Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.
Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra
The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?
Waiters. Ding ding!
See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.
Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!
Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!
Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.
But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.
And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.
I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.
Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically
Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.
As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.
$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.
You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.
Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students
Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.
Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.
Why even bother pretending that servers would be paid minimum wage in the first place? There is an obvious difference between the level of work involved with McDonald’s style food service and restaurant food service. There are also more than enough examples of how much bartenders and servers are paid in countries/cultures that don’t use tips – it’s often more than double minimum wage.
But really, it doesn’t matter – at least to this guy. The not to surprising reality is just how much this lives up the stereotypes all servers know and use.
– I know it sucks for all those Indian/Asian guys/girls that tip normally/well but your cultural stereotype proceeds you. Therefore, the majority of long-time servers consider your table a ‘burner.’ ie: If any other table you have wants your attention for any reason – they get it and your table gets ‘burned.’
Want to know the server cheat sheet?
– Asian with heavy accent: 99% of the time that’s a 10% tip no matter how well or poorly you do. They will be polite and will likely share a drink / order hot water with lemon.
– Asian with little to no accent: Could be 10% could be more.
– White girls in club clothes: Will tip men if they work for it – burner table for all but the best female servers.
– 30-40 year old women ‘girls night’: Payday for male servers.
– Old people: They’re in it for the long haul and no/little tip. They’re generally rather friendly though if treated with respect.
– Black men/women: Will tip average amount but if they order steak 99% of the time it will be well done. (I still don’t know why this is)
– Stoners: Easy to upsell but you shoot yourself in the foot. The bill is almost always a surprise.
– Indian/South Asian: 9 out of 10 times you’re getting next to nothing and a high likelihood of attempts to nickel and dime the price down.
If you don’t fall into those stereotypes, great! However, as a guy who has worked at a handful of restaurants with ethnically diverse customers AND staff these hold true the majority of the time. That’s why they’re stereotypes after all.
You’re still an idiot. You can’t convince me other wise.
I spent 2 years in Germany and they have an interesting culture. They do not ask for a tip. When they do get it, they are grateful. When it is not there, they are equally polite. Sure tipping will get me recognized but it will not let me enjoy any extra benefits(apart from the occasional phone number but I digress). People there do not depend on tips to survive. Why the difference?
In reply to sarat
Different culture, different traditions. Different society, different standards. Why do we have different languages?
Wow lol all I have to say about the pathetic waste of a life that wrote this is that I am certain anyone this desperate to make others feel bad has a penis SO small he has no choice but to sit and pee. Your a sad useless addition to this world.
In reply to Ashleigh
HAHA! Very true.
In reply to Ashleigh
Odd that Ashleigh would comment on someone’s penis with respect to how he feels about tipping in a restaurant. For all I care, he could have no penis at all and the rule would STILL be that all tips are, by definition, optional. Because Ashleigh has no substantive argument, he or she resorts to ad hominem discourse. “I disagree with him, so he must have a small penis.” Very logical.
I have yet to understand why I should tip also. I am from the US but I do not agree with HAVING to tip just because they earn less then minimum wage. I did not tell them to work there nor did I make them have to depend on tips. There are many other opportunities out there for money making aside from depending on the “kindness of strangers.” I have told waiters up front that I will not be tipping them. Some get obviously mad and one even spit in my food (He got fired), but occasionally there are a few that regardless of knowing they are not going to earn a tip still treat me with the same respect that they would any other customer. These are the people I think deserve tips. People who regardless of whether or not you are going to tip decide to go the extra mile and treat you like others whilst doing their job. In my opinion tipping is a choice not a requirement. Call me a heartless human being or even cheapskate trash, but I will never agree that because someone chooses to put themselves in a situation that they have to depend on others that I should help them out. It’s like asking me to feel bad for a single mother of 12 where all 12 kids have different fathers and have been living in poor conditions since the first was born. Why would you have 11 more kids knowing you can’t even deal with 1. ABSURD.
In reply to Baddiez
Your a cheapskate trash :)
In reply to Baddiez
White trash at its finest. If you can’t afford to go out for dinner then stay home.
