I’m sitting here getting bored. True, I have stuff to do like play darts, read “A Town like Alice” and browse the net, but none of it really feels worth doing. For the past three weeks or so, Anupa’s been busy buying a car for us, running around, and leaving me to my own devices. Even though it’s what I do all day, I always look forward to having her with me in the evenings for company – even if we just sit and watch something.
It’s Halloween season and I’ve been gorging myself on horror movies. But it’s over now and I never really liked TV anyway. Why is life so damn boring? I know what you’re thinking…spoiled p***k doesn’t know how hard the rest of us work and can’t appreciate his leisure. There’s truth in that I admit, but even you guys who break your back working all day must know what I mean. How many of us have jobs we find meaningful and are just rearing to go in the morning? I’ve been through the work routine more than I care to recollect and I know what it’s like. Same old crap every day. Cups of coffee and lunch to break the ennui. Either that, or frantic work which has to get done, just because it has to get done. No bigger meaning. Damn reality sucks!
No wonder I like to lose myself in fantasy where stuff matters! There are great quests, the fate of world hanging in the balance and that sort of thing. Nobility, real danger, ancient secrets, arcane powers and what not. Online fantasy role playing games like Diablo and WoW can drag us away from boring reality. No wonder they’re so wildly addictive. And before you turn your nose up at me, all you (mostly women here) reading romance novels like “Twilight” are no better I tell you! Books like “Pride and Prejudice” with its hunky hero being a woman’s wet dream come true. You guys want to escape from reality as much as I do :D
This is different from confronting meaninglessness in the universe. I’ve got that one covered already. My gripe is to do with the nature of the world itself. I’m being greedy I know – life itself is a miracle which is why I want to save it, but one can’t help getting dragged down into mundane details and forgetting the bigger picture. We’re too deep into it to maintain that sort of perspective for long.
There are a few activities that still give me that sense of wonder and adventure. Astronomy is one of them. But with light pollution being what it is, I can’t indulge in it the way I want to without living in some village. Gardening is another, but I need to settle down first. The idea of growing flowers doesn’t appeal to me.
This might actually be one of those cases where having children has its uses. Parents at least feel their life is meaningful. I’m not saying I’d trade my life for theirs and inherit all the responsibilities, but it’s just a thought. Kids are a great thing for those who have it in their DNA to be parents. But perhaps even parents get bogged down in the boring world of reality.
Few things beat a really good book and luckily, there’s no shortage of them. Till I find some other activity that really pushes my buttons, it’s as good an escape as any I guess.
Bhagwad,
I’m not really into dispensing advice about what to do with your time and money but since you have back-to-back posts here stating you have reasonable spare of both….. you could consider social work to fill your time gaps and it would most likely be very fulfilling. In the course of such work if you find deserving people or causes you could probably donate financially as well.
thx,
Jai
PS: who is the “hunky hero” women dream abt in P&P? Darcy? really.. or that other chap Williams or Collins or something.
In reply to Jai_C
Good idea Jai. Social work certainly seems a good way out. Proximity to place of living and affinity for the cause are of course two of the most important considerations. No harm in looking out. One might get lucky!
The hero is of course, Darcy. I saw him in the movie and it was clearly what women want :)
That’s why I fill my time playing video games, watching anime, reading manga, and reading. And if I have some spare time I may volunteer somewhere. Part of me is afraid of working again, because I feel I’ll be bogged down with the same boring routine.
In reply to RenKiss
I hear you. But there’s always a niggling thought at the back of my mind that I’m escaping from reality and while escape isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I don’t know if it’s good for us to do it all the time.
In reply to bhagwad
that is true. I agree with sir. When we try to divert our mind, there is always a voice keep on saying , ” heyi, you have to do it and u r just passing your time .”
I Sometimes it happens when we are too busy or too free. But it happens often .
