Before we came to the US, a friend of mine warned us that America was a country of tips. He said that you were more than just expected to tip people who served you – they almost demanded it. Now I’m a guy who hardly ever tips. Sometimes I leave a few coins on the table in restaurants because it’s too much of a headache to put them into my wallet. I had heard that tipping in the US was a customary 15%. Plenty of literature out there makes me aware that this figure has been climbing and now hovers around 20%.
Image Credit: Cali2Okie
But in the spirit of America (The whole when in Rome, do as the Romans do idea), my wife and I decided to tip while in this country. We agreed to pay a dollar or two now and then to the waiters who served us in restaurants. We never pay a percentage of the bill because most of the time that’s too much. We travel a lot and dollars are scarce. We can never spare more than a couple.
Two incidents however have made me realize just how much the tipping culture has been ingrained into people in the US.
On a certain weekend, we decided to eat Korean food. We settled on a particular restaurant and while the food was good, the waitress (who may have been the owner) was somewhat inattentive and rude. We didn’t really mind, and we simply decided not to leave a tip. As we were leaving, the woman in question accosted me and demanded to know why we didn’t leave a tip! I was so startled by this, that I simply blurted out that we never left tips, upon which, she just walked off in a huff. My wife and I had a good laugh over her anger and went on our way.
But the second experience was more frustrating and really pissed me off. We went on a three day cruise to the Bahamas with a company called “Carnival”. Now this was supposed to be an “All expenses” paid trip. Of course, it goes without saying that we chose this particular trip because it was the most affordable.
On the second day of the cruise, the bill arrived. And it was a shocker. Each of us had been charged $10 per day per person for gratuities (namely tips) – totaling a magnificent $60. For tips! I was stunned that the company included tips for the staff in the bill without asking me. Of course, it was probably there in the contract fine print – but who reads all that when on a vacation?
We almost had a heart attack. $60 is no joke and not something we can afford. My wife thought that we wouldn’t be able to remove it, but I decided that it has to be outright illegal to force people to pay tips. So I went to the information desk and asked the woman to kindly remove it. She did so, and gave us envelopes whereby we could put the tips in cash at our discretion. They actually have envelopes for the purpose of tipping – I kid you not.
When I contacted the agent who booked the cruise and told her about this, she asked me why I removed the $60. I replied that I couldn’t afford it. Upon which she said that the staff don’t get paid for the services and that I should have paid the tips to make it up for them! I merely replied that I never asked anyone to clean my room or render any other service to me. If they did it without asking me, that was their choice. I shouldn’t have to pay for something I didn’t ask for.
Moreover, unless I’m mistaken, it was the job of the crew to clean my room. Since when do I pay people for doing their job? One might argue that the crew don’t get paid enough and rely on tips to shore them up. My only answer is why is it my job to make up for their low wages? Sure the service was great, but I wouldn’t pay a single cent for it.
I feel that most people are simply too ashamed or shy to walk up to the counter and demand that the gratuity charge be removed. The cruise company is essentially blackmailing us – pay up, or face the embarrassment. Of course, money is money and I would rather face any embarrassment than pay $60. Those who say that it was unethical not to pay, should realize that if it was so important, then they should have included the extra amount in the cost of the cruise upfront as service charge or whatever. Once I agree to pay a certain amount for a package, I should pay nothing else since it’s already expensive as it is. I pity people who come with their entire families – those guys can end up paying hundreds of dollars in tips.
There are people who say that if I don’t intend to tip, I shouldn’t go out and eat or go on a vacation in the first place. What nonsense! Withholding my money instead of tipping is hardly illegal. If the waiters can’t do without tips let the management include the cost in the price of the food. Don’t expect me to pay anything that I don’t legally have to – especially if I feel obligated to do so.
All in all, the American tipping system is rather odd. Not that tipping is an odd concept. What is unusual, is that people here demand tips rather than expect them – as if they have a right to my money.
The important point is – the cruise company charges the gratuities regardless of whether the service provided was exceptional or not. If I am not mistaken, the original concept of a tip was to reward a service provider who has gone out of his/her way for you.How then can this amount be decided by something as impersonal as a company? Its between the service provider (waiter/steward etc) and me.
