There are a bunch of posts on my blog that invite a lot of controversy. A lot of them have to do with debating right wing stuff. Surprisingly however, the most commented on post has nothing to do with India. It talks about my dislike for tipping as demanded in the United States. A few days back, that post crossed 1000 comments. The first to do so.
It’s a simple premise really. Waiters say they don’t get paid enough and so we should tip. I say it’s not my problem, that I’m not their boss, that they’re hired by the restaurant and my interaction is with the restaurant alone. I couldn’t care less about their woes. This doesn’t mean that I view serving as a menial job or that waiters are somehow “lesser” than any other profession. On the contrary, by treating them the same way I treat everyone else I’m showing my respect and regard for them.
This particular post of mine has been reproduced on waiter sites and pro tipping sites like ifyoucantaffordtotip.com and I’ve got legions of visitors from those sources lambasting me for cheating waiters etc. Some of them tried to “shame” me into removing the post. My picture and Facebook account etc are all freely available. As I wrote earlier, I don’t mind being abused and so use my real name while blogging. “Shaming me” is not going to work.
I wonder if any other post of mine is ever going to get the same amount of attention that this one got :)
I read your post and felt a need to respond. And if you feel the need to respond to my post, don’t bother because I won’t be back to read it. You are obviously not making any money as a writer, blogger, etc. if you post nonsense like this. It’s really too bad that you have an MBA and the only thing you are using it for is writing about how you don’t like tipping. How is that working out for you? Did you get more hits on your website? Did the article draw more traffic ? You have a shallow mind that lacks insight and an objective viewpoint. Why don’t you stop and take a good look at yourself? Let me guess, your a single middle aged man (and from your picture not good looking). I am not a waitress, nor am I in the restaurant industry. I am an educated 26 year old woman with her CPA who felt the need to make you feel like shit tonight. Do I feel good about this post? No, it actually makes me feel kind of bad about myself. However, I think people like you need to hear a from people like me. Keep your silly ideas to yourself and don’t write just so you can wait for people to come and vent about how frustrated they are with your words. You, my friend, need to do some soul searching.
In reply to Kristina Bozoarth
Sorry, but your not coming back to read doesn’t protect you from ridicule :)
If your aim was to “make me feel like shit” I’m afraid you’ve achieved the opposite. I love your outrage. I feed on it – I snort it up my nose and it really makes my day. So from the bottom of my heart….thank you!
Now for the ridicule. You haven’t provided even one logical reason for why waiters deserve an extra tip. Some might exist of course, but your only response is a complete ad hominem. It reflects on the paucity of your thought and the shallowness of your intellect that you had to construct a huge logical fallacy to say….nothing!
You’re most welcome to come back and “make me feel like shit” anytime. We both benefit. You get to rant, I get to see people like you sputter in outrage :)
In reply to bhagwad
Thank God you moved back to India. Good riddance you arrogant piece of shit. I wish you a life full of misery and pain.
In the United States servers are not paid the same as retail employees. A tipped wage and a minimum wage are different. It is not folded into the bill. It should be but it isn’t. It is not the employer that does this but the government. If you can’t afford to tip in this country, then you shouldn’t go to restaurants in this country. Sorry, man. But you and anyone else who refuses to tip are idiots who support the starvation of the younger generation through ordering food and not paying for it. The gratuity system is how food costs stay low. If you don’t tip your are taking advantage of low food cost and not making up for it elsewhere. The bill does not include the salaries of the waitstaff. Most servers make between 2 and 3 dollars an hour. Any charged tip is taxed automatically. Any cash tip is usually claimed at the end of the night. Then, the hourly payment or the paycheck has the taxes taken from it leaving the take home pay for hourly $0 or less. We are in a recession. Other careers are hard to find without leaving the city. I understand if you don’t have money to pay a tip but what I do not understand is why you go out to eat if you don’t have the money.
In reply to Robert Francis Curtis
See you keep coming back to reciting your woes about your low pay etc. Please tell me as a consumer why I should care about how much you get paid?
Alright well you don’t go complaining to anyone when you sit at a restaurant for an hour because no one will wait on you.
