Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.
Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra
The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?
Waiters. Ding ding!
See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.
Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!
Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!
Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.
But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.
And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.
I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.
Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically
Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.
As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.
$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.
You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.
Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students
Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.
Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.
It is completely within your right to not tip. However, if you already know that you are not going to tip the waiter before service begins, you should have the courage to say so in advance of service. Here’s why:
Tipping servers is so deeply ingrained into our social construct, that expecting it is not the fault of servers. You can argue the legitimacy of the custom, and continue to write blogs about why it’s antiquated; but until the social custom ends, IT IS EXPECTED, fair or not. Simply by living in America, and walking into a restaurant, there is an unspoken social contract you are making with the community to adhere to the status quo. The same way it is not TECHNICALLY illegal to walk down the street in your boxers, but if the community looks at you sideways for doing so, it isn’t the fault of the community. We (rightfully so) EXPECT you to wear pants before you walk outside.
By intentionally bucking against the social construct of tipping, and choosing to not tip before you are being served, and not saying so up front, you are essentially agreeing to a level of service you have no intention of paying for.
Honestly, I would go as far as to say that deciding not to tip beforehand, and not saying so upfront, is cowardly. If you truly believe in your cause as much as you claim, you shouldn’t have a problem with telling servers up front, and dealing with the consequences of your actions. This really is more a question of personal morality and self-righteousness, and less about the technical “right” to not tip.
Forgive me if these points have already been raised, but just in case they haven’t, here goes:
You may not *like* the American system of tipping food servers, but it *is* a system and as such there are many norms, standards, and assumptions within it. When you eat at a restaurant where you are expected to tip your server(s), the tip is NOT “extra;” if you fail to live up to what is expected of you as a patron of the restaurant, this is a violation of a social contract and a morally and ethically shitty thing to do.
Here’s a little intro to the behind-the-scenes intricacies of the system of American tipping:
If I work a server shift, I am required by the restaurant I work at (and it is a lawful request) to share a percentage of my tips with the non-tipped support staff (such as bussers, hosts, etc.) and often a so-called “tip out” to the bartender if there is one. Every restaurant does this differently but I’ve never worked in any restaurant where the servers were not required to share a percentage of their tips with non-servers. Sometimes the tip-out is based on the amount of tips earned in a shift, and sometimes it is based on a percentage of the servers’ sales.
What this means is that when a customer leaves no tip, he or she is not only stiffing the server, he or she is also stiffing the support staff – the people who help to make the whole dining experience as smooth and pleasant as possible, though you may not even realize it. If the tip-out is based on tips, that’s bad enough, but when it is based on a percentage of sales, under-tipping or leaving no tip means that I, your server, effectively have to PAY FOR THE “PLEASURE” OF SERVING YOU. That’s right. If your filet mignon dinner adds $35 to my total sales for the night, I must tip out my support staff based a percentage of a sale on which I made less or none of what it is *assumed* I made in tips on that sale. Do you think it is right or fair that I should pay to serve you?
Another way in which tipping servers is a system is the fact that I am required by law to report all tips to the IRS, and they base their estimate of what I owe in taxes on the assumption that I make a certain percentage of tips on my sales. (Last I checked it was 13%, but that is supposed to be AFTER tip-out.) Back in the day when the majority of Americans paid restaurant bills with cash, and left cash tips, it was easy for servers to under-report their tips, but nowadays the vast majority of restaurant tabs are paid with credit cards so there’s a paper trail and we can’t “fudge” those numbers. I know that is sort of a complicated thing to explain to people outside the industry, but the bottom line is that the IRS operates under the assumption that servers are being tipped, and calculate the taxes we owe based on this assumption, whether or not you leave a tip. So if you don’t tip, I am still being taxed as though you did. Not cool.
I can appreciate that someone who comes from a different culture can’t be expected to know all of the intricacies of such an admittedly weird system, and perhaps you as an individual *really don’t* place any value on the work a server or a restaurant staff does (as seems to be the case, based on the belittling language you use in your posts). Fine. But I have lived and traveled abroad extensively, and as a matter of principle when I am in another country I do my best to inform myself and adapt to the SYSTEMS that country has in place – even if I may disagree with them. I would certainly never consider under- or *not* paying a person for the work they did simply because I disagreed with the rules and norms of their country. I would probably try to find a way to effect change within the system if I was truly disturbed by it, or if it is an annoyance I just go along with it and might grumble here and there. But I don’t simply refuse to do what is culturally and systematically assumed of me because that would be super shitty!