In reply to Baddiez
If more participants of America’s free market economy thought like you, then we would cease to be a first world country. You seem to be expecting something for free not on a macro level such as your brand new car breaking down, but on a micro level such as the person “waiting” on you hand and foot so your dinner is not interrupted and more pleasant. 10% is the absolute minimum, unless the service is absolutely abhorrent. If you have a habit of not reading a book but determining its value by the cover alone and refuse to pay the service tip charge, then please take your business to a fast food or buffet establishment.
Sincerely,
The service industry.
In reply to Shame on you
Hey, why all the hate on the buffet waitstaff? They gotta eat too don’t they? I always tip at a buffet as long as they are prompt with the drink refills and take our plates promptly. Granted its less of a skilled job than many waitressing jobs but as far as I know they get paid just as poorly.
In reply to Baddiez
You say they deserve tips but yet probably still do not tip them. If you told me you weren’t tipping, you’d get the bare minimum service level, but I’d make damn sure your food came quickly and I’d do everything in my power to rush you out so we could get someone else at your table ASAP. BTW – you obviously are dependent on others if you’re in a restaurant in the first place or you would be cooking at home, so you have no room to talk.
In reply to Josh
Anyone claiming they are going to adjust their level of service based upon their expectation of a tip is simply running an extortion racket. You’re hired to serve the customer. If you can’t do that at the required level of professional courtesy, then you’re the one with the problem. Tips are always optional. If you get one, it’s a gift — appreciate it or get a job where you get paid the same whether or not the customer likes your work.
I only have one answer to your litany of words. We do get taxed for a certain percentage (depends on which State one is in) of your bill, with or without tips. So if you don’t tip, we pay tax for an income we did not make. That is aside from the tip out we have to make at the end of the shift to bussers, food runners, bartenders and hostesses. If you think that’s fine, then you should also pay taxes for income you did not make, then see how it feels. If IRS would not require us to pay, then that will be a totally different story, which, is the case in other countries, but not the US. If you feel that tipping is not appropriate, why don’t you just buy tv dinners, I’m sure they have wide selection, and eat it in your home. At least that way, no one else has to deal with a miserable person such as you.
You need to tread carefully Bhagwad. Found your address, shall I post it here? Fun and games are done, your personal safety is in my hands now.
In reply to Hatingthisbrownskin
Lol, post whatever the hell you want. This is the Internet, and virtual muscles don’t count :p . Do you know how pathetic you sound?
In reply to Hatingthisbrownskin
Please post it!
In reply to Hatingthisbrownskin
hmmm you realize this makes YOU the scumbag, where before it was all douchewad…..and be careful.. he lives in florida, where concealed carry is legal and stand your ground is a legal defense.
In reply to Marie
I meant to say CC is COMMON.. its pretty much LEGAL everywhere..
Bhagwad,
What you have is a problem against the system set in place, but you are taking it out on individuals.
It’s simple. If no one tipped, then either 1)You wouldn’t have servers, and would have to deal with giving your order to chefs, who either a)often don’t speak good English, b)REALLY ACTUALLY would tell you to fuck yourself if you gave them any grief, or c)you would have to set your own table and clean up after yourself, or 2) The service industry as a WHOLE would either a)charge 10-15% gratuity as a standard practice OR b) increase the price of food by a percent that allows them to pay their servers a reasonable wage for their work.
Seriously, Bhagwad, this is what you are missing here: YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THE WAY THE ESTABLISHMENT IS SET UP, AND ARE TAKING IT OUT ON SERVERS. SERVERS DO NOT MAKE THE RULES. THEY WORK A JOB WITHIN A GIVEN SYSTEM THAT THEY DID NOT SET UP. You cannot say if the system is unfair they should all leave their jobs. In that case, THERE WOULD NOT BE A SERVICE INDUSTRY as we know it. It’s not something that’s going to change anytime soon. If you don’t like the system, you don’t have to participate in it. YOU CHOOSE TO PARTICIPATE. Has anyone ever held a gun to your head and forced you to eat out at a restaurant? If you get a craving for Indian (your native) food, you can make your own curry dish. If you get a craving for Chinese, you can fry your own wontons. If you have a craving for Mexican you can make your own quesadilla. But of course, if you have a busy life and too little free time for such things, you can go out to a restaurant. IN DOING SO, YOU ARE CHOOSING TO PARTICIPATE IN THE SYSTEM. IF NO ONE TIPPED THAT SYSTEM WOULD NOT BE IN PLACE OR YOU WOULD JUST PAY MORE IN OTHER WAYS AS OUTLINED ABOVE. This is not hard to understand. It’s really not.