In reply to Macy
Hmm…I expect asking someone to do their job given to them by their employer is too much to ask these days…
Oh wait – if you don’t do your job your employer fires you! Don’t pretend that you’re doing me some kind of favor by giving me the basic service your job requires.
In reply to bhagwad
No employer would blame their server for not wanting to wait on the asshole that doesn’t tip. If you don’t want to tip, you can ask the govt. to change our wages. Otherwise, shut up and act like a human being. You’re not special. You’re not the one that common courtesy tipping doesn’t apply to. This is America. This is what we do. We tip. Don’t like it? Go back to wherever you came from. We don’t want you here.
In reply to Macy
Oh ho! Now I have to petition the government to change your wages! Lol. Talk about entitlement. It’s your problem, you solve it. Don’t come crying to me for help.
And by the way, servers have been fired for refusing to serve non tipping customers. The restaurant has a reputation to uphold.
And btw, what gives you the right to determine what is “American” and what is not hmmm?
In reply to bhagwad
The solution is for you to keep on not tipping but not have the gall to post about it like your word is some sort of magical thing that actually matters.
As for what gives them the right to determine what is American, it’s called consensus. In America, the consensus is that you leave a tip for wait staff when you are served. You can ignore that if you so choose, but if you have the audacity to post about it, understand that you will be shamed and ridiculed for it. Very few ever would have said a thing to you about it if you weren’t such an asshole about the whole thing.
Here in America, waiters are paid only $2.50 an hour (way below the minimum wage) and that’s why tipping an average of 20% is part of the custom/culture here. I’m not sure if you are aware of that. And in some restaurants, waiters are expected to give a portion of their tips to the busboys/hostess.
In reply to Lauren
Yes I’m quite aware of that. But I feel an employee’s wages are none of my business.
In reply to Lauren
Employers would never get away with that in Canada!
Tipping is the most incredible rip-off that has really gained momentum in the past 20-30 years or so. We have a whole generation of people who have grown up with tipping being viewed as an entitlement rather than the ‘gratuity’ that it originally started as decades ago. It used to be, if you went above and beyond to serve people, they would give you a little something as gratitude. Now it’s expected with a percentage tagged to it, 15 – 20%. It’s not just food service, it’s your hairdresser, dog washer, housekeeping at your hotel, the guy that takes your bags, garbage man, blah blah blah. Sickening really. Tipping is an excuse for employers to not pay their staff enough and use the consumer to supplement their income. I don’t tip bad service. Period. I leave very little for very little service. Period. We work hard for our money and ‘giving it away’ to a server who shouldn’t be getting it isn’t going to happen.
In reply to SAM
Um Tipping in American restaurants has been happening a lot longer than 30 years. I’m not going to shame anyone here. Bagwhad doesn’t feel it’s his job to tip then he won’t tip and his mind isn’t going to be changed by that. I’ve worked in the food service industry for about 20 years. I’m BOH or HOH mostly meaning most jobs I’ve been the guy who cooks the food. Depending on the market I get a job in I can make anywhere from 9.50 to 21.00 an hour, but like I said that’s due to what’s competitive in the market I apply for a job. Some rural area is going to pay a lot less to a cook than a big city because there are tons of restaurants in the city competing for workers and very few in the rural areas. Servers in these markets can work their asses off and make a lot of money depending on the time of season. I also work to-go and have heard from many people “All he does is bring the food out to the car” Well if that’s all you expect is your server to bring you your food, don’t complain when it’s cold, undercooked, or wrong. Servers do a lot more than just place a plate of food in front of your face. Especailly when you go in and order something off the menu and change what it is completely due to taking 90 percent of the items that it was designed with off.
People in the food service industry work hard to make sure you get what you want how you want it. Ignorance of this fact is to be expected. A good server is one that makes sure your experience goes so smoothly that you think they haven’t really done much. Other have suggested that Bagwhad get a job as a server for a month or two to see what it’s like. He won’t. America is the only country in the world where tipping is “expected” but people from other countries still tip. I’m not treating you like my friend when I treat you nicely when I greet you at the to-go station. I’m being a decent human being and being polite. Maybe being polite is something that goes against Indian culture. I’ve served a few who seem to always be on edge and ready to complain. I’m sorry your life makes you so aggrivated with other people, but life is short and you only get one go. Be happy.
