I loved this book for its accurate description of how parents exert a complete control over their children’s lives. There are so many notable passages in it that I’ve determined to try and start a compilation of all such items in books I read.
At the bottom of this post, there are links to all the nice quotes from the book.
The amazing thing about it is that it shows how a person’s character can affect not just the children, but even their grandchildren. It covers four generations and it’s not until 30% of the book is over that the main protagonist of the book is born! It’s meant to show how little control we really have over our characters and how much depends on the way our parents and their parents before them were brought up. Here, Ernest – the hero – has to suffer due to the character of his father’s father whom he never even knew.
It also shows that oppression by parents is hardly restricted to places like India, where people are always complaining about traditional society. Instead, I now know that it happens all over the world, irrespective of race and gender. It may not always be outright oppression, but it’s none the less more effective for being subtle. The time period of the book is 19th century England, though everything that is written can easily be applied to today’s world.
Butler’s characterization of certain people and his incisive analysis of how people think can make us cringe if we recognize certain thought patterns as our own. Indeed, no one is free from them and the author himself admits that by putting these words on paper, he’s revealing more about himself than he could ever do if he were to make an outright confession.
And yet, he takes a forgiving view of human follies. We mustn’t be too hard on ourselves. We hardly have much choice in being the way we are, and if we can forgive ourselves, we can do the same for others. He pokes fun at religion and since the father of the hero is a clergyman, we get an excellent idea of how the society and the Church coexisted in those times.
There’s very little “fluff” here. While some may find a few of the passages where the author starts an exposition on a facet of life tedious, I never found this to be the case. His analyses are the highlights of the book and in more than one case, I’ve made a note of the passages and saved them for later reference.
It’s an absolute “must read” for those who have an interest in parental upbringing. I can assure you that it’s well worth your time.
Quotes from the book
Rating: 5
Date:.
Read one of the quotes – guess which one :) And didn’t find anything unexpected. Of course children were bullied, owned and sold everywhere, we are more humane today. I could never understand what people mean by too much love spoils a child… what ‘spoils’ is confused, disinterested parenting.
David Copperfield was upsetting for all the cruelties and a total lack of sensitivity towards, or respect for children. And Roald Dahl – is one of my favorites. He wrote against violence and abuse in British schools.
In reply to Indian Homemaker
I’m so glad we live in times when there are examples of children breaking away all the time – at least then people can know it’s at least possible and not unthinkable…
I’ll be reading this book thanks to your excellent review.
The way of ALL flesh indeed.