Pretentious crap that pisses me off – 3 examples
Today I watched the last episode of an awesome series called “The Prisoner” (1967). I won’t tell you what it’s about, but it’s pretty mind bending and makes you think about new and interesting concepts. Unfortunately, as the series progressive, it becomes more and more “arty” and begins to stray into allegory. The finale called “Fall Out” turns out to be a total mess with the entire episode seeming like a disjointed nightmare. The worst of it was that this episode was hailed as a major accomplishment and a testament to the skills of the director.
Now let’s get one thing straight. I’m a barbarian. I like things to be straightforward and have a clear meaning. Movies should have good and interesting plots – otherwise they’re pretentious crap. Those who praise “Artistic” movies that rely on “style” and “technical accomplishment” should, in my opinion keep their views to themselves. And for good reasons. There are a class of people (I’m sure you’ve met them) who need to feel superior, and when they’re told that such and such a thing is “classic”, will harp on about it even if it bores them to death – perhaps because it bores them to death.
Image Credit: emurray
Wine - Snobbery at its finest
Here’s a powerful illustration of what I’m saying. You know how “sophisticated” people talk about wine? They’ll drone on and on about how each wine is unique and reflects the vineyard it came from. Then they’ll taste it and pretend to pass judgment on its quality and talk about it’s “history” etc etc. I’ve always itched to do a proper randomized double blind test on these pretentious snobs who just want to look “cultured”. Well, we recently found out that the notion of “minerality” – being able to taste the soil of the wine is a complete and utter myth. And people have been believing this crap for centuries.
I can find similar examples of people claiming to be able to distinguish between good and bad art. There is no such thing as good art and bad art. If people didn’t know they were supposed to appreciate Van Gogh, almost everyone would say his paintings are childish and immature. But because they know it’s a Van Gogh painting, they’ll ooh and aah over it and find hidden mysteries that only their eyes can see. Coming back to movies, there are similar tides flowing here as well. Movies that are crappy as hell are praised by critics merely because they’re supposed to be praised. Once again, I would love a randomized double blind test to be done to weed out these phonies.
Citizen Kane - A boring dump of a movie
Citizen Kane is one such overrated movie. The American Film Institute however, thinks it’s the greatest movie ever made and has repeatedly put it at the top of its list of best 100 movies of all time. The truth however, is that it’s one of the most mundane movies I’ve seen. And if a movie is boring, it deserves not to be seen. I’m throwing down a challenge to whoever reads this. Watch “Citizen Kane” and tell me if it’s interesting. I don’t care about how groundbreaking it was in 1941 and how much it’s affected film making since then. I want to know if you think you can stay riveted on the plot and whether or not you can bring yourself to give a shit about a boring rich man who says “Rosebud.”
How a movie can be called the greatest of all time when it’s like watching flies fuck (to borrow a quote from the immortal George Carlin) is something I can’t understand. Movie connoisseurs who cream their pants thinking of Citizen Kane feel that just because a boring movie introduced new techniques in 1941, it has a right to be called the greatest.
2001: A Space Odyssey - Slow paced with no plot
Next in line is 2001: A Space Odyssey. Another movie that’s as interesting as watching paint dry. Nothing happens until half an hour into the movie. We actually have 20 minutes of watching a space ship fly through space (and nothing else) with Beethoven Strauss music playing in the background. Mind, I enjoyed watching Kubrick’s “A Clockwork Orange” immensely. It has a plot. But A Space Odyssey is an exercise in frustration. The only reason I forced myself to watch it was because I was waiting for the supercool computer villain HAL 9000. But even that wasn’t enough to make up for the sheer boredom of the experience. And the ending is confusing as hell. You don’t know what happened!
Of course, we see the same trend in literature and poetry too, where snobbery is the norm and a means of showing superiority. It’s so pervasive and frustrating, that it’s more noble to take a stand on the opposite extreme. So here’s my message to the “sophisticated” ones: I’m a philistine. I don’t understand all the “arty” stuff. Give me movies and literature with proper plots, paintings that are easy to understand and don’t expect me to know better. I’m sure you don’t really understand either.
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Pretentious crap that pisses me off – 3 examples http://bit.ly/6IAuo5 via AddToAny
This comment was originally posted on Twitter
Funny that you believe that things that you don’t understand is not understood by anyone else.
@Sakthi
In my opinion, there are certain things that are appreciated only because they’re supposed to be appreciated. The examples I’ve given above can be tested by anyone.
