Indian parents need to learn to discipline their kids and prevent them from making a nuisance of themselves in public spaces. Compared to the other children I see around me in the US, kids here are generally well mannered and if they raise a ruckus, the parents are embarrassed and make them keep quiet. Or they remove the child from the area. Why can't we do the same?

Indian parents need to learn to discipline their kids and prevent them from making a nuisance of themselves in public spaces. Compared to the other children I see around me in the US, kids here are generally well mannered and if they raise a ruckus, the parents are embarrassed and make them keep quiet. Or they remove the child from the area. Why can't we do the same?

Dear Indian Parents: Control your Annoying Kids

Disclaimer: This is merely a trend I’ve noticed with Indian parents and their kids. Obviously there will be exceptions. Keep that in mind before leaping on me!

Recently, Anupa and I decided that it’s been a long time since we had Indian food. In particular, I had a hankering for dosas. Luckily for us, there’s a place called “Dosa Hut” just a few minutes drive from our place. I thought it was okay – spacious, good dosas, and a buffet for those so inclined. But one thing ruined all of that.

Noisy, bratty, kids.

Normally in India I wouldn’t notice this, because they’re everywhere. But after staying a while in the US, it’s particularly jarring when I visit an Indian establishment. Children are everywhere in the US, but they’re hardly ever noisy. The few times when it happens, people get pissed off. Remember – your kid is not my problem. If they’re making a racket, please get them out of the restaurant by force if you have to.

There was this horror in Dosa Hut who kept running up and down the place screaming his lungs off. The parents were nowhere to be seen. Towards the end he came and lay down flat in my seat while I’d gone to get some napkins. I had to manually push him off.

What kind of parent doesn’t bother about whether or not their kid is inconveniencing others? Raising children is not some community project. There is a reason why you are parents and I’m not. Oh, you say he’s just a kid? Well he’s your kid, not mine. Ergo, your headache.

But here’s a twist and I’m not sure what to make of it. These same parents would never let their kid run wild in an American restaurant! I’ve never seen an Indian kid wreak havoc in a Chick-fil-A or a Dunkin Donuts. I wonder why? Can it be because they know it’s a wrong thing to do and that only Indian customers will “put up with it” and that they can’t be bothered to reign in the apple of their eye?

We see this same class of behavior when people return to India and start throwing rubbish on the streets. They would never do it abroad – they know it’s wrong. But they also expect other Indians to tolerate their bad behavior and this enables them. In other words, they are little more than children themselves.

So remember that while you may be immune to your little darling making a racket, the rest of don’t have to tolerate it. If you can’t control your child running wild, leave them at home and don’t spoil it for others.

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Comments

  1. Im an American and i love Indian culture especially the food. However, I do have a problem with this issue about undisciplined Indian children,in particular the boys. Now, i just put in my browser “undisciplined Indian children,” and this came site came up. If were not an Indian who runs it i would never have added my thoughts. But i was surprised to see the candid expressions here.
    Most adult Indian people I know are the hardest working, principled people I know. In fact, Imo, the best doctor on the planet is Sapna K. at Vanderbilt.
    Just last night we went to see the new Jungle Book movie. Took eight of us in my family with two children.
    But the large Indian group of mostly adults were the most disruptive ive seen in years. The adults had to constantly be using their phones which lit up so bright. Absolutely inconsiderate. And the little boy was running everywhere with his parents nor the four other adults doing anything about it.
    There was an elderly woman who obviously had a very difficult time just getting to the theater, was so disappointed.
    Now ive observed this as a trend in the boys only. It seems they have freedom to do as they want. In fact, at my favorite Indian restaurant, Sitar, the little boys are terrors. Their fathers ignor their raucus behaviour while their mothers passive approach almost inspires the kid to do worse.
    Cant go on but thank you for this candid site

    Reply

    • In reply to Charlie

      It’s a common problem in India. Kids are given a free reign. That’s one thing I’ve noticed in the US though – kids are extremely well behaved (comparatively) here!

      Reply

      • In reply to bhagwad

        Well there is a world wide, not just one group, problem with parents not guiding their kids.
        I have two kids ive raised using scriptural principles. Son is 16 and daughter is 14. They thank me and respect the discipline if i show them what rhe Creator fells on matters. All religions/Holy Books im aware of encourage parental love and guidance. If we raise our kids to use sound judgement based on scriptural principles the results are better. But its a job that takes commitment and sacrifice. Few people are willing to make the effort. And then wonder why their children grow up to be menaces to society. With all the PC and rejection of traditional values( no matter what our culture is) who know what the world will be like in a decade.

        Reply

      • Rational thought says:

        In reply to Charlie

        So do you teach your little girl that she “mustn’t speak” in church? Because that’s in your book too. Have you informed her that when she gives birth to her future children, she will be deemed “unclean” during that period (as well as when she is menstruating)? Picking the “good” things out of a book and forgetting about the bad- which there is a LOT of, is *you* deciding what is good and what is not. Since you already have that inner compass telling you what is good, why do you need the book?

        Religious books have kept women oppressed and under the finger of men for thousands of years.

        I prefer to teach my daughter to be a good, kind, compassionate human being because ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, And *everyone* benefits when we treat each other with care and respect….. Not because she’s following the teachings of a contradictory disproven book, or because she’s afraid of an invisible, unproven, narcissistic “god”.

        I beg of you to stop instilling fear in your children. You can raise kids with hearts of gold, who do things for the right reasons without ancient religious books. It makes me sad to think that kids out there are being “good” because they’re afraid of what might happen to them if they’re not (hell is terrifying for an adult, what must kids think of it?).

        Reply

      • In reply to Charlie

        I’m not a religious person but I completely agree with you. Children with faith are much more respectful, kind and empathetic.

