Before we came to the US, a friend of mine warned us that America was a country of tips. He said that you were more than just expected to tip people who served you – they almost demanded it. Now I’m a guy who hardly ever tips. Sometimes I leave a few coins on the table in restaurants because it’s too much of a headache to put them into my wallet. I had heard that tipping in the US was a customary 15%. Plenty of literature out there makes me aware that this figure has been climbing and now hovers around 20%.
Image Credit: Cali2Okie
But in the spirit of America (The whole when in Rome, do as the Romans do idea), my wife and I decided to tip while in this country. We agreed to pay a dollar or two now and then to the waiters who served us in restaurants. We never pay a percentage of the bill because most of the time that’s too much. We travel a lot and dollars are scarce. We can never spare more than a couple.
Two incidents however have made me realize just how much the tipping culture has been ingrained into people in the US.
On a certain weekend, we decided to eat Korean food. We settled on a particular restaurant and while the food was good, the waitress (who may have been the owner) was somewhat inattentive and rude. We didn’t really mind, and we simply decided not to leave a tip. As we were leaving, the woman in question accosted me and demanded to know why we didn’t leave a tip! I was so startled by this, that I simply blurted out that we never left tips, upon which, she just walked off in a huff. My wife and I had a good laugh over her anger and went on our way.
But the second experience was more frustrating and really pissed me off. We went on a three day cruise to the Bahamas with a company called “Carnival”. Now this was supposed to be an “All expenses” paid trip. Of course, it goes without saying that we chose this particular trip because it was the most affordable.
On the second day of the cruise, the bill arrived. And it was a shocker. Each of us had been charged $10 per day per person for gratuities (namely tips) – totaling a magnificent $60. For tips! I was stunned that the company included tips for the staff in the bill without asking me. Of course, it was probably there in the contract fine print – but who reads all that when on a vacation?
We almost had a heart attack. $60 is no joke and not something we can afford. My wife thought that we wouldn’t be able to remove it, but I decided that it has to be outright illegal to force people to pay tips. So I went to the information desk and asked the woman to kindly remove it. She did so, and gave us envelopes whereby we could put the tips in cash at our discretion. They actually have envelopes for the purpose of tipping – I kid you not.
When I contacted the agent who booked the cruise and told her about this, she asked me why I removed the $60. I replied that I couldn’t afford it. Upon which she said that the staff don’t get paid for the services and that I should have paid the tips to make it up for them! I merely replied that I never asked anyone to clean my room or render any other service to me. If they did it without asking me, that was their choice. I shouldn’t have to pay for something I didn’t ask for.
Moreover, unless I’m mistaken, it was the job of the crew to clean my room. Since when do I pay people for doing their job? One might argue that the crew don’t get paid enough and rely on tips to shore them up. My only answer is why is it my job to make up for their low wages? Sure the service was great, but I wouldn’t pay a single cent for it.
I feel that most people are simply too ashamed or shy to walk up to the counter and demand that the gratuity charge be removed. The cruise company is essentially blackmailing us – pay up, or face the embarrassment. Of course, money is money and I would rather face any embarrassment than pay $60. Those who say that it was unethical not to pay, should realize that if it was so important, then they should have included the extra amount in the cost of the cruise upfront as service charge or whatever. Once I agree to pay a certain amount for a package, I should pay nothing else since it’s already expensive as it is. I pity people who come with their entire families – those guys can end up paying hundreds of dollars in tips.
There are people who say that if I don’t intend to tip, I shouldn’t go out and eat or go on a vacation in the first place. What nonsense! Withholding my money instead of tipping is hardly illegal. If the waiters can’t do without tips let the management include the cost in the price of the food. Don’t expect me to pay anything that I don’t legally have to – especially if I feel obligated to do so.
All in all, the American tipping system is rather odd. Not that tipping is an odd concept. What is unusual, is that people here demand tips rather than expect them – as if they have a right to my money.
You are exactly correct. I do not decide, and neither do you, nor do the other Americans who agree with you. It is an agreed upon consensus of the majority which determines the identity, culture, and nature of what is American… Tipping at restaurants and cruises is widely agreed upon, consented to, and implemented. And I would say that to the others as well. If you don’t want to tip or you can’t afford to tip, you should not eat out or vacation with a company that practices it.
In reply to KMoves
“It is an agreed upon consensus of the majority which determines the identity, culture, and nature of what is American”
This…is patently false. In fact, there is no such thing as “American”. The legal requirement is the closest thing to “American” that we can agree on.
“Society” is a myth. It doesn’t exist. It’s a fabrication of one’s mind.
In reply to bhagwad
This is not the matrix assclown.
Americans as a whole decide.
