Underlying most of the victim blaming that goes on when a woman is assaulted, is a scary and rather offensive assumption. That men “can’t control themselves”. Apparently not a tiny number of people think that we are these slavering, foaming at the mouth, dangerous animals who need to be kept unstimulated and that a woman’s body language, her clothes, shape of her pinkie finger or whatever is like waving a red flag to a bull. “They can’t help it!”. The mother of one of the rapists in the Mumbai photojournalist gang rape case said “What was her son supposed to do? He lost control!”
Oh really? I mean seriously?
Would these guys still have assaulted the girl had they thought that:
- She carried a gun, or
- Had a deadly Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD), or
- Had a couple of professional bodyguards around the corner?
“Lost control” literally means “Unable to do anything else”. So little details like the above wouldn’t have stopped the guys from raping her right? Oh they would have?
But…but…they lost control. How could they have acted differently?
Oh I see! These guys “lost control” only when it was safe to do so. Right, right. I get it now. “Lost control”. *Wink wink*!
I can guarantee you that if a beautiful naked woman were to walk down the most crime infested area in Delhi at 3:00 AM with adequate protection, no one would lose control. Even the most dangerous insane maniac will keep his dick in his pants. Because they know better. They weigh the odds. They calculate.
And this is the very opposite of “losing control”. Truth be told, no one loses control. The same applies to losers who beat their wives and later justify it by saying “I lost control”. These jerkoffs are used to beating on people without getting the worst end of the deal, and so they “lose control”.
Of course, not all men even require the threat of violence to keep it down. I can confidently state that I can easily and with only a bare minimum of effort keep my hands off a woman if she just says “No” regardless of the situation, her dress, her attitude, her way of standing, the time of the night and so on and so forth.
Because I’m not an animal. Actually, why should I insult all animals here? Dogs for example are fully capable of controlling themselves if consequences are made clear. Ever seen a dog just standing in front of a tasty treat waiting for permission to gobble it? Even they have sufficient control.
So the next time you hear someone say or imply that “He lost control”, you know that it’s one of the biggest bullshit lies ever manufactured to deflect blame. In truth, they’re only condemning themselves.