Why Your Reasons for Demanding a Tip are Wrong

Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.

Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra

The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?

Waiters. Ding ding!

See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.

Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!

Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!

Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.

But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.

And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.

I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.

Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically

Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.

As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.

$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.

You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.

Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students

Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.

Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.

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868 thoughts on “Why Your Reasons for Demanding a Tip are Wrong”

  1. I agree with this article 100%. It’s not my fault YOUR company isn’t paying you enough, or that YOUR boss is paying you enough. I don’t ask people for tips at my job, do you know why? Because I’m already getting paid an hourly wage for doing my job. I’m not going to go and ask for more money from someone who isn’t responsible. If you’re not getting paid enough, complain to your boss, complain to the company, find a higher paying job, whatever, don’t take it up with me though. I paid the amount for the food that keeps the place in business, that in turn pays your salary. I’m ALREADY paying you something by being a customer, don’t go asking for more. I’ll tip if the service is worth it, if it isn’t worth it, than try harder. You servers seem to complain about how you’re on your feet for 12 hours a day. There are MANY jobs where you stand for that long, I once worked minimum wage in a cardboard factory, and occasionally I would work a double shift, I would be “on my feet” for 16 hours. I never once went around to companies (who were buying our cardboard) doorsteps asking for a tip for my hard work. Why? Not only would they laugh in my face, but I knew it wasn’t their responsiblitlity, it was the company that I worked for that was responsible, it was my bosses, it was also my own.
    Stop demanding tips and take some responsiblility for your own actions and decisions. If you’re in a tough spot, get yourself out of it, everyone else has to. You are not special, you are a human, you are of the working class just like the rest of us. This is the real world, and while many people may be the tipping kind, there are many others who aren’t. Be thankful there are so many tippers out there, and be thankful you’re in a country where tipping is expected. And also, if you expect a tip because you’re “trying to make it through college” or “make it as a struggling mother”, try putting away your fxxking $500 smartphone!!! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people complaining about money and then they spend $500 on a phone and then $100 a month for the plan? This country is so fxxked up it’s not even funny…

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    • In reply to Randall

      Damn right and it’s fcking annoying to hear people whine about struggling after spending their check on $500- $1000 smartphones so they can post pictures of themselves on instagram.

      Reply

  2. My opinion is similar to yours. I don’t like tipping, but when I do, it reflects the amount I think the servers deserve. In some cases I don’t tip at all for terrible service (and food, if I’m feeling really foul).

    Here’s where I draw my criticisms though. Your article slightly missed the mark, in that you instigated the right emotions in us for the wrong cause. Mandatory tipping is pretty bad, and low server wage is abhorrent. HOWEVER, the tone of your article belittled the servers who ARE honest about their work and DON’T place priority on their tips, even if you didn’t mean to. Make sure you make that line clear in the future – it helps people arguing in favour of tips to understand what they SHOULDN’T be arguing about, and it helps YOU understand more about what you AREN’T arguing about.

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  3. the % based system of tipping really confuse me. For example, I dine with my wife and we order 2 burgers for $10 each. With 20% tips, this would be $4. But if I order 2 steaks at $20 each, now the tips would be $8. Did he server do something different to deserve the double amount? Whoever came up with this idea is a complete idiot. I would rather tip at my own discretion. It probably would be a better idea to base the tip on a per person basis, no matter the cost of the ticket.

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    • In reply to ghpham

      What people don’t always know is that those servers aren’t making all of the tips that are given to them. About 6 percent of their total ring out is added on at the end of the night as a house tip that is shared with kitchen and support staff. So if you tip 1 dollar on a hundred dollar bill they are paying 5 dollars out of pocket to serve you. Is it right? No, but its how the north american system works which is often why servers seem upset if they are ousted on a tip

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  4. Lol!

    1st to all the disgruntled credulous peons it’s the Internet! Much like life: if. You were that bothered by his opinion and post you should just keep it moving why get so emotionally charged trying to invalidate another’s opinion it’s their opinion to have. Mind your business

    2nd I don’t need to work in a restaurant setting to know simple logic! I would never EXPECT a tip! People don’t owe me that, nor should I feel some type of way because someone didn’t tip me! If you were more intelligent you’d see how silly you sound.

