Dear Andhra DGP,
Well I had to say it, so here it is. I’m a slut. Have been one for several years. I’ve had sex with not just one man, but many! I enjoy choosing whom I want to have sex with. This means weeding out all the useless lowlifes and selecting only those with whom I can have a great time.
I also dress accordingly. I wear the skimpiest clothes possible, without breaking any obscenity laws :-). I show my cleavage, the outline of my panties, bare my shoulders, and let down my hair. None of this useless covering business for me! The purpose of my clothes, is to accentuate what I don’t show. I want you to imagine what I’m hiding. I enjoy being stripped by men’s eyes. It’s the unwritten law of the jungle after all – if I wear something sexy, men have a right to look…the keyword being look. Not the same as scarily ogling mind you!
As a self-proclaimed slut, I get a lot of attention. Quite a lot of it is from roadside romeos. But I can handle it… as long as it doesn’t turn physical. And that’s the point of this little confession. A lot of you out there seem to think that it’s okay to touch, when it’s not. Hey, if I don’t want to sleep with you, I’m not going to! There’s nothing you can do about it. I – and only I – decide whom to sleep with. Don’t feel bad now.
My body doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to me. I’m proud of it – so I show it. How would you like it, if I told you to cover up your fancy new car so that others won’t feel jealous? Or not to cook tasty food because those outside might “lose control” with the wonderful smell and can break into your kitchen? Or advise shops not to display their wares because someone might “lose control”? You get the idea don’t you?
Besides, I’ve always thought that the stupid notion of “control” was a red herring. Come on you guys, you know jolly well that you have full control over what you do. As a slut, I expose my scantily clad body to hundreds of men every day. Only a very small, tiny percentage of men have ever tried to go beyond just looking. So trust me, I know. It’s not in “men’s nature” to lose control whenever they see a woman like me. If it was, I would be assaulted by almost every single guy I ever met!
And is it a a coincidence, that no well protected woman ever gets raped? I mean, it’s basic logic right? If guys “lose control” when they see me, they should try and touch regardless of how much protection I have. That’s what “lose control” means after all doesn’t it? It means that you don’t weigh the pros and cons of your actions – the “con” in this case being the introduction to the sound of your arms being ripped off by my Salman Khan bodyguard :D
So dear, dear DGP. I’m not going to sleep with you, cause I think you’re a loser. But guess what, my taxes pay your fucking salary and I expect results. I expect you to do your job, catch and punish those who dare touch me, and not make excuses for them, like you’ve been doing so far. The fact that sexual crimes are on the rise point to a failure on your part – not mine. I live in India. A free country. A country which guarantees me the right to do as I please as long as I don’t hurt anyone. And giving people eye candy, isn’t hurting anyone. I’ve yet to meet a man whose brain has gotten fried by seeing me sizzle! I don’t hit anyone, touch anyone, molest anyone, or abuse anyone. I’m doing my duty as a law-abiding citizen. I expect protection dammit.
So get off your ass and start protecting me!
Sincerely yours,
On behalf of sluts all over the world
LOL!
Oh yeah! Its a wonder isn’t it how the ‘losing control’ happens ONLY when no one is around?!
In reply to Shail
Selective loss of control!
thats an intersting read Bhagwad,
and it is really balanced article..
yeah indians dress less provocatively than americans,,
people are fearless of law in India,, that is why they do all these things..
http://www.readitt.in (the e magazine)
Point well made..a woman has a right to flaunt her body as she pleases without being obscene & what the heck is “losing control” anyway? Does that make stealing okay too…”Sorry I lost control seeing so much money”…strange that the DGP should come up with such a lame excuse for their shortcomings!
In reply to Rinaya Jena
Perhaps the DGP should be locked away since he also can so easily “lose control” of himself :)
Awesome post. As always, with the posts here. Very balanced, and the tongue poked out humour hits square .. where it should!
Underscore this:
“And giving people eye candy, isn’t hurting anyone. I’ve yet to meet a man whose brain has gotten fried by seeing me sizzle! I don’t hit anyone, touch anyone, molest anyone, or abuse anyone. I’m doing my duty as a law-abiding citizen. I expect protection dammit.”
In reply to Usha
Thanks Usha :)
I rarely go with Absolute Truths but I want to label the fourth paragraph as such.
Awesome post! Pointing fingers is such a easy game, which even 1st grade kids play!
Brilliant!
If I were the DGP I would be squirming in my chair!
At IHM’s blog, there was a recent quote attributed to Mallika Sheravat who said she would cover her body if Aishwarya Rai covers her face.
I loved that quote
Regards
GV
In reply to G Vishwanath
Wow – that’s an awesome quote! It really is.
Ha ha ha…superbly written! :D
Happy New Year to all!
I would like to invite the regulars to identify the “weasel words” in this post (or the closest candidates in their opinion). I found 2 at first read.
thanks
Jai
In reply to Jai_C
Well Jai, it’s supposed to be a humorous piece and not a manuscript of logic :) . So I’m actually surprised you found only two!
What were they btw?
In reply to Jai_C
“weasel word” is probably too strong for what i intended, slippery slope is more accurate maybe.
1. i can dress skimpily (as long as i dont break any obscenity laws)
2. they can look (different from scary ogle of course)
The degree of imprecision make these not-so-straight binary choices. If you think about it decency and obscenity laws have been conceded ground here (which is perfectly okay with me since I am traditional/ orhtodox/ conservative leaning).
there is a 3rd slopey construct I thought:
“my taxes pay your salary”.
The protection of law is available even if she doesnt pay any taxes and is a net liability to the state.
thanks
Jai
In reply to Jai_C
Well, generally obscenity laws are invoked for dresses when specific genitalia etc are being shown. That’s quite broad and no country in the world (so far) allows that in all situations in public. There are specific places like nude beaches etc, but it’s not acceptable generally by even the most “liberal” minded individuals in the world.
As for taxes, perhaps I should have said “the taxes of the people pay your salary” instead. That would have been more precis, but less effective from a prose point of view :) Like I said, this is a semi humorous piece after all…