. Sorry your mom never loved you. She probably sucks too. She should have swallowed you. You probably,only posted so people would talk to you. Ugly from the inside out.
Well written article. I’m from America and worked what one would consider gratuity jobs. people should be paid properly for their work, instead of relying on a flawed outdated social norm. As a worker I would rather have a stable paycheck that I know will always be able to pay the bills. As a customer I would rather be in an environment where the staff is happy with their job, and are nice to me because I’m another human, not because I’m suppose to make up for an employer that has found a loop hole they use to justify paying employees less than the minimum.
Bravo sir, I’m sure there are others with the same thought but are afraid to say, in fear of being judged as “cheap”…. Its not the customer that’s cheap, its the people employing them.
WOW!!!
Reading through the comments & it strikes me that racism is alive, well & even thriving in the good ol US of A.
Whether you agree with the poster or not, it doesn’t give you the right to racially abuse anyone, no doubt your dragging up has contributed to your poor grasp of human decency & no doubt your parents will be proud of their little tinker as they, more than likely, hold the same views as your vile selves.
Do us all a favour & stop your hooves from hitting the keyboard next time you want to express your rather backwards views.
Idiots.