Though I’m sure there are some items that can be appreciated only if you have the knowledge (mostly in the sciences like physics, economics, geology etc), I don’t believe there are many of them. I would say that 75-80% of all art criticism is bullshit.
Try and watch Citizen Kane and let me know if you agree with me.
And you assume that I would have never watched Citizen Kane.. Now that is one kind of pretentiousness that people should talk about too..
@Sakthi
Sorry – I assumed that if you had watched it, you would have got my point. And that’s not pretentiousness! Most people haven’t so it’s just probability, not a statement of value
I think you mean Strauss. Not Beethoven.
But what do I know. I enjoyed Citizen Kane. Magnificent Ambersons – not so much.
Hi Bhagwad,
I do agree with Sakthi. If you dont like or understand a taste that dosent mean that other will keep the same opinion.
Slowly and gradually, against all my wish, I have started preparing myself that all your intentions for such writings, in your blog, is just to attract audience. Bhagwad, I know you since MBA days and your thinking process havent change since. But lately your writing has started portraying your Genius as well as a Nerd in disguise.
My intention are to maintain only that you have concluded to be explicit in your writing. Anyways I always long to see your reasons against everything on this earth. That makes my day and help me gather woods to fire my imagination.
Sajid
Art is a subjective thing…I can understand how one person can like one piece of art and another not…I dislike people who try to force their views on others and who appreciate things because they are supposed to be appreciated…I too didn’t like Citizen Kane and I fell asleep watching A Clockwork Orange…Sholay is another movie that is overrated at least in my view…I’ve never understood the appeal of it…
I know of people who have suddenly become wine connoisseurs after having lived in the States for a few months…Since we are not dogs, I don’t see how anybody can develop such keen sense of smell and taste in such a short period of time…
I know nothing about wine connoisseurs, I only know people who loathe the taste of wine and prefer kingfisher
But talk about art and movies.. that is a different game altogether.. I hate science fiction or horror or even comics for that matter and I used to wonder how do adults sit through and read Harry Potter or watch that movie.. But I don’t dismiss them as pretentious people.. Its just something that I don’t like but someone else likes..
Not necessarily everyone should agree to my point of view.. But then the language and the assumptions that were supporting your stand here are not very good..
@the plasticgraduate
You’re right. I meant Strauss
@Sakthi
I think I need to clarify just a bit. I admit that other people have different tastes. So if one person dislikes horror and another doesn’t, I don’t call that pretentiousness.
I have a problem when it’s implied that there is a certain superiority associated with a taste. For example, wine appreciators “looking down” on upon those who don’t. Or those who tell those who didn’t like Citizen Kane that they have to have a deeper understanding to appreciate a fine movie such as this. Basically implying that others who don’t appreciate it are deficient in some way or another.
I think that’s bullshit and those who say or think these things are pretentious.
” Commandment Number One for any truly civilized society is this:
Let people be different.”
– David Grayson [pen name of Ray Stannard Baker], journalist, author (1870-1946)
For those interested, humerous article on why Citizen Kane is overrated.
haha.I wrote the same thing about citizen kane,though in a totally different concept.
http://lostonthestreet.wordpress.com/2009/06/13/welcome-to-my-lesbian-paradise/
I often wonder how some books manage to stay on the “must read” list for ages,when most people would rather read the back of a shampoo bottle than proceed beyond 10 pages of said masterpiece.
@lostonthestreet
I hear you. Some examples of such books in my experience are:
1. The Great Gatsby
2. Ulysses
3. Heart of Darkness
All of these are supposed to be classics, but I found them ridiculously boring with hardly any good plot. I tried reading Ulysses twice but couldn’t.
I agree with Sraboney here Bhagwad, Art is a subjective thing, one guy’s art art is another one’s trash.
In 1980s when I knew nothing about paintings or painters I bought some chana from a DTC bus, it was wrapped in a glossy paper, and the paper had some bright coloured paintings – I liked the paintings and saved the paper (and still have it). I even copied the paintings and the style (very badly) – I was of course atrociously uninformed – those were photographs of MF Hussain’s paintings. My sister, who studied art, insists MF Hussain creates ’saleable’ stuff and I tell her I prefer saleable stuff not ‘real art’
And I, like you, prefer easy to understand styles, but I have seen people sit through Spicmacay and enjoy pure classical music which bores me to tears… so long as they try to put others down – it’s fine.
Sraboney had posted about how a highly talented and renowned musician played at a railway station and no one stopped or appreciated … I also feel give me an AR Rehman or Beatles any day
@tp
I agree. Live and let live. To each their own.