Just like in India everyone decides to have dozens of children knowing they are dirt POOR and can’t take if them. That is their society. Or is it a figment of their imagination ??
In regards to food service:
This is clearly a field you have never had experience working in.
Servers are paid a basic rate of less than minimum wage- when I was working, it was $5.25 an hour. The reason for this is that our tips are figured into our pay- meaning it’s assumed that we’re going to be making money in tips.
We work hard to earn those tips, believe me. I can’t speak for every waitress, but I can tell you that it’s a job that requires a lot energy, dexterity, and positivity. It’s a memory game, trying to keep track of every person’s order, demand, etc. In addition, it’s a constant balancing act to keep everyone pleased. Yes, that’s our ‘job’, but we’re human, just like you.
Maybe you don’t agree with the idea of automatic tipping, but these people rely on that to help pay their bills- it’s figured into their income. The people who handle the food in back are paid double, if not triple, what waitresses are, to compensate for the fact that they’re not being tipped. Serving is not just “bringing food” to a table. Try it for a week and then come talk to me.
These servers are typically young people trying to make a dollar. Maybe you think you’re “challenging the system” by not tipping, but looking at it humanistically, you’re shortchanging a person who relies on these tips. I know you’re trying to look at this as something based on principle, but it effects people individually. If you have the money to go on a goddamn cruise, you can afford to tip 25 percent at a restaurant. My salary is comically small and I manage to find a way to do it.
Are all Indians cheapskates?
In reply to Indians are ew
No, many know the value of hard work and started out in small jobs themselves when they first came to America. This person is speaking based on his personal experiences, not as a representation of the race
I sincerely wish you would leave my country immediately. You seem to have no respect for our customs and have no intention of fitting in. You do a great disservice to your fellow Indians by perpetuating the stereotype of being cheap.
You want all of the services and opportunities provided by this country but you refuse to do your part to keep our economy running. As a fellow immigrant, I can tell you that you are an embarassment. Your manners are horrible and you should go to your home country as you are a poor addition to the United States.
Fit in or fuck off.
In reply to Esteban Reyes
Lol, unfortunately you don’t get to decide who a “true American” is. I follow the laws and that’s it. Keep your traditions and culture to yourself. Follow them if you want but don’t pretend that they mean anything.
In reply to bhagwad
It looks like you ran home to India with your tail between your legs. Of course you know you will not be missed.
America accepts people from all over the world. No one is saying there is only one correct way to be an American but you have proven yourself to be a first rate asshole in any country on the planet.
In reply to bhagwad
The food is priced cheaper because tips are expected, you idiot. Stop being a dick. If you can’t afford to tip your server, don’t go out to eat.
You being a student of the world and also American customs how do you not tip your server? You said you read up on the gratuity customs of the United States and yet you don’t comply with them and only leave a tip when it’s too “difficult” to put the 38 cents in your pocket. What an insult! I’ve been stiffed on the bill before and am usually accepting of other cultures and their customs when it comes to tipping, but their is no bigger slap in the face than leftover change. Oh and the $5 you can’t afford at then end of your $30 bill for you and your wife… imagine if all servers were paid $15-$20 an hour. Then your bill would be double or triple… so you say it’s the burden of the employer to fill in for the lost compensation, but yet you say you can’t afford to pay for their service.
It’s one thing to say you’re poor, but another thing to eat out often enough that you have had multiple instances of servers being so offended that they confront you about not leaving a gratuity. I have only done it a handful of times and I only ask if their was a problem with the service because I like to think my customer service is great I still believe I can improve. Most servers swallow their pride when no tip is left so for you to be confronted multiple times means that you eat out very often so then you indeed have enough money to tip.
I’ve thought about doing some world traveling myself and I wonder why you didn’t move to Australia. In that country tipping is very frowned upon and even seen as an insult. The waiters and bartenders are compensated by the employer just like you requested so no extra money out of your pocket is expected. Sounds great huh? Well since every server makes about $20 an hour or more from their employer those costs trickle on down to you! So what you’re telling me is that $20 for a beer and $50 per plate at a marginal restaurant is ok with you because no tip is expected?
again, way to be a shitty, selfish, ignorant guy. good job perpetuating the stereotype.
You’re a sack of shit. Please leave my country.
You can afford a vacation and you can afford to eat out, but you can’t afford the customary tip.
Tips are 80 percent of a waiters income.
Oh, how I wish I could cut YOUR pay by 80 percent, if just for a day, a week, a month, a year, forever.
See how u like it u sack o crap!!!
You know how we have a sex offender registry? I think there should be one for non-tippers so those in the service industry will know to give you crappy service. You get what you pay for eh? You must think you are above those in the service industry because you treat them like dirt! You disgust me!