{"id":3684,"date":"2013-09-24T10:30:57","date_gmt":"2013-09-24T05:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/?p=3684"},"modified":"2013-09-24T08:53:00","modified_gmt":"2013-09-24T03:23:00","slug":"im-born-i-fidget-i-die","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Born, I Fidget, I Die"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m coming to the conclusion that permanent happiness is an impossibility. Even if I were god, I don’t think I could be completely at peace. Boredom would set in with nothing to strive for. All I’ve managed so far is to get fleeting moments of bliss. Sometimes lasting for several minutes until I get restless and tired of it. Even constant peace is irritating. Enjoying the scenery and going for a walk can only do so much. I don’t know how unique or typical I am. I just know that for me, the only end in sight is death. Till then, it’s pretty much a relentless background buzz of discontent. And this is from a person who has to work less than most on the planet and who is probably one of the luckiest individuals in existence!<\/p>\n

Does this say something about me specifically or about humanity in general? Sometimes I wish to live forever. At other times, it’s just tiring. Nothing before or after life. Non existence stretching out to infinity at both ends. I think of it like this:<\/p>\n

\"\"
Nothingness at both ends with a bit of restlessness in between<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

All I can realistically wish for is to somehow muddle through until I reach the other side of nothingness. Hopefully not painfully (especially towards the end) and without making too big a hassle of it. Most of the time maybe I can sort of forget about this state of affairs. It’s not that I have any specific wish or desire that’s not being fulfilled. It’s the nature of existence.<\/p>\n

If it’s not just me, then it’s a curse of humankind. Only humans ask questions like “What should I do?” All other animals seem to have no doubts about their activities. If they’re full and have no other drives, they kind of sit down and relax. Or play for brief periods. I feel playful too now and then, but unlike animals I’m cursed with knowledge of the future. And the present can sometimes be so boring that I take refuge in books, video games<\/a>, and the Internet in general. Anything to distract me from the mundane, the banal, the restless.<\/p>\n

I’ve worked in high stress environments before. Retail, and the exhibition industry. And they’re awesome distractions giving you no time to ponder over life in general. And at night you’re too tired to do anything but sleep. But underneath all that just waiting to bubble up are fear of death, boredom, questions about our “purpose” etc. And while we make our own purpose in life, it is by definition relative. Nothing is absolute. It’s tiring to be the god of your own life. No wonder it’s so easy to outsource that role to a third party!<\/p>\n

It doesn’t mean I’m always bored or depressed. But whenever I’m not, it means I’ve found a good distraction. At least for a while.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nothingness stretches out to infinity in both directions – before I’m born and after my death. With some restless fidgeting in between.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"yoast_head":"\nI'm Born, I Fidget, I Die<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I'm Born, I Fidget, I Die\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nothingness stretches out to infinity in both directions - before I'm born and after my death. With some restless fidgeting in between.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Expressions - Bhagwad Jal Park\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-09-24T05:00:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-STWusbDauaw\/Uj34_uOgxVI\/AAAAAAAADTc\/6A-REsriQwA\/w479-h288-no\/Life.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"bhagwad\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@bhagwad\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@bhagwad\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"bhagwad\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"bhagwad\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23\"},\"headline\":\"I’m Born, I Fidget, I Die\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-09-24T05:00:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":516,\"commentCount\":13,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\\\/-STWusbDauaw\\\/Uj34_uOgxVI\\\/AAAAAAAADTc\\\/6A-REsriQwA\\\/w479-h288-no\\\/Life.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Personal\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/\",\"name\":\"I'm Born, I Fidget, I Die\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\\\/-STWusbDauaw\\\/Uj34_uOgxVI\\\/AAAAAAAADTc\\\/6A-REsriQwA\\\/w479-h288-no\\\/Life.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-09-24T05:00:57+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\\\/-STWusbDauaw\\\/Uj34_uOgxVI\\\/AAAAAAAADTc\\\/6A-REsriQwA\\\/w479-h288-no\\\/Life.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\\\/-STWusbDauaw\\\/Uj34_uOgxVI\\\/AAAAAAAADTc\\\/6A-REsriQwA\\\/w479-h288-no\\\/Life.png\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/2013\\\/personal\\\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"I’m Born, I Fidget, I Die\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/\",\"name\":\"Expressions - Bhagwad Jal Park\",\"description\":\"My thoughts, haikus and freelance musings\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":[\"Person\",\"Organization\"],\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23\",\"name\":\"bhagwad\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/litespeed\\\/avatar\\\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/litespeed\\\/avatar\\\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/litespeed\\\/avatar\\\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388\",\"caption\":\"bhagwad\"},\"logo\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/litespeed\\\/avatar\\\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/www.bhagwad.com\\\/blog\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"I'm Born, I Fidget, I Die","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"I'm Born, I Fidget, I Die","og_description":"Nothingness stretches out to infinity in both directions - before I'm born and after my death. With some restless fidgeting in between.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/","og_site_name":"Expressions - Bhagwad Jal Park","article_published_time":"2013-09-24T05:00:57+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-STWusbDauaw\/Uj34_uOgxVI\/AAAAAAAADTc\/6A-REsriQwA\/w479-h288-no\/Life.png","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"bhagwad","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@bhagwad","twitter_site":"@bhagwad","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"bhagwad","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/"},"author":{"name":"bhagwad","@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23"},"headline":"I’m Born, I Fidget, I Die","datePublished":"2013-09-24T05:00:57+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/"},"wordCount":516,"commentCount":13,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-STWusbDauaw\/Uj34_uOgxVI\/AAAAAAAADTc\/6A-REsriQwA\/w479-h288-no\/Life.png","articleSection":["Personal"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/","url":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/","name":"I'm Born, I Fidget, I Die","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-STWusbDauaw\/Uj34_uOgxVI\/AAAAAAAADTc\/6A-REsriQwA\/w479-h288-no\/Life.png","datePublished":"2013-09-24T05:00:57+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-STWusbDauaw\/Uj34_uOgxVI\/AAAAAAAADTc\/6A-REsriQwA\/w479-h288-no\/Life.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-STWusbDauaw\/Uj34_uOgxVI\/AAAAAAAADTc\/6A-REsriQwA\/w479-h288-no\/Life.png"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2013\/personal\/im-born-i-fidget-i-die.html\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"I’m Born, I Fidget, I Die"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/","name":"Expressions - Bhagwad Jal Park","description":"My thoughts, haikus and freelance musings","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":["Person","Organization"],"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/06c9c710885b810f1dfe3779fc346b23","name":"bhagwad","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-content\/litespeed\/avatar\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388","url":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-content\/litespeed\/avatar\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-content\/litespeed\/avatar\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388","caption":"bhagwad"},"logo":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-content\/litespeed\/avatar\/7940f38fc479ebe739ec963b542bf098.jpg?ver=1782319388"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3684"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3684\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}