Hehe! Did you realize, this came out as ‘too’ honest: “where having children has its uses”? ;)
There’s one really good blog you might like: http://Harmanjit.blogspot.com/
But apart from that I’ve no suggestions. For those who’ve realized & honestly acknowledged the reality of no ‘meaning’/’purpose’ to existence, life never remains the same. This feeling always stays at the back of ones mind. Did, by any chance, your realization of this meaninglessness correspond in time with lack of ambition and choosing a relatively leisurely life for yourself (which is not at all with a negative connotation coming from person like me)?
Though, what you write here is something I think of regularly, I’ve somehow never blogged about it.
Here are links to two only slightly related posts:
1. http://ketpan.wordpress.com/2009/03/01/a-journey-called-life/ [a childish take on life – written over four years back, but something which hasn’t changed in this much time. I remember my friend who I’d made it read (lot more hardworking than myself) had got very agitated by the ‘radical’ ideas in it. :) ]
2. http://ketpan.wordpress.com/2010/07/24/counterintuitive-ideas-on-career-choice/ [Though, the title contains the word ‘advice’, I’m looking forward to feedback on my ideas there from people like you, as I’ve never lived outside of India.]
And BTW, that’s very interesting-looking cat. It lives with you?
In reply to Ketan
Interesting kind of blog Ketan. Thanks for the reference! Both of your posts are thoughtful as usual…nice work :)
I feel the whole feeling of meaninglessness comes to the fore only when you have free time. Sometimes when you’re just too busy to think, you know it at a subconscious level but deep introspection not only requires time, it also requires a certain frame of mind…which I feel can only come in leisure.
The cat isn’t mine – Got it from a free photo website :)
Hi Bhagwad,
Stumbled across your blog (via Anupa’s profile) and really liked it. My husband and I had been discussing about exactly the same topic, couple of days back and it’s nice to know that there are more people thinking on the same lines. Just wanted to appreciate the write-up. Enjoyed reading it :)
In reply to Suchithra
Thanks for dropping in Suchithra :)
Most people have kids at exactly this time and several for this reason – to see what else is there out there?! :-D
You have a nice book – I loved A Town Like Alice. And you have lovely libraries a roll away. For me (kids don’t exist to give meaning to my life, they exist to make meaning of theirs!), the social sector was the saviour. Could not manage another day in the corporate world, despite having some lovely colleagues. The last company I worked at was phenomenal too, it got old all the same. Volunteer or mentor. It will change your life.
The car will help with travel which is real fun in the US.
In reply to Sangitha
Someone else had mentioned volunteer work too. I can imagine why it can seem fulfilling. Looks like I may have to learn how to drive though since the closest volunteer opportunities I found online were around 5 miles away.
Meaning to me is the football season. It is one of the few things that I look forward to! Yesterday my favorite team, Philadelphia Eagles beat the Indianapolis Colts. So I am in heaven right now … until next Sunday!
liked the post and comments following it. Very few people are as lucky as you are;l to be working from home with no one to control you. freedom from control is a treasured state to be in.being in a state of gratitude for every little thing ( and this feeling is only truly there when you see what you have and view it against a time when you didnt have it ) settles the mind in a deeper dimension. it is very quiet, still and blissful there …..
a vacant mind that is not grounded in this dimension will be boring
OK but at the end of the thing don’t u agree thenext meals isgoungto to cost u and someone has to do the ot so any activity taken is to earn levelihood and ifu cando it at your terms thenLords Mercy is there
Recently I’ve felt like that. Nothing seems to compare to the anime, video games, etc. that I indulge in. I wish the world could be more like fantasy, and not as boring or ugly. I think part of it has to do with the cultures that dominate the world. Most of the developed world is relatively the same thing you’ll see everywhere. The same shaped houses, the same roads, clothes, technology, and people. You’ll only ever see variations of these same exact things everywhere. Whereas in fiction, there tends to be more variety with races and cultures. Like in Xenoblade for example. There are races and cultures that are dramatically variant, one of them has technology far beyond anything anyone in the world has ever witnessed. Another looks very different from all other races; and so on and so forth.
