{"id":3323,"date":"2011-12-16T10:19:49","date_gmt":"2011-12-16T04:49:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/?p=3323"},"modified":"2011-12-16T10:21:53","modified_gmt":"2011-12-16T04:51:53","slug":"how-long-do-you-hold-on-to-a-grudge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2011\/personal\/how-long-do-you-hold-on-to-a-grudge.html\/","title":{"rendered":"How Long do you Hold on to a Grudge?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was reading an article the other day titled something like <em>&#8220;Why you should hold onto a grudge&#8221;<\/em>. Apparently the author&#8217;s point was that sometimes holding onto\u00a0rancor\u00a0is beneficial. Why? Because forgiving someone too easily, encourages them to make the same mistake again. It cited empirical data which showed that something like half of those who were readily forgiven repeated the very same behavior a short time later.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3324\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3324\" style=\"width: 259px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3324\" title=\"How long can you keep this up?\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/How-long-can-you-keep-this-up.jpg\" alt=\"How long can you keep this up?\" width=\"269\" height=\"202\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/How-long-can-you-keep-this-up.jpg 269w, https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/How-long-can-you-keep-this-up-150x112.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 269px) 100vw, 269px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3324\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">How long can you keep this up?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Conclusion? Hold on to those hateful feelings!<\/p>\n<p>Now I don&#8217;t know about you, but I find it very emotionally stressful to continue holding resentment close to my heart. The number of times my wife and I have fought, would be enough \u2013 if I were to so choose \u2013 to fuel a lifetime of grudges. Instead, I find the &#8220;forgive and forget&#8221; attitude much more beneficial. However, it is <em>indeed<\/em> true that sometimes I would have benefited had not forgiven so easily. In fact, this attitude of mine puts me at a great disadvantage! I&#8217;ve often felt that such battles are won by the person who has the greater capacity for holding onto their anger.<\/p>\n<p>What does this mean? Does it indicate a weak sense of will on my part? Perhaps it merely indicates that I&#8217;m unwilling to put up with discomfort for a prolonged period of time and that I find my peace of mind too valuable to waste. Whatever the practical disadvantages, I feel that the state of mind which exists in a person who easily forgives is in general more relaxed than a person who does not.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes however, I <em>can<\/em> hold a grudge by forgetting about the other person entirely. As long as they don&#8217;t come near me, have contact with me, or affect my life in any way, I can just wipe them out of my private existence. But being constantly exposed to such individuals is extremely taxing on my physiology.<\/p>\n<p>My blood pressure rises, I can almost feel my adrenaline glands pumping out their enervating essences, my heart rate increases, and my breathing is uneven. This isn&#8217;t a state which can continue for long, and I don&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s healthy either. How fortunate for me therefore, that I&#8217;m able to live a lifestyle where I have almost <em>complete<\/em> control over whom I meet and choose to interact with! It means that my primary task is to maintain a state of harmony with my wife. Everyone else is inconsequential.<\/p>\n<p>I crave a peaceful life. Not everyone does. I must be one of the few persons in this world who is living a life almost in complete harmony with their character. But what about others? How do they handle the necessity of exposing themselves to people whom they dislike, or hold a grudge against? Perhaps they&#8217;re able to &#8220;box away&#8221; their feelings when the time comes to interact with these people. <em>Some<\/em> survival mechanism is surely necessary. Or perhaps it&#8217;s just not too much of a big deal for most. Maybe I&#8217;m just overly sensitive.<\/p>\n<p>Either way, I&#8217;m pretty grateful for the way things are :) . What about you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I find it difficult to hold on to a grudge. Resentment doesn&#8217;t sit well with me and I can&#8217;t live like that for long. How do others manage?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3324,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How Long do you Hold on to a Grudge?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I find it difficult to hold on to a grudge. Resentment doesn&#039;t sit well with me and I can&#039;t live like that for long. 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