Why Your Reasons for Demanding a Tip are Wrong

Waiters are understandably upset about why I don’t tip and have given many illogical reasons in support of this ridiculous practice. Here’s a rebuttal of the most common ones.

Bullshit 1: We only Pay for the Food. Service is Extra

The menu price doesn’t include just the cost of preparing the food and paying the chef. It includes the restaurant setting, the tables, the cutlery, the effort and investment that the restaurant owner has put into the dining area. Now guess what? Since I’m paying for it, the restaurant has to give it to me. And how do they accomplish this?

Waiters. Ding ding!

See without waiters, the restaurant has no way of delivering the dining experience to me that I’m paying for. I’m paying for sitting down in a nice place. I’m paying for the air conditioning. I’m paying for the nice tablecloth and for my food to be delivered to me in a reasonable time. The menu price covers all this. Waiters are just the restaurant’s way of bringing me my food. Of fulfilling their part of the contractual obligation.

Bottom line. Servers are not independent contractors. They’re not an “extra” that you have to pay for. By hook or crook, the restaurant needs to deliver the product. Whether they use waiters or conveyor belts (a term that many seem to object to), is not my business. I don’t care. The waiters can just melt into the background and let me enjoy my food in peace. If the menu includes free refills or whatever, then waiters are required to deliver that as well. Why? Because…wait for it….I paid for it!

Bullshit 2: It’s the custom. It’s ‘merica!

Yeah right. You do realize that not all customs are created equal don’t you? Slavery was a “custom” back in the day and so was race and sexual discrimination. Anyone with an ounce of integrity does what they feel is right. There are many harmless customs in the world like bowing instead of shaking hands, or using chopsticks instead of forks etc that are morally neutral. It really makes no difference if you follow them or not.

But tipping? Hell no! It’s not morally neutral. If you get better service because you’re a good tipper, then you’re essentially paying a bribe to servers to get them to do their job properly next time. All customs have a limit. And tipping is such a convenient custom isn’t it? Hell, I wish I had a custom in place for people to just throw money at me.

And just in case someone feels I don’t appreciate the US, there are many great things about this country that I love and I’ve blogged about repeatedly. Freedom of expression, the way Americans show respect to their armed forces, the politeness of people as you walk by on the road, the work culture, the individuality.

I just don’t like tipping. It’s not as if a person has to blindly accept everything in a country without judgment. There are good things. And there are bad things. Just like everywhere else.

Bullshit 3: The cost of food will increase dramatically

Someone needs to do basic math. Increasing the price of food to pay minimum wage to waiters will not double the price of food. Some have even gone so far to claim that it’ll increase 4-5 times. Ridiculous. Totally, utterly ridiculous. Let’s dissect this rubbish.

As an example, I’ll take Chili’s. A waitress at Chili’s was so kind as to comment saying that the price of food at her restaurant will increase by 3 times – $30 for a $10 burger. Using the statistics she herself gave in her comment, there are 12 waiters (at full capacity) who need to be paid minimum wage. That’s $5 extra per hour per waiter making it a net total of $60 per hour that has to be added to the price of food on a full day.

$60/hr? For 12 waiters. That’s it! It’s peanuts. If you assume even that each waiter is serving just four tables. That’s $5 an hour extra they have to make from four tables. Even if we say that each table sits for a massive two hours, the extra paid per table is way less than $5. On the total bill. Worst, worst case scenario.

You know what? Customers won’t even notice. So stop the garbage about the prices of food going up several times to pay minimum wage. It’s utter nonsense. The only reason waiters don’t want this system in place is because they earn a hell of a lot more than than minimum wage using our tips. And they come across as the victims.

Waiters are Struggling Mothers/Students

Look, it’s not as if I don’t have sympathy for those who struggle in life. I just don’t think it’s my problem. And I specially don’t like it being impinged upon me. Generosity is one thing. Having money demanded from you is something totally else. Any tip I give is out of the generosity of my heart and I expect some gratitude for helping those in need. It’s not something I have to do since…refer to Myth 1.