By the same token, would you tip an airline stewardess? Or are you tipped for providing exemplary custoemer service? I think you did the right thing by standing up for what you believed in and putting your foot down. Most of us don't do it enough and I think that is what has led to this situation where a tip is demanded rather than accepted with gratitude.
To be honest, you sound ignorant and you should be ashamed for even spewing this over the internet. Many cruise lines including
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The United States is not a tipping nation
Oh boy, can I feel your anger. I wrote something similar,and that's how Anupa linked me to your blog.
I think Spencer's comment just reflects the whole attitude that I am against.
It is NOT against tipping.It is being FORCED to tip,that I vehemently oppose.
In reply to lostonthestreet
Your not forced to tip. No one is.
@lostonthestreet
I completely agree – it's the whole idea of being forced that practically ensures I won't tip. The pleasure of any service is ruined beforehand knowing that the waiter or whoever is being extra nice/polite just so he or she will be tipped.
Even getting a haircut is a problem – it's so aggravating!
“I merely replied that I never asked anyone to clean my room or render any other service to me. If they did it without asking me, that was their choice. I shouldn’t have to pay for something I didn’t ask for.”
HAHA That’s awesome & so true!
u make converts out of ppl. sure, tipping is nice.. but i have always wondered why the staff that toils it out in the hot kitchen is not supposed to get any part of it. the guy who picks it up and brings it gets the extra money?
and like someone else said, this way, all customer service jobs will ask for a “tip”, which is a funny idea in its current form.
u did the right thing by removing the “gratuities”. :-) hell, tell them , out here in india, we only get a gratuity on retirement.. and we have to earn all of it.
Dude, your posts are starting to be referenced by magazine blogs as an ignorant cheapskate’s ideology. I won’t mention which ones, but that’s how I found yours here.
I don’t agree with you at all, but you should really try working as a waiter or other tip-oriented position for a week… When you came to America, you are expected to take on certain values and customs… being that tipping is expected and a decent American does this…
Also, if you can’t afford $60 on a cruise, then you honestly have no business taking vacations.
Add to your integrity as a writer and a blogger and work for a week or two in the business. Then think about it honestly and objectively and I guarantee you, you will change your view. Either that, or you are selfish and never really had a lot of kindness shown to you when you were growing up.
In reply to KMoves
Sorry, but you don’t get to decide what is “American” and what isn’t. There are many American citizens who agree with me as well, so what will you say to them?
In reply to bhagwad
Grade A douche bag.
I’m putting your sorry ass all over the waiter forums . They’ll know what you look like. Good luck getting a table anywhere .
You should try waiting tables.
See if it’s so easy and brainless.
Ignorant fuck.
You tip me coins on a check I’ll beat the life out of you . And keep my job after it .
In reply to Joe
You’re seriously threatening him? With that? Snort. Wow, that makes you look SO professional. You’ll “beat the life,” out of him? So you also threaten people with violence. Yeah, me thinks you deserve to be nothing but a waiter. Actually, you don’t even deserve that. You deserve to be a field hand, somewhere. But by all means, threaten to beat me up too. I live in Texas, and a lot of us have concealed handgun carry licenses. If you assault someone, and you get shot, um, they’ll keep their jobs, their money, their freedom, and you’ll be a laughing stock. Loser.
In reply to KMoves
“You have no business taking vacations”? Really?
If I went on an “all expenses paid” cruise and then, while on day 2 of the cruise, unable to leave if I disagreed with their policy, was told there were now additional expenses by way of gratuities, there is no way in hell I would pay them.
They do this because they assume that everyone there has the money to pay, and will see this as a necessary extra cost, and feel forced to pay. Well guess what? Even though I can afford it, and would have likely left tips for extras that increase my enjoyment while on vacation, by trying to extort this money out of me in this way only ensures you will get nothing.
All expenses paid means I don’t have to spend a dime while I am here. Not now that I’m here I need to keep paying you to do your job.
In reply to Brad
Yeah you show that cruise company by not giving their employees money they have earned!!! Way to draw a line in the sand tough guy