Have a nice day.
Hello Mr. Bhagwad and “no-tipping” supporters,
You have created an interesting argument against American tipping etiquette and policies. I do not agree with your thoughts and opinion, but appreciate that you deliver them in a very educated and respectful manner. I myself was employed by a restaurant for 10 years. I enjoyed the atmosphere of the service industry because I am a very out-going and social person. I truly believe you have to be in order to be successful. As per your first point, although I was friendly with my customers I respected the fact that not everyone who sat in my section wanted me to hover their table. After all, the majority of people dining with friends or family members were there to enjoy the company of those with them, not mine. In those instances, I would give the tables their privacy and would only return when I saw a glass approaching half full or to deliver food and make sure the customers had everything they needed to enjoy their meal. I agree that it is unnecessary for servers to kneel at a table. It is actually something I take offense to as a patron of an establishment. Personally, I do not want someone in my face while taking my order. Therefore, I showed my customers the same respect. There are the rare times when it is necessary to bend down closer to understand some customers due to a loud environment or a customer who was hard to hear or understand, but those times were few and far between. Now, as far as your point about variety, I understand different restaurants offer a variety of culinary selection. It is nice to try something new or enjoy the occasional exotic cuisine. However, have you ever tried “take-out” instead of full-service dining? It eliminates the need for tipping, you fulfill your craving, and the server is able to fill their section with customers willing to tip appropriately. What I don’t think many people understand is that each server runs their own business (AKA section) within the business itself. The goal is to serve as many tables as possible within the time allotted and give each table the same level of exceptional service. By sitting in a servers section, you are taking up “real estate” that could otherwise be filled with someone else willing to tip. The second someone sits in a servers section, it is costing that servicer money to wait the table. A server must tip out food expediters/bar tenders/bussers/hostesses based on their total sales and NOT on the tips earned. At the restaurant I worked at it was a mandatory 5% of food sales and 2% of bar sales. Therefore, if I consistently earned 20% tips throughout the night, I would walk with only 13% of my overall sales at the end of the night. Now, if someone left me no tip on their check, I would still be required to tip out the 7% to the other staff members, effectively costing me money. Needless to say, someone should not go to work just to lose money. I know an argument can be made as to why this is the customers fault. My response to that is that it is not their fault. At the end of the day, if a servers tip+wages does not equal minimum wage, an employer is responsible for making up the difference. Tipping is an option and not a right. However, I just ask that you keep an open mind. If someone is making your life more convenient (be it carrying your bags to your hotel room, serving your food and delivering drinks, cutting your hair, delivering your mail) why not show your appreciation and gratitude through a tip?
P.S. I have never seen anyone spit in a customer’s food regardless of whether they knew the person was a horrible tipper! That is just gross and anyone who attempts such a thing needs to be fired immediately!
I liken tipping to any other cultural norm. When I go to another country, I am the rare traveler that does my best to learn the do’s and don’ts of that culture. For instance, when dining in Singapore, it is good to know that one should not tip more than a few dollars. This is for a few reasons. First, restaurant workers here earn a liveable salary and have other benefits included in their wage. Second, it can be taken as an insult if a patron over tips as it is seen as flaunting that you have more money that the server. This can also be true in parts of Europe. It is also good to note that both the Indian and Chinese cultures in Singapore generally (not always) prefer minimal service when dining out. Simply put, take my order and pay me out. If something is incorrect or doesn’t taste right, often the customer will not say anything and just will not return. This is common. If you’ve ever been to a small family owned Asian restaurant and had little to no service, they aren’t being rude. It’s how they grew up.
On the other hand, North America is a country that has a tip dependent restaurant industry. This is widely accepted as Americans also depend a higher level of service, not to mention hand holding and entertaining while eating. A good server knows when those last services are needed and when they are unnecessary. It is baffling when people visit America and are ignorant to the tipping norm…especially when many receipts have a simple reminder of customary percentages at the bottom of the receipt.