If you think this is a bullshit argument you are simply confused. Go work as a server. See for yourself. No one would do that job for minimum wage. NO ONE. Not even the starving mother. She would whore herself out before doing that job for minimum wage.
You feel like you are arguing from some high place of social enlightenment or higher order thinking. In reality, you are displaying yet another item of discrimination that sits on par with racism, gender-ism, or nationalism. You are a brown male living in a post 9-11 America. You write article about Indian politics that thought on the social issues of Hinduism. You’d think you would be an individual less likely than average to fall victim to bigoted views, right? Surely, you aren’t just ignorant to this one facet of life. I’m throwing you a rope.
The problem is, you are a writer. Just a writer. You write in a somewhat tactful way. Sometimes. Your ideas are somewhat coherent. Hell, some of your opinions aren’t even terrible. I’ve read some of your stuff. I bet you love that right? Extra attention to your other articles from one backwater bigoted article you wrote a long time ago? But unfortunately my friend…
You are not a philosopher, a master of social studies, or any other field that would allow you to have a good opinion on the service industry. How can I tell? I’ve read your stuff. You fail here. A mature modern man knows when to walk away. I’m giving you that chance.
So here goes: I’ve set up an email if you want to continue this debate: [email protected]. If I don’t hear from you in a timely manner, I will accept your concession. Refusal to continue this discussion with me is an act of concession. It is the equivalent of you making your next blog post “I am an ass for not tipping. I now see the light.” The ball’s in your court. I don’t really care if you are too busy dealing with numerous people harassing you for your statements. You brought this on yourself. Respond in a few days, or you will have implicitly conceded your point.
Once again, [email protected]. Hope to hear from you soon. If not, you can continue to argue with whoever on your blog or Facebook or whatever, but between you and I personally, you will have implicitly admitted defeat and apologized.
Namaste
In reply to endoftheline
No body owes you servers anything. IDGAF if the service industry fell apart tomorrow because the finer dining places I frequent will adjust, if they failed at all because I actually tip them, they earn it. But if I am out with friends at let’s say Chilis, or Outback, if the service is mediocre at best, I won’t tip because I won’t be back anyway and they won’t know that I am not tipping until the very end, they won’t remember me to harass me or spit in my food next time anyway.
I really don’t care that they only get $2.11/hour. Take it up with the employer and the government. They are the ones lobbying to keep the system in place. Service minimum wage was suppose to always be half of the true minimum wage, but the Restaurant Association lobbies against it. Take it up with them, since it effects YOU, then YOU do something to change it.
Until then, continue to get stiffed by us “cheap asses” because I refuse to subsidize your employers Direct Labor Costs because one way or another, if they want to make money selling food, they have to get it to my table.
I can’t wait until there are displays for ordering at each table and we can say to hell with you entitlement minded, ungrateful, unskilled morons with no ambition, otherwise you’d move on to other careers and quit crying that you don’t make enough tips.
In reply to NobodyOwesyouaTHING
Tell it to the proctologist who waited tables to put himself through school so that he could remove the stick from your ass.
The whole idea behind tipping instead of the restaurant paying the servers minimum wage( I guess that’s what you think they deserve HA) is that You get to pay the server based on how well they take care of your needs. Otherwise- Good luck getting a refill on your drink, or condiments, or a to go box. Good luck getting your food or check in a timely manner because I don’t feel like bringing it to your rude ass. It would not affect my pay anyway. When I was a server I did not pretend to be your best friend. I was friendly, yes, because that is what most people want and it is part of the experience that you speak of. I made sure that drinks did not go empty, and that every request was completed in a timely manner. If servers were only paid minimum wage I #1 would not have been a server( you would see employees more along the lines of mcdondalds). I #2 would not give a shit about what you need. Why would I ? It doesn’t affect my pay anyway. Like I said think fast food service. On another note, here’s a way everyone can win. You get your tip included in the price, the server doesn’t get stiffed, and the restaurant doesn’t lose any more money off of their already small margins. Automatic Gratuity! If there was ever a reason for the restaurants to add this, here it is. BTW I think your blog should be called “Reasons I came up with to justify being a cheap ass hole”.