Bottom line: Socially mandated tipping is a scam. I can’t believe how intelligent people have been hoodwinked into it. Probably because they like to come across as “nice” people and feel sorry for servers who hover around looking expectantly. Well, I find that irritating and I won’t buy into it.

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868 thoughts on “Why Your Reasons for Demanding a Tip are Wrong”

  1. Interesting. I am from a country where tipping is not the norm, nor expected. And frankly, I don’t like it. However, my understanding of ‘Merica, is that waiters are not paid sufficiently. The law allows for restaurants to underpay their waiters, with the expectation that they will make it up with tips. (Also, being a waiter is a really shitty job.)

    I’m since come to the conclusion that the best way to do it, is to include a service fee of ~10%. This would be paid by the customer, and delivered to the till. Except, at the end of the day, it is divided amongst all the staff (with none of it going to the restaurant).

    Service fees (though whether they are implemented as above, or not, I don’t know) are quite common in some countries (particularly in Europe).

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      • In reply to Cliff

        Its not about kindness, its about transparency. Keeping everything in a society transparent is extremely important to combat corruption. And restaurant owners being allowed to underpay their staff is within that area IMO.

        As it is today, the tipping culture is just an attempt at medicating the symptom, not curing the decease.

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    • In reply to Dude

      Some restaurants in India charge a flat 5% service charge. Not service tax….service charge. When I see that I do not leave a tip.

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    • In reply to Red

      Do some research, this guys thinking is completely distorted. Read peoples comments here. Don’t let yourself succumb to his selfish entitled ways. Don’t become a born-again asshole. Do it for yourself, do it for the world.

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    • In reply to Red

      A service fee is for services rendered. A tip is not mandatory, however in a service industry in the united states, it is expected that a tipped employee is given a gratuity based on the services provided. There is a difference in a full service establishment and a partial service establishment. Yes, a company could put a flat 10% service charge, then people would complain they had to pay this fee when they received poor service. They would fight that it shouldn’t be included for bad service. It is a no win situation. Yes, employers should be required to pay minimum wage, but are not. Grutity should be additional given to the server for going above and beyond to make your dining experience the most enjoyable possible. This should be up to the guest. Until laws change this is not the case. The fact is we all know a standard tip is %15 and should include that when we consider what and where eating the same as we do paying a sales tax. If the server goes above and beyond we should include more. Period. Whether we like it or not this is how the service industry has worked in this country for years. It is not an easy job. It is mentally and physically draining. If you don’t think walking for 7-14 hours straight while carrying 30# trays is exhausting you’ve never tried it. We do this while smiling and pretending everything is wonderful despite the fact that we just got our asses chewed because our establishment doesn’t provide a large gluten free menu, or because we carry coke instead of Pepsi. We take the brunt end of all guest complaints and smile and apologize for being inadequate. We’re not idiots. We deal with a constantly changing menu and are expected to know everything about it, from whether not we use canola or vegetable oil and whether our salmon in wild caught or farmed. We have to know about chemicals, food safety, what temps everything is kept at and what specific allergens are to keep our guests safe. What people fail to realize is that being a good server goes far beyond simply entering and order and delivering food. And next time you decide not to tip keep in mind your server just paid for you to eat. We tip other employees based on sales, not our tips. So if you come in and spend $100 and stiff your server they’re paying on average $2 out of their tips to bussers and bartenders. You’re literally taking money out of their pockets. And no, being a server doesn’t mean one is not educated. Unfortunately, some of us spent thousands on college to land in a bad economy where the “good” jobs don’t pay enough anymore to support a family. Because I am very good at my job and my guests generally follow social customs I make more doing this than running an office or being a book keeper. Does the fact that I make enough to survive mean you shouldn’t have to tip. Absolutely not. If all were as ignorant to the service industry as most who decide not to tip, there would be no full service establishments because no one would do it for free.