I think if the developed world wasn’t so homogenous, that alone would make it a more interesting place.
In reply to Anonymous
I agree. I too find the virtual world far more interesting :)
bhagwad, Great blog post. I was bored myself and Googled and that is how I found your blog.
U say you don’t believe in a God. Are you Buddhist?? I am from Sri Lanka and Buddhist.
Are you married??? I think if you get married it might solve your problem to some extent.
I have been thinking about this also for some time. At the end the ONLY thing that I came up with, i.e. that gives meaning to our lives is “CHILDREN”. I can’t think of anything else. I am of course not even married and have no kids.
What I would love to here from is from people who have kids. Do they also feel bored even though they have kids??? Technically, the way I see it is, even kids will be boring after some time (maybe a few years) cos human nature is that. We have to get bored with anything we do. I can’t think of anyting that might be continously interesting.
I read somewhere that even sex pleasure and everything that goes with it diminishes after 3 years. It’s not surprising I think. You have sex with someone for 3, 4 years, then you are I suppose bound to get bored.
In reply to Lahiru de Silva
I’ve been married for five years now :). We’ve decided not to have kids though.
Also, I’m an atheist, so there’s no solace from a god either!
In reply to bhagwad
But kids are the ONLY thing that will give you some sort of meaning and purpose and also keep you busy. I find this very strange.
In reply to Lahiru de Silva
I find other stuff to keep me busy :) . And kids only give the illusion of meaning. They’re no more or no less meaningful than anything else one can do in life.
In reply to bhagwad
Have you tried looking into Buddhism?? What is your religions belief? Were you born a Hindu and now you are an aethist? How about giving Buddhism a shot. It is a the religion for the agnostics and aethists?
In reply to Lahiru de Silva
I can’t deceive myself just so that I can be happy. There IS no ultimate purpose in life, so no religion including Buddhism which believes in reincarnation can be suitable. I was born to a Christian father and a Parsi mother who converted to Christianity.
In reply to bhagwad
bhagwad, how can say that without reading about Buddhism?? According to Buddhism, just like what you say, life does not have a purpose. So Purpose is to stop birth, which will end the cycle of birth and rebirth. Why don’t you read about Theravada Buddhism first and then give you opinion.
I can point you on some good resources.
In reply to Lahiru de Silva
Ah, but Buddhism doesn’t give proof of reincarnation which I believe is an illogical concept. It just states it as a fact :)
In reply to bhagwad
Check these out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reincarnation_research
In reply to bhagwad
Another one: http://www.reversespins.com/proofofreincarnation.html
In reply to bhagwad
In fact, reincarnation is the ONLY religious concept that can be seen with your very own eyes. There re dozens of cases in our country alone. Childen recalling their past lives. When they go to the house they lived in their privous life, everything is the same. How can u explain that????
In reply to Lahiru de Silva
Reincarnation is considered to be a pseudoscience and research studying various cases end up finding some flaw or the other.
There is after all, nothing beyond the physical world. Once the brain dies, the memory cells decay, entropy takes its course and everything ends.
So the “soul” is a mythical construct. It doesn’t exist.
In the Wikipedia link you sent me for example, none of the evidence is conclusive. For something as big as reincarnation to be proved, we’re going to need more – MUCH more.
In reply to Lahiru de Silva
If there is NOTHING beyond this world there were is justice for evil people? So Hitler kills millions of people and commits suiside. So many murderers are not found. They lead quite good lives. So where is the justice? If you say there is NO God and No reincarnation, then anybody can do anything and get away with it???
In reply to Lahiru de Silva
Yep, pretty much. Whatever evil Hitler did, he faced the consequences when he was alive. He was an unhappy man, he was driven insane, his body failed him and he committed suicide. That is the only punishment he will ever receive.
But generally people are good not because they’re afraid of being bad, but because it feels nice to be good. Take me for example – I don’t feel like hurting or killing people. I generally like others. So my motivation is not fear, but a kind of love.