    If I were a waiter I would base my income on my FIXED wages! Tips are not guaranteed nor should it affect how I do my job! The FAKE smiles and extra chatter shut up and just be effective at doing what you are paid to do, and if you don’t like your job………find another!

    Take say a call center job where you earn X amount of dollars. Then you earn a percentage of sales for product Y, so you mean to tell me your gonna base your income on another’s decision and not your FIXED income o_O

    If serving tables paid an hourly rate that wasn’t sufficient then I wouldn’t work the job or I’d be finding a better job asap, I don’t care that you are a single mother or college student those are choices we all make! Hell i’m single and we all go through life it can happen to any of us at anytime! I’m not saying your right or he is wrong. I am saying to EXPECT a tip or have the audacity to treat me different because I didn’t tip!

    Again just a game! I hate fake people. Ol chik was all smiles and overly nice, when it came time to sign her receipt she had an attitude i’m presuming from my lack of “tip” that’s silly to me

    It’s just dumb, no other way to put it – any tip job for that matter if you not making a decent hourly FIXED wage don’t blame the customer!!!! Get a backbone WAKE UP YOUVE BEEN SLEEPING

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    • In reply to Je Be

      I advise you to read my comment, it will help you understand the logic behind it all. It’s actually incredibly simple to understand, but you seem to have a few things misplaced in your logic. I promise it will help you understand. You don’t have to feel bad about not tipping, you are choosing to feel bad. Which means you know that you are wrong. You say you don’t care that the waitress is your friend or not, but once you realize she is not (because you didn’t tip) all of a sudden you are upset. Seems a bit backwards, but again, it’s because you have things wrong. I’ll help with that, it’s in my comment below.

      P.S. You are most welcome.

      Reply

  5. The wages of servers is not the owner of the establishments fault. Servers are paid a wage of 2.13$ hourly because state governments set it at that wage because the know that servers live off of tips. Being a manager of a restaurant, and my family owns two successful restaurants, I feel that I am some what of an expert on the act of tipping and the wages servers earn. What most, or all, customers that do not top don’t realize is that when you don’t tip, the server is literally paying for you to eat at the restaurant. At the end of every shift all the servers look at their total sales for the shift. They then tip out the other workers of the restaurant, bus boys, bartenders, expos, etc… So to make that clear, at the end of the night servers give a portion of their tips to their coworkers. If you sit at a table and eat a meal and don’t tip, the amount the server has to tip his or her other coworkers is higher than the money he made by giving you food without a tip. If you’re there for an hour than the server has made 2.13$ from your table, and will likely have to tip out his other coworkers 5$ each. At least. So you’re not only literally taking money out of their pockets by not tipping, you’re also making it extremely hard for normal people, college students, and struggling parents to pay for the basic needs that all of us have. Until you have worked as a server or in the service industry, please don’t try and act like not tipping your server is in any way justified.

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    • In reply to Luther Currin

      Awwww, a restaurant owner is here to give us a guilt trip how not tipping is bad. How cute.

      Hey, if you are so concerned why don’t you cover this cost? Why don’t you say – my employees here are paid a decent salary and put a sign that no tipping is expected?

      Why? I know why. Means more money out of your pocket. And why out of your pocket when it can go out the customers’ pockets, right? Makes perfect sense. For you, that is. But please don’t make these heart breaking stories because I am about to puke.

