How do we develop a ‘Self’?. For be assured, the self exists only as a potentiality in the beginning. It is yet to grow and flower. For this, primarily the correct conditions must initially be present from the outside. But such is the crying out for growth, that even when the initial conditions are not present, a person can through his conscious effort nurture himself. But this requires great courage, for the forces that stifled initially must be overcome. Forces like shame, guilt, fear, and harmful ways of thinking.
To express is to give fruit. To sing, to create, to relate, to think. Any one of these powers when stifled, will wither. Expression has meaning when something demands to come out. Different expressions are different facets of our core. To sparkle, the various facets must be brought out.
This is what it means to be ourselves. To put down something because of expediency in specific occasions may be fine. One cannot burst into song at a funeral. But to consistently put down your feelings, urges, and inclinations, will lead to the powers withering, or turning to their opposite. To feel ashamed of your urge to sing in the bathroom will for example, make it harder to do it the next time. For our powers grow when used, and diminish when not used. And then who are we? We have betrayed ourselves. Betrayed our voices, and instincts. At least if we must be evil, let us be evil in earnest, instead of being an indifferent thing with no real life, living mechanically, and for whom? Who do we work so hard for, when we don’t have an identity?
This is what it means to have an identity. To have a self. This is what it means to be ourselves. To acknowledge who we are, and what we can become. And have faith that the tendency for growth is there. For we were meant to be be independent, compassionate, playful, and creative. Grief is just as important as happiness. We feel today instead of grief, a dull despair in everything. Depression and grief are so very different. Along with that, self control is another potentiality as well. This too must be developed. So we see that the power to grow is in us all.
To the extent to which we give fruit, we are true to ourselves. And it is continuous. As Goethe said, we must conquer ourselves anew everyday. We have never ‘Arrived’. And it is such a joy to express, who will not want to do it? True happiness is achieved everyday by our efforts.