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      • In reply to justanother server

        You say employers are not required to pay the minimum wage. That’s not true. If nobody tips the tipped employees, then the employer is still required to make sure everyone makes at least minimum wage. That’s the law. In a growing number of states the employer must pay the entire minimum wage regardless of how much the tipped employee receives as tips.

        Also, how a server keeps or shares his or her tips is none of my business and cannot possibly be a factor in whether I feel you “deserve” a tip for doing the job you were hired to do. Yes, if you do it well, you might get a bit extra as a gift. But like any other gift, it is presumptuous to expect it.

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  2. Dude, this makes the second or third time you’ve voiced your opinion about tipping. I get it–don’t agree with it,but it’s your right not to tip.But now you’re beginning to sound like every time you go into a restaurant ,the waiters are holding you hostage or a gun to your head making you tip. You sound bitter.Thankfully most people do care and you say not my problem.Ok ,time to move on don’t you think.Some people have to make a living honestly.If this bothers you so much,why go to these places.I think you’re spinning your wheels on this one,sir.Also all waiters are not money demanding and some enjoy doing their jobs to make customers feel good.Just sayin we all don’t feel entitle to your wallet, don’t expect huge tips from you and just want to pay our bills and to be treated with respect as we give to our customers.Try walking in our shoes for a minute,that’s all. Thanx for listening

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  3. Perhaps while you are hiding anonymously behind a computer, you should grow some balls and man up. Stop being a bitch and print your name, photo, and location for all to see. If you are not ashamed of the hate you are spreading, then OWN THAT HATE! Some points may have little validity, such as restaurants should pay more. Sure, I don’t disagree. But they don’t. So don’t make servers suffer because of that. It wasn’t there idea to design the system that way. And besides, thankfully most people aren’t douche bags like you and are quite generous. MOST good servers make well above minimum wage because most people tip unlike you. So if server pay went to a restaurant paid minimum wage, then perhaps food cost wouldn’t skyrocket but service would decline. I’m a server who averages $15-18 an hour from tips. You tell me I’m capped at $7.25, I tell you I quit. I’m a good server and I think most servers would quit if cut their pay in half. Should we be grateful for any tip? Yes. You should also be grateful for good service and show that appreciation instead of being a self centered prick.

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  4. Here’s what I don’t see any one pointing out if a server or any employee that works for tips does not equal minimum wage with there tips then the employer has to make the difference to minimum wage. So if you don’t want to tip you don’t have to, now as far as a waiter not being part of the experience well then my friend you obliviously have never gone to a reasturant and experienced what a true experience at a reasturant is with an outstanding waiter/waitress

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    • In reply to A

      You are right. The employer is responsible to make up the difference. The fine print to that is that that difference is not decided on a nightly basis. It is evaluated at the end of each pay period whether or not the tips made versus the hours worked equal out. and 99% of the time they do. if they don’t then you’re at the wrong restaurant. Not to mention the way this system is set up makes it incredibly difficult if not impossible for us as servers to calculate after we tip-out what we actually made per hour. and the employer again benefits from our difficulties. Server life… smh

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      • In reply to Tim Morgan

        You’re required to keep daily records of your tips. If your employer is using a tip credit to offset some of their obligation to make sure you get at least minimum wage, that’s between you and them. For all we know, you’re a salaried employee making $89,900 a year, plus tips. No idea. Couldn’t care less.

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  5. If the writer of this article (who I have let to find a name) is proud of this opinion and believes so strongly that he/she is correct, they should announce said opinion when they sit down and before the server has a chance to “pretend” to be their friend. I guarantee the attitude would change. The product is guaranteed in the price of the tab, but the service, friendliness, and necessity is not. When you have a house built, you also have to pay for labor, not just the lumber and materials. When you get your car fixed, you have to pay for the service? Who works just to have the parts paid for, as in, who can afford to work for free? It really makes me sad to read that even one person had been swayed by this cold, self-righteous, condescending jerk who has clearly never ” humbled” himself enough to work a service industry job. Congratulations buddy, I don’t know how you have figured out how to get that pedestal you live on down under that rock you must live under.