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  6. The price of food would go UP and the level of service would go DOWN if servers didn’t receive tips. End of story. What you are doing by participating in the system but not playing by the rules is taking money from peoples’ pockets..literally. The server has to pay between 2 and 5 percent of their total sales to other employees -such as bussers, bartenders, etc- at the end of his or her shift. Spend 100 dollars and don’t leave any tip and you just took 5 dollars from someone’s pocket. If The establishment serving food paid every server min wage and tips were not expected then they would have to raise the cost of food to compensate. At every restaurant I’ve ever worked the staff is composed of at least two thirds servers. You want to more than triple what is paid to more than 50 percent of the employees and you dont think food prices would increase? As you mentioned, being a server is a low skilled job. That doesn’t mean it’s a no skill job, and the difference that a good server makes compared to a new or bad one cant be overstated. A good server can keep 4,5, 6 sometimes more tables happy whIle a bad one can’t keep 2 happy. Most servers work hard. The entire shift they give it 100 percent. Why? Because if they don’t then they don’t make money. How many other low wage low skill jobs can you honestly say that the vast majority of people employeed in that job give it their all from start to finish? None that i can think of that dont involve tips. If you want to pay all servers min wage then you will end up paying more money for your food and get the same level of service you get at Walmart, the corner store, or McDonalds. When was the last time you went to walmart and had someone who was happy to help you and go to the extra mile to make sure everything was ok? Most of the time when i ask a question on how to find something i feel lucky to get a vague point off into the distance while the person continues to stock his shelf or walk to his destination. You ever get a messed up order from fast food? I’m sure when you took it back and told them about the cold fries they greeted you warmly, apologized sincerely and fixed it as quickly as possible. Maybe its only me that they roll their eyes at and then give another batch of the same old fries to.
    Pay all servers the same and why would they spend any time at all with difficult or rude tables? Ignore them and focus on the pleasant ones, not like it would matter to the server. Why would anyone care if your drink is empty for ten minutes? They wouldnt get any special bonus for promptly refilling it versus doing so at their leisure.
    If servers made the same money for bad, mediocre, or great service why go the extra mile? After all it wouldn’t pay anything to do so.
    I’l agree with you that most servers DO make more than min wage…but why does that upset you so much? I promise you if servers put as much effort and thought into their job as most min wage employees do, they wouldn’t earn min wage with the current tipping system in place.

    Enjoy knowing that 90 percent of servers are doing their absolute best for you so that your can thank them by adding to their tipout amount but not increasing their tips.

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  7. And your so called math is laughable in your post. http://smallbusiness.chron.com/common-food-labor-cost-percentages-14700.html
    Average labor cost should be 35 percent for table restaurants in order to be profitable. If If the Chiles in your example made 20k a week then they are paying 1000 dollars in tipouts to employees. Let’s say theyes have seven employees making 10 per hr to cook, bus, do dishes, etc. If open ten hours a day that’s 700 + 240 per day I’m labor…..or 6600 per week. Right around the 30percent range needed to remain proftable. Now you propose eliminating 1000 dollars from the tipout income stream and adding 600 plus per day in labor. That’s 5200 a week in increased labor costs….or nearly double what they were paying. To remain profitable they would need an additional 10k to 15k per week. A 50 to 75 percent price increase….that’s quite a bit of extra money to pay for junk service.