You are welcome to grumble about tipping all you like on your blog or elsewhere, and you are certainly welcome to lobby for changing the system of compensation for tipped employees in America. Go for it. But by simply *not tipping* or under-tipping, you are breaking a social contract that is based on a system that has existed for a long time, and in so doing, you are hurting people who are just trying to make a living. That does not make you righteous at all. There is no ethical or philosophical justification for what you are doing. It is dishonest because it is a violation of standards and norms of which you are aware but refuse to conform to merely because you are cheap. Make no mistake about this: under- or not tipping for decent service in a restaurant is a form of theft (morally and psychically, if not legally) and despite your whining to the contrary, this *IS* your problem, and it’s high time you stopped sounding off like a spoiled child on this topic. Tip your servers, and tip them well. Uphold your end of the social contract.
I’m not even going to try to argue your points. You are the worst kind of person. Fuck you. Stay home. That is all.
In reply to Chris
*applause*
#1. You’re ignorant.
#2. Just like you work hard for the money you earn, SO DO WE. We are the first people you look at when something is wrong with your meal, there for, we get the bullshit.
#3. The idea is products and services. If you are providing a SERVICE, you get PAID for that service. You would want to be paid for your service. So do we.
#4. Regardless of ANYTHING, it IS America, you’re in fucking America, and there is CERTAIN ETIQUETTE YOU FOLLOW.
#5. It’s NOT our fault we don’t get paid enough either. Trust me, we complain to our employees about our lousy $2.13 an hour all the time.
#6. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO TIP, TAKE YOUR ASS TO A BUFFET OR TO MCDONALDS!
Yes! I agree with you. Don’t listen to these people.
The custom of tipping is totally pathetic.
Tipping is semi optional, the system is set up like this, if you get average to slightly above average you should give 15%, the more below average you get the less the tip and the better you get the higher the tip. Someone can technically get no tip and you not be in the wrong. The system is set up this way to encourage better customer service. You are entering a society and you do not exist on a island, if a server does a good job for you and you don’t tip it will impact their future customers. What I don’t think you get is most of these servers are being paid well below minimum wage and they get up to it by providing better service and increasing their tips. Its actually more free then any other system, because you the customer decide how much the service was actually worth, and 99 out of a 100 times its worth something, but no im sure you would much prefer the employer telling you how much you should pay for good or bad service right? Thats what you want with it built into the check.
TIPPING is what you pay for the SERVICE you receive — you obviously are interested in the service of someone “just picking up the food and bringing it to you,” otherwise you’d cook your own damn food and serve yourself. Or you could always pay someone to come in and cook for you in your home, but I guarantee it’ll cost you more in the end than the 15% you pay for tip by going out to eat.
So, if you don’t want to pay for the service you receive, then please stay home and service yourself, you antiestablishmentarian prick.
I HATE IT when restaurant add gratutity to your check. I agree if you aren’t payng your employees enough, don’t add it to my check… BUT, I have NO problem slipping the waiter/waitress a couple extra bucks so I don’t have to hunt them down. You are tipping for the service. And if you don’t tip than expect “conveyer belt” type service. Drop the food and go. Oh, did you need extra napkins? Or a refill on your water? Too bad, those they don’t charge for so use your clothes or buy a soda. Seriously. Your points are slightly invalid. I will go to better stores to pay more for better product, and I will tip ACCRDINGLY by the service I received. I have left penny’s but I always let the server know, I didn’t forget the tip, they had forgotten the service. I live in Las Vegas and tipping is kind of how this city works. If you don’t like good service then don’t tip. Just don’t expect anything but the bare minimum either.
I don’t tip, I’m not responsible for the employee being underpaid. If employees have to rely on tips, they should demand better pay from their employer or find work elsewhere. Why settle for less when you can go for better?
It really is amazing the lengths you are going to try and justify being an asshole.