{"id":3829,"date":"2014-04-28T23:42:06","date_gmt":"2014-04-28T18:12:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/?p=3829"},"modified":"2014-04-28T23:42:06","modified_gmt":"2014-04-28T18:12:06","slug":"isnt-dowry-given-voluntarily","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bhagwad.com\/blog\/2014\/politics\/isnt-dowry-given-voluntarily.html\/","title":{"rendered":"Isn’t Dowry Given Voluntarily?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A huge debate in India is whether or not the government should make choices for people – usually women – and decide for them how they should live their lives. It’s part of a larger debate on the role of the government throughout the world. The US Supreme Court for example, upheld the ban on affirmative action<\/a>, the US version of reservations, following\u00a0the famous quote from Roberts “The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race”. The underlying theme is this: To what extent should the government interfere in social realities?<\/p>\n

I of course feel\u00a0that laws should ignore social realities<\/a>, and merely describe the ideal society with strong law enforcement. But what about dowry? Indian laws make it illegal to ask for dowry. While in no way condoning the practice, and though I feel that anyone who asks for a dowry is a giant douche, isn’t all dowry voluntarily given? And if so, does the government have the right to ban it?<\/p>\n

When I say “voluntarily”, I mean that it’s not taken by force. No one’s bank account is hacked and no one has a gun to their head to sign a cheque. It seems that dowry is merely a “price” for the marriage. How then, is it any different from a shopkeeper asking for a price for their goods? If I go to a restaurant and I find the price on the menu too high, do I simply walk away from the restaurant, or do I take the owner to court for specifying the terms of the contract?<\/p>\n

People marry for different reasons. Some marry for love. Others to satisfy their parents. Some do it for the money. And the best part is that none of this is forced. Two parties marry willingly – again in the sense that no one holds a gun to the head of either the man or the woman, both of whom are over 18. Nowhere either in the Constitution, or the law does it state the reasons for marriage. It’s legal for two perfect strangers to tie the knot\u00a0overnight. So who is the government to specify what the terms of a marriage should be?<\/p>\n

How is dowry it any different from a shopkeeper asking for a price for their goods?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The most common response to this is that not every woman can just walk away from the marriage and say “no”. Does it make me a heartless person to say “That’s her problem?”. The law assumes that all adults are responsible for their own lives. If a woman over 18 signs a legally binding contract, can she complain later that she didn’t know what she was getting into? Can she say that she was pressurized to sign it by her parents?<\/p>\n

The state endows us with all kinds of rights\u00a0when we turn 18. The right to vote. To drive. To have kids. To drink. To marry. To enter into legal obligations of our own free will. But all these hinge on the assumption that adults are capable of taking their own decisions. If we accept that there are some women who are unable to take their own decisions, should we not then also take away their rights since they are not capable of wielding them? How do we know for example, that a woman is not coerced into voting for a particular party? How do we know she wasn’t browbeaten into signing a contract?<\/p>\n

In my opinion, the right to give and receive dowry is a personal matter between the bride and the bridegroom (or their parents). The government should not assume that a woman over 18 can be coerced like a child. If it does, then it must continue to\u00a0treat<\/em> them like a child and forbid them to marry in the first place.<\/p>\n

When we have laws treating women like children, is it any surprise that people and even judges are starting to do the same?\u00a0One ridiculous statement from the Kerela HC said that parents have a\u00a0legal say in the marriage of their children<\/a>.\u00a0Isn’t it obvious how much harm gender based laws are causing?<\/p>\n

What’s the resolution? Is a woman who turns 18, an adult or a child? Do we need new definitions of these concepts?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Should dowry be illegal in India? As despicable a practice as it is, I don’t think it should.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3829","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","category-rights-and-freedoms"],"yoast_head":"\nIsn't Dowry Given Voluntarily?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Should dowry be illegal in India? 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