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  8. I am a server; however, I am going to choose not to be angered by this article. Instead, I simply feel sorry for you. You have managed to come across as one of the most unpleasant people I have ever heard of. Not only do I feel sorry for you, but I also feel sorry for the many people that have had to wait on you. This is not because of the fact that you do not always leave a tip at all. It is purely due to how horrible your lack of personality is to other human beings. Part of the reason I love being a server is because of the people. I am paid $3.00 an hour in a small family owned business and my shift only lasts for about 4-5 hours. I’m not going into any math or boring details, but obviously I do not make as much as Bill Gates does in that short amount of time. That should also make it obvious that the reason I am a waitress is not just for the tips or the salary. It is also for the enjoyment I receive out of serving other people, putting a smile on their face, and them putting a smile on mine. If it wasn’t for the interaction you get with most customers, I don’t think anyone would be a server. Am I just some stranger bringing your food with a “fake” smile and using “fake” mannerisms? Yes, I am. However, it’s called being polite? I don’t know if you’ve interacted with strangers in a public work setting like… Ever…. But it’s kind of just what you do? When I go to anywhere that deals with the public rather it be the bank, somewhere out to eat, or the grocery store, I most certainly expect the stranger that is employed there to greet me with a smile and to be pleasant. I don’t expect this because it is in their job description. I expect this because that is just something that should be human nature for anyone that has a decent personality and wants to represent them self in a nice way to people that they come across. Some servers can become annoying by bothering you too much. However, being polite and friendly along with making sure your dining experience is going well shouldn’t really be a problem? I am so confused how it is with you. If you went to a restaurant where the server was very cut and dry and simply said “what do you want” and then never spoke a word to you again, I truly do not understand how that would make your dining experience enjoyable unless you hate people and hate having to communicate with other human beings for a whole thirty seconds of your life? With that being said, it is entirely true that it is an expectation of the server to be over the top friendly by customers. If people treated the customers the way you wish they did then people would think they had just received bad service in most scenarios. Rather you want to admit it or not, the waiter is part of the dining experience in more ways than you are giving credit for. I don’t care that it isn’t included in the price on the menu, it just is apart of it and always will be. Even if wages are increased to minimum wage and no tip truly becomes necessary, the friendliness of the waiter will still be an expectation because all people want to be treated like they matter. Also, it reflects the business and is what is apart of why people will keep coming back. If you don’t want to interact with other people while eating your food then perhaps you should only dine inside of a Burger King or Taco Bell where you will be left alone. I’m not sure what your job is that makes you so much more intelligent and better than a server, but I am sure of the fact that servers have way better people skills than you do. I’m not going to be a server for too much longer since I am almost finished with school, but, until then, I am going to always act like a kind person to other people. While doing so, yes, I will hope I receive a tip because that is how I make my money and there is nothing I can do about that. If you are a regular that doesn’t leave a tip I would NEVER spit in your food or be rude to you. However, no, I’m not going to go out of my way to answer to every single one of your demands for service from me either as quickly as I can because I will be getting absolutely nothing in return from you like you are getting in return from me. It goes both ways. I will be grateful for your tip as long as you are grateful for my service to you. Obviously, you are very ungrateful. Long explanation short, you are a very cheap, selfish, and unpleasant lady.

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    • In reply to Smak

      What a great reply. If you don’t tip, expect $2.35/hr service. I would never spit in someone’s food, that’s abhorrent. But I will give you the service that you, as the 1/3 – 1/7 of my tables that I can assume is paying me $2.35/hr deserves… you can read that as “literally the slowest, most minimal effort ever produced by a human being who is marginally employed.”

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      • In reply to Emily

        I mean, fair is fair, right? So I encourage OP to think about what kind of effort he’d be willing to give to tables that don’t tip for about $2.35 an hour… or $0.78 – $0.33 / hr per table, depending on volume.
        It might be considered a reach, but it comes down to survival of the fittest and almost an evolutionary response – as an intelligent human, I’m not going to waste my hard-won energy on a table that won’t tip me. Period! I’m working for food and to live; serving is not a lucrative profession if the system fails and people stop tipping. Usually, I assume I’ll be tipped and that I’ll have enough money to bring home to live another couple of days, so I’m always working hard and trying to be optimistic, giving it 100%. But dude, good luck to you if you find a restaurant that you really like/frequent, and you don’t tip. ..just, good luck. And remember that what separates the *EXPERIENCE* of eating out at a restaurant and fast food like Chipotle/McDonald’s is that someone is coming to you, being pleasant, offering you a service, letting you relax while they do the work. That’s not a conveyor belt system. It’s a service that isn’t owed to you… grow up, deal with the “messed up system” and be a fucking man.

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    • In reply to Smak

      Ha.

      You choose to work in a restaurant because of the enjoyment you receive out of serving other people, putting a smile on their faces etc.
      Fine, you like your job. But people liking or hating their job does not correlate with their wages.

      Also, please understand that people generally do not dine out because of the people who work there. They go because they want to hang out together, talk to EACH OTHER, not being interrupted all the time with “How is everything” and their fakes smiles. I don’t call that polite. It is actually rude.

      Finally, you not being adequately paid has nothing to do with the customer who pays their bill and has everything to do with your employer simply not paying you.

      Please do not make this personal as in people enjoying their work and other non-related thing you mentioned in your post.

      Reply

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