        Reply

    • In reply to Charlie

      Cancel your White guilt nonsense. You try to hard to find some praise for Indians. Why? You decided some Indian doctor was good to assuage your guilt. Look at that Gupta clown. Indians are consummate liars.

      Reply

    • In reply to Charlie

      Its really sad that you have to add a huge disclaimer with glowing praise for Indians, before you mention your observations. I am Indian and I have noticed more noisy Indian children than American ones (i.e. second gen Indian Americans and everyone else), in different establishments in the US. I guess its a cultural thing. Some Indian parents wrongly assume that its acceptable because kids are not mature and/or because its generally tolerated in India. A few Indian parents on the other hand, teach their kids to behave respectfully. I wonder what do most American parents or American schools do differently to make their kids more respectful of others. We should try to learn that from them.

      Reply

  2. I live in Singapore, I am European, I do not have kids, and I have to say I have observed the same phenomenon here. When I hear a kid unleashing hell in a public place, 4 times out of 5 it turns out to be an Indian kid, and the parents are just few inches/feet away and do not even seem to notice the scene. Noisy, bratty kids, you put it perfectly. Having talked with a few Indian expats living here, the parents of those obnoxious kids were often “privileged” environment, with servants, and being all spoiled, themselves being turned into little brat/tyrans , unfortunately I can see a pattern here, it is like a legacy passed from one generation to the next one..

    Reply

    • In reply to David

      Had exactly the same experience in Singapore and on flights. Indian parents don’t give a s..t about their misbehaving brats. Many Indians act like the world owes them, the most arrogant bunch ever.

      Reply

      • Christine says:

        In reply to paul

        I am a Singaporean living in the U.S., and I have to agree with the comments about obnoxious Indian children. And yes, particularly the males. My current neighbors are Indians. Both children are very ill-disciplined, constant running and jumping. They’ll slam the door in and out of the apartment – or even if they’re not going out. It’s insane! The son looks at me like he wants to pick a fight, and I am a petite woman. There is not a day I can get peace of mind. The parents are in a world of their own – could care less about teaching their kids to be respectful of others.

        Reply

  3. Megan S says:

    I’m a nanny for an Indian family. Theyare very respectful and considerate of me . However the four year old is a brat. She won’t listen to anybody, and the parents reward her for acting badly. They offer her chocolate to stop screaming and throwing a fit, and cartoons to eat her dinner. I am the only consistent one in the household, and it’s ridiculous.

    Reply

  4. I’ve seen the same exact problem EVERY SINGLE DAY at the restaurant I worked at (rhymes with wallet jargon). Indian children seemingly have zero discipline or understanding of the concept of order. Over and over, it was the same trope with the parents: The father was usually this weird sort of man-child entity….totally-detached, almost always disheveled/poorly dressed, emasculated posture. The wives were usually smug as hell, naggy, and needy…always the endless barrage of trite questions/requests. People, there’s a reason why stereotypes exist. We all hate referring to them, but they aren’t figments of our imaginations. If you can’t be bothered with changing your annoying behavior in public, be prepared to suffer the insults. ‘Merica.

    But I swear–with Indian kids, its like clockwork–before the family can even sit in the booth, the kid(s) snatch at everything; they immediately snatch the game/ordering tablet or they’ll snatch at the kids menu out in your hand, they’ll snatch the menu and crayons away from their sibling etc. And their loudness…..The random screaming works your nerves. Thank God I’m not a server, because I’ve heard about their legendary aversion to tipping.

    Reply

  5. Mick you are the MAN!

    I’m so glad someone has the guts to speak up about this. I’m generally pretty fond of Indians (there’s a lot in Australia) but they have ZERO parental control. Time an time again I see the same annoying bulls**t – Kids run wild and NO control from the parents. Drives me insane.

    Reply

  6. Wow! Thsee comments are very interesting and we now know something new. We recently had t he misfortune to have a totally terrible experience while trying to enjoy a peaceful breakfast only to have it ruined by an Indian family who let their bratty child scream throughout the entire time. We’re talking ear piercing screams for no reason at all
    We could only wish the management would have asked them to leave.

    Reply

  7. Anuja khulbe says:

    Are there any parents here who can recommend some books how to teach your child to behave properly outside his home? I have a son who is 21 months old , when we go out he usually is quiet but sometimes makes shrilling noise which is unbearable..how do you handle your kids ?it would be good to know since for me as an indian its normal to see kids making some scene however i would want him to be as well mannered as the white kids ..the problem is with our upbringing,what is inappropriate for you is sometimes normal and acceptable for us.your suggestions about books will be appreciated.i reached this blog while looking for books only .

    Reply

  8. Western Point of View says:

    Is it a cultural thing? Let me ask, many whites complain that Blacks are too loud. Are blacks supposed to change how they are? I mean, same principle, right?

    BTW, leave my kid at home? How, do you have the childcare dollars you can pay me?

    The annoying kid isn’t my problem. Deal with it :)

    Reply

  9. FINALLY. I was worried I wouldn’t find anything like this. I grew up in Canada, and my parents, especially my mother, taught us to clean up. My dad and some of my good teachers I looked up to taught me how to be good. I’m in college now, and I’m roommates with about 5 or 6 Indian boys at a housing and almost all of them, they’re fucking disrespectful, annoying, the most laziest bunch, dirty, but I’m pretty sure it’s a common thing with these types of people. Heck when I used to be dragged to a certain place for prayer as a kid, I would notice 1) the boys there were SHIT, no manners and 2) the parents just let them do what they want. It’s like you can expect brown parents to be the worst at parenting.

    Reply

  10. FUCK SAND NIGGER HINDUS,

    HINDU SAND NIGGERS ARE THE WORST annoying motherF’ers on the planet. Fuck these useless brain degenerate piece of shiit.

    Reply

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