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    • In reply to Amber

      When you build a house you pay a contractor, who then buys the lumber and pays his help out of the fee you are charged. When you have your car fixed you are given a quote which contains all extra fees and explains why you are charge each fee. While I do tip, I understand where the author is coming from. If you go to the doctors office do you tip the nurses, receptionist, and office manager? No because it is all added into the price. When you shop at old navy do you tip the person who helped you try on 47 pairs of pants, No. Also, why is everyone on the walk a mile in their shoes kick? You don’t know what the author does to make his money. So don’t judge him on his views because it cuts into the waitstaffs profit margin. The great thing about our country is if you don’t like your job…quit, that door didn’t lock behind you when you walked in. Find another one that pays more. If there isn’t a job that pays more, well I guess you will have to tough it out until there is one.

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  6. I hope your post goes viral. I’m sure there are people who will agree with you, but most will not. When you make such polarizing statements, you should be prepared to accept the subsequent fallout. I hope you see a loss of work in your consulting business as a result. Since you put monetary solidarity behind your disbelief in tipping, it is only fair that others put monetary solidarity in their belief not to support such pigheaded contractors.

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    • In reply to Josh

      I am a bartender/ server of 8, almost 9, years. 75% of the people I know also are, as is a good majority of those that they know. I’ve already taken it upon myself to post his name, article, blog site, Google plus profile, Facebook profile, and his picture to not only my own page asking people to share it to every social network people frequent, but also to Facebook’s “Server rants” and “Bartender rants” pages asking the same. I am in the process of posting it on various other pages. I am unaware of how many shares his picture has, but any help in making this go viral and making this selfish pathetic excuse for a human being regret stepping foot into any full service restaurant would be appreciated. Please vistit said pages, find my posts, share it. He wants to use the internet to share his opinion… I want to use it for him to meet his demise.

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      • In reply to Tim Morgan

        You, as a server, expecting a tip are a socialist tool. You believe that because I have enough money to pay for a meal at the price in the menu, that I should also subsidize the merchant’s payroll by paying the servers a tip. This ignores the fact that I already paid for the service in the menu price, not to mention that it’s really not my job to negotiate your salary with your employer. If you believe you’re worth more than minimum wage, please feel free to have that conversation with your boss.

        As for your little conspiracy to make someone regret “stepping foot into any full service restaurant”, that’s just further indication that you’re a sociopath. If you don’t serve him EXACTLY the way you would anyone else, you can be immediately fired on the spot for failing to do your job. Because entry-level servers are a dime a dozen, nobody will miss you.

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  7. While I’m sure in your own self centered head, you feel as though minimum wage is “good enough” for the “unskilled” job of a server, you my friend are far from right. I challenge you to work as a server for one month, then come back and tell us how you feel.
    First of all in the service industry one hour to the next are not equal, honestly a one minute to the next is not equal. Secondly saying it takes no skill is an assumption that cannot be made by someone who has never worked as a server, it takes skill, trust me. Think of it as being obligated to make 20 people happy all at once in the span of 45 minutes, then do it all over again as soon as the tables clear. It’s not easy. Lastly as you say you are offended by the servers attempt to break through your hard exterior into the soft soul everyone has, by being friendly!? Have you ever thought that maybe (just maybe) some people enjoy being friendly and interacting with all types of people including (especially?) their customers? I’m one of those people and for you to say that it’s fake is offensive to genuinely friendly people.
    One thing you seem to have forgotten while degrading American servers, is that you don’t have to go in and sit to be served. Everywhere offers take out, where you can call and order your food, walk in, pick it up, and take it home to eat all alone in your dungeon where you seem to be happy without the hassle of (gasp) a friendly server to bring you more lemons, napkins, and who will be in the kitchen yelling for the cooks to get your food out because you’ve waited long enough.
    Tip, don’t tip, I don’t care, but if you think your reasons for not tipping at all are justified, you need therapy, and a hug.

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