As for Americans that don’t agree with tipping for services, you are, in affect, stealing. If you don’t want to tip a pizza delivery person, go pick up your own pizza. This is a convenient service that is expectant of a tip and should only be used by those who appreciate such services. The same is said for dining in a restaurant. If you don’t want to tip appropriately for your server’s time, efficiency and skills, then you should not take up one of their money making tables. You can order take-out and eat at your own house, get your own drinks, refill your own water, make sure you have A-1 and keep that extra $$$ in your pocket. There are other options: fast food, cafes where you order at the counter (be sure to clean up your own mess if you don’t intend to leave a buck or two) or you could cook your own food. Each table is worth $20-$100 to each server every night. In theory, you are renting a space without paying the utilities.
As for skill set, I will agree that waiting tables is not rocket science. That said, a bad server can ruin an entire evening. Those who are great as service professionals have an amazing amount of talent that deserves to be rewarded. There is a never ending amount of wine knowledge, constantly changing menus and food items, new drink trends, multiple cooking techniques to be familiar with and continued service standards training involved. No, most Denny’s servers don’t spend much time on any of this. Higher end servers spend many hours of their own time honing their skills and keeping up on new information.
Knowing all of this, if you still decide to take up a money making seat intending to not tip or tip very little, have enough balls to tell the server up front that you require very little service, will not be needing any drink refills and will not be tipping. Don’t let them waste their time hoping for a customary outcome. Let them divert that time and attention to other deserving patrons.
In reply to WSAnonymous
This comment. A hundred times, this comment!
I actually just got off of a shift waiting tables. It is hard work made harder by inconsiderate, demanding customers. I pride myself on the job that I do, but I do not enjoy what I do. I enjoy it even less when I don’t get paid for it. A guest knows when they enter a restaurant that provides full service that the waiter is not making minimum wage and that tips make the difference. If even knowing this, a guest feels that they do not have to tip and have already decided not to tip, I think it only fair that the guest informs the server up front that the server will be paying for part of their meal. Because while guests are not required to tip, servers are required to tip. We must tip the bartenders, busboys, and food runners. And like at any other type of business, I think the guest should get what they pay for. Do you want the basic service that the employer pays us to do or do you want the gold standard? Let us know up front and we will be happy to oblige. Just like at McDonalds where you don’t tip, I will take your order and bring your food. If you want a refill, bring your empty glass to me, and I will fill it. If you need condiments, come to the server stand, and I will hand you your condiments with a smile on my face. However, if you want to be able to sit and have everything brought to you, pay for it. Don’t take advantage of people. If you want to pay the bare minimum, expect the bare minimum. P.S. I have never seen anyone spit in food and if I did, I would not allow that to be served and would make sure that management is made aware of the situation. See, I have this thing called integrity which is doing the right thing even when you don’t have to.
In reply to David
Another fantastic post!
In reply to David
Touche, David!
Although I don’t believe in tipping, I admire your honest post and integrity. Actually, I’d tip you and well at that. Just not others who’re not like you. I prefer someone like you rather than some sweet-talking faker.
Please humor me and do some research on “tipping’ tell us about from your point of view.
We are not shaming you.. you have to wake up and look at your own ugly face every morning and know that you are pathetic .. THAT IS SHAME ENOUGH
and clearly you have no problem being this philistine who fell out of a freakin coconut tree and was lucky enough not live in his own filthy village who clearly lacks attention, was neglected as a child and probably has an extremely small and smelly penis that not even a dirty diseased prostitute whore would touch with a ten foot pole. That’s why in your own culture 5 people raped an innocent girl, pulled her intestines out and left her to die.. this tell a lot about who are where you come from and how you see other humans .. as garbage..
You are a piece crap excuse as a human Bhagwan Jal <—< btw: nice name douche hole
You Should be hogtied and beat like a piñata just for fun.. Because it's not the problem of the USA that you are an ignorant excuse of a man, which makes me cringe to even call you a man..
You are so attention deprived that you need to belittle others to make yourself feel good about being alive still. Don't worry God has something really wonderful in store for you.