Cruise Gratuities and tipping

Before we came to the US, a friend of mine warned us that America was a country of tips. He said that you were more than just expected to tip people who served you – they almost demanded it. Now I’m a guy who hardly ever tips. Sometimes I leave a few coins on the table in restaurants because it’s too much of a headache to put them into my wallet. I had heard that tipping in the US was a customary 15%. Plenty of literature out there makes me aware that this figure has been climbing and now hovers around 20%.

Image Credit: Cali2Okie

But in the spirit of America (The whole when in Rome, do as the Romans do idea), my wife and I decided to tip while in this country. We agreed to pay a dollar or two now and then to the waiters who served us in restaurants. We never pay a percentage of the bill because most of the time that’s too much. We travel a lot and dollars are scarce. We can never spare more than a couple.

Two incidents however have made me realize just how much the tipping culture has been ingrained into people in the US.

On a certain weekend, we decided to eat Korean food. We settled on a particular restaurant and while the food was good, the waitress (who may have been the owner) was somewhat inattentive and rude. We didn’t really mind, and we simply decided not to leave a tip. As we were leaving, the woman in question accosted me and demanded to know why we didn’t leave a tip! I was so startled by this, that I simply blurted out that we never left tips, upon which, she just walked off in a huff. My wife and I had a good laugh over her anger and went on our way.

But the second experience was more frustrating and really pissed me off. We went on a three day cruise to the Bahamas with a company called “Carnival”. Now this was supposed to be an “All expenses” paid trip. Of course, it goes without saying that we chose this particular trip because it was the most affordable.

On the second day of the cruise, the bill arrived. And it was a shocker. Each of us had been charged $10 per day per person for gratuities (namely tips) – totaling a magnificent $60. For tips! I was stunned that the company included tips for the staff in the bill without asking me. Of course, it was probably there in the contract fine print – but who reads all that when on a vacation?

We almost had a heart attack. $60 is no joke and not something we can afford. My wife thought that we wouldn’t be able to remove it, but I decided that it has to be outright illegal to force people to pay tips. So I went to the information desk and asked the woman to kindly remove it. She did so, and gave us envelopes whereby we could put the tips in cash at our discretion. They actually have envelopes for the purpose of tipping – I kid you not.

When I contacted the agent who booked the cruise and told her about this, she asked me why I removed the $60. I replied that I couldn’t afford it. Upon which she said that the staff don’t get paid for the services and that I should have paid the tips to make it up for them! I merely replied that I never asked anyone to clean my room or render any other service to me. If they did it without asking me, that was their choice. I shouldn’t have to pay for something I didn’t ask for.

Moreover, unless I’m mistaken, it was the job of the crew to clean my room. Since when do I pay people for doing their job? One might argue that the crew don’t get paid enough and rely on tips to shore them up. My only answer is why is it my job to make up for their low wages? Sure the service was great, but I wouldn’t pay a single cent for it.

I feel that most people are simply too ashamed or shy to walk up to the counter and demand that the gratuity charge be removed. The cruise company is essentially blackmailing us – pay up, or face the embarrassment. Of course, money is money and I would rather face any embarrassment than pay $60. Those who say that it was unethical not to pay, should realize that if it was so important, then they should have included the extra amount in the cost of the cruise upfront as service charge or whatever. Once I agree to pay a certain amount for a package, I should pay nothing else since it’s already expensive as it is. I pity people who come with their entire families – those guys can end up paying hundreds of dollars in tips.

There are people who say that if I don’t intend to tip, I shouldn’t go out and eat or go on a vacation in the first place. What nonsense! Withholding my money instead of tipping is hardly illegal. If the waiters can’t do without tips let the management include the cost in the price of the food. Don’t expect me to pay anything that I don’t legally have to – especially if I feel obligated to do so.

All in all, the American tipping system is rather odd. Not that tipping is an odd concept. What is unusual, is that people here demand tips rather than expect them – as if they have a right to my money.