We sometimes like to view humanity as one monolithic whole. As if we’re “all in this together”. It’s a wonderful concept and a useful one too. If only we could keep thinking like that many of our world’s problems would have a better chance of working themselves out. Nations won’t fight each other so much, charity will pick up and we’ll get a real sense of global community instead of the fractured nation, state, and religious identity that we subscribe to today.
Unfortunately this bonhomie and concern for others can end up screwing your peace of mind. It’s the ultimate question – do we conduct ourselves as if were were alone or as if we’re part of a community? No matter how close knit we are, the fact of the matter is that we’re going to die alone and our lives have no absolute meaning despite it’s great value to us. The fundamental paradox. Countries like China and India are very “society” based. Which has it’s problems. Countries like the US and EU are “individual” based – “society” be damned. But this isn’t a post for me to explain why I feel the latter is superior to the former.
But we all care about others nonetheless. It’s a basic human trait. Even those we don’t know. The world is full of suffering. At the best of times, there are thousands and thousands of people dying of hunger, undergoing horrible torture, murder, rape, and neglect. And not just humans. There are those animals who are victims of our activities. If we have even the tiniest care for fellow living creatures, how can we ever be at peace knowing that stuff like this happens? If we sit and dwell upon it, we can never feel good. The only way one can feel ok is by blocking stuff out like this for most of the time. This doesn’t mean we should live in ignorance of course. We can have knowledge and not have it “sink in”.
Which brings me to the fundamental point – we’re all alone. Each of us is responsible for ourselves. For a time other people can worry about us and take care of us, but they have their own lives to lead. Each body has it’s own caretaker whose job it is to look out for it. Sounds depressing I know, but that’s the way it is. “Community living” or living with “society” is an illusion that hides the essential loneliness of each of us. Even family can only come with us up to a point. Sooner or later we stop caring about someone else’s problems and come back to taking care of our own. It’s natural.
Everyone cares only up to a point. You might give money to a beggar in need, but you won’t give them your house and all your wealth. Because you have your own life to lead. Your own interests to look out for. And this is right and proper. After a certain point, being blind to the sufferings of others is inevitable.
There’s hope in this gloomy outlook. It means that being at peace is within the reach of us all. In the final analysis we don’t have to overly care about other people – only to the extent that the broader world impacts us. If it weren’t this way we would never be happy.
Completely agree with the post..& sometimes it gets intolerable.
This is why I made a point (especially in my line of work) to be on the side of making the world a better place. Not in the sense where I’ll go out and cure world hunger, or prevent violence against marginalized groups. I don’t really look at it as being blind per se but my way of dealing with it is if I can make even the smallest difference in someone’s life then to me, that’s enough. I feel like I’ve done my part, without giving up my needs.
In reply to RenKiss
What line of work are you in?
In reply to bhagwad
I’m a social worker. :) So you can imagine I’m basically surrounded by suffering and not only that, it’s basically my job to at least ease that suffering.
I believe that if someone asks you for any kind of help and it is within your power to help that person and are idf you are moved to help that person – then do it. That is how it was meant to be.We dont HAVE to go out and look for someone who needs to be helped. Being a believer in the law of karma and past lives, i believe that when someone takes something from you, you owe it to them for some reason and by giving whatever was asked for, a debt has been cleared.
i have been accused of being a milch cow, but it’s wonderful to be able to feel at the end of the day that all is cleared and that one does not owe anyone anything.
This is such a great post. Concerning oneself with the problems of the world or indeed others outside the circle of our immediate family can only burden the mind and make it restless and depressed. Being selfish can be a good thing if peace of mind is what one craves. In this one can learn from the animal kingdom. A dog or a cat does not care about the well being of the world or the injustices that are heaped upon others of its ilk. If it did, then a pet dog living in the lap of luxury in a rich household would be whining all day at the plight of his / her brethren fighting for a piece of bone near a garbage bin. Yet it is supremely happy and attaches himself only to one of two beings outside it’s orbit and no more. In the wild, this reality is even more apparent when it is every lion, cheetah, alligator or buffalo for himself. Not only does a wild animal not care about the concerns about others of it’s ilk, it is not uncommon for them to snatch prey from the mouths of others to feed his own hunger and ultimately ensure his own survival. With all my vast experience in dealing with human conflict, I can say with full clarity backed with ample proof that man is just another species of the animal kingdom and try as we might believe otherwise, in this world ultimately it is every man for himself. The sooner society does away with complex institutions that further the concept of togetherness like marriage for example, the sooner will mankind see glimpses of bliss and happiness.
In reply to Amit Sen
Thanks Amit. It’s true…we can take a hint from animals who while not being cruel, don’t overtly care too much about others. We also have to maintain the right mix of caring/uncaring to be sane and happy…
My solution to this is to do my bit and to believe that every little bit counts. Just living our lives ethically, causing no pain that can be avoided is also a part of doing our bit.
Since a country is made up of people. And people are made up of individuals. So if individuals in this country live well, then it follows that people will live well.
Charity is the worst thing that people in India can do. It is better to start businesses and employ people if you have the money. Spending money puts it into the hands of people who work for a living. Simply giving money to beggars and doing “charity” work provides incentive to people to not work. Buy a car instead of donating money to some religious institution.
Spending money is the only way to show society that you care. Buy more, spend more, try to send money into the economy. It provides salary to workers and promotes social harmony. Nobody likes to beg for a living. Do us all a favour and spend some money instead of giving it to some political/religious charity. Give self respect to other people, don’t create dependents.
I’ve on day 7 of an experiment of not paying attention to the news so your post really hit home. Normally, I’m very in tune with the news and what’s happening in the world. Unfortunately, when I see poverty, war, murder, torture, and suffering of both humans and animals (as you correctly point out!) I can get to the brink of psychological devastation.
Usually I feel obligated to be informed (as a citizen of the world), but what does being informed accomplish? Unless the individual takes action (and signing online petitions and posting rants to social media don’t count), it accomplishes nothing at best and a feeling of utter powerlessness and hopelessness at worse. Those feelings can become paralyzing.
On the other hand, willful ignorance creates problems as well. Unless a person examines reality from time to time, he or she can wind up blind to suffering, unwittingly contributing to suffering, or doing nothing in the face of suffering that he or she can in fact help stop.
For myself, I try to lead my life in a way that minimizes the suffering of others. With respect to animals and the environment, that means eating a fully plant-based (vegetarian/vegan) diet. I also try to buy products that I know were manufactured under humane conditions (for people and animals). I’m not claiming perfection, however mindfulness of how my behaviors impact others and a continual striving for more mindfulness and for less negative impact.
And what about positive impact? Here is where I may suggest a nuance to your view. I don’t think we can only look inward. It’s a difficult balance, but for our lives to be complete, we must have a balance of the individual and the community, and at heart, what feeds our individual souls more than helping our friends, neighbors, and communities?
Part of the challenge is that capitalism and the (theoretical) supremecy of the individual in capitalist societies is a failed model. The capitalistic model is pervasive around the world and has even corrupted more community-based societies such as India and China.
At the moment, I’m exploring the sharing economy (mostly through the free software movement). My explorations are just beginning so I don’t have much to report yet, but I appreciate your blog post for giving me an opportunity to think through some of these issues as I embark on the journey.
In reply to wr
Yep, it’s a balance alright – news and caring vs ignorance…
Btw I don’t think we should underestimate the power of social media. As an individual post, it perhaps counts as no more than an individual vote. Taken in the aggregate it becomes a powerful barometer of the people’s mood that politicians in many countries have been forced to listen to again and again.