5 reasons why I won’t tip you if you’re a waiter

It never fails to shock me how a tip is demanded in the US. People simply refuse to listen to reason when we (yes, there are others!) tell them that leaving a tip isn’t necessary. Well, I’m hoping for too much here, but if you’re a waiter, here are 5 reasons why I will try my best not to give any money to you and why the reasons for tipping are crappy.

1. You act as if you’re my best friend

Just leave me alone ok? I don’t want to bloody chit chat with you. I want food. FOOD! Get it? It’s a restaurant. I go there to eat. I go because I want either Italian food, Chinese Food or something else which I can’t get in a McDonald’s. So I come to a restaurant to fulfill my cravings for it. I will pay for what I value – food. Not you.

Christ, you offend me – kneeling down next to my table, pretending to like me and chatting as if you’re my best friend when it’s obvious that all you’re after is the tip! I’m not a bloody money bag you know. I will pay the bill which includes the cost of the food, the environment and the salaries of the people involved – nothing more.

The only way to get money out of me that I don’t have to legally pay is by prying it out of my cold dead hands…

Bottom line: I don’t want to know your name, or interact with you for any longer than I have to in order to place my order. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the equivalent of a conveyor belt that brings me my food and a computer into which I input my order. Of course, I won’t be rude. But don’t expect me to interact with you any more than I would with some stranger.

Image Credit: cafemama

 

Did you earn this tip?

 

2. You don’t get paid enough

And this is my problem how exactly? It’s astonishing that customers are expected to make up for your employer’s cheapness in not paying you a decent wage. Please include the full cost in everyone’s bill thank you very much. I’ll pay it because I have to and the charge is there for me to see.

What’s really funny here is that no one seems to criticize the employers! All criticism is reserved for non tipping customers instead of the owners of the restaurant for not paying a decent wage. Wtf! Could it possibly be because you guys know you can make much more by tips and under report your income to the IRS?

3. You’ll spit in my food if I don’t tip you?

And I’ll shoot your kid if you don’t give me a million dollars. Seriously, am I even hearing this right? You’re actually using the threat of blackmail to make me pay you? Well as long as you’re openly claiming to be a criminal it’s all right I guess.

Fortunately that’s why I prefer buffets. Listen apart from it being illegal, this shows your poor integrity. But if you spit in someone’s food because they didn’t give you money you didn’t earn, then you’re a loser and deserve to be a waiter for the rest of your life.

4. Bringing me my food isn’t worthy of being paid extra

Did you cook it? Did you invent it? No. You picked it up and brought it to me. While it might not be easy, there are plenty of jobs which are much worse – shop floor workers for example. And I’ve been a shop floor manager, so I know. Face it – compared to other jobs, being a waiter is unskilled. You get paid what the market will think your services are worth. You don’t deserve more for your work over and above what your employer should pay you.

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees

I expect you to be grateful and pray for me at night if I tip you 10%. Be happy I gave you anything at all. I worked for the money in my wallet and by giving you some I didn’t have to, I’m doing you a favor. Learn to remember that when people give you something they don’t need to, it’s a favor. You don’t complain that they didn’t give you more!

By the way, the same thing above applies to all professions that demand tips including those on cruise liners.

So now that you understand why I won’t give you money you don’t deserve, stop with the “oh how could you?” attitude. I can. And I will.

Update: Here’s a rebuttal of the many silly justifications for tipping that people have given in the comments section.

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Comments

  1. You don’t just say “I don’t tip because it’s ridiculious”…

    You decide to tip base on how they care to serve you .If you are cheap,don’t bother yourself for standard dinning out experience.
    Just go where it fit to your mentality. Let those servers work the way they suppose to(without you),please.
    Cheap taste always showing its little shitty value to others no matter where it goes.That’s what going on in faker’s world.
    It’s not even realistic enough to support restaurant business. There are places where the servers care to serve you with high value foods and high end drinks.And on top of all,they care to pay attention to what you need for the dine out experience

    For those experienced servers,they know when you are inexperienced dine out.
    But with little of your etiquette manners,they know that you are worth to deal with.

    No server or anybody wants to deal with you when you are noticeable of being a garbage.
    The way you ask something, the way you talk, the way of showing your unfamiliarity and the way you try to be demanding so you can cover your insecurity.
    All of these and more are easily noticable as foreign matters. They probably thinking of keeping you out of their places because they don’t want you to come back and wasting your own time interfering with their business task.

    Keep in mind that you might not belong there in the first place.

    Reply

    • In reply to Khan Kingdom

      I’m not sure if you are high, on drugs, or retarded. Nothing you said makes any sense.
      The wait staff should be honored to serve me because I am wealthy and important.
      My tip to them is don’t work a teenager job to support yourself.

      Reply

      • In reply to Hale

        YOU’re not sure if yourse lf is high, on drugs, or retarded. Nothing you said makes any sense to yourself or others.
        You only deserve kids to wait on your table for dinning out. Enjoy your low self expectation.

        Reply

      • In reply to Khan Kingdom

        Learn the English language. You sound like an uneducated foreigner.

        Reply

      • dontbestupid says

        In reply to Hale

        That’s exactly what he/she is. It was painful reading their posts. Hey Hale, us non-tippers are going to go out to eat without tipping and that’s our right because it’s OUR MONEY. Go cry to someone on an ESL board while you work HARD on improving your English.

        Reply

      • dontbestupid says

        In reply to dontbestupid

        Whoops, that was meant for Khan Kingdom not Hale. My bad.

        Reply

  2. I think he just copied and pasted from your sentences,you idiot maggots.You guys don’t have some kind of intuition at all. I guess education doesn’t always go well when being used by morons. I like listen to wisdom spoken with broken e n g lish rather than be patient listening to educated morons.
    Goodbye….you maggots in filth

    Reply

  3. Uneducated foreigner vs foreign matter HAHAHAHA

    Did you just using the word “uneducated foreigner” just because he mentioned foreign matter?Did you even get what he said? You don’t know how to respond to that so you back fire at him with your childish shit….PATHETIC…PATHETIC..PATHETIC ..MORON.. MORON.. MORON

    I an NOT even coming back to this forum again. It disgusted me so bad I want to gouge my eyes out.

    Reply

  4. George M Bruck says

    what a piece of crap

    Reply

  5. What a piece of crap the waiter or waitress is to expect a tip. It is ridiculous these people feel entitled to extra money.

    Bringing me my food is not worthy of extra money or compensation of any kind.

    If you’re not happy with your paycheck, that is something you need to discuss with your employer.

    Keep in mind that with or without tips the employer is required to pay wait staff minimum wage no matter what. I am the customer not the employer. I am only required to pay for my dinner, not a penny more.

    Reply

    • In reply to Bradley

      You are exactly right. The waiter or waitress that brings me my food is doing the job the employer pays them to do.

      The employer pays them what they are worth. I should not be expected to pay them more. I am the customer not the employer.

      It is a simple minimum wage job.
      That’s right boys and girls, the employer is required BY LAW TO PAY MINIMUM WAGE EVEN IF THEY GET ZERO TIPS.
      If you want a bigger paycheck go to college and get a degree. Learn a trade, or a skill.

      Just don’t expect me to pay you extra money for doing your simple high school kid job. Don’t be mad at me or your employer. You are the one to blame for for failing to plan your life better before you entered the adult working world.

      Reply

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