In reply to Hannah
You do realize that most salaried people in the world do their job without an additional incentive don’t you? After all, if a business analyst does a bad job it doesn’t necessarily affect their pay. Still there’s something known as integrity…
In reply to bhagwad
Really? No extra incentive? No such thing as bonuses? I would say the middle class are the individuals with no extra incentive and simply work based off of integrity. If a business analyst does a bad job, they can potentially be fired… ESPECIALLY as a business analyst.
In reply to Lucy
You’re talking as if a waiter can’t be fired for doing a bad job repeatedly. Everyone just does their job.
In reply to bhagwad
Minimum wage is not a salary.. At minimum wage you should expect the same caliber of service at your your upscale restaurants as your getting at McDonalds.. If your cool with that please take your cheap ass back to whatever backwoods dump of a country you came from.
In reply to bhagwad
Most salaried workers do their job without incentives? Really? No bonuses? no insurance? No retirement plans? No company perks? As a server of over 20 years, i have only worked for one company out of so so many that i actually have these incentives. But, i am an hourly worker. My experience is not typical. Most servers are “part time” and are not offered any of these benefits/incentives. And trust me, if they do as horrible of a job as you claim, they would get fired. Restaurants are in it to make money, it is called free market…if someone does a terrible job, it will reflect in business and the bottom dollar, and will be dealt with accordingly. The only time i have made 30,000 or more as a server was when i worked two part time jobs and 60 hours a week without a day off for more than 18 months. Healthcare came out of pocket. retirement came out of pocket, and i received no bonuses or company perks. You have the right to not tip if you so choose, but please do not belittle me because i choose this profession, yes, i said profession, because i am a professional. I like my work despite all the ups and downs. I take it seriously and learn more everyday about what is trending, what tastes good together, and what type of service people expect. It can be a work of art just to “read” a table correctly to give the type of service they expect. And by the way, it is much more skilled than you think. Anyone can bring you a plate of food, but it takes a skilled and professional server to bring it to you without dumping it in your lap….
In reply to Sharon
Yes, many salary positions come with NO bonuses, and these days, NO benefits. Employers are using the PPACA law to shed costs by putting their employees out on the government mandated plans. Americans are so dumb, refusing to read the law for themselves and will get exactly what they deserve for doing so.
And no, it doesn’t take a pro not to spill food. I taught my four year old how to not spill food. Hell, a monkey could do your job if that’s all it comes down to; and soon (not soon enough) a computer will take customers orders and a food runner will drop off the food. The computer will allow for a button to be pushed to request refills. The days of unskilled laborers getting butthurt for not getting tips is coming to a close. Thank goodness. You’ll have to actually DO something hard for a change.
Just curious, do you tell your servers this up front? If so, then I commend you and respect your right to not tip. I still think your kind of an asshole for it, but that is besides the point. However, if you don’t tell them this up front, then you are being dishonest. You well know that you are entering into the restaurant with the server giving the service they are based the expectation that you will tip them. The system that is set up isn’t your problem, but it’s not really my problem either. It is what it is. That’s how I make my money and 99% of the people I take care of understand that. It’s not at all your problem or your fault, that’s just what it is. If this is something you feel this strongly about, I don’t really see why you wouldn’t let everyone know this up front. Unless you know you would not get the service that you want, which you would not, and hide that until the end of your meal. Again, I know it’s not your problem but it’s not mine either that I wouldn’t give you stellar service when I have other guests that aren’t insufferable assholes who deserve more attention. I have been in the service industry for 10 years and I say this as a cook, bartender, manager and co owner. I would have no trouble telling you that if this is how you honestly feel, then I would not want your business.
In reply to Adam Workman
No, those servers better give good service to keep their job and represent the company.
A tip is extra. If my server doesn’t get it, there is a reason. Either way a GRATUITY is extra, so if I don’t give it, the server didn’t lose out on anything because it was suppose to be above and beyond if they gave above and beyond service.
Your comments just show the entitlement-minded expectations of servers which is why I enjoy finding reasons to stiff your unskilled asses.